The Negotiation Society - Issue 3

ISSUE 3
The Negotiation Society
THE EXCLUSIVE MAGAZINE FOR ALUMNI OF THE GAP PARTNERSHIP
NEGOTIATION
TACTICS
The top 10 revealed
TAKING STOCK
Knowing what you want
before you go in
IT’S PERSONAL
Negotiation wins
outside of work
T H E P S Y C H O L O G Y O F
THE AUCTION
A special report into the auction industry
and how it drives the compulsion to bid

INSIDE THIS ISSUE
05 22
It’s Personal
Examples of negotiation
skills used to considerable
effect outside the
commercial world.
Negotiation
Tactics
You’ve used them and
they’ve been used on you.
But which are the most
effective, and how do
you counter them?
WELCOME FROM STEVE
26 28
Ask Alistair
Our resident guru
Mr White tackles
margin dilution
and warming up a
cold counterparty.
Ten Timely
Reminders
Taking Stock
32 34
A professor of conflict
resolution argues the case
for taking a hard look at
what you have, before you
decide what you need.
Art or Science?
Welcome to this third edition of The Negotiation
Society magazine. At the time of writing Comcast
have just beaten Disney-Fox with a mega bid of
£30bn for Sky in a case managed by the UK’s
takeover regulator, providing us with a timely
reminder that the bidding process is alive and
well and providing competitive market tension.
On what basis do I use the term “mega”? Well, I’m
comparing it to the entire GDP of Costa Rica,
which last year was $57bn.
Which is where we start this magazine, with
our cover story on the psychology of the auction.
Whatever bidding decision you make at two
o’clock on the Clockface, the sobering and exposing
moment which follows the hammer landing should
be followed by the self-assurance that the right
decisions have been taken. Elation, regret, denial
and rationale are all dependent on the strategy in
play by the bidder, combined with the auction house's
expertize, control of the process and understanding
of human psychology.
In our report we meet with Christie’s auction
house, first founded in 1766, to understand what we
might learn from those who have skilfully managed
auctions for literally centuries. Enjoy!
A refresher guide to the
most common oversights
that even experienced
negotiators can fall
victim to.
Our panel of experts
dissect a most philosophical
negotiation question –
is it an art or a science?
Steve Gates
CEO, The Gap Partnership
2

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
OUR CONTRIBUTORS
Dr Sarah Federman
Sarah teaches Negotiation
and Conflict Management at
the University of Baltimore.
Before this she had a decade-long
career in advertising, traveling
globally and negotiating with
companies such as Google, Expedia
and top-tier advertising agencies.
Sarah completed Harvard Business
School’s Key Executive Program
and now specializes in the role
of language in conflict.
Nick Hunter
Nick has over a decade of senior
commercial sales and management
experience in organizations
including Enterprise Rent A Car
and Coca Cola, where he headed up
L&D for the national commercial
teams. At TGP, Nick developed
The Foundation Negotiator, the
world’s first interactive online
negotiation program delivering
innovative learning in
multiple languages.
Liberté Nuti
As International Senior Director
Impressionist & Modern at
Hauser & Wirth, Liberté
focuses on the strategic growth
of private sales and advises artist
estates. Previously, Liberté was at
Christie’s for over two decades,
leading their Impressionist and
Modern art department where she
launched and grew their private
sales Modern art division.
Socrates Soumelas Caroline Haimei Wu Lloyd Barrett
A contract lawyer specializing
in marketing and new ventures,
Socrates holds an MBA from
Imperial College and an MSc
in Applied Psychology from the
American College of Greece.
After two decades in the
music business, Socrates now
combines his expertize in law,
business and psychology as a
negotiation consultant for
The Gap Partnership.
As a SAP consultant, Caroline
spent ten years negotiating
with customers and co-workers
from supply chain, finance,
purchasing and logistics.
To build experience negotiating
with suppliers, she then became
regional purchasing manager in
APAC. Today, Caroline works in
Henkel’s global purchasing team
in Amsterdam while studying
part-time for an MBA.
After gaining a degree in
mechanical engineering, Lloyd
started his own IT business.
He then became sales director
for a boutique angel investment
company, where he launched
Europe’s largest gold buying
operation. Following a stint at
TGP’s UK head office, Lloyd
relocated to Sydney, where he
now heads up the retail practice.
3

MY HEAD
GORDON ROSE
IS DIRECTOR OF STRATEGIC PARTNERSHIPS AT POST OFFICE LTD.
HE DISCOVERED A PASSION FOR NEGOTIATION EARLY IN HIS
CAREER, AND IT CONTINUES TO EXERT A STRONG INFLUENCE
ON HIM BOTH INSIDE AND OUTSIDE OF WORK.
How did you end up working in your
current role?
I dropped out of school at 16, hungry
to make money and joined a real estate
agency as junior negotiator. I found I
was good at it. Soon I was selling over
£1m worth of property each month,
multitasking as valuer, go-between and
mediator. I then returned to education
and armed with a business degree
entered the corporate world. I spent
the next 20 years developing strategic
relationships in the private and public
sectors. Today at The Post Office
I’m still negotiating, albeit in quite a
different way to how I did it in the ‘80s!
What is the most satisfying part of
your role?
I used to think landing the deal was
what I most enjoyed, but now I have
greater self-awareness as a negotiator
the bit I find really fascinating is the
psychology behind it. Today, I get most
reward from helping others negotiate:
acting as a sounding board, testing out
a negotiation strategy or helping to
resolve a deadlock situation.
And the most challenging?
Keeping my ego in check, focusing on
the possibilities of the deal rather than
trying to win, and always viewing the
deal through the other party’s eyes.
How important is the skill
of negotiation?
Negotiation has been at the heart of
everything I have done at work. But
it’s even bigger than that, it’s a life skill
and something we all do every day –
at work, at home, with our partners,
family, friends and our children.
I might have been negotiating deals
for 30 years but my pre-teen daughters
still manage to run circles around me.
Evidently I still have much to learn!
What has been your greatest
negotiation achievement?
Persuading my wife to marry me.
We knew each other for 15 years before
we got married and negotiations broke
down at times, but I persevered and
finally got to a deal. You’ll have to ask
my wife whether it was a good deal for
both parties!
Any negotiation disasters?
Oh yes. I decided to test out a game
theory I had been studying with my
extended family. The game was “Split
or Steal”. With a notional £20 at
stake, two players went head to head
with each choosing whether to split
the cash between them, or try to win
it all for themselves. If both players
chose Steal, nobody won. If both
chose Split, they won £10 each. But
if one went Split and the other Steal,
the player who chose Steal won it all.
The results were rather unexpected.
My decades-long-happily-married
parents-in-law both chose steal. My
brother-in-law persuaded his wife to
split, then ruthlessly stole her share.
But the most shocking outcome was
my 12-year-old daughter executing the
same “agree split, then steal” tactic on
her adored 7-year-old cousin, leaving
him inconsolable.
What’s the best advice you’ve ever
been given?
Trust your own intuition. No one
knows what’s right for you better than
you. I used to be embarrassed to admit
I’d dropped out of school and become
a real estate agent, but in hindsight it
would appear I was following a passion
for negotiation. I just didn’t realize it
for another 25 years.
What do you think is the future
of negotiation?
It’s full of possibility. Taking a
systematic approach and building
negotiation capability has the
potential to drive the biggest return on
investment. Embracing the concept of
the CNO (Chief Negotiation Officer)
in the same way we have embraced
the Chief Customer Officer and
Chief Technology Officer will enable
organizations to achieve greater value
for themselves, their customers and
their suppliers.
4

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
WORK
B A L A N C E
The concept of skills that transfer from a work
to personal environment may be overused –
we’re looking at you, multitasking – but the
universal applicability of good negotiation
technique is surely incontrovertible. We asked a
selection of TGP’ers to tell us how they’ve employed
their negotiation skills outside the office.
I wanted a new garden furniture set and popped to our local
garden center at the end of September for a look around.
The staff were busy putting out their Christmas stock,
including a herd of garden deer which took up a lot of
space. In the middle of the deer, squeezed in and somewhat
incongruous, was their last garden furniture set. I went over
to them with a cheeky offer – a further 50% off the already
reduced price. Unsurprisingly they said no. After a coffee I
went back over with a piece of paper with my phone number
and a message: “If you want to reconsider please contact me.”
Later that day I had a call from the manager accepting my
offer but with the caveat that I take them that weekend.
“Of course I can, but I need you to deliver them to me.”
They happily agreed to do so free of charge! Getting in their
head, and time and circumstance led to me now enjoying a
very nice garden set every summer at an amazing price!
Esther Shearwood
One application of negotiation knowledge has made my
life easier: you can never win an argument. Knowing this,
I simply stopped arguing and trying to convince friends
and family of my point of view. This knowledge helped me
to accept that everybody sees things differently. And as a
bonus, it gives me so much peace of mind!
Dürrin Ergün
I got a car dealership to drop the labor charges on a small,
10 minute repair job by threatening to take the mechanic,
who they had charged me an hour’s labor for, to push my
shopping trolley around the supermarket for the remaining
50 minutes.
Alistair White
Ollie (10): “Muuuuummmmmy! Can I have two pounds
for my Xbox game?” Me: “If you want pocket money, you
need to tidy your room.” Ollie: “OK, so you just need the
room to be tidy right?” Me: “Yes!” Ollie: “It’s a deal.”
The transaction happens. I wander into his room later and
it is spotless. I praise him for his amazing skills at tidying,
to which Ollie replies: “No problem! You said all you
wanted was for my room to be tidied, and it was…by the
childminder this morning.”
Angelique Bradford
I was negotiating for a car for my wife, and the salesperson
used moves of decreasing sizes to show me they were
reaching their breakpoint. When they had moved in
thousands, then hundreds, and then by £50, I was made to
believe that was it. I was not getting any more out of them.
I was impressed to see the workshop teachings brought to
life and used so effectively by a car salesperson!
Simeon Barnett
My teenage daughter asked me to negotiate her car insurance
– “Dad, you are the expert.” I went to work with the insurer
using various tactics and got the original figure reduced by 5%.
Not good enough. My daughter takes over. The role play
that followed was masterful – a teenage girl breaking down
over the phone with “£1200 is all I can afford. If I have to
pay more I won’t be able to go to university!” Five minutes of
weeping and tissues later, we have an insured car for £1200!
She has however played a dangerous game acting that out in
front of me – that tactic has been used once too often.
Gordon Hall
5

RATIONAL DECISION MAKING:
Nick Hunter experienced a moment of madness at a fine art
auction, which prompted him to investigate the psychology
behind it and how the auction industry has created an event
uniquely set up to encourage very particular patterns of behavior.
6

