SCCC SUN CITY GOLD OCTOBER 2018D

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SCCC BUSINESS PAGES 3 THRU 20
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SUCCESSFUL FUNDRAISING 2018
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LOCAL SERVICES
A STORY ABOUT
ALZHEIMER’S
ADVERTISE WITH
US 760-705-4626
A LOOK AT GFWC’S
EXTRAVAGANZA 4
PICTURES &
COMMENTS

Menifee’s Road Slurry
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STAY TUNED FOR VIDEO COMING SOON

A FIRST HAND ALZHEIMER’S STORY
I LOVED HIM TILL THE END
By Renée Mollan-Masters
One day I was driving home from town when I got so angry, I
had to pull my car over to the side of the road because I
couldn’t see straight. I was furious at my sick husband because
I felt I had not signed up for what I was about to face. I felt like
he was putting me in a position that was completely
unreasonable and unfair. About three days later, I had another
realization that changed everything. I remembered that my
husband was my best friend, and that he had always stood by
me no matter what, and in that moment, I decided that I just
couldn’t abandon him in his darkest hour. And I knew he would
have done the same for me.
The moment I just described was three years into a ten-year
journey with my husband, who had vascular dementia which is
very similar to Alzheimer’s. I survived that experience, and I
hope that what I share will inspire you and make your journey
easier.
WHO IS THE BEST CAREGIVER FOR YOUR LOVED ONE?
I met a caregiver, towards the end of the time I cared of my
husband, who told me something I should have learned in the
for someone in this condition. I concur. As wife wanting to be a
good wife and friend,
I took care of Jerry by myself much longer than I
should have. Everyone has to find their own
timing. When you place a loved one in a
beautiful place that honors them, you are giving
them a better life then you can give them on
your own. It’s difficult to hear this, I know, but it’s
important. You may not be your husband’s or
wife’s best caregiver.beginning years. This
caregiver told me that caring for a patient with
any kind of dementia is not a job for one person.
It takes many people to care for someone in this
condition. I concur. As a wife wanting to be a
good wife and friend, I took care of Jerry by
myself much longer than I should have.
Everyone has to find their own timing. When you
place a loved one in a beautiful place that
honors them, you are giving them a better life
then you can give them on your own. It’s difficult
to hear this, I know, but it’s important. You may
not be your husband’s or wife’s best caregiver.
Early on in our journey, I heard a statistic that
most caregivers die before the person they are
caring for dies. Why? Because the stress is
tremendous. I made a commitment to myself
that that wasn’t going to happen to me. So I
looked for ways to support myself. Every
morning I got up before my husband Jerry, and I
spent no less than an hour with spirit. I wrote in
my journal, I meditated, I listened to spirit and it
fed me for the day. I also ended each day with
spirit and I am convinced that this one thing
made all the difference.
LEARNING ABOUT MEDICATIONS THAT
CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE
At the beginning, when Jerry began to lose his
memory and his ability to think, he was terrified.
He paced from his office to the kitchen and back
again all day long. No matter how I tried, I could
not comfort him. A nurse friend told me about a
drug that would help this challenge. I got some
of that med for him, and within days he was
peaceful, joyful, and just plain okay. It was a
miracle! That medication changed everything. It
made it possible for me to care for him much
longer in our home.
As Jerry’s memory deteriorated, he began to
perseverate. He would ask the same question
again and again and again and would not
remember the answer I had just given him. For
example, in the morning he would greet me with,
“What are we going to do today?” I would
answer him and then a few seconds

later he would ask again. I think this would
have driven even a saint crazy. I learned to
redirect him. I would give him something to
eat, or I would put on a TV show that I knew
he would enjoy. Sometimes I would fix him a
cup of coffee and we would sit outside
looking n our deck over looking our forest. It
didn’t really matter what I did. I just had to
redirect his mind and he would stop.
CAREGIVERS NEED BREAKS AND
NURTURING TOO
I took several trips without Jerry in order to
give myself a break. I always left him with
someone, which he resisted completely
when I was around, but kindly accepted
when I was not there. I did what I had to do
to keep my husband safe, despite his
protests. Don’t be surprised if your family
members don’t understand what you are
going through. They just can’t. They are not
being insensitive, but unless you are in this
experience or have had this experience, you
can’t understand what it is really like. To lose
the love of your life, inch-by-inch, is
heart-wrenching. Towards the end, Jerry got
Sundowners. I would describe Sundowners
as hell. It begins at sundown and it makes
the person act completely crazy. He would
come into our bedroom at 3:00 a.m. in the
morning and turn on the light and yell at me
and ask why I was still in bed. I had to put a
child gate at the foot of the stairs of our
two-story home so that I could get some
sleep. He would stand down below and yell
up to me. If I ignored him, he would leave.
He would take all the pots and pans out of
every cupboard in the kitchen. He would tear
his bed apart. He would move our furniture
and plants around wildly and it usually took
an hour each morning to get our house back
in order.
Jerry with his granddaughter
Jerry was just starting to lose his memory

