Get Out! GAY Magazine – Issue 378 – August 1, 2018

GET OUT! MAGAZINE >> GETOUTMAG.COM
> BY JOHANNE MILLET-STANZIALE
What is LezVolley?
LezVolley is an annual all-women’s volleyball tournament that takes
place on the beautiful beaches of Cherry Grove, Fire Island. Started
in 2011 with eight teams, the tournament has grown tremendously
and pumped up to over 20 teams over the past seven years.
LezVolley has teamed up with New York City’s Gotham Volleyball
league, the largest gay sports organization in New York City
founded in 1981, who professionally officiate all the tournaments.
Who should attend the event?
Anyone! The majority of attendees
and visitors belong to the LGBTQ
community, but the event welcomes
everyone. The tournament gathers
each summer a wide range of teams
from all five boroughs of NYC, Long
Island, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and
all over New York. The players are
from all ages—from 20s to 50s—and
all have different levels (beginners,
intermediate and advanced). Every
year, the LezVolley event also draws
hundreds of spectators, and the
audience keeps on growing with
visitors coming to watch the game
and enjoy a beach day filled with
entertainment. The crowd reaches over
500 people each year.
When is the 2018 LezVolley
weekend?
Traditionally, the LezVolley weekend
is almost always scheduled for the
second weekend of August. Falling
a few weeks after the 4th of July and
a few weeks before Labor Day, it is
the perfect weekend for a Fire Island
excursion. What else can you ask for
on a nice and sunny summer weekend?
This year, the annual women’s
volleyball tournament will take place
on Saturday, August 11. The games go
on from 12 p.m. to 4 p.m., but don’t
worry! The fun continues with the
after-party at Cherry’s on the Bay from
5 p.m. to 4 a.m.
“Beach, sun, ocean and LOTS of
beautiful women all hanging out together,
partying, and also enjoying the teams
of women playing beach volleyball?
Sign me up!” – Debbie of Cubbyhole

Why do people love the LezVolley
weekend?
The LezVolley event started in 2011
and has continued to grow year after
year. Because going to LezVolley
guarantees a day of fun in the sun,
and a night of dancing at the hottest
spot on Cherry Grove, the event has
continuously become more and more
successful.
“Beach, sun, ocean and LOTS of
beautiful women all hanging out
together, partying, and also enjoying
the teams of women playing beach
volleyball? Sign me up!” – Debbie of
Cubbyhole
LezVolley also has an official
after-party at Cherry’s Bar and
Grill, the most popular bar on
Cherry Grove. The party starts
right after the game and goes on
all night long with amazing DJs, a
full bar and a food menu.
Visit the website for more at
lezvolley.com.