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
Jeune fille aux anémones sur fond violet
by Henri Matisse (left) and Te Fare (La
Maison) by Paul Gauguin (right) on
display at Christie’s Auction House
ILLUSTRATIONS: CHRIS PEROWNE PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGE
t is a bitterly cold February evening
in London. In the heart of the
prestigious London borough of
Mayfair, an audible buzz emanates
from the grand environs of Christie’s
Auction House. It is the unmistakable
sound of excitement, a low but intense hum
of hushed voices and the rustle of papers.
Inside, the auctioneer’s voice booms across
the room, and Paul Gauguin’s masterpiece,
“Te Fare (La maison)”, Lot 18 in the
“Impressionist and Modern Art Evening
Sale”, goes under the hammer.
“17 million, two hundred thousand.”
“17 million, five.”
“17 million, five, holding.”
There is a long pause and the tension in
the room, already palpable, rises further.
“Holding here at 17 million five hundred
thousand, 17.5 I have, against you both.
Here it is, last chance. Give me a signal if
you want to jump back in…”
A further bid and an appreciative round
of applause momentarily breaks the tension.
Inexplicably, ludicrously, I feel an urge
verging on a compulsion to put my hand up
and make a bid. “How amazing would it be
to own a Gauguin?”, I think to myself.
What on earth was happening? How can
this crazy urge, this illogical compulsion,
be explained? I presumably have no need to
confess that regrettably I did not have the
means to part with a cool £18m. What’s
certain is that I was in thrall to both Jussi
Pylkkänen, Christie's lead auctioneer, and
the environment around me. Gaugin’s
125-year-old oil painting went on to be sold
for £20.325m, smashing its projected upper
price of £18m. I was not the only person in
the room who felt a strong desire to keep
the bidding going.
As I later reflected on the events of
the evening, it prompted some questions.
What had happened to me in that room,
and why? What role do auction houses
play in creating an environment for a
successful auction? And what is the skill set
of auctioneers like Pylkkänen, masters of
their craft and able to persuade some of the
wealthiest individuals in the world to part
with their money – often much more than
they had originally planned?
Let’s first define our terms. An auction is
a device for facilitating trade; a sale in which
goods or property are sold to the highest
bidder. Traditionally they have been used
“I was not the
only person
in the room
who felt an
irresistible
urge to keep
the bidding
going.
7

THE BIOLOGY
B E H I N D T H E P S Y C H O L O G Y
Striatum
Prefrontal Cortex
Logical, rational and complex decisions are performed by
a part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex. Impulsive,
automatic, mostly unconscious decisions are performed
by a different part called the striatum, especially when
we feel under threat. MRI scans have shown increased
striatal activity in bidders in auction situations.
Under stress, the fight-or-flight response kicks in and our
striatum takes over. As humans, when we perceive danger
there is no time to analyze the situation, we need to react
quickly. Instead the striatum’s automatic array of choices
is put in motion and rational decision-making subsides.
The principle “First act, then think”, takes over. This
explains why in the heat of the auction humans can
stop thinking rationally and become impulsive.
In the process of bidding, the neurotransmitter dopamine
is released into the brain. Dopamine controls the reward
and pleasure centers of the brain, and so it feels good to
bid. This can lead to the feedback loop of a “dopamine
rush”: the more excited we feel, the more dopamine we
release, and the more dopamine we release, the more
excited we feel. We strive to repeat the dopaminereleasing
behavior, and bidding becomes compulsive.
to sell fine art, rare objects and their like, although our digital
age has seen eBay bringing auctions onto our computers and
phones. Indeed, many of us will have multiple experiences
of auctions. I myself have bought and sold on eBay; the sale
of my flat in London became a bidding war between three
parties; I’ve attended charity auctions where large amounts
of money are raised and overspending is justified in the name
of a good cause; and professionally I’ve been involved in
eAuctions and numerous tender processes. If we look to the
world of global business, a recent, high-profile example of
the use of an auction saw US telecoms giant Comcast make
a winning £30 billion bid for the broadcaster Sky. When one
considers that research consistently demonstrates that 72%
of auctions bring higher prices than fixed price offers for the
same object, it’s no wonder they are used so often.
I hoped that by investigating what had happened to me
and the other bidders competing to buy Gaugin’s painting,
I could build a better understanding of the psychology at play
in auction situations. I needed expert input. My first port of
call was Sarah VanStelle, director of regional learning for US
company Steelcase and a trained psychologist specializing in
organizational behavioral management. Sarah described three
distinct behavioral phenomena.
Auction Fever
In the hyped-up auction room of Christie’s, I was
experiencing a well-documented phenomenon known as
auction fever, a state of emotional arousal generated by the
rivalry, time pressure, stress, publicity and scarcity value
that often accompany an auction. This leads to competitive
behavior: for each item in an auction, there is only one
winner, the highest bidder. Everyone else loses. (As Gore
Vidal famously observed: “It is not enough to succeed.
Others must fail.”) When someone becomes the highest
bidder, they experience a positive feeling, “I am winning!”
When they are outbid, they seek to replicate that feel-good
state, and so bid again. This switch from win to loss and back
again takes place at speed, with the positive reinforcement
generating ever-stronger emotional arousal and fueling
the cycle. (For more on this, see The biology behind
the psychology in the box above.)
Social Facilitation
Humans are social animals and we learn from what others
do. Social facilitation occurs when one person’s behavior
influences another person’s behavior – colloquially referred
to as the herd mentality, or monkey see, monkey do. During
an auction, an individual’s behavior is highly visible. The
behavior of bidding is judged by the competitive bidders
in the auction and the many people present as positive
(remember the applause that greeted the bidder who broke
the hiatus at the auction I attended?). This results in social
approval – it sends a message that it is good to bid, and if
others are bidding then so should I.
The Endowment Effect
There is extensive research from the fields of psychology
and behavioral economics that suggests that people ascribe
more value to things that they own. In the context of
an auction, this endowment effect has some significant
implications. For a start, the buyer may feel a connection
with, or “ownership” of an item when they place a bid for it,
and at the time of being the high bidder they may fantasize
about already owning it – what it will look like on my wall.
This can lead to an inflated sense of the item’s value which
will result in them bidding more to win it (or not to lose
it). An everyday analogy is the tactic that car salespeople
use when they invite you to a free test drive of a car you
are considering buying; by driving the car you are already
fantasizing that you own it, so you place a higher value on
it, and the likelihood that you will conclude the purchase
becomes higher.
The high-speed nature of auctions and cyclical pattern
inherent in the bidding process can further enhance this
8

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
effect: the individual is the high bidder; they experience
a near loss when someone outbids them; they regain
“ownership” when they are once again the high bidder –
It’s mine! It’s not mine! It’s mine! – and so on. Every time
the individual is the high bidder, their perception of the value
of the item increases. And so the endowment effect builds,
the bidder becomes increasingly motivated not to lose the
item…and they keep on bidding.
The psychology was clearly a formidable factor in my
experience at Christie’s. But what role do the auction
houses themselves play?
Creating the right environment to cultivate auction fever
and social facilitation is the cornerstone of a successful
auction house’s strategy. To find out more I spoke with
Liberté Nuti, formerly of Christie’s and now International
Senior Director Impressionist & Modern at Swiss art
gallery, Hauser & Wirth. She began by explaining how
auction houses condition their audience. “They are experts
at creating a heightened atmosphere leading up to and at
the auction itself. Sales may be ticket-only to give a sense of
exclusivity, while higher profile auctions are often held in the
evening to enable more people to attend and so increase the
competition. These soirée-style occasions attract a smartly
dressed and affluent crowd. They are provided with drinks
and an opportunity to wander among the lots and mingle
with their fellow guests before the auction begins, perhaps
imagining and even discussing what it would be like to own
one of the valuable pieces.” (I could relate to that…)
Liberté went on to clarify, “Many of these attendees are
not bidding, they are simply spectators who crowd into the
room to boost an already febrile atmosphere. Some will find
themselves standing at the back – standing room only –
perhaps facilitated by the removal of a few seats. There could
even be an overflow area near to the main auction room with
a live video feed. This is for those people not yet important
enough to qualify for a place in the main auction room
“Every time the
individual is the
high bidder, their
perception of the value
of the item increases.
IT’S ALL RELATIVE
Auction houses are experts at
using the law of relativity
to their advantage.
Consider a scenario in
which there are three works
by Matisse to sell, and a
guide price given for each of
$40k. The first painting is
the most valuable with
a true value of $50k.
By setting the guide price
at $40k it will stimulate
interest by making buyers
think they can get a
bargain. With lots of
bidders this is likely to push
the auction price up higher,
let’s say in this example
to $60k.
The second painting is
accurately given a guide
price at $40k, but in
relation to the first painting
which sold for $60k, it
now looks like a bargain.
With several disappointed
bidders who now have
money burning a hole
in their pocket, there is a
very good chance that this
painting will also go well
above the guide price.
The third painting is the
least valuable of the three
– let’s say its true value is
$25k – but is now perceived
to have a greater value
relative to the previous two
paintings. Bidders will fall
into the trap of thinking
that anything near the
guide price of $40k is a
good price and may even go
over. In addition, there is
now greater pressure on the
bidders who have lost out on
two Matisses already – they
now have one last chance.
By understanding the
psychology behind auction
behavior the auction house
has secured more value for
each of the three works.
9

RECORD BREAKER
A portrait of Christ by Leonardo da Vinci
is the most expensive painting ever sold
at auction. Salvator Mundi (Saviour
of the World) fetched a record-breaking
$450 million on November 15th, 2017,
at Christie’s auction house in New York.
The figure more than doubled the existing
record for an artwork sold at auction: a
$179.4 million bid for a Picasso in 2015.
– you are almost in, but not quite.
This feeds a sense of self-importance
in those who have made it into the
main room.
“The hierarchy reaches its
zenith with the bidders who have
pre-registered their interest and
been given a numbered paddle
with which to make their bids. Their
reserved seats near the front are not
by chance. Not only does it further
massage their ego, it also allows the
audience behind them to see the
paddles going up, helping to build
social facilitation. Furthermore, it
ensures the auctioneer can make eye
contact, connect with the bidders and
get inside their heads, picking up on
the nonverbal cues that will help
them decide whether to push or not.”
We went on to discuss a very
modern challenge for the auction
houses – the buyers who are bidding
outside of the room (by phone or via
the internet) and who are somewhat
protected from this carefully cultivated
atmosphere. The auction house must
find ways to convey the excitement in
the room to their remote guests.
A bank of phones, positioned at
the front of the room to one side, is
manned by employees of the auction
house. They are experts at keeping
bidders engaged, facilitated by the
fact that the bidder can hear in the
background the excitement in the
auctioneer’s voice and the noise of
the audience.
In contrast, internet bidders may
participate via a live link-up while
comfortably seated on their couch at
home. For these buyers, the auction
houses produce a live edit of the action.
The similarities with a theatrical
production are no accident – before
the “show” commences there’s a
countdown, hush descends, the lights
are dimmed...and the auctioneer
springs into action. Multiple cameras
capture wide-angle shots of the packed
room, and close-ups zoom in on
the joy of a victorious bidder’s face,
disappointment etched on others. As
effectively as an episode of a primetime
TV thriller or Broadway show, the
drama is transmitted in real time,
making remote bidders feel like they
are in the room and generating social
facilitation and auction fever.
Finally, Liberté told me about the
importance of the order of the lots,
which is carefully thought through.
Lot 1 opens the sale, and will be well
priced, high quality, and easy to sell.
Some good value lots follow to get
people in the mood and build auction
fever. Sotheby’s for example works to a
formula of placing their best items in
the first 10% of lots. The following 60%
will be good; the rest are a mixed bag.
The law of relativity may also be
invoked. If there are multiple items by
the same artist, then the auction house
will carefully consider their order and
guide price to maximize the sale price
achieved for each (see It’s all relative
on page 9).
I now needed the final piece of
the jigsaw.
While auction houses can cultivate
a fertile environment for a successful
auction, headline-grabbing bids often
come down to the skill of the individual
auctioneer. A good auctioneer controls
the room and exudes confidence.
They know how to keep people
raising their hands, deftly using
social facilitation to their advantage.
Charlie Ross, who ran his own
auction house for over 25 years and has
conducted a wide variety of auctions
ranging from antiques and property
through to vintage cars and intellectual
property, has a unique insight into
what makes a good auctioneer. He says,
“People buy people. The skill of the
auctioneer is to build a rapport with
the audience. After all, he or she is
selling to human beings.”
“It’s also important for the
auctioneer to be reasonably transparent.
If the buyers have confidence in the
auctioneer, they will bid. If they don’t,
they might not. To connect with the
audience, humor is important – it helps
for the auction to contain an element
of fun.” The pace of the auction is also
key: “Too slow and people lose interest,
too fast and they lose track. I’ve seen
auctioneers take five minutes to raise
another $10 by which time everyone
has switched off and the audience has
gone flat. When the auction is slow,
people become more risk averse, even
fearful, and those in the room may
stop bidding, lessening the impact
of the sale.”
But as Charlie adds, “On the other
hand there are times when the right
thing to do is slow down in order
to create tension. Using silence and
PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGE
10