BLESSINGS TO ALL THE
CAREGIVERS AND ALL THOSE
SUFFERING FROM ALZHEIMER'S.
For inspiration, I took a Bene Brown class and she
asked the question that if we died tomorrow what would
we feel badly about that we had not done in our
lifetimes. I knew what it was immediately. I knew that I
wanted to write and produce films that inspired
greatness in people. So I began writing a story called,
“Peace Train, A Love Story.” The book has now been
published internationally and a film is in the process of
being produced. It is a story of old for all ages.
Remember how we used to go to films and we would
come out singing and dancing when it was over? Well
this story will do just that for you. It was written to
inspire, to leave you uplifted and hopeful. I hope you
will read it and let me know if I was successful.
PEACE WITHIN
Fortunately, today there is a drug available that helps
get rid of Sundowners.
MAKING THE TRANSITION TO A FOSTER HOME
Things had to get pretty bad for me before I would
consider placing my husband in a home. One night he
tried to throw me out of the house because he thought
I was a burglar. He was going to the bathroom
anywhere and everywhere. And one night I said to
myself ‘this is not a way to live life.’
I found a wonderful foster home that was like a man
cave for my husband. The man running the home was
an angel. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven
finding such a wonderful place for Jerry. It was the
best of everything. I visited Jerry every day for the first
month and then less often later. The last time I took
him out to a movie, he had forgotten how to sit. I
almost didn’t get him in the seat in the theatre, and
when we went back to the car he didn’t know how to
get into the car. Fortunately, a wonderful couple came
over to help me and the man picked Jerry up and put
him in the car. I know that spirit was watching over us.
LIFE AFTER DEATH
Jerry died peacefully nine months after I placed him in
the man cave. I was happy for him when he passed. I
was so glad he was out of that sickly mind and body.
After he died, I decided that I was not going to sit
around and wait for death. I had too much life left and
I was going to live it fully.
Some of you may think that my experience of taking
care of Jerry was horrible. It was difficult, but that
challenge grew me. It forced me to find my peace
within. It also forced me to ask for help, and I learned
that help is always there when I ask for it.
About six weeks before he passed away, I was sitting
visiting with Jerry in his man cave bedroom, and I
asked him if he loved me. He turned and looked at me
and smiled and said, “I love you. And it isn’t even hard
to do.” I will cherish this comment for the rest of my life.
I know that love is greater than pain, and I feel honored
to have taken this journey with the man I will love
forever.
Renee Today
AUTHOR’S NOTES:
Renée Mollan-Masters was married to her husband
Jerry for 30 years. Jerry was sick for over one-third of
their marriage. Renée is the best-selling author of the
non-fiction book, “You Are Smarter Than You Think.”
She has authored a new book, “Peace Train, A Love
Story” and has written the movie, Peace Train. Renée
will produce and co-direct her film in the coming year.
www.PeaceTrainMovie.com. You can find out more
about Author/Producer/Director Renée Mollan-Masters
on social media @PeaceTrainMovie or contact her via
email at: yastyt@mind.net.

