THE KNIGHT TIMES - March 2018

INSIDE 

Features 2 

Radish 6 

Entertainment 8 

Sports 9 

Opinions 10 

Arts Trips 

Groups head 

to various 

locations 

of learning 

The Radish 

The wait 

is over... 

Track 

Teams look 

to reclaim 

SPC titles 

Page 2 

Page 6-7 

Page 9 

THE KNIGHT TIMES 

Official Student Newspaper of Episcopal High School 

March 2018 4650 Bissonnet, Bellaire, Texas 77401 www.ehshouston.org Volume 33, Issue 7 

Recycling is 

more beneficial 

than many realize 

ELLIE RAGIEL 

Staff Writer 

EHS recycling begins with education 

Environmental efforts can only improve with better understanding 

Every high schooler in 2018 might 

remember the Disney Channel environmental 

campaigns aimed at getting young 

people to recycle. Think of Mitchell 

Musso, a young actor famous for his role 

on Hannah Montana at the time, singing 

his song “Reduce! Reuse! Recycle! (The 3 

Rs)” during the commercial break of one 

of your favorite shows, circa 2009. If you 

are a citizen of humanity (and not just an 

avid Disney Channel watcher), you have 

been fed some of the recycling Kool-Aid 

at one point or another. Recently, recycling 

has been on the minds of the EHS 

community as many students wonder 

what really happens to that water bottle 

or piece of paper they drop into one of 

the many blue bins on campus. But even 

after we are assured that our recyclables 

really make it to a recycling plant, what 

exactly is the greater environmental value 

of recycling? 

Since recycling first became mainstream 

in the late 20th century, critics have 

continually questioned whether it actually 

benefits the environment in a way that 

counterbalances the hassle and cost associated 

with recycling. The truth is that, in 

the Houston market especially, recycling 

is very economical and can even help 

businesses save money. 

On the environmental front, recycling 

first became the status quo because of 

the belief that American landfills were 

running out of space. While this has since 

been disproven by various studies, recycling 

is still worthwhile because it helps 

conserve raw material, reduces greenhouse 

gas emissions, and overall creates a 

much more sustainable society. 

Remember to always recycle and be 

informed on all the ways you can assist 

the process on the EHS campus. 

Mr. Kary Kemble utilizes one of the many recycling bins around campus to dispose of papers. EHS has recycling bins inclusive 

to all recyclable material, as well as specific bins for cans and bottles. By making a conscious effort to recycle, students can contribute 

to the recycling efforts around campus. Photo by Lauren Porter. 

By giving material to recycling plants, 

consumers help recycling companies as 

well as the environment. Image courtesy 

of papnews.com. 

ISABELLA GOODMAN 

Staff Writer 

In today’s world where society is 

constantly bombarded with information 

about environmental consciousness, we 

all know that it is important to make an 

effort to recycle. In every classroom and 

beside every printer at EHS, a blue recycle 

box sits and gets continually filled up, but 

many have wondered how much we actually 

recycle at EHS. 

In addition to the recycling bins, there 

are bottle recycling centers near the gym 

and other athletic venues. According to 

Mr. Robert Buckelew, director of facilities, 

EHS recycles all cardboard boxes 

that come from “food services, the campus 

store, athletics, and other departments 

as they receive large shipments.” The EHS 

recycle dumpster is emptied three times 

a week, and it is usually at capacity. In 

order to get this dumpster emptied more, 

we would need to have more recycled 

materials. 

How do we get better at recycling? 

Students need to be aware of what can and 

cannot be recycled because when nonrecyclables 

get put into the recycling bins, 

it can be costly and time-consuming to 

try and separate items out. When people 

throw their food into the recycling bins, 

it can contaminate the bag of recycling. 

When this happens, waste management 

has a right to throw recycling into the 

general trash. Overall, this undermines the 

effort to recycle. 

We have long heard PSAs and seen flyers 

about recycling, but many people still 

do not know what they can and cannot 

recycle. If we would truly like to “stand 

out,” we need to commit to being better 

when it comes to recycling. Mr. Buckelew 

urges the EHS community to make the 

recycling program a greater priority. We 

can do this by educating ourselves and 

making sure that we are all doing our part 

to recycle more.

2 The Knight Times 

Features 

D.C. among many locations visited by Arts Pillar 

ANGEL STRINGER 

Staff Writer 

The EHS Arts Pillar sponsored a variety 

of day trips and field trips recently, offering 

opportunities for further learning and 

fun through inspiring experiences. 

Members of the Publications Program 

took a tour of the Student Media Center 

at the University of Houston. On the trip, 

the staffs learned about the student-run 

Coog TV, Coog Radio, The Daily Cougar, 

and monthly magazine. UH students 

talked with visiting Knights about their 

experiences in the university program 

and showed off their various studios and 

newsrooms. 

Moviemakers in the Media Arts, specifically 

ETV, took a trip to the Houston 

Warehouse Studio to film a movie. The 

group, led by Mr. Pejman Milani, filmed 

a romance story, and Austin Reppert explained 

it as “a real-world experience for 

[the group].” 

On a trip to Fort Worth, members of 

Studio Arts viewed a glassblowing operation. 

Ms. Deborah Brock and Mr. David 

Trauba chaperoned a workshop in which 

two groups worked on two different projects. 

In the glass hot shop, a group created 

an egg paperweight, while the other group 

created a leaf-like piece of glass network- 

ing in the flame shop. 

In the Performing Arts, the theatre trip 

was to Washington, D.C., where the attending 

group learned about Shakespeare 

and had a great deal of fun exploring the 

city. The choir and band programs went to 

Six Flags in San Antonio where the band 

performed in one of the theaters; on the 

way, the choir performed three times in 

the Houston downtown Cistern. The Cistern, 

located in Buffalo Bayou and known 

for its seven-second echo, was “a wonderful 

experience,” according to sophomore 

Top, choir students perform at the Houston downtown Cistern Chapel. Above, Theater 

Program members stand outside the Folger Theater. Photos courtesy of EHS 

Facebook. 

Taylor Geames. 

Photography students stopped at the 

Battleship Texas State Historic Park, the 

Railroad museum, and the “tall ship” 

Elissa. They also observed College of the 

Mainland photography classes. 

The IMPACT dance group took a field 

trip to the Houston Theatre District and 

Austin respectively. 

Robotics flipping pancakes? 

ANGEL STRINGER 

Staff Writer 

All righty, Knights, saddle up. I absolutely 

love food and do you know what is 

even better than food? Robots that make 

your food. Have you ever heard of a robot 

that makes pancakes? No? That’s what I 

thought. 

Our EHS Robotics Club, under the direction 

of junior Kenneth Pereira, built a 

fully-functioning pancake-making robot. 

It is called “The PancakeBot” (trade mark 

symbol), and it is the world’s first food 

printer that has the capability of printing 

pancakes by automatically dispensing batter 

directly onto a griddle. You can also 

make your own designs to have them made 

into pancakes. 

GABRIELLE DUCOTE 

Staff Writer 

Seniors Ford and Marshall McCann are 

twin Knights who have been sailing competitively 

since the age of seven – roughly 

eleven years. 