THOMAS
TALKS
ABOUT: NONBINARY
Broadly speaking, our
society places more
value on individuals who
are entirely on one side
of the gender spectrum
or the other, and even
more so if you’re on the
masculine side.
Research has shown an
association between
gay men who highly
value strict gender
roles and internalized
homophobia. As LGBTQ
kids, we were told that
the things we like or want
to do are “wrong.” We’re
praised for acting in ways
that meet gender norms
and degraded for things
that don’t. When we’re
told to hate parts of
ourselves as children, we
grow up to hate them in
ourselves and others.
On the spectrum, I
think I’m closer to the
masculine side. Writing
this, though, I wonder if
it’s because that’s who I
really am, or if the parts
of me that aren’t have
just been shunned away?
First by society, then by
myself.
I identify as nonbinary,
but to the world I look
like a feminine gay
guy. Men only want
to fuck or fetishize
me and won’t be in a
relationship with me.
The gay male world
has an obsession
with masculinity
and muscles while it
shames femininity and
slenderness. I feel
stigmatized, and the
odds are against me for
me to truly be loved as
myself. I fear I may have
to change who I am
in order for me to be
wanted. I have to butch
up. - Gay, nonbinary, 25
I could go on for hours
discussing this with
you, but I’m going to
bottom line it. 1. Change
who you are and cross
your fingers. But I can’t
imagine pretending to
be someone you’re not
is ever going to lead to
a satisfying relationship,
and it may only make
you hate yourself. 2.
Love yourself more; treat
yourself like a precious
object, because you
are one. How we treat
ourselves tells the world
how to treat us. There is
no guarantee I can give
you that you (or anyone
else) will ever be in a
“successful” relationship,
but I can guarantee that
loving yourself more
will only lead to more
happiness. 3. If someone
is fetishizing you and you
don’t like it, stop fucking
them.
Every time I see a guy
walking around in
heels, I get sick to my
stomach. I feel like an
asshole even writing
it, but IDK. Some of
my friends agree with
me, so maybe it’s not
terrible for thinking. It’s
like, man up—it gives
gays a bad name. - Gay,
Male, 32
Some people reading
this agree with you, and
others want me to tear
you apart. I often notice
when male-presenting
people are wearing
heels, and if I’m being
honest, in the past it has
bugged me a bit. Then
one day I realized that
it was upsetting to me
because I didn’t feel free
enough to be whoever I
wanted. This didn’t mean
I wanted to wear heels;
it meant I was jealous
of their fearlessness,
something I didn’t have.
Take a moment and
reflect on why it’s so
upsetting to you. What
do you think it would say
about you if you were
to wear heels? Maybe
you’re just mad because
you know you don’t have
the guts to wear them
even if you wanted to.
Sex/Love/Relationship advice? Send your questions to: ThomasTalksAbout@gmail.com
@ThomasWhitfield84

classifieds >> BY GET OUT! Magazine
APPAREL & GIFTS
Luxury Male Sex Dolls
Available At SiliconWives.
com Looking for a literal
‘boy toy’ in your life? Try
one of our luxury male sex
dolls out. These full-size realistic
dolls are the last sex
toy you’ll ever need. Shop
Now and save 15% with discount
code: GETOUTMAG.
www.siliconwives.com/collections/male-sex-dolls
Jackson Men’s Clothing - Adult
Store: 88-10 Roosevelt Ave 2nd
Fl Jackson Heights, NY
REAL ESTATE
CABIN FOR SALE IN VERY
GAY FRIENDLY GATED
COMMUNITY IN BUCKS
COUNTY PA. 2 BEDROOM 1
BATH, OUTDOOR SHOWER,
LARGE SCREENED IN PORCH
AND DECK, FIREPLACE.
BEAUTIFUL WOODS,
PRIVATE, NEAR LAKE FOR
FISHING/KAYAKING. 1 HR 45
MINUTE DRIVE FROM NYC
TO PARADISE! CALL 347-731-
6678 FOR MORE INFO
DONATE & VOLUNTEER
GMHC - Visit gmhc.org
HEALTH & BEAUTY
EXPERT GROOMER!
M4M Intimate Grooming
& Waxing services.
Customized and Personalized.
All body types
and ages are welcome
to the safe zone.
Phone: 1(419) 455-6545
W e b s i t e :
alexspot.setmore.com
SHOWS / TV
WATCH: JIMMY STAR SHOW
with Ron Russel on Roku
GET OUT! TO
BRUNCH
Lips Drag Dining - 227 E. 56th
St - (212) 675-7710
GET A JOB
Private Men’s Club
Porter & Attendant
WANTED
227 E. 56 street
212-888-1884
Please call Alex or Robert
To advertise in the
classifieds, visit:
www.GETOUTMAG.com/MYAD
and submit your ad or
send an email to
mike@getoutmag.com
with details. Price
starts at $10/week.
MEDICAL
LEGAL HELP
GET A HAIRCUT
BEAUTY
PICK UP A FREE COPY
OF GETOUT
IN THE NEWSRACKS
AROUND GRAND CENTRAL
Cover: Dmitro Karaban @dima.karaban
Photo by Rick Stockwell @rickstockwell
ISSUE 378 - AUGUST 1 2018
PUBLISHER
MIKE TODD
MIKE@GETOUTMAG.COM
(646) 761-3325
DESIGN
AGOTA CORREA
AGOTA@GETOUTMAG.COM
NATIONAL ADVERTISNG REPRESENTATIVE
RIVENDELL MEDIA
(908) 232-2021
CONTRIBUTORS
CELEBRITY CORRESPONDENT
EILEEN SHAPIRO
IAN-MICHAEL BERGERON

