Fertility Road Issue 44 May/June 2018

21
FERTILITY 360
Miles
Swimming in
Search of the
Meaning of
Motherhood
I sometimes feel ashamed of admitting that I went
through eleven rounds of IVF. Yes, ELEVEN. By
any account, it's the extreme end of the fertility
treatment spectrum. It remains a lasting symbol
of the depths of desperation and despair that
my pursuit of motherhood took me to which
I wrote about in my first book The Pursuit of
Motherhood that in turn led to me becoming a
columnist for Fertility Road magazine, founding
Fertility Fest fertilityfest.com and campaigning
to improve things for people who struggle
to conceive. It's also led to my new book – 21
Miles: Swimming in search of the meaning of
motherhood out in May.
I was 34 when my partner and I started trying to
conceive. I thought it was the perfect age. Like
many women, I’d spent my twenties trying not to
get pregnant. I’d gone to university, climbed the
career ladder, taken my time to find the perfect
man. Shortly after my 34th birthday we threw
away the contraception and started having sex
for the purpose nature intended – to make a baby.
That’s when I discovered that getting pregnant
isn’t necessarily that easy, especially in your mid
thirties. After a year of unprotected sex, ovulation
kits, and knicker-watch we made an appointment
with a fertility clinic. We were diagnosed with
‘Unexplained Infertility’ - the frustrating answer
given to roughly a third of people who struggle to
conceive. It’s a terrible diagnosis because it isn’t
really a diagnosis at all.
What followed was a decade long journey that
involved round after round of IVF, multiple
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