They live part time in Kemah, giving 

them better access to the sport. The two 

train together on the same team, but they 

race individually in their own boats. They 

have sailed three different types of Olympic 

class boats: Laser, 49er, and Finn. 

The brothers have mastered the Laser 

Publications. Photo by Jay Berckley. 

The PancakeBot located in Mr. Alan Duncan’s classroom prepares to serve some 

breakfast. Photo by Angel Stringer. 

The designs can be uploaded via SD card, 

and you can make anything that comes to 

mind. Building the bot took the club an 

entire class period, but I think we can all 

agree that assembling the pieces was the 

easier side of the project. The Robotics 

Club had to design their own software for 

the machine itself. Wow, that is impressive. 

Amazing job, guys. 

Be on the lookout, EHS. You may see 

a bake sale coming around… get your designs 

ready. This is what we do at EHS: 

we amaze. Personally, I do not know about 

my fellow Knights, but I am constantly inspired 

by the little things everyone has to 

offer. 

You, too, can join Robotics Club next 

year and bring your ideas to life. Stand out, 

Knights! 

McCann twins master sailing 

sailboats as their specialties. Laser sailboats 

are the men’s standard weight singlehanded 

Olympic class boat. In the near future, 

the two hope to remain devoted to the 

Olympic Development Team to continue to 

improve their skills. Hopefully, their future 

will allow them to compete in the 2024 

Summer Olympic Games. 

Their sister, Haddon Hughes, an EHS 

alumna, is currently taking a hiatus from 

Georgetown University to focus on her 

Olympic campaign. Ford and Marshall are 

an ambitious duo who are dedicated to both 

EHS’s Four Pillars and Olympic sailing. 

Six-year-old Cami Pyne in the big kitchen, learning the skills that she would soon 

share with the EHS community in Cooking with Cami. Photo by Mrs. Pyne. 

Cooking with Cami 

CAMI PYNE 

Contributing Editor 

In the lovely month of March, spring leads 

to all things crisp, such as the refreshing 

warm air or a cool breeze. Perhaps most 

intriguing about spring is lemon season. 

Lemon Curd 

• ½ cup of fresh lemon juice 

• 2 teaspoons of lemon zest 

• ½ cup of sugar 

• 3 eggs 

• ¾ stick (6 tablespoons) of unsalted 

butter, cut into 2 cm. 

cubes 

Instructions: 

1. Combine lemon juice, zest, and eggs 

one at a time in a medium saucepan and 

cook over low heat at an almost constant 

whisk 

2. Add the butter 

3. Keep whisking until the lemon curd is 

thick and small bubbles appear 

4. Transfer the lemon curd to a strainer 

and then strain out the pieces of cooked 

egg 

5. Cool in the refrigerator for 1 hour 

The McCann brothers take a break from competition with a teammate. Photo courtesy 

of Ford and Marshall McCann.

Features 

'SU P with Soph 

SOPHIA HENRY 

Staff Writer 

If you’re looking for a prom date, then 

you’re in luck! This single and ready to 

have a dateingle is here for you. Here are 

some great qualities I possess that would 

make me the perfect gal to bring to prom: 

I cannot talk to adults, but I am telepathic. 

I write world renowned articles. 

I will not ask for flowers because they re 

mind me of how everything dies one day. 

I can break dance. 

I am not that photogenic, but since I’m 

a vampire, I don’t show up in photos 

anyway. 

I am desperate. 

I own a horse, so we will not need to 

pay for a limo. 

I get nervous in social situations, but to 

compensate I breathe heavily and faint. 

I know how to ruin someone’s life. 

I can speek won langige 

Now, to stay truthful to my date… I offer 

a list of negatives: 

I sweat profusely. 

Sometimes when the music’s too loud, I 

transport to another realm. 

I have odd tendencies. 

My parents will take photos of you until 

your soul is completely captured. 

One of my legs goes limp when not 

charged properly. 

Boys have never talked to me for more 

than 3 minutes… wonder why. 

The doctor said I may or may not have 

leprosy… but don’t worry! I don’t think 

it’s contagious! 

When I absorbed my twin in the womb, 

half of his face remained on my foot, so I 

cannot wear heels. 

Dresses make me uncomfortable, so 

I will wear a full body Knight’s armor. 

Great for war and prom! 

I have a curfew of 5:30 PM. It’s court 

mandated. No further questions. 

The Knight Times 3 

Choices speaker focuses 

on issues of drug abuse 

CAMI PYNE 


The Choices Program held an event 

on March 7 when Maureen Wittels, the 

mother of the deceased writer and actor 

of Parks and Recreation Harris Wittels, 

spoke to those assembled. 

Her speech was empowering and 

detailed how, no matter what privilege 

you were born with or how good your life 

seems, you can still become an addict. 

The March Choices topic is technology 

addiction and how people who use 

technology heavily are more likely to have 

anxiety or depression. Extreme social media 

has been linked to poor sleep, anxiety, 

and depression. Its effects are as serious as 

substance addictions to alcohol, cocaine, 

and cannabis. Sleeping with your phone 

in your hand can lead to not being able to 

sleep at all. 

The EHS Choices counselor, Mrs. Sam 

Schaff, encourages us during the Lenten 

season to look up and have face-to-face 

interactions. 

Lascaux Cow will get new design in upcoming weeks 

LAUREN PORTER 

Editor-in-Chief 

The “Lascaux Cow” sculpture located in 

front of the Band Hall has a rich history, 

though many in the EHS community are 

not aware of its background. 

The cow has stood on campus since 

2001, after a parent sponsored the sculpture 

in the Houston Cow Parade. The parade 

benefitted Texas Children’s Hospital 

and offered cow sculptures from various 

artists in an auction. 

The cow at EHS is named the “Lascaux 

Cow” in recognition of the Lascaux cave 

paintings in France. The famous cave 

paintings depict the larger animals that 

lived in France during the Paleolithic Age, 

including cows. Soon, the cow will be 

refurbished, and there are openings for 

new design ideas. 

The National Art Honor Society will 

help sand the fiberglass cow and prime 

the cow for new artwork. Design entries 

are open to all, and NAHS sponsor Mrs. 

Sharon Willcutts “hope[s] the cow will be 

Image courtesy of fotosearch.com. 

based in the school colors.” 

If you have any suggestions for a new 

design, be sure to contact Mrs. Willcutts 

about the cow. 

Photo by Preston Witt. 

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Features 

Rush without the stress 

ELLIOTT JONES 

Staff Writer 

As seniors continue to finalize their acceptances 

to colleges and universities 

across the country, one thing that might be 

on some of their minds is getting into the 

sorority or fraternity of their choice in the 

fall. This process, ensuring membership 

and great friends for life, is especially specific, 

more so for sororities than fraternities. 

Fraternity rush is a more informal process. 

While every school has a formal 

fraternity recruitment period, there often 

are more informal practices prior to the 

beginning of the school year. Boys should 

consult the Interfraternity Council at their 

school of choice for more information. 

Sorority recruitment is much more involved. 