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
SIX TIPS FOR ENJOYING AN AUCTION
(WITHOUT BREAKING THE BANK)
Socrates Soumelas
Psychologist and negotiation consultant
It is difficult to override the powerful striatum circuitry that is responsible
for our impulsive, automatic behaviors. But this doesn’t mean that we are
completely at the mercy of our emotions and competitiveness during an
auction. Here are a few tips:
1. Set your breakpoint
Decide what it is you want to buy and what you think
it is worth before you go to the auction house. Include
all costs in your calculation, e.g. commission, delivery
and tax. Write your price down. This is your exit point,
which you decided in cold blood. You will not exceed
this price point.
2. Have the courage of your convictions
Remember, once the auction exceeds your
predetermined exit point and you stop bidding, you are
not losing. You are just following your plan. And if you
manage to follow your plan, this is you succeeding.
3. Think clearly when faced with conflict
Breathe in. Breathe out. Controlled breathing helps
you stay focused and control your emotions and, to
an extent, regulate your fight or flight response, bring
down your heart rate and breathing, and manage the
dopamine release in your bloodstream.
4. Remember that if you want to win you will pay for it
Once your competitive, emotional self lashes out and
tries to take control (and (s)he will try to take control),
repeat the above two steps. Use self-talk to try and
address your rational self. Remind yourself that you
are just following your plan.
5. If in doubt, get out
If the above doesn’t work, then leave! It doesn’t matter
if this will make you feel bad. If you pay too much to
obtain the desired object, you will regret it once the
auction high subsides and you will feel bad anyway.
So the question is: Feeling bad with money in your
pocket, or feeling bad and being broke?
6. Get expert help
Assign an experienced proxy to bid on your behalf.
Research shows that experienced/professional bidders,
while still overbidding, tend to overbid significantly
less because they experience less loss aversion than
occasional/amateur bidders.
waiting for a further bid can transmit
the message that you, the auctioneer,
are confident there is more to come
and the lot is worth more, creating
an expectation that the bidder should
continue to bid.”
To do this effectively the auctioneer
needs to “feel” the room, using eye
contact to connect with the bidders, to
get inside their heads and know when
to push and cajole. Charlie brings
this to life: “Sir, why stop at $10m?
Do you want to wake up tomorrow
morning and think ‘I might have had
this Bugatti on my driveway if only I
had placed just one more bid!’ You can
change that now Sir!” In this emotive
address, Charlie is playing on the fear
of losing, knowing that bidders often
regret the fact that they lost the object
because they stopped bidding; when
it’s gone, it’s gone.
Knowing the right way to pitch
these pronouncements doesn’t happen
by chance. Charlie emphasizes the
importance of preparation. “At big
auctions, the auctioneer will have
the details of the bidders, or dealers
operating on their behalf, and where
they are sitting in the room. Making
the individual bidders feel valued will
help them feel positive about their
experience and possibly enable them to
continue bidding. A good auctioneer is
not only numerate and knows exactly
what he or she is selling, but they must
have also carried out their research.”
Auctions and the behaviors that
they can lead to provide a fascinating
insight into human psychology. I came
away from my research feeling a sense
of humility at the basic biology that
had driven my urge to publicly bid for
a work of art that I would not, short
of a major lottery win, ever be able to
afford. I had also developed a great
respect for the skill and expertize of
those working in the auction industry,
who have created a lucrative and
exciting business.
Whether this knowledge will change
my bidding behavior in the future, in
whatever context, it’s difficult to say.
But I will neither confirm nor deny
that I was spotted entering Christie’s
London auction room on the day of
their recent Old Masters sale. It’s only
a rumor. Honest. TNS
11

LOSING
THE
THREAD
Tim Billson recounts a tale
of misadventure, mishap
and negotiation lessons on
his first trip to Africa.
Of the many reasons I love my job, there’s
one in particular that stands out: the
opportunity to work with people from
a diverse range of cultures and backgrounds,
and as part of that to understand what drives
them and their decisions. This is, for me, where
the universality of negotiation principles really
plays out. The fundamental tenets of good
negotiation practice hold true whether you’re
from Toulouse, Tokyo, Tallahassee or Tobago.
Which is why, having already delivered
negotiation projects with clients in the UK,
Europe and the Middle East, when the chance
to work for two weeks with a client in Africa
came up, I couldn’t wait. Some of the learnings
that I gained from the experience were not,
however, quite what I imagined they would be.
My journey begins in London on a sunny
spring afternoon…
12

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
FRIDAY 14:35
I walk into the Ethiopian embassy in London for the
fourth time that week. I have everything crossed that upon
my exit I will be in possession of the visa necessary to secure
my trip. Surely there won’t be yet another hoop I have to
jump through? Just a few hours later, and to my delight,
no more hoops have been presented (or at least those that
are I am able to vault through there and then), and I walk
out with my passport containing the all-important, freshly
gummed visa. That’s the hard bit over and done with, I think
to myself. I look forward to what I envisage will now be a
smooth and enjoyable trip.
MONDAY 18:00
I am standing by the door of Turkish Airlines flight
TK1980, waiting my turn to disembark. My connecting
flight is due to take off in 20 minutes and in that time I
have to navigate from one side of Atatürk Airport to the
other, in the process attempting to avoid some of the other
65 million passengers who use the 11th busiest airport in
the world each year.
I can feel the adrenaline coursing through my body and
I am gently perspiring. This is before I start to sprint across
the terminal. Weaving my way in and out of the crowds at
speed, acutely conscious of the minutes ticking by and the
immutable timetable of air travel, I experience a rush of
happiness as gate 210 comes into view. The plane is still
connected to the terminal – the only flight of the day to
Addis Ababa. My happiness is short lived. Delight turns
to despair as I watch the gangway to the plane being
locked. I have missed the flight by a matter of seconds.
My appeals to the ground staff are met with an indifferent
shrug. Suddenly the embassy issues are starting to pale into
insignificance. I sit staring out of the window like a puppy
staring at its family leaving to go on their summer vacation.
The majestic TK676 slowly undocks and rumbles inexorably
off towards the runway. My years of negotiation experience
kick in. I need the travel equivalent of a Best Alternative
to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA). I head off to make
a new plan.
TUESDAY 00:20
I am safely ensconced on a flight. We are mid-air, and I’m
gazing out of the tiny airplane window as the pilot announces
that the collection of flickering lights below is Addis Ababa.
This would be good news apart from the fact our destination
is beyond Ethiopia in Kenya. It was the closest and quickest
destination I could get a flight to.
13

07:05
A very uncomfortable night trying to sleep
on a chair in Nairobi airport is behind me and
I’m boarding another plane. Due to an admin
error I very nearly miss this plane, but that’s
a story for another day. The flight is going
to my original, intended destination. Addis
Ababa here I come. In around 10 hours I
need to greet my delegates and start the first
workshop. My mind focuses, puts the travel
mishaps of the last 24 hours into a mental
box which I have no need to analyze for the
moment, and starts to prepare for delivery
of my first negotiation workshop in Africa.
13:55
A thought occurs to me. Maybe, just maybe
I am going to get away with this. I’ve pulled
together some kit from the hotel and my client
has sent me someone from their office to help,
bringing kit with them too. If the hotel projector
will work with my laptop, I just need to finish
setting up the room, and of course pop next door
to get some more suitable clothes than the ones
I have been wearing for the past 30 hours.
My client contact agrees to come clothes
shopping with me to help overcome language
barriers and ensure I get what I need. So, I head
back to my room, collect my wallet from the hotel
safe and go to meet my chaperone with a little bit
of a spring in my step.
14:20
“There are two prices for everything
– the market price and whatever
anyone is willing to pay.
09:48
The baggage reclaim carousel stops. There are
two people standing hopefully beside it. One of
them is me. I exchange a glance with my carousel
buddy and a moment of understanding passes
between us. Out of the entire plane, we are the
two who are jinxed. Our bags haven’t made it.
I have no idea what items my fellow baggage
claimant is missing by not having his case
arrive with him on that flight. For me it’s
pretty much everything I need: suits, shirts,
shoes, workshop equipment, toiletries. My
laptop remains in my hand luggage. This is
not providing a huge amount of comfort.
Next stop, the lost baggage counter. Here
I discover my case should arrive at 16:30.
By the time it has been unloaded, passed
through to lost baggage, claimed and
brought back to the hotel, there isn’t
enough time.
11:15
During the journey from the airport to
the hotel my mind goes over all the possible
options. As I arrive I spot a menswear store next
to the hotel. The mannequins in the windows are
wearing suits. Finally, a ray of sunshine.
The hotel room door finally gives way. The
hotel handyman who has spent the last couple
of minutes kicking and charging at the door is
on the other side of it. He immediately bends
down to pick up the broken piece of the locking
mechanism that had sheared off as I entered the
room and subsequently made it impossible for
me to leave it. I step over the broken pieces and
head downstairs.
My contact is sitting in the lobby looking
annoyed. He gestures to his watch, shakes his
head and asks why if I was in such a hurry I took
so long? He introduces me to his driver and
suggests I should use the ATM in the hotel. My
first question is to gage how much money I need.
Ideally, I don’t want to be left with Ethiopian birr
at the end of my trip. We settle on an amount,
which requires three separate withdrawals from
the machine due to its limits. The next question
is, why do we need a driver when there is a store
next door? Another shake of the head. Today is a
public holiday and most shops are shut. In fact our
chances of finding anything open that is suitable
are low. I gulp. My step is not so springy now.
15:15
The neon light flashing in the doorway says
OPEN, and although the mannequins in the
window are not dressed in quite the clothing I
would normally gravitate towards, this menswear
store looks like my only hope. As we step out
of the car I take my guide to one side. The
negotiator in me wants to ensure I’m not going
to be exploited in this situation. I want him to
ensure I pay local prices and the store staff don’t
understand my desperation. He smiles to reassure
me and we enter the store. He greets an employee
14