BY EILEEN SHAPIRO
CELEBRITY CORRESPONDENT
AMERICA’S
TOP LGBT
EAST COAST HOTELS
F O R S U M M E R F U N
TOP
9
PICKS BY
TOP PICK:
Belvedere
33 Bayview Walk
Cherry Grove, NY 11782
belvederefireisland.com
The vibrant White Castle/Mansion shines in the distance as the
Fire Island Ferries head toward their destination. Situated on the
bay with poolside glamour, the Prince Charming architecture both
inside and out is a signature welcome to the men who visit Cherry
Grove. What goes on behind closed doors has been drawing men
to this male guest house for decades. Filled with opulence and
luxury, the Belvedere continues to attract gay men of all ages.

Empress
Hotel
101 Asbury Ave,
Asbury Park
asburyempress.com
The Empress Hotel in
Asbury Park offers a pool,
nightclub and all the
amenities in a town that is
always hopping. The hotel
is across the street from the
beach and a three-minute
walk to Asbury Splash Park.
The Silverball Museum
is only moments away as
well. Asbury Park is filled
with gourmet dining and
chic clothing shops. The
hotel is also steps from the
Paramount Theatre.
Grove Hotel
1 Ocean Walk
Cherry Grove,
NY 11782
grovehotel.com
Situated in the middle of
town, only steps away from
all restaurants, the grocery
store and all of the Cherry
Grove nightclubs and bars,
this is the perfect beach
resort. Privacy behind
closed gates prevails.
Hotel Tides
408 Seventh Ave,
Asbury Park
thehoteltides.com
The Hotel Tides in Asbury Park
offers 20 clean and modern
guest rooms, and is located only
eight minutes to the boardwalk
on foot. It is also within walking
distance to the Stephen Crane
House and the Silverball
Museum. There is a restaurant
and bar on the premises and a
seasonal outdoor pool. Free WiFi
is also included in all the rooms
and throughout the premises.
The town of Asbury Park itself is a
great vacation spot, as the entire
town is beyond gay friendly.
The Parliament
House
410 N Orange
Blossom Trail
Orlando, FL 32805
parliamenthouse.com
Orlando is the home of one of
the most prestigious gay and
lesbian nightclubs, located on
the premises of The Parliament
House. The 112-room motel
is attached to the bar and
surrounded by a private
courtyard and pool. You never
have to leave the premises for
fun and relaxation.

Dune Point
Guest House
134 Lewis Walk
Cherry Grove, NY
11782
dunepointfireisland.com
Across from the ocean and
within walking distance to town,
the Dune Point Guest House in
Cherry Grove (Fire Island) is a
quiet place to stay while only
steps from the town action.
Rainbow
Mountain Resort
210 Mt. Nebo Road
East Stroudsburg,
PA 18301
rainbowmountain.net
Rainbow Mountain Resort
has been one of the liveliest
and most celebratory LGBTQ
paradises since 1981. Located
high up in the Pocono
Mountains, it boasts 25 acres
to play, hike, swim or enjoy
the nightlife. It offers a huge
hot tub, gym and sauna,
tennis, basketball, row boats,
paddle boats, drag shows and
more. Multiple event spaces
feature weddings and other
events. The fabulous Winter
Rendezvous event takes place
every winter, where you can
partake in various winter sports
along with cozy indoor fun.
Benchmark Inn
6 Dyer St.
Provincetown,
MA 02657
benchmarkinn.com
Located in the historic
section of Provincetown,
this B&B boasts great rates
and beautiful scenery and
is only moments away from
the lighthouse. Its Victorian
style and swagger make it a
popular gay resort. Intimate
rooms, a fabulous garden
area (and WiFi!) are included.
The Grand
Resort and Spa
539 N Birch Rd.
Fort Lauderdale,
FL 33304
grandresort.net
The best gay, all-male resort
in Fort Lauderdale, The
Grand Resort and Spa, is just
a short walk from the city’s
gay beach. Amenities include
a hot tub/jacuzzi, outdoor
pool, spa and fitness center,
and massages are offered on
premises. Parking and WiFi
are free. A lovely cocktail
hour on Friday and Saturday
nights at the hotel bar is
a great way to meet and
mingle with other guests.