First, consult your college choice 

website to read about and register for rush, 

usually through a Panhellenic Council. 

Each year at the end of February, Houston 

Alumnae Panhellenic Association holds a 

round table discussion of the recruitment 

process for high school seniors who are 

prospective sorority members. Although it 

has already taken place this year, the following 

is suggested information to prepare 

a packet for sorority recruitment. 

The first step is to get photos taken. 

While this may sound odd, sororities want 

to know who will walk through their doors 

so that they can recognize and greet you. 

These photos do not have to be professionally 

taken, but they must represent you 

well. Two to three photos are recommended, 

including one headshot and one full 

body photo. Make sure to put your name, 

high school, future university, hometown, 

and year in school, usually freshman. The 

photos should be printed, not digital. You 

will add these to your resume and letters 

of support. 

The second step is to start organizing 

your social resume. This should include 

everything from your academic standings 

and success in high school to extracurricular 

activities. Let these sororities know 

your best qualities and how you are different 

from the other recruits. You also need 

to list your sorority legacy information. 

Although the term “legacy” varies among 

sororities based on whether they count 

aunts and cousins, make sure to put any 

and all family members. 

The third step is to include a copy of your 

high school transcript. Make sure to add 

any ACT or SAT scores if they are not already 

on it. 

The fourth step is to find an alumna (or 

sponsor) from each sorority to write a reference 

information form (RIF) or a recommendation 

letter (REC). She will send this 

form either to the local Recruitment Chairman 

of her sorority or directly to your university. 

If you are still undecided, she will 

then put a note on your RIF/REC of the 

schools you are considering. If you decide 

soon after that, contact her immediately. 

In case that you have decided to change 

schools after having already sent in your 

RIF/REC, make a new packet with these 

forms and contact all of your sorority sponsors. 

The fifth step is to have a letter of support 

from a close alumna (friend or relative) 

of one of your considered sororities. 

While this is optional for some sororities, 

it is important to choose someone who will 

write great things about you and will also 

get a little more personal than what is in 

your RIF/REC. Make sure that you do not 

send more than two or three of these letters 

from the same sorority to your sponsor to 

include in your packet. 

The sixth and final step is to have a clean 

social network. Although members of the 

sororities are not supposed to contact you 

on Instagram, Snapchat, or Facebook before 

the recruitment process, there is a good 

chance that they will look you up. Security 

settings, sharing personal information, private 

photos, and accepting friends are all 

things these sororities consider during the 

recruitment process. Make sure to add any 

of your accounts to your resume. 

Note that all universities have their own 

way of recruiting and forms they want. 

These steps are just an outline of what 

most would like to see. For examples of 

resumes, sorority requirements, and more 

information about the process, go to www. 

houston-panhellenic.org/recruitment/recruitment.htm 

or contact sorority alumni. 

LAUREN PORTER 


El rodeo es un evento muy popular del 

Houston. Cada año, hay un cantante o una 

banda hispana que actúa para “El Día de 

Go Tejano.” El Día de Go Tejano tiene 

muchos actividades aparte del concierto. 

Otras actividades incluyen un concurso 

de mariachi y Fiesta Charra. La Fiesta 

Charra tiene música y baile tradicional 

de México. Este año, la banda Calibre 

50 actuó para El Día de Go Tejano. Sus 

canciones más populares son “Siempre 

Te Voy a Querer,” “Corrido de Juanito,” 

y “Amor del Bueno.” En general, El Día 

de Go Tejano fue una celebración de la 

cultura y la música hispana. 

PRESTON WITT 

Staff Writer 

Good evening, my fellow pupils. I hope 

that everyone had an exciting and/or 

relaxing Spring Break. As our seniors are 

ready to take their first steps in graduating 

from EHS, I hope they will be able to look 

back and reflect on their careers and the 

legacies they leave with these intelligent 

questions. 

What was your favorite moment? 

EHS SPEAKS OUT 

How do you Stand Out? 

Your Spanish Corner 

A Complete and 

Utter Lack of Witt 

Calibre 50 performed at the Rodeo for 

Go Tejano Day on March 11 to close out 

the day of fun festivities. Go Tejano Day 

offered a mariachi competition and displays 

of traditional Mexican dance and 

culture. Photo courtesy of stubhub.com. 

Will you continue to play Fortnite even 

with the academic workload in college? 

If you could change anything about 

what you did at EHS, what would it be? 

Will you be dropping at Loot Lake or 

Tilted Towers? 

If you could tell your freshman self 

something before your high school 

career even started, what would you tell 

him or her? 

TANNER FOX 

“Good sense of humor” 

NICOLE HOPWOOD 

“My hair” 

HARRIS INOFF 

“My large cabeza” 

IMAN LLOYD 

“I’m loud” 

MR. MICHAEL 

“Being myself and 

embracing my strengths 

and shortcomings” 

LEANN DROMGOOLE 

“Sports” 

MAX MADISON 

“My laugh” 

TYLER DONOVAN 

“My personality” 

OMAR DENMON 

“My smile” 

MRS. WATTS 

“Oldest coach in SPC 

besides Coach Leisz”

Academics 

Math Club celebrates Pi Day 

ANNA MOISE 

Guest Writer 

The Math Club’s Pre Pi Day Celebration 

on March 9, 2018 attracted students 

and faculty with a selection of sweets and 

math contests. From cookies to bundt 

cakes to brownies with pi’s on them, the 

Math Club went full force to celebrate Pi 

Day. 

Members of the Math Club participated 

by bringing delicious baked goods, 

prizes for the contest, and decorations 

for the tables, or they manned the booth 

during 5A and 5B lunches. Two of the 

three tables had a range of items for sale 

to support the Math Club and Mu Alpha 

Theta. The last table housed a selection of 

games, puzzles, and math problems, all of 

which contributed to the math contest. 

Sponsor of the Math Club, Dr. Papakonstantinou 

and many other club members 

wore their new Math Club shirts to 

celebrate mathematics as well. 

Thank you to all those who participated 

in the Pre Pi Day Celebration, whether 

you supported the bake sale, completed a 

math test, or helped out at the booth. 


Pillar leadership positions 

open in a variety of areas 

GABRIELLE DUCOTE 

Staff Writer 

As spring approaches, Episcopal has 

many opportunities for students to obtain 

leadership positions. This is a time for 

students to participate in unique activities 

to challenge themselves and become 

involved in the community. 

There are many ways students can 

embody leadership on campus, such as 

becoming a student speaker, joining an 

honor society, participating in SOS, or 

running for a student officer position. As 

a time to step up and promote leadership, 

this is also a great time to stand out as 

EHS students. 

Future seniors have the opportunity 

to share their personal stories as senior 

speakers and inspire their fellow classmates. 

Class registration gives students 

the ability to apply for AP or honors 

classes that will stretch their thinking 

and test their strengths and weaknesses 

academically. It also is a time to participate 

in arts classes to expand interests and 

experiences. 

National Honor Society is an elite group 

that supports and awards those with advanced 

academic achievement. Similarly, 

National Arts Honor Society, one of the 

most successful and widely recognized 

associations on campus, honors those who 

are impressively sophisticated in their 

talents within the arts. 