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
with a barrage of instructions in Amharic, the
local language, and the staff leap into action
grabbing suits off the rails. Good job, I say to
my guide. What did you tell them? “That you
are desperate and need a full outfit as quickly as
possible”, he replies. The negotiator in me dies
a quick yet painful death, and I feel any power I
might ever conceivably have had leave the room.
Almost as quickly, the sales clerk produces a very
shiny light gray suit that may, or may not, be in
my size.
15:31
The changing room is a small box in the corner
of the shopfloor. It has a little hatch that allows
you to speak to the store staff yet retain your
modesty. I pull the hatch open and beckon over
my guide. “I’ve got the outfit I want” (by which
I mean it actually fits me – Ethiopia is not the
ideal shopping destination for a 6ft person), “but
nothing has prices on?” “Leave it with me”, he
assures me and strides off. I close the hatch and
start to get changed. Suddenly the background
music of the shop is broken by the sound of my
guide bursting out laughing. Wondering whether
this is a sign of good news or bad news I open my
hatch again. I am asked if I want a cup of coffee
by my guide. “I don’t have time for coffee!” I reply.
The response that comes answers my good news
or bad news question. Apparently the only thing
the store owner is prepared to offer me is a free
macchiato. I now need to find another ATM as
the 10,000 Ethiopian birr I have is not enough!
Shortly thereafter I realize my negotiation
attempts are not only not getting me anywhere,
but are now causing frustration to the store
owner. While we always want to be firm, tough
and distant in value distribution negotiations,
which this clearly was, the desire is never to be
rude. It just isn’t necessary and is often behavior
misunderstood as appropriate in these situations.
16:05
I have been to the ATM, counted out all 138
notes (the highest note amount is 100 birr), and
I am now the not-entirely-proud owner of a new
suit, shirt and shoes. It has cost me roughly £350 –
a lower amount than I would expect to pay in the
UK. But when I hear the collective sharp intake of
breath that the amount elicits from my workshop
delegates when we discuss the situation later, what
little satisfaction I had evaporates.
NEGOTIATION
LEARNINGS
OUT OF AFRICA
Despite the bruising to my negotiation ego (which has no
place here anyway), the situation provided a reminder of
the things we talk so much about.
“The more you say, the more you give away”
There was an obvious desperation to get a suit very quickly,
but keeping that knowledge away from the store owner could
have prevented another trip to the ATM. Now, we can never
say with certainty how a situation would play out in different
circumstances, but the swing in the balance of power once
that information was shared was always going
to be hard to overcome.
“Get inside the other party’s head”
By understanding the pressures in my head, particularly those
of time, the store owner was firmly in control. Maybe if I had
the opportunity again I’d try to understand why this was one
of very few stores open on the public holiday. It certainly had
no other customers. Did they need the sales? There are two
prices for everything – the market price and whatever anyone
is willing to pay. I’d like to know what someone else would
have been told the price was (or maybe I wouldn’t!).
“Don’t go beyond your breakpoint”
The truth is that the price was ultimately acceptable to me,
and given the circumstances was below my breakpoint – i.e.
the maximum in those circumstances that I would have paid.
“Open extreme”
By opening even more
extreme, that shop owner
could certainly have shut his
store a bit earlier, spent some
time with his family on a
public holiday, and still had
a profitable day. Whether
you are a store owner in
Ethiopia, or negotiating
anywhere, on anything,
remember to always value
things on your customer’s
terms, not yours. That,
for sure, is a negotiation
principle that holds true
all over the world. TNS
15

In September 2018
The Gap Partnership
launched The Negotiators,
a competition for alumni of
The Complete Skilled Negotiator
(TCSN). In the historic grounds
of Ashridge Business School just
outside London, 14 teams of highly
skilled professionals from a range
of European countries, sectors and
roles came together to negotiate
a series of five tough, commercial
negotiation cases.
The Negotiators was designed
to consolidate, embed and develop
the learning from TCSN, enabling
participants to take their negotiation
skills to a new level. Time and the
competitive nature of the event
created authentic experiences of
stress, pressure and the need to think
quickly and strategically, all under the
watchful eyes of senior leaders from
The Gap Partnership who judged
each round, as well as coaching and
mentoring the participants and
their coaches.
Teams were judged on the deals
they achieved as well as their ability
to exhibit appropriate behavior
in the preparation and during the
negotiations. The competition
culminated in a grand final in which
the two leading teams, Phillips 66
and Deutsche Post DHL, negotiated
live in front of an audience of over
a hundred participants and guests.
Under the scrutiny of the judges,
coaches and fellow competitors, the
two teams displayed a masterclass in
negotiation skills as they battled to
get the best deal in a complex sports
sponsorship case. The result could
not have been tighter, however there
could only be one winner and at the
gala dinner that evening Phillips
66 were crowned The Negotiators
Champions 2018.
As Donna Hughes, part of
the winning Phillips 66 team,
commented afterwards, “The final
offered an excellent opportunity
to practice a detailed and lengthy
negotiation with the addition of an
audience further fueling the intensity
of our journey through the learning
curve. Overall, a truly challenging yet
rewarding and enjoyable experience!”
16

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
Kelly Harborne
Head of Consumer,
UK and MEAN,
The Gap Partnership
It was a privilege to observe
our alumni putting into practice
what they had learned on the TCSN. I was struck by
the high-energy atmosphere generated by diverse teams
representing different nations, industries and organizations,
coming together to test their negotiation mettle. Some had
prepared with conference calls discussing approach, tactics,
and the plan. But some hadn’t met until the first day of the
competition! They were all determined to succeed and
I watched them throw themselves into each negotiation.
As the rounds progressed, the complexity grew and an ability
to absorb, translate and gain insight from the situations
and the parties the teams were negotiating with demanded
clear thinking and exceptional team work. The standard was
impressive – although the temptation to argue a point or
stick to the familiar problem of price rather than tackle some
of the more ambiguous opportunities available in the latter
cases was too strong for some. The final was complex and
conducted in front of a live audience, but the finalists dealt
with the pressure and performed incredibly well. What blew
me away was the opportunity exploited to its fullest by each
of the teams to refresh, try, learn and try again.
The TCSN made a big
impact on our team and we
were looking for a qualitative
session to keep our negotiation skills
in good shape. The Negotiators seemed ideal: you repeat
the theory in practice and learn from the best adversaries,
as well as from TGP coaches and judges, while having fun!
As a coach I couldn’t participate in the negotiations which
at first was really stressful. But I realized, this is just like
in real life: you don’t follow your sales managers into every
conversation and negotiation with customers. I overcame
the feeling of paralysis only because as coaches we were also
coached. We received valuable one-to-one feedback on where
we could make the difference and what moves could help the
team, and how to support the team to adopt the strategies
themselves. Getting feedback from the top negotiators at
TGP and establishing a personal relationship with them
added to the value of the event.
My eyes opened to the importance of preparation, fixing
storylines, setting breakpoints, finding variables, even
roleplaying the conversation and what our countermoves
could be. I spent too little time on this before because of the
everyday rush. By the end I was proud of how as a team we
prepared, followed the script and achieved good deals.
Now we’re back at work we’ve brought the Clockface back
into our negotiations, we take more time to prepare and
we’re closer as a team.
THE
J U D G E
Bert Vandenkendelaere
Sales and Marketing Director,
Unilin
THE
C O A C H
Patricia Serra e Moura
Crude and Heavies
Operations Lead,
Phillips 66 Limited
The Negotiators
provided a great opportunity to
step out of my comfort zone and put my learnings from The
Complete Skilled Negotiator into effect. One of my personal
highlights was working as part of a team with colleagues who
I’m not otherwise exposed to. I also really enjoyed competing
with different companies from a wide range of industries and
backgrounds. It was fascinating to see how each company
approached the challenge.
The case studies were carefully put together and
interesting to dissect. At first I thought my team would do
well but wouldn’t necessarily make it through to the final,
so when we found out we had, I felt quite confident!
My team worked so well together; we supported each other
and tried our best to stick to the course learnings. I can safely
say that the overall experience was both nerve wracking and
at the same time incredibly exciting! The fact that we won
is testament to the strength of our different skill sets and,
of course, to our coach, Richard, who did a brilliant job
of keeping us on track.
The competition has reminded me to attempt to turn
every opportunity into a negotiation. And I’m going to try
to apply that approach not just in a professional setting,
but outside work too.
Denis Mujkanovic
Corporate Sourcing
Manager Digital Services
and New Technologies,
Deutsche Post DHL
I was keen to see how other
professional negotiators use their
skills, and if we could make the cut. It was an incredible
crowd of professionals from a wide field of business - sales
leads, procurement managers, ops specialists and others.
The cases and the itinerary were so challenging that it put
you into a high alert state, which usually you would only
have in real negotiations.
After the first round we weren’t in the top three, and
in most cases we were on the seller side contradicting our
nature as procurement managers. It was challenging to be
outside our comfort zone and not fall into the trap of starting
a sales pitch. We focused on good preparation and teamwork.
We used every minute of the prep time to define the desired
outcome and the steps we needed to take to get there, and
we prepared offers on flip charts to own the room. Our coach
kept us focused and we tried to stick rigorously to the roles
to gain as much leverage as possible.
The final was tense, challenging and fun! Even though we
only just missed out on first place, it was a great experience
that we all enjoyed. Back at work I’m more aware of the
big effects small things can have in weakening your own
position, like soft language. Definitely a good reminder!
W
THE
I N N E R
THE
R U N N E R
U P
17

K E I N E
H A L B E N
SACHEN
( O R , T O N O N - G E R M A N S P E A K E R S ,
NO HALF MEASURES)
Diana Jusepeitis’ talent and drive have seen her progress to heading up sales
for TGP in Germany. In a frank interview with Alistair White, she discusses
her journey, and how her personal philosophy shapes the way she lives her life.
Pride. Just think about that word for a minute, and
what it means to you, because you are going to read
it a few more times in this article.
I have been at The Gap Partnership for almost fifteen
of its twenty-one-year existence, and in that time I have seen
younger people join the business with many of them going
on to progress through the ranks, moving up into senior
leadership positions as we expand both geographically and
open up new sectors and customers. I take genuine pride in
the fact that our company offers people the opportunity to
grow, develop, achieve and flourish in ways they might not
have done elsewhere.
Diana Jusepeitis is as good an example of this as anyone
else in our business, with an ascent through the ranks both
rapid and well deserved. She joined TGP in 2013 as a client
manager, but within a year had progressed to head of
client management and operations. It wasn’t long before
she made the leap to become a negotiation consultant in
2016. Then just a year later Diana was appointed to the
position of head of sales for the DACH region (Germany,
Austria and Switzerland).
When we Skype to conduct our interview, Diana is
reclining on a couch in her Wuppertal apartment, cup of
herbal tea in hand and with her feet resting on a footstool
as the sun shines brightly through her living room window.
Hardly the image that springs to mind when you think of
her steep career path since joining The Gap Partnership, and
certainly at odds with the Diana dressed in business attire who I
had seen at the photoshoot to accompany this article just a week
before. That is because Diana is embarking on another, much
18

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
“I need to feel committed to anything I do,
I need to want to do the best job I can, whether
that is a negotiation consultant, a colleague,
a mother or even if I am just doing the dishes.
19