GET OUT! MAGAZINE >> GETOUTMAG.COM
YOU’RE FROM UKRAINE, IS THAT
RIGHT, DIMA? WHAT BROUGHT
YOU TO AMERICA, AND TO NEW
YORK, SPECIFICALLY? AND HOW
LONG HAVE YOU LIVED HERE?
YES, I AM FROM UKRAINE. I CAME
HERE THREE YEARS AGO TO
FOLLOW MY DREAM. I ALWAYS
DREAMED ABOUT THE UNITED
STATES AND WAS IN LOVE WITH
THIS COUNTRY AND ITS PEOPLE.
AND AFTER BEING HERE, I BELIEVE
I WAS ABLE TO FIND MYSELF AND
FOCUS ON WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO
ME. I LOVE NEW YORK, BECAUSE
YOU CAN BE FREE HERE AND LET
THE BEST OF YOURSELF OUT. THE
CITY IS VERY DIVERSE, AND I FEEL
VERY COMFORTABLE IN IT.
I KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN GOING
TO SCHOOL. WHAT SCHOOL DID
YOU ATTEND, AND WHAT DID
YOU STUDY?
YES, I WENT TO BMCC (BOROUGH
OF MANHATTAN COMMUNITY
COLLEGE) TO STUDY BUSINESS. I
THINK NEW YORK IS THE PERFECT
PLACE FOR THAT INDUSTRY, AND
IT’S ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I
CAME TO THIS CITY.
Dima
KARABAN
@dima.karaban
WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF
IN FIVE YEARS? WHAT DO YOU
THINK YOU’LL BE DOING?
I AM VERY FASCINATED BY BITCOIN
AND THE FUTURE OF THE DIGITAL
INDUSTRY. I THINK THAT’S WHAT
I WANT TO DO IN THE NEXT
FIVE YEARS. I WOULD LIKE TO
PARTICIPATE IN THE SHIFT FROM
ONE ERA TO ANOTHER. I LIKE TO
SPEND MY TIME LEARNING ABOUT
THESE THINGS.

PHOTO & INTERVIEW
BY RICK STOCKWELL
@RICKSTOCKWELL
BUT WHAT DO
YOU DO FOR FUN?
WHAT DO YOU DO
BESIDES WORK
OUT, WHICH
I CAN TELL YOU
SPEND A LOT OF
TIME DOING?
IN MY FREE TIME
I LIKE TO RIDE
MY SKATEBOARD
AROUND THE
CITY. I THINK IT’S
THE FASTEST
WAY AROUND. I
WILL EVEN GRAB
ONTO CARS
SOMETIMES TO
GET MORE SPEED.
IT’S DANGEROUS, I
SUPPOSE, BUT IT’S
SO MUCH FUN. I
LOVE IT! I ALSO
LOVE SOCCER AND
LIKE TO WATCH
SOCCER MATCHES
WITH MY FRIENDS
AT BARS.