In the Religion Pillar, acolyte positions 

are opening up and roles within the Chapel 

Committee are available for student 

applications. The Students of Service 

(SOS) association on campus is accepting 

applications for leadership positions for 

specific projects that the group takes on. 

Student Senate and Student Council are 

also looking for Knights to take office and 

participate in next year’s student government. 

Math Club leads an amazing Pi Day celebration full of pies, candy, and cakes! Ellie 

Ragiel, Anna St. Denis, Sarah Andrews, and Bronwyn Walsh helped during the 

event. Image courtesy of Dr. Papakonstantinou. 

AP tests quickly approaching 

PATRICK BAYOUTH 

Staff Writer 

The AP program at Episcopal includes 

22 classes with hundreds of EHS students 

taking them. Many of us have questions.. 

What should we do? 

As practice AP tests and actual AP tests 

quickly approach, many students have 

begun frantically studying for these extremely 

important college credit exams. 

There is a wide variety of AP classes 

offered at Episcopal High School, which 

gives students opportunities to push their 

limits and possibly earn a college credit in 

the process. Aside from the college credit, 

an AP course can help a student become 

a better, more efficient studier and put 

together a more appealing transcript for 

colleges. 

Taking an AP class in high school and 

passing the AP test leads to not having to 

take that class in college, therefore saving 

money and time. By passing an AP course, 

you will not have to take that class ever 

again. 

The amount of stress they bring may 

seem daunting, yet these courses are an 

investment for each student’s future. They 

can make college both more manageable 

and fun at the same time. For those getting 

ready for the upcoming AP tests, here are 

a few study tips: 

1. Get a good night’s sleep before the test. 

2. Eat a good breakfast. 

3. Cramming does not work. 

Good luck to all students taking AP tests 

this year. 

Leadership opportunities are great ways to meet other students and excel in a certain 

category. Leadership positions are encouraged to all students, as leaders are 

taught responsibility and how to work with others. Image courtesy of soyouwanttobealeader.com. 

Code Wars computer programming 

contests challenge young developers 

Computer science students Aidan Stewart, Alexandra Herrera, Kenneth Pereira, 

Sam Lee, and Sam Elmer competed in a Code Wars competition recently, a computer 

programming team challenge. Photo courtesy of EHS website. 

Taking AP courses can be challenging, but also beneficial when preparing students 

for college. Image courtesy of fresnou.org. 

DANIEL DAVIS 

Staff Writer 

The competition known as Code Wars 

is a computer-programming contest for 

high school students around Houston. 

The competition has been hosted on 

Hewlett-Packard’s campus in Houston 

for 15 years. Over the past four years, the 

competition has been hosted across the 

world in cities such as Austin, Bangalore, 

Palo Alto, Roseville, and Taipei. 

Recently, students in Mr. Alan Duncan’s 

computer science class competed 

in this competition. The students include 

Daniel Kai, Sam Elmer, Kenneth Pereira, 

and Sam Lee who used their skills and 

knowledge from class to participate in the 

annual CodeWars competition. 

In 2015, the competition expanded to 

Barcelona and Newcastle. With this event 

quickly growing in popularity and publicity, 

it is spreading in more cities each year. 

No Code Wars event is complete without 

a wide array of attractions: wide ranges of 

programming challenges, plenty of food, 

music, a high-tech feel, and an abundance 

of giveaways. 

Junior Jackson Williams added, “The 

high schoolers enjoy the competitive and 

stimulating environment.” 

The energetic atmosphere pushes the 

students to learn and compete. At the 

conclusion of the CodeWars competition, 

the top two teams are awarded trophies 

in addition to prizes such as computers, 

software, monitors, and many other accessories.


THE RADISH THE RADISH 

7 

FDA says “told you so” as youth nearly succumbs to sauce 

NEW ORLEANS - A sauce overload was the 

culprit in an incident this past Thursday outside 

a Chick-fil-A, resulting in injury to a young male 

customer. The smallish boy, later identified as 

EHS junior Patrick Bayouth, was overcome by the 

sauce choices available at the establishment, and 

he was literally “lost in the sauce.” 

Bayouth, a devourtee of the epicurean order 

Knights of the Overindulgent Sauce and its leader/ 

gourmand Hunter Megarity, was rushed to the 

hospital in taste bud arrest, and attending doctors 

confirmed that he partook in too much sauce – his 

body simply shutdown due to the vast amounts. 

When asked why he gorged, Bayouth blushed, “I 

just love it too much; I don’t know when enough is 

enough.” 

The naive youth clearly ignored the posted 

sauce-to-bite ratio, which could have saved him 

from his saucy fandango. The Food and Drug 

Administration’s (FDA) recommended daily dip 

allowance of sauce is clear and among some of 

the fundamental rules of condiment eating. Diners 

should dip their chicken or fries in sauce as much 

as they desire, but the ratio should never surpass 

1:1. Bayouth claims he had never heard of this 

rule, but he wishes he knew about it prior to getting 

lost. 

Fortnite tryouts begin among SPC schools 

EA SPORTS - Everyone has heard of Fortnite 

by now and how it is quickly taking the world 

by storm. Whether you are a parent trying to pry 

your son away from the TV screen or a girlfriend 

yearning for attention from your man, this game 

has blown up over the past few months. 

For those who do not know what Fortnite is, it 

is a PvP (Player vs Player) video game for Xbox, 

Playstation, or PC where 100 players drop into a 

map and try to eliminate each other until the last 

man wins. The players parachute into the map with 

no equipment while trying to find resources and 

weapons to survive. 

Recently, there have been many proposals presented 

to Athletic Director Jason Grove and the administration 

about adding a new sport to the school 

- a Fortnite Battle Royale team which will compete 

in tournaments against other SPC schools to get 

the most Victory Royales. The school has accepted 

this proposal and they think it is a great idea. The 

Gray embraces Tar Heel commitment 

UNC News - EHS junior Galen Gray is a 

woman of many words. No words came to mind 

(shockingly) last week, however, after a horrifying 

accident took place at her home just a few minutes 

after 8:00 Monday night. 

Galen had just returned from a grueling day at 

school. She had missed the first half of her Spanish 

test because she overslept after catching the redeye 

in from Chapel Hill the night before – where 

she was hanging out with friends and cheering on 

the UNC Tar Heels, while they played Syracuse 

(notice that she was not at the EHS v Kinkaid 

baseball game…). 

Señor Warren refused to extend her time on the 

test – not that it really mattered - she’s already 

collegiately committed, after all – and the day just 

went downhill from there. Her Tar Heel sweatshirt 

got stained at lunch and she accidentally chipped 

her Carolina blue nail polish during sixth period. 

All in all, it was not shaping up to be a good day. 

Definitely not the day a UNC field hockey commit 

should be having. 