more important, adventure. She is three days into her maternity
leave, as she and her husband Daniel are imminently expecting
their first child.
I have a list of questions but Diana beats me to the punch.
“Before we start, Alistair, let me just tell you how pleased and
proud I am to be selected as the featured employee for the
alumni magazine.” There’s that word again.
Is the new role as head of sales an ambition fulfilled? “Yes,
no question. When I was still at school, I always knew that I
wanted to do something with languages and communication.
I grew up in a bilingual household with a German father
and a Dutch mother and I always felt that this gave me an
advantage that I would be foolish to ignore. So I studied
International Business and Languages at Arnheim Business
School and then joined confectionery company, Royal Fassin,
as an account manager.”
“I loved it there and I thought that consumer sales was to
be my future. But then at some point I didn’t feel challenged
any more so I started looking around. I was approached by a
recruiter who talked to me about a position as client manager
with The Gap Partnership, but initially I rejected the idea.
I thought it was a sideways move at best, and would take me
away from consumer.”
“Then the recruiter rang back and he talked with such
enthusiasm about the company that I thought it was worth
a second thought. Two things he said in particular stuck in
my head. He said that they were all hard working, and that
is something that is important to me. I don’t know if it is the
German in me but I need to be in an environment where
effort is valued and meeting a challenge is rewarded. And he
also spoke of the pride, passion and commitment the people
felt about what they do.”
“That rang bells in my head. One of my mottos in life
is keine halben Sachen – no half measures. I need to feel
committed to anything I do, I need to want to do the best
job I can, whether that is a negotiation consultant, a
colleague, a mother or even if I am just doing the dishes –
keine halben Sachen. If I am going to represent, or even
sell something, I need to believe in it, I need to be proud
of what I sell, it’s personal.”
Diana pauses and takes a sip of her tea. Would she
describe herself as conscientious? She looks at me as if I
have just asked her if it is dry in the Sahara. “Oh my God,
yes. That’s an understatement, I worry about everything.
I have lots of checklists. I suppose I am a German stereotype
– organized, punctual, tidy, on top of everything. I set myself
such high standards. Daniel tells me I should chill out more
but that is just who I am. If I had nothing to worry about,
I would be really worried.”
Did she worry about making the leap from client
manager to consultant and then to head of sales? “Sure
I did. I remember conducting a coaching session with a
client in my first couple of months and thinking to myself,
‘I am advising a client on a €200m deal.’ That was…”, she
hesitates, “…sobering.”
“And then I just took confidence from the fact that every
single one of my colleagues has been in exactly the same
situation for the first time and I just trusted the tools and
processes we have at our disposal and my own ability.”
Diana has spent all of her TGP career in a customerfacing
role. I asked her whether she was at all concerned
about going back to those same customers she had served
as a client manager in her new role as head of sales? “I think
anyone would be conscious of that – I am only human and
we all have little insecurities, no matter how experienced we
are. But the reaction from clients has been overwhelmingly
positive. I was surprised by how many clients commented
positively that The Gap Partnership had appointed a
woman to that role. Most of my colleagues are male and
I hadn’t really thought about it but a number of clients
pointed it out.”
“But I wouldn’t like to think that I was appointed because
I am a woman. I am proud of what I have achieved and it is
really important to me to believe that I have achieved that on
merit, not because of my gender.”
At this point I become acutely conscious that I am a 58-
year-old Irish male, interviewing a German-Dutch female,
easily young enough to be my daughter. Not what you would
describe as demographic soulmates, at least on paper. Tread
carefully, I tell myself, you could get yourself into trouble here
– but I decide to plunge in anyway. “Is career progression
20

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
more difficult for a woman?” Diana reflects for a moment,
“At The Gap Partnership or in general?” “Both”, I respond.
“Well, I have never been a man so I cannot make a direct
comparison. But, at no point have I ever felt that being a
woman at The Gap Partnership has held me back. In fact it
has probably been an advantage in that, just by my gender,
I stand out from most
of my peers. I have a
point of difference.
I believe in equality
of opportunity but
I don’t believe that
women should aim
to be the same as
men. We can be
equal and different,
not the same. We
each bring qualities to the table. I think women tend to have
less ego which can be a huge advantage in negotiation. I
remember my days in consumer sales – a lot of the buyers I
dealt with were men.” Diana smiles, “as long as they thought
they had ‘won’ in a negotiation, I usually got a good result.”
“Men probably have more natural confidence than
women. But, you know what, it is less about the gender and
more about the individual, there are confident women and
less confident men, emotionally intelligent men and women
with none. It’s like negotiation, we negotiate with a person,
not a stereotype.”
Speaking of gender, I ask if she and Daniel know whether
they are having a girl or a boy. She does know and she does
tell me, but I am going to keep that to myself. By the time
you read this Diana will be a mother so, if you want to know,
call the Düsseldorf office and ask.
How has impending motherhood affected her attitude
to work? “It has made me revisit priorities in life. But, in
this period between
leaving work and
“I don’t know if it is the German
in me but I need to be in an
environment where effort is valued
and meeting a challenge is rewarded.
the baby’s arrival,
I am still thinking
about doing the best
handover I can do.
I don’t want to let
anyone down. And
it is really, really
difficult for me to
come to terms with
the realization that I will not be needed for the next year or
so. But, once the baby arrives, I imagine that all my focus will
be on him or her. I will certainly be needed then!”
“I am not thinking about my career after the baby for the
time being. Strangely for me, it is the one thing I don’t worry
about. I don’t know what it feels like to be a mum, so I can’t
make decisions about what I’ll do when I am one. All I do
know is that however things turn out, there will be keine
halben Sachen.”
As she says this, Diana laughs, as if poking fun at herself. But
she’s right. Whether her focus is on her family, her colleagues, or
her customers, I know one thing. She will do them proud. TNS
21

22
Negotiation tactics are an inescapable part of negotiation.
Chris Atkins explains the role that they play, and how to
defend yourself against the most commonly used.

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
round 2,500 years ago, Chinese military
strategist Sun Tzu wrote The Art of War. In it,
he famously said, “Strategy without tactics is
the slowest route to victory. Tactics without
strategy is the noise before defeat.”
Perhaps this is why tactics, particularly in negotiation, are
so often viewed as the poor relation to strategy. Strategy is
seen as the realm of the intellectual, the cerebral, the forward
thinker. It represents your long term vision and your route
to achieving it. Without strategy, you are certain to lose. No
skilled negotiator would take a seat at the negotiation table
without a clear, well-thought-out strategy in place.
But here’s the thing. Once at the table, as the general’s
words suggest, the smartest and most beautifully planned
strategy will be hampered if not accompanied by carefully
selected and well executed tactics. And it’s precisely because
tactics oil the wheels of strategy and facilitate its success, that
understanding them – what they are, when they are used on
you, when you may consider using them yourself – is a vital
component in successful negotiation.
So how to differentiate negotiation tactics from
negotiation strategy? Tactics are concrete, short term,
behavioral, and personal. They are used to unsettle, create an
emotional state and encourage irrational decision making. As
such, the primary defense to all tactics is to recognize that
they are merely examples of your counterparty doing their
job. They may sometimes be clumsy, but they are not in fact
personal, unless you make them so by reacting. Experienced
negotiators learn to sit back, say to themselves (or perhaps
their counterparty) “I can see what you did there”, and
construct their response in an unemotional way.
The decision as to which tactics are deployed is of course
down to the individual negotiator. Their choice will be
influenced by their own personal set of ethics and values,
together with those of their organization. It may also depend
on the negotiation circumstances and the trust between the
two parties – indeed it can take years to build trust levels
between two companies, but mere seconds to destroy that
trust through the inappropriate use of a negotiating tactic.
“The smartest and
most beautifully planned
strategy will be hampered
if not accompanied by
carefully selected and
well executed tactics.
Given this, it is prudent to bear in mind two principles
when weighing up if, how and when to use tactics in a
negotiation. Firstly, no combination of tactics will be
effective in the absence of structured planning and controlled
execution. Secondly, the more any tactic is employed, the
less effective it becomes. If your counterparty continually
uses recognizable tactics you will become more adept at
counteracting them, and you should take confidence from the
fact that you are better planned and structured than they are.
In Steve Gates’ The Negotiation Book, over forty
negotiation tactics are listed, and undoubtedly there are
more. Let’s take a look at a selection of the most commonly
used, along with ways in which each can be counteracted.
23

THE BROKEN RECORD
Negotiators will often repeat the same
demand again and again in an attempt
to wear you down – those with young
children will recognize this tactic!
Defense
Either state clearly, and repeatedly, that
the demand cannot be accepted at all,
or outline the conditions under which
you could agree to all, or part of,
the demand.
THE PROFESSIONAL
FLINCH
Many people are startled into making
concessions by the extreme nature of an
individual’s rejection of their proposal.
Defense
This kind of rejection is often planned
and rehearsed. Tell yourself in advance
to expect it. If you are ready for it, you
will be less unsettled. Remind yourself
that rejection is part of negotiation.
DEADLINES
The imposition of a time constraint,
whether real or invented, is frequently
designed to pressurize you into
an agreement.
Defense
Suggest that you will need more time
to work out a favorable deal – that
often uncovers whether the time
constraint is real or not. Ask why the
time constraint exists and what the
consequences would be of exceeding it.
If the time constraint is real, you will
often find that it is your counterparty
who is under pressure and not you.
BUILDING BLOCKS
Experienced negotiators generally know what their
counterparty wants. Increased volume, longer contracts,
enhanced credit terms or improved guarantees are just
some examples. They will often start with a lower volume
or a minimal credit period and negotiate hard for the best
terms. Once those have been achieved, they will then start
to add in different building blocks – e.g. higher volume,
better credit terms – in order to improve the deal.
Defense
Outline your requirements first before your counterparty
mentions them and state the terms you would offer if these
conditions are met. Make a clear plan in advance of the terms
you would offer for differing volumes or contract lengths and
do not deviate from this.
GOOD GUY, BAD GUY
This tactic has been brought into public consciousness
through many a TV police drama where it is used as a
technique to interrogate suspects. Essentially, you are
confronted with two negotiators, one of whom makes
unreasonable demands, only to give way to their colleague
who makes less unreasonable demands in the hope that, by
comparison, you will find them more acceptable and agree.
Defense
The key thing to remember is that the “good guy” wants exactly
the same things as the “bad guy”, they are just going about it
differently. Examine each proposal or demand in isolation,
don’t fall into the trap of comparing the two and evaluating one
proposal in relation to another. To defuse the “bad guy”, you
could agree to their demands, on the condition that they accept
an equally unreasonable demand of yours.
ILLUSTRATIONS: NICK BATEMAN
24

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
THE SOCIAL SMELL
The inference that you are somehow not conforming to an
accepted code of practice within your industry or that you
are acting in a way that sets you apart from your competitors
can be a powerful argument.
Defense
Others in your company may well have worked for
competitors in the past and may be able to confirm or refute
what is standard industry practice. Seek out others’ advice
on what constitutes accepted practice. There may be an
opportunity to challenge your counterparty on another issue
where they have refused to accept one of your conditions on
the grounds that it, too, is customary within your industry.
THE MOCK SHOCK
Sometimes individuals will threaten disproportionately
serious consequences – such as significant loss of business
or a refusal to supply – if demands are not met.
Defense
Often the person making the threat is not empowered –
or even willing – to implement the threat, but you cannot
afford to back them into a corner and call their bluff.
Neither should you continue to discuss only the subject
of the individual’s demand. Instead, stay calm and make
a proposal which includes issues other than just what your
counterparty is demanding and/or conditions under which
you could accept some or all of the demand.
THE PERSONAL FAVOR
People negotiate with people and they
build relationships with each other.
This is normal and often enhances
the business relationship. Sometimes
negotiators try to exploit this by
phrasing some demands as personal
favors. Many individuals (especially
salespeople) find this hard to resist for
fear of damaging their relationship.
Defense
The reality is that this is not a personal
favor, it is a business favor. You have
every right to refuse it, as your first
loyalty is to your employer. By asking
for a personal favor in return you can
test the strength of the relationship.
DEFENSE IN DEPTH
You think you have an agreement until
your counterparty calls you and tells
you that their boss cannot agree unless
you make a further concession. To get
the deal done, you agree, only for them
to call back two days later to tell you
that now the boss is insisting that you
make more concessions. And so on…
Defense
Always clarify in advance whether
your counterparty will have to refer
the deal elsewhere before it can be
agreed. Know who the ultimate
decision-maker is. Suggest that your
counterparty invite the higher
authority to subsequent meetings.
ONE MORE THING
Towards the end of a negotiation, when
you know that a deal is within touching
distance, you can be vulnerable to this
tactic. Armed with this knowledge,
individuals often deliberately try to
obtain a final concession in the closing
stages of negotiation.
Defense
Agree an agenda at the start of
negotiations. This should define all
of the issues you need to agree and
will prevent any non-agenda items
being introduced at a late stage.
Rather than simply conceding,
try to secure a reciprocal concession
of your own.
25