BY IAN-MICHAEL BERGERON
@ianmichaelinwonderland
Playing Games
Sunday, after bottomless
sangria at Barraca on
Greenwich Avenue, the crew
wanted to keep the buzz
going and wandered up
to 24th Street, falling into
Barcade.
Rows of old, ‘80s arcade
games lined the place. My
boyfriend J marveled at
the Q*bert machine by the
front while I breezed past,
ordering a Cosmopolitan at
the bar. It was hot pink and
strong; I stayed at the bar a
moment, sipping so not to
spill all over myself.
When my drink was a safe
amount of drunk (which was
a safer amount of drunk
than I), I wandered over to
the four-player Pac-Man
machine, where Southern
Belle C and his boyfriend
were getting ready to play.
Insisting they wait, and that I
got to be the pink Pac-Man,
I went back to Q*bert to pull
J away.
But J was on a roll, and when
he finally died because he
touched a squiggly thing (a
snake? An angry penis? I had
no fucking clue), he got to
enter his initials as sixth place
on the scoreboard.
We wandered over to Pac-
Man, but the image of “JWB:
6th Place” stuck in my head.
I’m not sure if it was being
there with J, or the Cosmo,
or the sangria… or all of the
other sangria, but suddenly,
all of the games made me
think of dating.
We all play the games,
hoping to get a high score,
hoping to get our initials on
the scoreboard—at least,
until someone better comes
along and beats our high
score. We play again and
again and again, discovering
all the tricks, getting
better each time, learning
something new with every
death.
While the blue Pac-Man—
Southern Belle C—ate my
Cosmo-colored Pac-Man,
the memories of boyfriends
past stuck with me like
three letters engraved on a
scoreboard. JWB. AJV. SAB.
They’d played my game, and
they’d played it well—and
before they gave up walked
away, they made their mark
on me, so the next players
would know who’d been
there before. Their initials
burned on my skin.
And then, here in this
column, I publish their
scores.
I looked at my boyfriend,
shrieking as the blue Pac-
Man got to him too. How
high is my score? Am I going
to make it on his scoreboard?
Do I have a chance at being
number one?
After Southern Belle C won
two games in a row, J went
to the pinball machine, and
I went to the bar for another
Cosmo.
I accepted a race against J,
moving the gear from 1 to 4
as if it made a difference—
which maybe it did, because
I won first place. Afterward,
I finished my drink and
insisted we go somewhere
else. We ended up at a bar
with a pool table and darts—
but at least there weren’t any
scoreboards.
PHOTO BY STEVE BRENNAN

SUCCESSFUL
MEN'S
SPA
SPA HOURS
11AM-10PM
212 - 989 - 1012‬
15 Christopher St. NY, NY 10014

20% OFF
Nails & Waxing
● NAILS
● WAXING & TRIMMING
● MASSAGE
● BODY-SCRUB (TABLE SHOWER)
NEW YORK, NY 10011
(BTWN 6TH & 7TH AVE.)
HOURS:
MON - SAT 10:30AM - 11:30PM
SUN 11AM-11PM
THE REASON
TO CHOOSE
UTOPIA SPA:
•Relaxing atmosphere
•Professional skills
•Clean and hygienic
•Respectful and friendly
30mins $40 60mins $60
Free cold drinks
Free shower
Value packages are available!
Massage - Waxing - Trimming
Table shower - Body scrub
Like Nowhere,
You’ve Ever Been!
www.UtopiaSpaNYC.com
965 Lexington Ave
2FL @ 70th Street
Tel: 212 -879 -0402
Hours: 10:30AM-11:00PM
Trains: 6, F, Q

WORST PART OF WORKING WEEKENDS? MISSING BRUNCH...
Trust us we know. Well cry no more,
LASAGNA CHELSEA
has come to the resuce.
INTRODUCING
Industry Brunch
EVERY MONDAY
Call today to make your reservation!
212.242.4551
Now you, too, can enjoy bottomless drink specials with delicious food like
those 9 to 5ers always brag about.
you’re welcome.