When she returned home that night, everything 

was normal. She texted with her friends in her 

UNC group chat; reminded her other, non-commit 

friends that, no, she was not taking the ACT this 

weekend because, duh, she’s already committed; 

and fixed that pesky chip in her Carolina blue nail 

polish. Around 8:05 p.m., however, when she went 

to get her field hockey stick out of her car for its 

nightly wax and polish, a shriek could be heard 

throughout the neighborhood. Galen quickly called 

Doctors believe Bayouth will fully recover, 

though it is a long road ahead for the sauce enthusiast. 

They advise others to follow FDA guidelines, 

In an April Fools Day demonstration of creativity, The Knight Times proudly presents The Radish, 

a collection of news stories that failed to meet the final cut - in both quality and fact-finding. 

and heed the words of rapper Gucci Mane: “If a 

man does not have the sauce, then he is lost. But 

the same man can be lost in the sauce.” 

Local high school student Patrick Bayouth lies helpless in a sea of sauce. FDA officials are warning 

the public about these toxic encounters with condiments. Photo by Isabel Young. 

only negative being the loss of many athletes from 

other school programs. 

Junior Will Keenan exclaimed, “I have been 

waiting for this day my whole life. We Fortniters 

have been suppressed for too long! I wasn’t contributing 

to football any time soon, but now I can 

make a real difference in the Athletic Pillar.” 

Senior Reed Stanley agreed, “I have been hoping 

to be able to show off my skills in something 

before graduating.” 

Tryouts will be held in the Alkek Gym on April 8 

from 4:00 – 6:00 p.m. 

The EHS Athletic Pillar encourages everyone 

who believes he or she is a good enough player to 

be a part of the team to compete for a spot on the 

squad. 

Aspiring Fortniters are asked to bring their own 

controller or keypad and written consent and 

acknowledgement of disappointment from their 

parents. 

the police to report the theft of her prized UNC 

bumper sticker off the back of her car. 

The bumper sticker has still not been returned, 

but Galen’s not fretting – no need to worry – she’s 

still committed. 

Junior Galen Gray sports some of the swag that 

comprises most if not all of her closet. Photo by 

David Framel. 

Junior Will Kennan puts baseball, football, and 

academics aside in pursuit of his Fortnite dream. 

Photo by Daniel Davis. 

Radish Root: Investigative dig 

FYI, EHS’ JD GTG 2 SJS RN, BTW 

ESPN - In a surprise move that will have an 

immediate impact on the Athletics Pillar, Episcopal 

HS junior Jaylen Davis officially announced his 

transfer to the St. John’s School this past Friday. 

Davis originally transferred to EHS from St. 

Thomas High School and is a three-sport varsity 

athlete in basketball, football, and track. All 

the programs have voiced their concern about 

the effect his departure will have on their future 

success. Dismissing speculation that it was all fake 

news, Davis categorically confirmed that he will 

be trading his Knight blue for Maverick red: “I like 

horses.” 

Davis added, “I knew from the moment I came to 

EHS, I wasn’t planning on staying very long.” 

He was an essential part of the Knights football 

and basketball teams, and his talent on the field 

and court is going to be irreplaceable. 

“I am looking forward to getting numerous dubs, 

and we will see you on the other side at SPC next 

year. Go Mavericks!” 

Smith was former SAE president, embraced Greek life 

Panhellenic Association of America - Mr. 

Travis Smith is known on the Episcopal High 

School campus in Bellaire, Texas, as a renowned 

soccer coach with three SPC championships to his 

credit, for his enthusiastic approach to the rendering 

of history to his students, and as a former 

Adler Award winner; however, new information is 

emerging that uncovers a different Mr. Smith, one 

with an unfortunate and hidden past. 

Ask anyone who has spent five minutes with 

the man and he or she will tell you that Mr. Smith 

despises the frat culture, best seen in the mockery 

he makes of Greek life, especially its foolish traditions 

and trends, but it has recently been discovered 

that Mr. Smith has clearly been repressing his 

glory days as a former President of an SAE chapter. 

Deep-rooted Radish investigation has exposed 

that he owns clothes from the Vineyard Vines 

“Frat Bros for Life” collection, Ralph Lauren’s 

“Horse Meat is Good Meat,” and Southern Tides “I 

Only Wear Fishing Gear Even Though I’ve Never 

Fished a Day in My Life” line. He even exclusively 

wears khaki shorts from the “Khaki Shorts Go 

with Everything MOM!” collection, along with a 

couple of coral-colored shorts. He refuses to drink 

out of any cup that is not Yeti and loves to wear 

Social experiment 

goes horribly wrong 

HOUSTON DMV - In what sources describe as 

a poorly thought out collaboration of departments 

in a local college prep high school, dozens of rear 

bumpers on the vehicles of faculty and students 

will soon be off to the repair shop for replacement. 

Members of the Episcopal High School community 

in Bellaire, Texas, were encouraged by the 

school’s History Department and Facilities Department 

to drive in reverse on the campus for a day to 

“promote an appreciation for where we have been 

while taking advantage of spacious driveway and 

parking areas” resulting from the school’s years of 

new construction. 

“Our ultimate goal was for students to gain a 

sense of the importance of looking back at where 

they have been to better understand where they are 

going,” said History instructor Shelly Edmonds. 

“Maybe we didn’t think it through.” 

Facilities personnel declined comment. 

“It was like bumper cars,” beamed junior Cole 

Aaronson. “We should make a day of it.” 

Future cooperative efforts have been put on hold 

for board review. 

“I Ubered over when I heard the announcement,” 

said math teacher Mark Raggett. “Statistically, it 

wasn’t going to work.” 

Other forward-thinking members of the community 

also chose not to participate. 

New Mav Jaylen Davis. Photo courtesy of papercitymag.com 

and by David Framel. 

Patagonia when the weather gets a bit chilly. 

If you go to the golf course on the weekends, 

then you will surely see Mr. Smith driving the golf 

cart into the lake and at the gun range shooting 

some old root beer cans #tfm. The only pair of sunglasses 

that can properly block the sun for him are 

obviously Ray Bans, which he regularly wears 

indoors - for no reason. 

Mr. Smith purposely came to EHS in order to 

recruit mini-frat brotheren to carry on his SAE legacy. 

He is constantly listening in the halls for boys 

who talk like potential frat bros. He has been heard 

more than once using catch phrases in an attempt 

to draw in the future fratty, such as “SUH BRUH,” 

“Dude, Mexico was lit,” “Yo, you wanna bop on 

back to the frat castle?,” “Should I order the mint 

green polo or the George W. Blue?,” “You’re the 

only girl I’m talking to,” “Gotta get them gainz,” 

and the ever popular “frat-astic.” 

A rare image of Mr. Smith in his frat gear at an 

SAE alumni weekend gathering. Photo courtesy 

of SAE Lehigh Chapter Facebook. 

Flat Earth Chapter 

catching on at EHS 

MIRROR ONLINE - A brief interview with 

the leader of EHS’s newly established Flat Earth 

Society Chapter, Anna McLauchlin. 

What made start advocating for the Flat Earth 

Society and institute a chapter at EHS? 

I became passionate about advocating for Flat 

Earth after realizing just how irresponsible it is to 

keep a secret like this. The government doesn’t 

realize that by continually lying to people to such 

extremes, something horrific is going to happen - 

like people falling off the edge of the earth. 