ASK ALISTAIR
Negotiation expert Alistair White returns
to answer questions from our alumni.
Q: When negotiating with a key and
strategically important customer,
which is however margin
diluting for me, what is the
key differentiator between
approaching the negotiation
with them in a competitive
or collaborative manner?
Julian Crane, Sales Director
UK & Ireland, Henkel
A: Whenever I get these
questions I always read them
two or three times because
the clue to the answer is often
contained in the wording of the
question. This is a “strategically
important” customer which is, however,
“margin diluting”. I can only conclude
that the customer is offering you
something – probably a high level of
sales or volume – which makes them
strategically important even if you are
making lower margins. As obvious
as it may sound, the solution to your
dilemma lies in an analysis – and a
manipulation – of the factors which
determine your Clockface position.
But we’ll get to that
in a moment.
To answer your
question, I will
throw it back to
you – what does
your instinct tell
you? That is
usually a pretty
strong indicator.
Now consider
the things which
influence your
position on the Clockface. Dependency.
How much do you need this customer?
How easy would they be to replace?
Longevity. Is this a long term
relationship? Do you envisage repeat
business? Requirement for trust. Do
you need to be transparent about your
respective motives? Do you need to
share information? Complexity. How
many variables are in play? How easily
can you expand the agenda?
If you answer “yes” to these questions,
it would be appropriate to pursue a
collaborative strategy.
Now, go back to your instinctive
reaction. If your instinct was to be
collaborative, then all is good.
If, however, your instinct was to be
competitive, then you need to think
“If you do not hold the balance of
power, then a more collaborative
strategy is the sensible choice.
a bit harder. If you believe that you
hold the balance of power, then you
can conduct a more competitive
negotiation within a collaborative
relationship but, if you force through
your agenda, you will need to repair the
damage to your relationship. If you do
not hold the balance of power, then a
more collaborative strategy is the more
sensible choice. No one said it was
going to be easy.
Q: I want the negotiation to be
warm and collaborative, but they are
behaving coldly and competitively.
What should I do?
Anonymous
A: Let’s dissect your question.
You want the negotiation to
be collaborative; they want it
to be competitive. Now think
back to the Clockface model.
Of the four determining
factors – dependency, longevity,
complexity and requirement
for trust – the simplest one
to manipulate tactically in the
short term is complexity. If you can
broaden the agenda to incorporate
more variables, this creates more
trading options and enables a more
collaborative “give and take” process.
Your counterparty will be behaving
competitively for one of two reasons.
Either they understand negotiation and
are deliberately acting this way because
they believe they hold the balance of
power. In this case, you will have to
fight harder to broaden the agenda and
make it plain that
they have a greater
chance of getting
what they want by
offering you some
of what you want.
Or, they do not have
a very sophisticated
understanding of
negotiation and think
the only way to get
what they want is
to bang the table.
If you can educate them, by a series of
proposals, into understanding that there
is another, more collaborative way, they
will quickly come around to it.
If you have a question for Alistair and
would like it to be considered for our
next issue, please email it to
alumni@thegappartnership.com
26

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
Tricks of my Trade
This edition’s TGP consultant in the hot seat is Chris
McNally from the UK & MEAN team. We asked Chris to
talk us through his extensive commercial experience, and
how it has shaped the way he approaches negotiation.
The Negotiation Society: What did you do before
becoming a negotiation consultant?
Chris: Quite a bit! I began in customer relationships;
talking to people is a core skill and I’ve never been
accused of being shy! Perhaps unsurprisingly, I then
moved into sales. As a firm believer that you should
work for a business you’re passionate about, I went
to Red Bull and worked in a whole variety of
commercial roles. What struck me was my immersion
in the business – all salespeople went to the Red Bull
Academy and there wasn’t an element of the strategy
and product we didn’t know.
TNS: What’s that got to do with negotiation?
Chris: By having a complete understanding of your
business and your customer’s, the balance of power
shifts in your direction. You spot opportunities and
synergies, identify new variables and create lowcost/high-value
proposals. Your ability to move the
negotiation in your preferred direction and take
control of it increases exponentially.
TNS: Why did you move on?
Chris: I was ready for a new challenge. I joined Lactalis,
the world’s biggest dairy company with a stable of
brands as well as an own brand offering.
TNS: Was the negotiation process different?
Chris: Very! It was a culture shock and forced me to
adopt a more integrated approach. I learned to use a
stronger arm on own brand than brand – a competitive
right-hand Clockface position. My approach flexed
from meeting to meeting, retailer to retailer. Plus I was
not just negotiating with the buyers, but also internally
with my own quality, finance and supply chain teams.
TNS: What was the most important thing it taught
you about negotiation?
Chris: The importance of team roles. Only have one
leader, one figures person, one observer and one
spokesperson. Don’t jump into a role that’s not yours,
promise the world and leave it to the rest of the team
to pick up the pieces.
TNS: What was the next stage of your career journey?
Chris: I wanted to progress, in seniority and sector.
I was offered a role at Coty and landed in another
totally different proposition – non-food, 1,000 SKUs,
and 98% of them I’d never use!
TNS: Was there a credibility issue negotiating for
brands that you didn’t experience as the end user?
Chris: I preempted it by saying “I don’t use this
product…” But I was passionate about the brands.
For example, Rimmel and the “London Look”
campaign inspired me. I didn’t need to wear make
up to become a brand advocate. Then we went
through a huge acquisition, with Coty buying fragrance,
cosmetics and hair care from P&G. Negotiations
became far more challenging with an expectation
of better terms and more investment.
TNS: How did you manage this new, more
challenging negotiation landscape?
Chris: My experience from my previous
roles was invaluable. I was also sent on
The Complete Skilled Negotiator which
resulted in many lightbulb moments.
Breakpoints was a mindset shift – focusing
on their walkaway point, not ours. “If you,
then we” was another game-changer.
And to stop giving stuff away for free!
It tapped into my passion for negotiation
and coaching and inspired me to want to
take people through this journey.
TNS: Any final thoughts?
Chris: My career has been about
being uncomfortable, pushing
myself into industries I didn’t
know and product mixes I
didn’t use. But discomfort,
stretch and challenge gets
you the greatest reward.
Negotiation is the same.
Get used to being
uncomfortable, and you
will get the best results.
27

KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE
AND WHAT YOU
REALLY WANT
Dr Sarah Federman asks how we can truly know what we want from
our negotiations if we don’t first take a long, hard look at what we have.
During my first semester at
the University of Baltimore,
I taught masters students
negotiation strategies I
had learned from Harvard Business
School and my decade-long career in
advertising. They enjoyed the lectures,
discussions, and simulations.
During one-to-ones and after
reading reflection papers, however,
I started to rethink the course.
The financial precarity of many of
their lives concerned me. What good
is it to help people save $5,000 on a
car if they don’t have a retirement
account or any savings?
A deaf student who worked in
construction had no health insurance,
meaning one broken leg would eat up
anything saved in a car negotiation.
Students didn’t understand that school
loans must be repaid even in the event
of personal bankruptcy. Knowing many
students had taken on loans to be in
my classes, I felt a responsibility to
help free them from debt.
TAKING STOCK AS PREPARATION
I redesigned the course. Now early
on, we talk about building a strong
financial ship. Students figure out
their net worth, calculating their credit
card debt and home loans and looking
at their retirement plan and health
coverage. A financial advisor speaks to
the class about financial basics, such as
the difference between a fiduciary and
a stockbroker, the former required by
law to make decisions which serve the
client before themselves. This should
be the first step in any negotiation class.
You have to first know what you have.
This personal financial component
had immediate results. One student
turned down a job promising her an
easier commute and more vacation.
But the salary was not sufficient to pay
off her school loans and cover monthly
expenses. She said learning about the
loans helped her make this decision.
Preparation is in every negotiation
book or seminar. By “preparation”, the
experts mean working out what you
are willing to pay, your alternatives
and your counterpart’s interests and
alternatives. What many neglect to
discuss is how you know. You need
to know where you are and where
you are going, and it’s just as true
for companies. When salespeople
understand their company’s operating
costs, they can feel more confident
negotiating with potential customers.
Negotiating helps you cover your
costs while securing money for your
future. So, how do you know
your future?
KNOWING WHAT YOU
REALLY WANT
The course now adds a second
component rarely addressed deeply in
negotiation classes. Students spend
time clarifying not only what they
want, but why they want it.
They consider how the object or
resource will contribute to their lives.
28

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
Unless grounded in what matters most
to us, we can become caught up in egobased
negotiations in which we try
to capture more of whatever is on the
table, whether or not we really want it.
William Ury’s book, Getting to Yes
with Yourself, discusses the importance
of introspection. Decades of helping
people acquire what they thought they
wanted, only to find they were still
not happy, inspired the book. Ury now
urges political leaders, business owners
and individuals to stop and think about
what fulfills them.
Students often tell me
they need more help figuring
out exactly what they want.
My advertising career helped
me understand how marketers
tell people what they should
want. Few are totally immune
to the influence of marketing,
but we can interrogate
its messaging.
People receive more
marketing messages to acquire
something new than to pay
off their debt. Experian estimated
in 2018 that the average American
carries $6,375 in credit card debt, up
3% from the previous year. With a
national average of 17% interest, many
can barely pay off the monthly interest.
Advertising encourages consumers to
believe that buying more is worth it.
One student described the
consumption trap: “I spent my money
buying fancy things to impress my
friends, but became annoyed when
they didn’t seem impressed. Eventually,
I cleaned it all out and started taking
care of myself.”
It might be a shock to accept that
our “wants” may not be our own.
How do we know if what we want
came from ourselves or was planted
in our minds by advertisers, parents,
colleagues, or even a business
competitor? In class we do some of the
difficult work of disentangling that.
I remind students of psychoanalyst
Carl Jung’s observation, “Nothing has
a stronger influence psychologically
on their environment and especially on
their children than the unlived life of
the parent.”
Yes, we go deep. But by thinking
critically about what influences us, we
have a better chance of being fulfilled
when we succeed.
“It might be a shock to
accept that our ‘wants’
may not be our own.
Now, students write an essay about
what they want and why they want it.
They consider and refine their goals
throughout the semester, culminating
in the final assignment – a “Come As
You Will Be” party. Students arrive as
they will be in five years, dressing up
and bringing props like business cards,
book covers and wedding rings.
They stay in character and ask each
other questions about their personal
and professional lives. Students
have created fascinating consulting
companies, talked about improved
health and shared funny stories about
their children, partner and homes.
The goal is to be as convincing
as possible.
This celebratory event can be
challenging because it puts everyone
into the driver’s seat of their own lives
and disrupts the unconscious chasing of
something “out there” that will increase
their happiness.
The same strategies are useful in
business. Organizations need to know
who they are and what matters most
to them. “Money” as a single goal is
insufficient to inspire the best from
employees. This is why companies
invest in quality mission statements.
Salad shop Sweetgreen’s mission is
to “inspire healthier communities
by connecting people to
real food.” Patagonia, an
outdoor equipment and
clothing company, wants
to “build the best product,
cause no unnecessary harm,
use business to inspire and
implement solutions to the
environmental crisis.”
These are big aspirations
to inspire employees at all
levels to endure the occasional
drudgery of their day-to-day. Being
wealthy and number one are not the
primary goal.
Without being grounded in a deep
knowing of who they are and what
they want, businesses may mindlessly
pursue the competitor’s clients and
miss untapped markets. A sole focus
on beating the competitor can likewise
distract from creating innovative
solutions, so companies become
knock-offs of one another.
A simple sailing metaphor can
get negotiators on the right track.
Know the status of your vessel
and be clear about the destination.
Then, use negotiation tactics to
move you swiftly along your way. TNS
29