STAY TUNED, VIDEO COMING SOON

By Nellie Hathorn Owner of Acciptier Marketing & Social Media Company
SOURCE: Lifetime
Have you received random friend requests on
Facebook from someone you don't recognize
but their picture appears to look relatively
harmless, possibly an attractive photo. You
reach back into your brain trying to remember
their name or place their face. Or have you
received a duplicate friend request from a
friend and you think to yourself, "Wait a
minute, I'm already friends with them." Well,
Facebook is plagued with this problem right
now so here is what could be happening and a
few things to do to protect your online
privacy.
You may receive a fake Facebook friend
request for any number of reasons — some
harmless, some malicious. The different types
of people who send fake or malicious friend
requests include: "Scammers" who might try
accessing your friend list or your news feed. It
could be an ex-spouse, ex-boyfriend,
ex-girlfriend, or current spouse,... you get the
idea. They could be testing your fidelity or
checking to see if you respond to an attractive
post. It could be a "catfisher." Someone
posing behind an attractive profile looking for
a love or friend connection. Facebookers
beware.
●
●
Did you receive a second request
from someone you are already
friends with? First thing, double check
that you are indeed friends already. If
so, then you know this second request
is a fake profile. Now you can respond
to the friend request. You can report
the profile as a fake account. Click the
3 little dots next to "message" on their
profile page then click "Give feedback
or report this profile." You can click
"Fake Profile" or 'Pretending to be
someone else." Whichever one
coincides.
Do you know the requester or have
any friends in common? If your
answer is "no," you have your first
clue. If you can't recall meeting the
person in real life or meeting through
any mutual friends, then the friend
request may have been sent to you
under false pretenses. Check the
person's friends list if it's viewable and
click the mutual list to see if there is
anyone you both know. If not, more
than likely it's a scammer.

●
●
●
Is the friend request from an attractive
person of the opposite sex that you
don't know? A guy who gets a random
friend request from a beautiful woman he
doesn't know should suspect a ruse. The
same holds true for the ladies. A friend
request with a picture of an attractive
person posing provocatively is the bait
often used by people who create fake
friend requests. Many times I have seen
men posing with a child, to look like
single parent. They will have a child in a
few of the minimal pictures that they
post. This is to make them appear non
threatening. Don't fall for this.
Does the request come from a person
with a limited Facebook
history? Check out their Facebook
timeline and history. If the person joined
Facebook just a short time ago, this is
another clue that the friend request is
bogus. Most legitimate Facebook users
have a long history on their timeline
dating back several years. Fake profiles
are often created hastily, and most
profiles indicate when the person joined
Facebook. If the requesters Facebook
account and timeline were created
recently, then the person is most likely
trying to scam you.
Does the person have an unusually
small or large number of friends and
are they all the same sex? Fictitious
profiles may have an extremely small or
impossibly large number of friends on
their friends list. The reason? They have
likely spent little effort setting up the
fake profile, or they spammed a ton of
friend requests out and received a ton of
responses. Another clue is the sex of
those on their friends list. Depending on
who the person behind the fake profile is
www.accipitermarketing.com
●
●
●
targeting, you will likely see friends
that are predominantly of the opposite
sex of the requester since that is likely
who the person is targeting with the
fake friend requests. If the request is
from a lady targeting men, expect
almost all men in the friends list,
instead of a mix of men and women
like you would expect from a real
person. Sometimes these scammers are
targeting the opposite for online
relationships that may lead to
scamming for money.
Is there little personal content on
their timeline? You likely won't see a
lot of day-to-day activity on a fake
profile because of the effort required
to generate "real" content. You may
see some pictures, perhaps some links,
but you probably won't see a lot of
location check-ins or status updates.
This may or may not be true for
scammers of the catfishing type, as
they may spend a lot of time and effort
making their online persona seem as
real as possible.
Next time you receive a random friend
request, ask yourself these questions
and use your answers to determine
whether you have just spotted a fake
friend request. Avoid the pitfalls, so
when in doubt, the best action is not to
accept the request.
1. Perform a small privacy setting checkup.
Start by setting the privacy of your friend list
to either 'Private" or "Friends Only." Another
recommended setting is also under Facebook
privacy settings. Under "Who can send you
friend requests?" set it "Friend of friends."
This should help alleviate random requests.
While under your privacy settings, I also
recommend that you change your other
settings to either "Only me," "Friends," or
'Friends of friends." I don't recommend
Public. This privacy setting tune up should
help eliminate a lot of unwanted requests.

GOT A HALLOWEEN EVENT?
CALL US AND WE WILL
PUBLICISE IT!
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Nellie Hathorn
Social Media Expert
Accipiter Marketing
915-487-6423
Temecula, CA
We hope you find this information helpful. Have a great day!