How do you explain Elon Musk’s recent launch 

of his Tesla Model X into space? 

Obviously, this is the case of people blindly believing 

everything they see on the Internet – just 

as people blindly believe everything seen on TV in 

Neil Armstrong’s moon landing days. 

So you don’t think Neil Armstrong landed on 

the moon? 

That’s impossible since the moon is just a hologram. 

Have you found that there are other Flat Earth 

supporters such as yourself at EHS? 

Of course – the Flat Earth Society has followers 

around the globe. 

Wait… did you just say… 

Sorry, I’ve got to go to track practice. Bye. 

The stars advise you to proceed with caution 

before “hopping on the battle bus” for that next 

Fortnite game. Your fingers are starting to turn 

orange from all the Cheetos dust. 

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SURELOCK HOMES 

Security and Surveillance Products 

What “lies” behind the beard? 

JUST FOR MEN - When people think of beautiful 

facial hair and EHS, generally their reverie 

turns to Mr. Dan Binder. 

His luxurious beard wraps around his face like a 

blanket around a baby, and its texture calls to mind 

a young antelope without a mother. Many reflect 

in awe at how that beard has coexisted on campus 

under the watchful eye of its owner, even earning 

“separate entity” status in his health plan along 

with a small at-work stipend from the Religion 

Pillar. Little did members of the EHS community 

suspect that it was all one huge lie. 

One day after school, students heading to their 

cars spotted Mr. Binder seated upright in his own 

vehicle, looking intently into the rearview mirror 

with a concerted glare in his eyes. What followed 

next shook the very foundation of the community. 

Mr. Binder began to slowly remove the beard, and 

in so doing exposed his bare chin to the world. 

The beard - source of identification, the first thing 

To find out what the stars say, read the forecast given for your birth sign 

ARIES 

MAR 21 - APR 19 

This week you will discover the falsehood of 

the statement “there are no stupid ideas.” The 

stars wish you all the best trying to get your toe 

unstuck from the bath faucet. 

TAURUS 

APR 20 - MAY 20 

The stars foresee no major changes to your life 

this week – which, in your case, is quite unfortunate. 

GEMINI 

MAY 21 - JUNE 20 

The powers-that-be predict a sequence of strange 

dreams in your future - think “kidnapped by 

Quentin Tarantino’s version of The Little Einsteins.” 

Unfortunately, we cannot tell you what 

they mean. 

CANCER 

JUNE 21 - JULY 22 

The stars hazily predict a D on a poetry writing 

assignment in English next week. You may want 

to invest in a black turtleneck and a pair of thickrimmed 

glasses before it is too late. 

LEO 

JULY 23 - AUG 22 

You will meet a mysterious ginger who will 

coerce you into participating in his performance 

art piece next week. The stars hope you don’t 

mind getting your hands dirty and aren’t allergic 

to mayonnaise. 

VIRGO 

AUG 23 - SEPT 22 

through a door, and his constant companion - was 

a wig. The beard, admired and loved by all, was 

simply a plastic sham, made in a factory. Images 

were blown and hearts sunk in disappointment. 

What’s real? What’s a lie? Who else is hiding 

behind a wig of lies? 

Photo courtesy of ydsinfo.yale.edu. 

LIBRA 

SEPT 23 - OCT 22 

You will be on the brink of reaching total 

enlightenment next Sunday night, until you are 

interrupted with the thought that you are really 

craving some chips and queso. 

SCORPIO 

OCT 23 - NOV 21 

The powers-that-be promise an exciting romantic 

experience for Taurus, which really sucks, since 

you’re a Scorpio. 

SAGITTARIUS 

NOV 22 - DEC 21 

The stars want to encourage you, dear Sagittarius, 

to channel your inner Savage-tarrius this week. 

They suggest un-tucking your shirt, wearing 

some non-EHS outerwear, and getting a tray at 

lunch. 

CAPRICORN 

DEC 22 - JAN 19 

For reasons beyond fates control, you will be 

transported back to November of 2011. We hope 

you kept your hair feathers and are willing to 

participate in the plank challenge. 

AQUARIUS 

JAN 20 - FEB 18 

Your entire week will be derailed after you can’t 

remember the name of that one movie where that 

blonde guy finally gets with the brunette girl and 

they work together to solve Tupac’s murder. 

PISCES 

FEB 19 - MAR 20 

Next week your teacher will discover that you are 

the type of person who listens to your horoscope. 

Your grade will plummet.


Entertainment 

Black Panther continues to break box office records 

OMAR DENMON 

Guest Writer 

Second-biggest solo superhero movie 

ever. First movie to top the weekend box 

office five times in a row since Avatar. 

Fourteenth largest grosser worldwide 

ever. Need I say more? After only a month 

since its release, Marvel’s Black Panther 

is already breaking records that many 

other blockbuster movies could only imagine 

reaching. With action-packed fighting 

scenes, an amazing soundtrack, and a deep 

and emotional plot, this movie has every 

aspect that makes it a hit at the box office. 

Though the ticket sales for Black 

Panther are astounding because of its 

entertainment value, the movie sends a 

powerful message that has resulted in 

positive reviews from critics and casual 

movie watchers. Rather than portraying 

what it means to be black in America or 

Africa, Black Panther’s ability to incorporate 

both into its plot is what sets it apart 

from other movies in its category. 

The movie revolves around an advanced 

civilization in Africa called Wakanda and 

follows the struggle of King T’Challa, 

who is gifted the powers of the Black Panther 

to protect the nation from the outside 

world. With an all-star cast including 

Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, 

Angela Bassett, and many more, there was 

no doubt that this movie had the potential 

to be groundbreaking for spreading 

African culture into a society that has 

little to no knowledge about it. Without 

an excellent performance from Boseman 

and supporting cast, this movie would 

have gone down as one of the biggest 

blunders in cinematic history due to the 

April promises diverse new music 


Staff Writer 

hype surrounding it. However, every cast 

member did an excellent job in fulfilling 

his or her role and took the movie to a 

different level. 

The Marvel cinematic universe has 

made history by having an African-American 

director with a predominantly black 

cast make a movie that has been critically 

acclaimed. Black Panther has undoubtedly 

made its name in the film world but 

has also made waves in society by bringing 

awareness of African culture in North 

America. It has also sent a strong political 

message, resulting in African-American 

activists starting a political movement 

called #WakandaTheVote, encouraging 

voting among blacks. 

As the first black superhero film in a 

world that has primarily focused on white 

superheroes, Black Panther underlines 

society’s treatment of black and white 

Americans. In recent years, African-Americans 

have been treated with a renewed 

series of prejudicial attacks. NFL players 

are now unable to kneel in protest without 

harsh criticism from the President, team 

owners, or many of the fans. A recent 

comment from President Trump regarding 

an African country has also raised tension 

between the two most prominent ethnic 

groups in the U.S. 

