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smorgasboarder
decades before is balancing out the line-ups a little
more in certain places) there is always a moron in
the water. A clear example of this sort of situation
is that of male surfers vocalising their innermost
primate thoughts in the lineup. Just google “sexist
surfing lineup” and you’ll find countless examples,
of creepy come-ons, derogatory jokes, and
inappropriate comments.
There is no grey area here. While we’re certainly
not virtue signalling, this is one clear-cut example
where men truly need to take responsibility. Talking
about a girl’s body, or commenting on ‘how hot’
someone is with your mates will inevitably make
that girl feel uncomfortable, and you will be a
dick. Pointing, laughing and being generally rude
or disrespectful will do the same. Simple rules of
respect that apply on land also apply here. What
coping strategy can be used to deal with the need
to say things out loud? Again, common manners,
we would hope.
However, a little more confusing to some is
another form of sexism being highlighted. Anna,
a comfortably competent recreational surfer and
the blogger at 3rdculturekid.net, wrote a piece
on her personal experiences of sexism in the
water that were essentially all events where she
felt patronised by guys offering to help her, either
with advice, help in the water or “mansplaining”
technical aspects of surfcraft. “Do you ever see
one male surfer approach a total stranger of the
same sex and offer to push him into waves?”
she asked. The visceral argument here would be
whether this is chivalry or sexism? What were the
motives of the person offering help? Is it a poor
attempt at befriending someone of the opposite
sex through an awkward, ingrained gender
stereotype, or is it a sinister attempt to belittle
“the weaker sex”, one step from the cartoon of
a Neanderthal dragging his mate into a cave?
Applying our idealised concept of common
manners to this particular example becomes more
grey, as we’re dealing with so many assumptions of
motive and how actions are being perceived. When
is it even appropriate to start a conversation with
someone of the opposite sex when in the water?
Ever? Not at all? Is it about actual content of a
conversation, or will assumptions of intent always
cloud every situation? There is possibly no right
or wrong answer for this one as every interaction
comes with its own set of variables, personal
history and possibility for interpretation.
A great little article on theinertia.com gave 5 tips
to dealing with sexism in the lineup, which pretty
much all come down to the same thing: respect
in both directions – essentially using common
sense in not being patronising and not being rude.
It would be fantastic if the solution to making all
women/girls feel comfortable in the water was
that simple and essentially the same as making
all men/boys feel comfortable in the water. But
we unfortunately are creatures of our own culture,
history and understanding. We all have baggage.
So we struggle.
When it comes to a topic like sexism, picking sides
and polarising is easy. It would be easy for us to
say “We’re feminists! Death to all you misogynistic
pigs.” It would also be just as easy to say “Lighten
up ladies, you’re taking this too far”. Would either
be appropriate, or useful? Picking a side allows
us to throw stones at each other from a distance,
where the so-called opponents are no longer
human beings, but a giant homogenous mass of
“those people”.
So, the more difficult thing to say is “How do we
genuinely take responsibility to make it better
for all?” Maybe from both sides we’re better off
focusing on every other person not as a set of
genitalia, but as a complete human being with
feelings, hopes, dreams and - at the heart of it
all - the same core striving as you: to be happy.
And how do we treat other people as humans?
With respect. Common manners. The decency and
dignity we expect to be treated with ourselves.
Simply put, is this all as easy as just not being
a dick (or dickette, to keep this sexism-free of
course). Maybe, maybe not… In fact, almost
certainly not, but it sure is a step in the right
direction. words: mark chapman
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