Get Out! GAY Magazine – Issue 372 – June 20, 2018
Featuring content from the hottest gay and gay-friendly spots in New York, each (free!) issue of Get Out! highlights the bars, nightclubs, restaurants, spas and other businesses throughout NYC’s metropolitan area that the city’s gay population is interested in.
Featuring content from the hottest gay and gay-friendly spots in New York, each (free!) issue of Get Out! highlights the bars, nightclubs, restaurants, spas and other businesses throughout NYC’s metropolitan area that the city’s gay population is interested in.
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It was 1998, and I was<br />
in 8th grade, when I<br />
decided to start coming<br />
out to my small town in<br />
the middle of Michigan.<br />
In the Midwest you don’t<br />
come out to individuals,<br />
close friends or family<br />
members; the news<br />
travels fast—you come<br />
out to the entire town,<br />
overnight.<br />
No one was surprised.<br />
A few years back I had<br />
begun dressing goth,<br />
and in 5th grade proudly<br />
proclaimed my love<br />
for Alanis Morissette,<br />
whom I still adore to<br />
this day. Before coming<br />
out I’d been plagued<br />
with fear that my father<br />
would disown me, and I<br />
would literally become<br />
the next Matthew<br />
Shepard. None of those<br />
things happened. To<br />
be honest, I ended up<br />
having it pretty easy,<br />
aside from having food<br />
thrown at me in the<br />
lunchroom, being yelled<br />
at in the hallway and<br />
a few words scratched<br />
into my locker, which<br />
of course were spelled<br />
wrong.<br />
THOMAS<br />
TALKS<br />
ABOUT:<br />
Here we are, <strong>20</strong> years<br />
later, and LGBTQ<br />
populations still don’t<br />
have it easy, and in a<br />
lot of cases it’s worse.<br />
With the gain in visibility<br />
comes the rise of hate<br />
crimes, reportedly an<br />
increase of 5% yearly<br />
against the LGBTQ<br />
community. And 40% of<br />
homeless youth identify<br />
as LGBTQ. Families<br />
are still kicking their<br />
children out because<br />
of their sexuality and<br />
gender identity, leaving<br />
our LGBTQ brothers<br />
and sisters to make new<br />
families, their chosen<br />
families.<br />
I just moved to NYC<br />
from Utah, and I don’t<br />
know anyone. I want<br />
to make friends, but<br />
everyone seems to just<br />
want to hook up. What<br />
do I do? - Male, Gay,<br />
19<br />
Welcome to the city! I<br />
think what you’re going<br />
through is something<br />
that most go through<br />
when they move here.<br />
You’re the new face, and<br />
everyone wants a piece.<br />
You didn’t mention what<br />
you do for work or if<br />
you’re a student, but I’d<br />
recommend getting a<br />
social job (something in<br />
a restaurant or bar) in a<br />
gay part of town. You’ll<br />
meet a ton of coworkers<br />
that are LGBTQ, or<br />
friendly straights, and<br />
tons of patrons. That’s<br />
COMING OUT<br />
what I did when I moved<br />
here, and I met mostly<br />
great people. I’d shy<br />
away from apps for<br />
making friends, but if<br />
you go that route, be<br />
clear you’re “looking for<br />
friends”—and mean it.<br />
Hookups can become<br />
friends, but it’s not<br />
always the case.<br />
I haven’t come out to<br />
my family. My friends<br />
think I’m weak and<br />
should. I’m afraid<br />
they will cut me off<br />
financially, and I need<br />
them. Do I have to<br />
come out? - Male, Gay,<br />
mid-<strong>20</strong>s<br />
No one can make you<br />
come out, and you don’t<br />
say if you “want” to. If<br />
it’s something you want<br />
to do, then do it. You’re<br />
in your mid-<strong>20</strong>s; you<br />
can support yourself<br />
one way or another.<br />
But, that’s a choice you<br />
have to make, and it<br />
might require making<br />
some lifestyle changes.<br />
Everyone has a different<br />
timeline, and only you<br />
can say what’s right for<br />
yourself. There are a<br />
variety of reasons to<br />
come out or stay in the<br />
closet, and there is no<br />
“right answer,” but you<br />
have to make sure you’re<br />
safe either way. Make<br />
a pros and cons list,<br />
accept that for now and<br />
reassess later. Write to<br />
me again if you decide<br />
you want to come out<br />
and need some tips!<br />
Sex/Love/ReLationShip advice? Send youR queStionS to: thomaStaLkSabout@gmaiL.com<br />
@thomaSWhitfieLd84