Due to this shift in the social fabric, 

Black Panther is a movie that is essential 

in boosting African-American morale at a 

time when there is a rising disconnect in 

racial equality. Black Panther is not only 

a movie that is just relatable for African-Americans 

but serves as caution that 

freedom gained by systems of oppression 

does not liberate us, but further enslaves 

us, which can be applied to everyone. 

As summer quickly approaches, many 

musicians are gearing up for summer tours 

and festivals, and April is a one of the last 

few months that is not jam-packed with 

new music and news. 

That being said, here is what is going on 

for this month in music. 

Several artists are coming out with new 

albums. These artists include Kimbra, 

Tinashe, Kali Uchis, Willie Nelson, 

Janelle Monáe, the Eels, Unknown Mortal 

Orchestra, Lord Huron, and Jason Aldean. 

In Houston news, In Bloom and the Rodeo 

were both last month and this month, 

there are several big shows taking place. 

Here some of the acts coming to Houston 

this April: Foo Fighters (April 18), 

Miguel (April 3), Jack White (April 30), 

Haim (April 25), Eric Church (April 27), 

King Krule (April 9), and Matt and Kim 

(April 13). 

Record Store Day takes place on Saturday, 

April 21. 

Rare and unreleased David Bowie 

albums are coming out; Brian Eno and 

Kevin Shields are releasing a 12” together, 

the National is releasing a live album, Arcade 

Fire is reissuing their debut EP, Sufjan 

Stevens is releasing a 10” of his songs 

from the Oscar-nominated movie “Call 

Me By Your Name,” and Led Zeppelin is 

issuing previously unreleased music. 

For the most part, that’s it for April. 

May is going to be a big month as the 

summer starts. 

The Marvel film Black Panther makes millions with its prominent message to all. 

Photo by thegeektwins.com. 

Young and Hungry 

The versatile, vibrant radish. Image courtesy of splendidtable.org. 

Photo by blackbirdautomotivejournal.com. 

ISABEL YOUNG 

Staff Writer 

Happy Radish month! In recognition of 

The Knight Times Radish and April Fool’s 

day present to you, my readers, I will be 

addressing the mysterious vegetable, the 

radish. 

Do you know how many differen foods 

radishes appear in? The options are 

endless. Radishes are in/on avocado toast, 

salads, or dishes like steak or chicken as 

décor (or if you are really feeling risky, to 

eat). 

Some people’s favorite radish variation 

is horseradish; of course, with my love of 

sauce, I think this is the best form of the 

mighty radish. I mean, seriously, how can 

sauce not be the best form of anything? 

When asked his opinion of radishes, 

Director of Staff for the KT, Mr. Framel, 

commented that “they have a unique color 

and a sting, if you will, making them 

excellent to eat.” 

I could not agree more! The vibrant 

radish red makes them draw you in and 

want to put them on top of everything to 

add flavor and esthetic appeal. 

So if you don’t eat radishes already with 

everything, I recommend you start! Happy 

radishing everybody! 

(Hah. Just kidding. April Fools. I don’t 

like radishes. They’re gross!)

Sports 

BASEBALL 

Sports 

Brief 

The varsity baseball team has started the 

season with an impressive 10-4-1 record. 

Episcopal has been ranked the number one 

private high school in Texas with key wins 

over Lutheran South, Barbers Hill, and 

nationally ranked Cy Ranch. 

The team looks to continue their winning 

streak as they move into SPC play. 

Behind the senior leadership of Peter 

Geib, Hunter Megarity, Jack Grams, Luke 

Anderson, Antonio Cruz, Justin Fox, and 

Joe Davis, the Knights hope to win their 

second consecutive SPC Championship. 


Records falling in track and field in 2018 

SYDNEY HUTCHINS 

Managing Editor 

Over its past few meets, the track team 

has been hammering the records chart 

with multiple first places and many personal 

records. 

In the first race of the season at the 

Strake Jesuit Crusader Relays, the varsity 

had six athletes place in the top ten in 

four events. At the St. John’s Maverick 

Relays, Kenny Otah placed first in the 

100 meters and Jamie Tatum placed first 

in discus. Five second place and third 

place finishes and five personal records 

accompanied these accomplishments. The 

Knights also had another great showing at 

the Kinkaid Relays in which the girls team 

placed third. Eight personal records in addition 

to Daniel Cai’s first place personal 

record in the 110m hurdles highlighted the 

performance. Senior Kansas Watts also 

had a first in long jump and Jamie Tatum 

came in first in discus, setting a new EHS 

record of 131’7 that had stood since 2003. 

Lastly, in the TSU Relays over the break, 

the Knights had six personal records set at 

the meet. 

According to Head Coach Isaiah Coleman, 

“The track and field team is off to a 

great start this season. Several studentathletes 

have already set personal records 

and even EHS school records. That’s 

awesome considering how early in the 

season we still are. Now that we are back 

from spring break, the six-week push 

towards SPC begins. With our upperclassmen 

leadership and young talent, we will 

be able to finish out the season strong at 

SPC with even more personal records and 

hopefully a few more EHS school records. 

We want to be at our best at SPC!” 

The JV had a strong start to the season 

as well at the JV League Track Meet at 

Houston Christian where they had a few 

personal bests set. Athletes Colton Deutsh, 

Obe Lewis, Aaron Deutsh, and Xavier 

Fefie placed first in their 4 x100m relay. 

Elizabeth Nottingham placed first in the 

400 meters, and Catalina Rendon placed 

first in pole vault. 

GIRLS LACROSSE 

Look out, ‘cause here they come. You 

see them walking around school strutting 

their fresh and clean new white Polos, but 

you should also come see them play and 

strut their moves on the field. 

The girls varsity lacrosse team has vast 

amounts of potential for this season. So 

far they have played seven games and put 

up a respectable fight against some strong 

competition. Although they have suffered 

some defeats, they have already improved 

greatly, which showed in their last game 

before Spring Break against St. Andrew’s 

in which they came out victorious 24-9. 

The captains for this year’s team are seniors 

Merrie Afseth, Anna St. Denis, and 

Sofia Maldonado. 

BOYS LACROSSE 

After an exciting victory against Bridgeland 

in the young season, the boys 

lacrosse team looks to continue their momentum 

in anticipation for SPC matches. 

The team has had some difficulty in the 

beginning of the season, as there were 

multiple challenging games, including 

Memorial and St. Andrew’s. 

This week the team has games against 

Kinkaid and St. John’s, so be sure to attend 

the matches and support the boys. 

SOFTBALL 

It is that time of year again, EHS. 

Softball season has returned, and the girls 

are determined to take home the gold. 

The team has started the season strong 

with wins over St. Agnes and St. John the 

Baptist, among others, during tournament 

play. 

With intense and highly energized practices, 

the girls connect and show Episcopal 

true teamwork. We’re all excited to see 

softball achieve familiar title heights. 

TENNIS 

The varsity girls tennis team beat Awty 

5-0 on March 1 as Sam Newland, Hallie 

Byatt, Sophia Wayne, Rollins Bell, Luce 

Tysor, Grace Lane, and Carolyn Hammond 

continue to contribute with key 

match victories. 