CASH FLOW FOR NON-PROFITS
What do you think of the whole domain of raising
money to support an organization, a cause, a vision? Do
you think it’s a world only available to a select few with
certain credentials and experience who charge a lot of
money to help you raise funds? Do you think there are
secret keys or certain unknowable things you must do
in order to raise money? Do you think that the
knowledge of these things is locked away in the brains
of others, not you? And even if you know something
about raising money, do you think you have what it
takes to be successful at it?
What if I were to tell you that there are a few
important things to know about raising money or fund
raising and being good at it, they are not secrets and
are available to anyone with a passion for a cause.
The first thing is to know what you want. Specifically,
what do you need money for? Is it to support long-term
growth of your organization or group? Do you want to
launch a new program or project? Do you want ongoing
funding to keep the lights and air conditioning on? Be
specific on how much money you need and what you
need it for. You also want to review what funds are
already coming in and where they are coming from.
Once you have this information you can create a
fund-raising budget or the income part of an overall
organization budget. For example, your overall income
from various sources may be budgeted at $50,000 per
year, and the new fund-raising budget for a specific
program or project may be budgeted at $5,000 giving
you a total income budget of $55,000.
The second thing is to find out where you are going to
look for this money.
The first place you want to look is at your existing
resources. Do you have regular donors who support
your organization or group? Do you have regular
membership fees that you can count on? Do you have
board members and volunteers who are dependable to
provide funds as needed? Have you already received
grants from service clubs or civic organizations or
foundations? Do you have corporate sponsors for
special events? Do you dig into your own pockets
from time to time to bridge the gaps between
income and expenses? Do you receive in-kind
resources such as publicity, printing or goods or
services specific to a program or project?
The second place you want to look is into your
community. What service clubs or organizations are
in your community that don’t know about you yet or
that you haven’t talked to in a while? What funds
are available from your local city or county such as
block grants or community improvement
designation funds? Who do you know that works for
a local company or corporation? What organizations
have a similar mission to yours that you could
collaborate with? Who in your community is raising
funds successfully that you could talk to? Who are
your community leaders and movers?
Then what you want to do, once you’ve identified
people and groups, is to talk to those people and
groups. Why are they successful at what they do?
Who do they know? What could we do together
that would expand our community outreach and
resource development? Polish up your public
presentations to be brief, compelling and concise,
and make appointments to present to groups. The
most important aspect of these conversations and
presentations is to say what you want and what it’s
for and to be passionate about your organization’s
vision and mission.

If you haven’t reviewed and updated your organization’s
vision and mission statement in a while, do that. Be sure
you can speak powerfully about who your organization
represents, what it provides to your community and why
it is unique in what it provides.
I’m going to say a few things about grants, an area that
many perceive as full of secrets, mysteries and hidden
dangers. What you need to know about grants is simple:
Follow the directions exactly as written. That includes
making sure that you qualify for the specific grant for
which you are applying. Some grantors will only grant
funds to 501 (c)(3) tax exempt nonprofit organizations. If
you are not one of those, don’t apply. Some want you to
be in a specific geographic area or provide services to
specific groups of people such as homeless or students.
Some want to see certain financial records. Some want
you to explain who else in the community you
collaborate with or ask how you will evaluate results by
making them specific and measurable. Be sure to follow
all directions and criteria as presented by the grantor
and if they say they want a narrative double spaced
typed in 12-point Calibri of no more than 500 words, be
sure and do that! You also want to be sure that the
grantor meets your organization’s criteria in terms of
what they fund and what they want in return. Grant
research is so much easier now online than having to go
to the special grants library to leaf through numerous
volumes to find grants that meet your organization’s
criteria.
Many organizations utilize special events to raise
funds.Think of the Alzheimer’s Walk, the UNICEF
Masquerade Ball and any number of running and/or
walking events, bake sales, special dinners, charity
auctions, raffles, golf tournaments, rummage sales
and so on. Here is what there is to know about
special event fundraising. It takes a long time and a
lot of staff/volunteer time to plan and execute a
successful special event. Unless you have corporate
and/or in-kind sponsorships for some of the
expenses, special event expenses can end up cutting
significantly into expected income. The advantages
of special events are that they can generate
publicity, reinvigorate or re-inspire people who
formerly were affiliated with your organization and
introduce new people to your organization. That is
why they are also called “friend raisers.”
In summary, don’t be afraid to raise money. Be
visible and active in your community. Talk to
people. Be passionate about what your organization
does. If you do hire an expert to write a grant or put
on a special event, learn from them. Ask them for
tips so you can take on doing it yourself in the
future. And, as with personal finance, diversify.
Don’t depend on one or two income sources.
Develop other resources. Collaborate. Think outside
the box. Look at raising funds as resource
development and find out all the wonderful
available resources that there are in your
community for you to find and utilize.
ARTICLE BY:
Cecilia Burch holds a master’s degree in public
health education and over 25 years’ experience in
nonprofit organization management, including
managing volunteers, team building and community
collaboration, putting on special events and writing
grants. She is passionate about writing, gardening
and her three grandsons.