Fertility Road Issue 06

FEATURE | same-sex parenting
2After the initial meeting, the contracts and retainer need to
be discussed. When you have your agency, you will sign a
retainer agreement. The agency will begin working with you
to find the perfect surrogate and/or egg donor. No agency has
surrogates/egg donors on a waiting list and if you are told they
do, they are unlikely to be the right agency. Be prepared to wait
for a good surrogate; don’t rush into the first offer because you
want to get the process underway!
3Testing and registering with the clinician. Registering can be
either in person or occasionally, by telephone. However, all
medical testing will need to be performed to FDA, HFEA or
locally equivalent guidelines. The clinic might also have their
requirements to add to this. At minimum, HIV and STD testing
will be conducted on all parties. Most will require you to undergo
counselling. You may also have sperm tested and frozen at this
time to cut down waiting times.
4Your facilitator will use your sperm’s quarantine period to
match you and your surrogate/egg donor. You have to be
forthright with your facilitator; let them know the type of
relationship you are looking for with the surrogate, an involved
approach or a more distant one talking with the surrogate only
after Doctors appointments etc.
To find your perfect match, you will complete a detailed profile on
you and your partner with photos. This profile can be matched with
possible egg donors and surrogates and shared with the matches.
Names can be left out but this depends on the type of relationship
you wish to have with your surrogate and/or egg donor.
5Meeting surrogates/egg donors is a personal choice. Once the
facilitator has egg donor profiles for you and recommended a
couple of surrogates, you may wish to meet them. Or, you
may wish to use an anonymous egg donor. The facilitator will
enable this by assigning the egg donor a number, and referring to
you only by the first letters of your forenames. Although they will
select possible matches for you, the decision on the egg donor is
ultimately yours. They should decide on a matching surrogate.
6Once you have your final matches, you need to think about
their contracts. In some countries these may not be legally
enforceable. In the UK, the courts would not take the contract
into account if you needed to uphold any part of it. In contrast,
in California, a surrogacy contract is enforceable. If the contract
were broken, the courts would decide the outcome based on the
agreement made. When composing your contracts, consider a
clause mentioning what should happen in the eventuality that
you were both to die during the pregnancy. You would need to
decide the children’s next of kin and your wishes for the children’s
future if the worst happened.
7Physicians meet your surrogate and egg donor to calculate
where they are in their menstrual cycles. Each will be put on
medication and monitored over a few weeks preparing for
egg retrieval and transfer of embryos. Most likely, the surrogate
would be on medication to regulate her cycle to that of the egg
donor and make her uterus ready for the transfer. The transfer of
the most viable embryos is normally anywhere between 3-5 days
after retrieval of the eggs to allow fertilisation. Physicians will
Once you have your final
matches, you need to think
about their contracts. In some
countries these may not be
legally enforceable.
usually not transfer any more than two embryos because of the
excellent success rates. By all means increase your chances transferring
two embryos, any more than two and there is an increased
chance, of a problematic pregnancy.
Now the wait begins!
8At this stage you’re looking for confirmation of pregnancy.
Pregnancy testing can be done after the 10th day. More than
likely your surrogate will have been pregnancy testing for
the past week and not told you about it! The hope is that we see
a positive result and you can sit back and enjoy the pregnancy.
9Obtaining Parental Rights. Depending on which country
your surrogate is giving birth in; you will have to follow a
different procedure. In the UK, you cannot apply for parental
rights for your baby until 6 weeks after birth. This is the surrogate’s
“cooling off period”. Even if the baby and surrogate have
no biological link, she is seen as the legal mother and has all the
rights associated with it.
In the USA, each State is different. California, allows you to
establish parental rights to an unborn child. From four months of
pregnancy, the courts can be petitioned to establish you as the legal
parents of any children born to your surrogate between two dates, it
also allows you to have your names placed on the birth certificate.
You should establish your parental rights during the first semester.
birth. From the moment your baby is born, it is your
responsibility to look after him or her. Depending on
10The
where your surrogate gives birth and the clinic’s views on
surrogacy you may need to do certain things. In California for
example, you will need to show the hospital a copy of the pre-birth
court order so protocols can be put in place for your baby to come
straight to you after the birth.
If your baby is born abroad and is with you, a paper copy of
the birth certificate is required to arrange for a passport with the
embassy to go home. Also, check with the airline at what age they
allow an infant to travel as all airline policies vary.
Happy Parenting!
Barrie Drewitt-Barlow is the head of social work at
the British Surrogacy Center, which has been involved
in same-sex parenting since 1994, with over half of
their team members having been through the process
of surrogacy and egg donation themselves. For more
info please visit www.britishsurrogacycentre.com
44 fertility road | may - june