Get comfortable
with being uncomfortable.
They are arguably the most uncomfortable negotiations you
will undertake in your career, as Angelique Bradford reports.
Having worked as a recruitment
consultant for over 15 years,
I have seen countless job
candidates and employees negotiate the
three negotiation “biggies”: job offers,
counter offers, and the ultimate internal
negotiation, asking for a pay increase.
As a result I’ve borne witness to the
“It’s worth putting some
considered and mindful
thought into how to manage
this all-important first step.
whole gamut of negotiation behaviors,
from bartering and hard bargaining to
the more thoughtful, collaborative style.
I have chosen that word, thoughtful,
carefully: the average worker spends
the majority of their time at work,
meaning they spend more time with
colleagues than at home with their
nearest and dearest. It follows that they
should take this into account when
choosing how they approach these
conversations. After all, these are three
of the most important negotiations that
a prospective candidate will undertake.
They could make the difference to
whether you get an upgrade on your
car, extension on your house, go on that
dream vacation… You get the picture.
For starters, the job offer on so
many occasions, is downplayed as just
a simple transaction at the end of a
journey of interviews. The reality is
that this next step for both employer
and employee could be life-changing –
adding tangible value to the employer’s
business, improving the employee’s
financial circumstances, creating new
teams that result in a happier and more
productive workplace. The employer
has a candidate
that is going to
make a difference
to the business; the
candidate has a job
that is going to make
a difference to their
lives. This is why
it’s worth putting
some considered and
mindful thought
into how to manage
this all-important
first step in an appropriate way that
not only builds trust from the outset,
but is also more likely to secure the
preferred outcome.
Let’s take a look at best practice
negotiation approaches for these
three big recruitment events.
The Job Offer
Look at this negotiation as if you were
in a new relationship. You’ve been on
a few dates and had a good time.
You really like this person, and all the
signs are that this person likes you.
You both decide you are going to make
it official, be that moving in together
or announcing to the world you are
in love. At this point you decide this
is the perfect time to tell them your
name is not John, it’s Bert…oh, and
you have a family. Imagine the surprise
on their face! This is exactly the same
look of surprise an employer has when
a candidate states that they want a lot
more money and more benefits than
were originally discussed at the start
of the journey. They wonder why this
wasn’t mentioned at the start, and
doubt starts to arise in their mind.
If the candidate has not come clean
about this at the beginning, what else
is yet to be revealed?
I have come across this countless
times over the years and have watched
the employer go through various
emotions from doubt, to anger, to the
killer blow – not interested.
How to avoid this undesirable
situation? When a candidate starts
their search for a new role, they should
sit down and look at all the variables
before interviewing. What is
a reasonable salary increase? What is
the going market rate for their skill set?
(We would all love to be earning
a million a year; however it will
significantly narrow the search!)
What benefits are essential and
desirable? E.g. commute time,
working from home, private
healthcare. What is of high value?
What are they less concerned about?
Then they should analyze their gives
and takes and set their breakpoint.
From that, the negotiation can
commence with their future employer.
There will always be room to negotiate,
but starting the journey in an
appropriate and relationship-building
way – collaborative not competitive –
provides more room and more
chance of securing a good outcome.
30

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
The Counter Offer
From Your Current
Employer
So you have found an exciting
relationship and you can’t wait to
embark on the new journey. You then
have to go back to your old relationship
and tell them that you’re moving on,
possibly using the classic breakup line
“it’s not you, it’s me”. This is when they
decide that they simply can’t afford to
lose you and throw everything at you –
money, vacation, flexible working hours
and more. You feel flattered and begin
to consider their offer. This is the point
to stop and think. Why did you start
looking in the first place? If it was just
money, then you should have asked the
question of them before. Why didn’t
they see your value before you said you
were leaving? If it’s because you don’t
like the environment, the job itself,
the commute etc. – then arguably yes
you will have more money but those
issues will still be there in six months
time. The worst feeling in the world
would be for you to look back and
realize you let the other one get away.
The Internal
Negotiation – Asking
For A Pay Rise
You’ve seen the marketplace change
and have noticed salaries being
advertised with other companies. It’s
the same job as yours but with more
money. You love your job and you love
the company and don’t want to move
on. But the cost of living has increased
and you want more money, and now
you have proof that you are worth
more than you’re currently being paid.
In the past I have seen people come
at this negotiation as if it were hard
bargaining, because they are inside their
own heads worrying that if they ask
it will ruin the relationship; counterintuitively
this causes them to come in
aggressively – “if I don’t get xyz then
I am leaving!” This approach never ends
well, and in fact all that happens
is you are now a flight risk, so what
you were worrying about is happening.
However, if you look at this as a
collaborative negotiation making sure
you have all the facts and figures behind
you then you can open the negotiation
with “Why?” It always helps when
arranging that meeting with your line
manager to let them know what it is
about. This will allow them to look
at it if they can. Get inside their head.
They will now be worrying about
losing you! TNS
31

10
REMINDERS
If you are reading this magazine then it’s probably safe to assume that you are a
highly capable professional, most probably well-rehearsed in the art and science
of negotiation. But even the most practiced negotiators can sometimes miss the
fundamentals of negotiation when busy or stressed. As a refresher, we have compiled
the ten most common oversights when it comes to planning for negotiation.
1
FAILURE TO SET, OR
ALIGN OBJECTIVES
The first question we ask at the
beginning of any engagement. What
are your objectives for this negotiation?
What does good look like and, more
important, what’s a bad deal that
we need to walk away from? If the
negotiating team do not understand
the parameters of negotiation, they
are likely to fail.
2
COMPETING PRIORITIES OR
STAKEHOLDERS
Often, we find that different internal
influencers of the negotiation will have
competing views of what is the priority
outcome. These rarely surface at the
commencement of the negotiation itself
but can materialize as the negotiation
unfolds. The result is that priorities are
defined in the high-stress environment
mid-negotiation, when no one has time
to properly consider all eventualities.
At this point the loudest voice often
takes precedence.
3 MISINTERPRETATION OF RISK 5
We all see risk in different ways; our
perception is very different. We can, as
a result, find ourselves reacting to low
risk or low importance issues, while
allowing higher impact subjects to
drift. Review of all potential risks using
objective criteria will allow greater
emphasis on critical points and enable
us to plan the risk mitigation as part of
our negotiations.
4 COMMUNICATION FAILURES 6
Negotiations can be derailed purely
due to poor communication. Internally,
with high value negotiations, sponsors
and stakeholders can lose their nerve if
they are not kept appraised of progress.
Externally, we have to be very careful
about what our communications –
especially emails – are saying.
We spend a great deal of time crafting
communications with our clients
and interpreting the meaning behind
incoming messages which, when
reviewed with objective eyes, can be
understood in very different ways.
UNREALISTIC TIMETABLES
This is the single biggest negotiation
of the year, but we are pushing to
conclude it by month end/year end/
boss’s birthday. It is shocking to see
the concessions that are made merely
in order to meet a timetable. Consider
this, on a three year deal, would it not
be better to spend another two weeks
if it will have a material effect on
the outcome?
ESCALATION
It is vital to understand the escalation
path of a negotiation; when to bring
the senior player into the mix and
when it is better for them to stay out.
It is a truism that the more junior the
negotiator, the more likely they are
to say no. The more senior, the more
likely that they will say yes. Your skilled
counterparty will work to override the
formal negotiation paths in order to
achieve greater concessions, so this
needs to be planned for.
32

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
7
POWER
In most of the work that we take on
our second discussion is about the
real power between the two parties.
It is usually misperceived, either it
is under-valued or over-assessed.
Both of these can lead to dangerous
judgments in negotiation. Simply put,
power gives you choices and time spent
understanding and influencing the
power balance is always time well spent.
8
TEAM ALIGNMENT
A strong leader is always an asset, but
strong leadership requires humility
and the ability to listen. Often the
success or failure of a negotiation sits
with relatively junior members of the
team. If they are unsure or unconvinced
about the negotiation plan then they
will not be able to negotiate with
confidence. Failure to listen to the
fears of the team could mean that a
predictable danger is overlooked,
with disastrous results.
9
MOVING GOALPOSTS
Trust. Vital if the negotiating team are
to be successful. We often see leaders
setting breakpoints or goals which
are deliberately unrealistic in order
to ensure that their team does not go
soft or give everything away. It is souldestroying
for the negotiation team to
fight for the targets that they have been
set, only for their leader to step in and
break their own breakpoints.
10
“I’VE ALWAYS DONE IT
THIS WAY”
No two negotiations are the same.
No two counterparties think the
same way. Your logic does not have
to correspond to their logic. It is
vital to the success of the negotiation
that we consider all possibilities and
conclusions, understand the commercial
environment and the organization or
people with whom we are negotiating,
then modify our style to optimize
results. Unfortunately, not everyone is
prepared to make those concessions.
All of these issues can be
solved or avoided by stepping
back and taking stock before the
negotiation commences. We hope
that, with these reminders, some
of these common errors will be
avoided in your next negotiation.
Happy hunting!
In The Gap Partnership’s consulting
practice, we work with clients every
day to help them strategize, tactically
plan and execute their negotiations.
If you would like more information
on how we can support your business
to achieve the greatest value from
your negotiations, please get in
touch by emailing
chris.atkins@thegappartnership.com
33

QUESTION
Our panel of experts mull over
a thought-provoking question –
is negotiation an art or a science?
Lloyd Barrett
HEAD OF RETAIL ANZ,
THE GAP PARTNERSHIP
The answer that immediately
sprang to my mind was art. But why?
Perhaps because of references to art
in negotiation and related disciplines:
the art of selling, the art of
conversation, the art of questioning.
It just feels right to call it an art.
The Oxford English Dictionary
defines art as works produced by
human creative skill and imagination,
or a skill at doing something, typically
acquired through practice. The more
you do something, the less you have
to think and the easier it becomes, to
the point where you reach mastery and
perform in a state of flow, bypassing
conscious thought. But this is a
dangerous place to be in a negotiation,
making you vulnerable to inappropriate
decisions based on rapid conclusions
made by your unconscious mind.
As a negotiation consultant,
I advocate that you must remain in
a state of conscious competence.
If you slip into your unconscious mind
where skill and artistry reside then you
become susceptible to rash decisions
and illogical tricks of the mind.
The ultimate danger is that you stop
being proactive and become reactive.
If art is about creativity or
unconscious execution, science by
contrast can be broken down into
constituent parts – explained, defined
and repeated to achieve consistent
results. Negotiation is likewise a
process, albeit a fluid one. Each
negotiation has different people and
circumstances. You can’t unconsciously
reproduce a series of learned behaviors.
To be truly effective you must
consciously call upon identifiable and
definable behaviors, skills and activities
in order to consistently achieve the
desired outcome.
For these reasons, I propose we are at
the dawn of a new field of “negotiation
science”, and negotiation is now more a
science than it is an art.
34

Milena Trentadue
HEAD OF SALES & REVENUE MANAGEMENT
CHURCH & DWIGHT CANADA
In my opinion both art and
science are involved in the drive
to achieve an effective negotiation
outcome. However, for me a satisfying
negotiation is, in essence, an art form.
Science by definition includes
organizing knowledge, observation
and experimentation. All are necessary
to evaluate your negotiation strategy
and determine appropriate variables.
However creativity, or art, is of greater
importance to allow the other party
to perceive value and ultimately be
influenced in your direction.
Think of ballroom dancing. There
is structure, positioning, rhythm and
precision involved, for all dances from
a mambo to a waltz and everything
in between. You must get the timing
and order right to achieve its design.
However, imagine a dance competition
in which you need to step up your
game to win over the judges and
crowd. Using creative elements
such as costume, flair, embellished
movement and smooth transitions
entices your audience, draws them
in and leaves them appropriately
entertained (i.e. satisfied). Simply
relying on structure and form is not
enough to gain the greatest result.
This is perhaps an unconventional
example. But reading it you imagined
a scene that affected your perspective.
Only artistry, imagination and creativity
can do that. Artful, fluid negotiation
brings forth exploration of variables
not even on the table, which can result
in new levels of satisfaction. This
complements the “science” element in
that it invites experimentation.
Therefore, my negotiation
philosophy is to start with the science:
to categorize and catalogue. Then I
take a step back to see the situation
from a creative perspective. Then I
take one more step back and begin
choreographing the dance.
Chris Perowne
HEAD OF DESIGN
INITIALS
Within the creative communications
industry, a project’s success is often
the result of an efficient and dynamic
journey from concept through to
production. Reaching an agreed solution
with multiple stakeholders, sometimes
with differing business interests and
always with differing opinions can be
challenging, especially when dealing
with intangibles such as design.
Effective negotiation is therefore hugely
important to navigate this process.
I always prefer a collaborative
negotiation strategy between agency
and client. It relies on the designer
understanding the culture and
preferences of the client, but also a
reciprocal trust that they have their best
interests at heart. Established principles
such as “getting inside their head” can
be applied to make something you
know works for their business, and also
something that they will love.
But what happens when there is a
difference of opinion? Knowing when
to stand by your view and when to
concede is a sophisticated and nuanced
skill. An objective rationale for what
can seem like a subjective design
decision makes negotiating much
more straightforward, but if it actually
doesn’t matter what color it is, or you
can’t justify why you’ve picked a specific
typeface, it is perfectly acceptable to
make concessions. On the other hand,
there are often occasions when years of
professional experience tell you to trust
your instinct and stand your ground. As
the experts, you shouldn’t need to use
too many tricks to convince your client.
These negotiations are only possible
when you connect on a personal level,
using relationships, discretion and
mutual trust to come to an agreement
(9-12 o’clock on the Clockface model
for those in the know). Each negotiation
is as unique as the creative work and
the client who is commissioning it,
and for this reason I would define
negotiation as more of an art than
a science.
Caroline Haimei Wu
PURCHASING CATEGORY
TEAM MANAGER, HENKEL
One summer I prepared a
negotiation proposal for the first time
for my biggest supplier. Sandeep, the
supplier, came into the meeting room
and threw my proposal on the desk,
declaring, “It’s non-negotiable!”
As a junior buyer, I was shocked.
How could we progress? Luckily, my
supervisor was there. She smiled, put
the proposal down and started chatting
with Sandeep. First the weather, then
family, and then she started talking
about the increasing demand of our
plants. Sandeep visibly relaxed, and
said haltingly, “You know, we all need
to survive…” The meeting lasted half
an hour. Twenty minutes chitchat.
The last ten minutes discussing price
and the final discount of 10%.
After years of working in
procurement – and participating in
several negotiation training courses –
I still remember this case. It marked
the start of a fundamental realization:
people are human, and believe me, noone
is unemotional. Even if they don’t
show it directly and pretend they are
cool, it is there, underlying everything.
In negotiation, it matters who you
are dealing with. Science can give
some guidance, but in the real business
environment it’s an art. You deal with
the person you want to negotiate with
individually. You study what they like
and what they hate. You observe their
emotions, body language, and reactions
to questions. You even notice their
clothing. You draw out all the relevant
information you can. Finally, you come
to a conclusion and formulate a plan to
try and get the deal.
You have treated all sensitive
information appropriately: when to use
the information, when to react, when
to put on your “negotiation face”.
All allow you to construct your
masterpiece and get the deal.
35

Tim Green
No one ever
won a war with
soggy ammo
Recently a small article in a British newspaper caught my eye. A guy – let’s
call him Bill – was in a pub in the north of England, and having paid for a
round of drinks received a pound coin in his change. Nothing remarkable
in that you might say, apart from the fact the pound coin in question, rather
than being gold and silver, was all-silver. As he was discussing his find with the
barman, another customer (let’s call him Ted) said he was a coin collector and
offered him £50 for the £1 coin. Highly appropriately Bill said no. Ted immediately
upped his offer to £100 and even got his cash out to make the deal. Bill again
wisely declined and left the pub happy in the knowledge that he had something
that could be of considerable more value than the £100 offered by Ted, who left
empty handed having lost the chance to secure something that was clearly valuable
for an absolute steal.
As I was reading the article and focusing particularly on Ted’s behavior, I found
myself shaking my head and muttering a phrase that my Great-Aunt Marjorie
used to trot out whenever she felt it was
appropriate (and often when it wasn’t, as she
meandered in and out of increasingly frequent,
sherry-soaked Sunday afternoons getting
“You can’t allow your own
personal desires to overtake
your need to be a negotiator
comatose on our couch): “He should have kept
his powder dry!” (hiccup…zzz).
This expression reputedly originates from
a well-authenticated story concerning Oliver
Cromwell. At the battle of Edgehill in 1642
his troops were about to cross a small stream
to engage the Royalist enemy in the opening
fight of the English civil war. Cromwell gave
a rousing address to lift his troops, which he concluded with the words – “Put your
trust in God, but mind to keep your (gun) powder dry.”
Sage advice, as no one ever won a war with soggy ammo! Translating it to
modern-day parlance the expression is used to mean waiting calmly until you
see how a situation develops before deciding what to do. This piece of advice is
something that negotiators the world over would do well to keep front of mind,
especially when, as in Ted’s case, they are negotiating over something for which
they have a strong personal motivation.
So where did our numismatic friend Ted, like so many negotiators, go wrong?
First and most obviously, he clearly wasn’t in control of himself. You can almost
see the pound signs flashing in his eyes when he spied the rare coin. You can’t
allow your own personal desires to overtake your need to be a negotiator. By
not controlling himself, Ted could never control the negotiation process nor the
36

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
actions of Bill. He was only ever going to either leave the
pub empty-handed or keep paying a higher and higher
price. Feigning ambivalence can be a hard act to pull off
convincingly, especially when you know that you desperately
want the item in question, but it could save you a lot of
money when you reluctantly agree a final price.
In a fascinating article in this edition of The Negotiation
Society magazine, my colleague Nick Hunter writes about
auctions. These are an example of the dangers of allowing
your unconscious (and all too often very conscious) desires
to drive your behavior. Being too bold too fast, or not
controlling your desire to own the item in question, can
end up inflating the final price you pay. Once you bid, the
auctioneer knows you’re interested. As you keep bidding they
know you want it. How badly you want it is what they need
to establish, and if they can get other people bidding against
you, then they will always come out on top because your
desire to win will take over, pushing the price ever higher.
Don’t be too quick to share how much you know. Our
ego wants us to look capable and knowledgeable, but playing
dumb can pay dividends when it comes to transactional
negotiations. Offering information about the coin, then
immediately tabling a large sum for it instantly weakened
Ted’s position. As Bill told the newspaper, “it was obviously
worth way more than he offered”.
Don’t say you’re an expert unless you use it as positioning
to shift the other party’s perception of value in your favor.
Casting doubt in the other party’s mind about an item’s
worth by referencing your own expertize can be highly
appropriate. Saying you’re an expert and then setting an
expectation of high value in the other party’s mind that
works against you, as Ted did, is highly inappropriate!
Linked to all of this is the value to be found in taking
time to establish what knowledge the other party might
have about the item being discussed. Effective questioning
could have helped Ted better understand Bill’s own expertize,
or lack thereof, and then have informed him how to
appropriately proceed to secure the coin.
So, the next time you go into a negotiation for something
you really really want, think about Ted, Cromwell and my
old Auntie Marjorie (possibly the world’s most unlikelysounding
trio). Play dumb and keep your powder dry. Which
reminds me – Auntie Marjorie is still alive (amazingly) and
is coming for Christmas this year (depressingly), so I’d better
stock up on sherry. Experience tells me one bottle won’t be
enough… Cheers! TNS
37

OVERHEARD :
CONVERSATIONS IN THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
Catch up with negotiation thinking and debate online at The Negotiation Society,
the private group exclusively for our alumni. Here are some recent highlights…
The Gap Partnership
The Lile ook of Negotiation
ver the course of six weeks, Chris Atkins shared each
chapter of his newly published The Negotiator’s Guide,
and received a fantastic response. Feedback from alumni
ranged from, t’s a perfect intro into the exciting world of
geng beer each day, regardless of what you know, to
With the day to day work, we tend to slip towards bad
habits. This is a uality reminder The last word goes to
Steve Gates who commented, People ask what makes
The Gap Partnership dierent This series of articles is
simply a must read for anyone who negotiates.
Like Comment
54 11
2d
The Gap Partnership
Grow Together
n a timely thoughtpiece from TGP’s consulting team,
Paul radford shone a light on evenue Growth
Management GM, the pursuit of growing revenue
faster than volume. He pointed out that in a retail
landscape of ongoing ux, with suppliers facing
category stagnation and even decline, GM is now a
primary focus for many businesses. He went on to argue
that the success of GM can’t lie solely in the hands of
the supplier, and that cooperation and mutually
beneficial action are essential to success.
Like Comment
36
2
7d
The Gap Partnership
3d
eal or No eal
The topic of ATNAs est Alternative to a Negotiated
Agreement was tackled by Chris Mercer in an article
that began by describing a classic trick real estate agents
use to maximie the selling price of a house. Going on to
reference rexit and the importance of maintaining
credibility in this area, it concluded with a handy
checklist for successfully delivering a ATNA. n response
one alumni suggested that maybe GAP could use rexit
negotiations as an example of what not to do.
Like Comment
46 1
The Gap Partnership
We’re Moving House
Ann Marie Costelloe shared exciting plans to create a
new community platform for all of our alumni with
enhanced functionality and an expanded suite of
negotiation services. She canvassed opinion from
members of the group via a survey, the results of which
are being used to inform and develop the new platform.
For the latest news on this, and to receive early bird
joiner benefits, make sure you regularly check in to
The Negotiation Society online.
5d
Like Comment
42 8
38
To find out more and apply to join, visit thegappartnership.com/alumni

THE NEGOTIATION SOCIETY
CROSSWORD
Our fiendishly challenging British-style crossword returns.
ACROSS
1/27 Dynamic tough egoist retained
to produce broker’s handbook
(3,11,5)
9 Hack giving introductions to heads
of research scoping exercises (5)
10 Superstar in Tactical Plan
Development originally
restrained old dinosaur (8)
12 Winnings regularly found
in pubs (4)
13 See 11 Down
15 See 8 Down
17 Two daughters in sports arena
providing cold refreshment (4,5)
19 Graphic flag mostly complete (9)
20 Measure and depth included (5)
21 Work in French passage available
to all (4-6)
23 Jung analyzed logic around
Completion Review primarily (4)
26 Asian pastry I nip back to
tuck into (8)
27 See 1 Across
28 It’ll become visible by dark
assuming electric company
control ends (9,5)
DOWN
2 Chicken eating, or raised bird (5)
3 Require Geordie journalist to be
assaulted by the sound of it (4)
4 Criticizes one’s group to defend
one’s honor (3,12)
5 Speculation surrounding most
deals, strangely I’ve heard it
before (3,4,3,5)
6 Home alone, gutted, inviting
in person (5)
7 Agreed, — nothing to discover
without working space (2,3,4)
8/15 Consequences of control in proof
we set out after those people accept
current agreement (3,6,2,5)
11/13 Developing general method,
takes man for process of
engagement (11,10)
14 Posh way to take on
universal language (4)
16 Mammal gained energy
consuming chopped liver (9)
18 It’s Wednesday, turns up
revealing lots of tiny beads (4)
22 Execution of monarch after a
key period of decline (5)
24 In the morning husband
lives within religious sect (5)
25 Reportedly, not very pretty fruit (4)
For solutions email
alumni@thegappartnership.com
“Don’t let it throw you - it’s just a negotiating tactic.”
39

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