The varsity boys team, led by Preston 

Herrold, Zach Georgsson, Alexander 

Andrews, Aidan Stewart, Max Finkelstein, 

and Nile Khan finished 2-3 in their Awty 

match. 

The girls’ next match was against St. 

Agnes on March 22 (result) 

The boys play St. Thomas on April 3. 

During the Maverick Relays in early March at St. John’s, sophomore Charlotte Schaeffer put in an impressive performance 

in the long jump. Photo by PhotoJ. 

Any time is tee time for golf programs 

PATRICK BAYOUTH 

DANIEL DAVIS 

Staff Writers 

The 2018 varsity boys golf team has had 

an exceptionally strong start to the spring 

season. New head coach Wayne Jones has 

instilled his strong work ethic throughout 

the program, which has shown in each 

of the team’s two tournaments at Black 

Horse Golf Club and Lost Pines. 

The overnight trip to Lost Pines not only 

turned out to be a successful tournament 

but also helped some of the younger players 

on the team bond with upperclassmen. 

Coach Jones and the team are currently 

preparing for their upcoming tournament 

at Herman Park in the Woodlands. 

The Knights girls golf team is looking 

sharper in preparation for an SPC run. The 

Knights are confident they can compete 

for the SPC championship with a team led 

by seniors Margaret Runnels, Mary Helen 

Kennedy, and Miranda Greenwalt. Sophomores 

Alisia Cruz and Madelyn Scholtes 

are contributing to the team by providing 

a spark of young talent on the links. 

On March 4 the team visited the Hyatt 

Lost Pines course in Austin to compete in 

their annual tournament and finished in 

third place. Their next tournament is being 

held in the Woodlands on March 26, and 

the girls are confident they will bring an 

outstanding performance. Coach Meghan 

Moake encourages the girls to do their 

best and fuels them with confidence in a 

game that can be quite frustrating. With 

tough competition this year in SPC, the 

Episcopal Knights girls golf team may be 

the team to beat. 

Senior golfers planning on leading their team to another SPC championship are 

Margaret Runnels, Miranda Greenwalt, and Mary Helen Kennedy. Photo by PhotoJ.


Opinion 

Time’s Up Movement making itself heard nationwide 

ELLIOTT JONES 

Staff Writer 

In this new age of Hollywood, the Harvey 

Weinstein scandal brought a wave of fear 

and sadness but also courage and strength 

for those around the country and the globe. 

After more than 50 women spoke out about 

their experiences with sexual assault and 

abuse involving this horrible man, the Me 

Too movement sparked bravery in men 

and women from all over as victims shared 

their stories of abuse in the workplace and 

at home. 

As the entire world was watching not 

only the Weinstein Scandal but also the Me 

Too movement unfold, many women began 

wondering how they could change the 

balance of power in which they were living 

and how they could stop sexual harassment 

once and for all. On January 1, with 300 

women in tow, the Time’s Up movement 

began. Started by Shonda Rhimes, Ashley 

Judd, Natalie Portman, and America Ferrera, 

the Time’s Up movement is a means 

for powerful women of Hollywood, tired 

of having to live in fear of either losing 

their jobs or being blacklisted, to speak out 

against their harassers. With a strong legal 

defense team behind it, Time’s Up is calling 

on women who have been harassed to 

stand up and fight back. 

While abuse and harassment are one aspect 

of this movement, another is to fight 

against gender inequality. Even today, 

many women around the world suffer from 

unequal pay. According to the Economic 

Policy Institute, white women are only 

paid 81 cents to every white man’s dollar; 

Asian women earn 88 cents, African American 

women 65 cents, and Hispanic women 

only 59 cents. This staggering gap in pay, 

especially among women and men in the 

same profession with the same level of expertise, 

is unbelievable and needs to end. 

For example, Mark Wahlberg and Emma 

Stone are Hollywood’s highest paid actors. 

While Wahlberg makes $68 million per 

year, Stone only makes $26 million. That 

is a $42 million difference! How is that acceptable? 

Both have won several awards, 

ranging from an Oscar to a Critics’ Choice. 

Again, how is that even possible? 

Even in its first three months, Time’s Up 

has already deemed itself incredibly successful. 

According to The Atlantic, the 

movement has raised more than $14 million 

in order to provide legal support to 

women and men who have experienced 

abuse and neglect in the workplace. This 

number continues to grow daily. 

The Golden Globes also illustrated the 

power this movement has not only on everyday 

people but also on the celebrities 

of Hollywood. In a stand of solidarity, the 

women wore all black to acknowledge and 

stand with victims while the men showed 

their support by sporting the Time’s Up pin. 

This event showed widespread support. 

Host Seth Meyers poked fun at the Harvey 

Weinstein scandal, and other celebrities, 

including Oprah Winfrey, spoke about 

their own abuse. Elisabeth Moss promised 

Margaret Atwood, poet and author of The 

Handmaid’s Tale, that the women and men 

in 2018 would stand up against the inequality 

and injustice of the world. 

Since the Time’s Up movement was announced 

on the first day of this year, I have 

been in full support of it. I constantly get 

asked why I support something that cannot 

be fixed overnight. My answer to this question 

is always this: I support the Time’s Up 

movement because I am tired of seeing 

women getting hurt by the injustice of this 

world. They are afraid of what others will 

think of them when they explain that they 

were assaulted or abused. While I have not 

Self-driving cars are right around the corner. Are we ready? 


Staff Writer 

The future is quickly approaching and 

autonomous cars are becoming less of a 

pipe dream and more of a reality. In fact, 

Toyota vowed to spend nearly $3 billion on 

the software to self-driving 

cars, joining the likes 

of Tesla and Uber. As 

self-driving cars are getting 

closer to becoming 

a normal addition to the 

road, many are left wondering 

about the ethics 

of driverless cars. There 

are two facets to understanding 

the ethics of this 

newfound phenomenon: 

how cars would prioritize 

passengers in an accident 

and the people who 

would be out of work 

once autonomous cars 

become the norm. 

Many ethicists have 

started to contemplate 

the moral dilemmas that 

come with self-driving 

cars, as they relate to human 

life. Chris Gerdes 

and Patrick Lin, professors 

at Stanford and Cal 

Poly, brought philosophers 

and engineers together 

to deliberate the 

issue. During the meeting, 

they gave several 

scenarios and tested the 

code that the cars had implemented, 

trying to gauge whether the car 

would prioritize humans over parked cars. 

Whereas humans have the ability to reasonably 

judge and think critically about situations, 

cars are not able to think; they are 

only able to do what they are programmed 

to do. Cars also cannot act in grey areas the 

same way that humans can, such as speeding 

in emergencies. In no-win scenarios, 

programmers and ethicists would have to 

deal with making the difficult choice regarding 

human lives. One example of this 

is the infamous Trolley problem, in which 

one must decide between letting a train run 

over five people or pulling a lever and only 

personally had this abuse firsthand, it hurts 

me more than anything to hear about those 

that have had to deal with this, some for 

years. 

Women are just as powerful, just as 

strong, and just as smart as men, and they 

should be praised for it. We have lived far 

too long in the shadows. It is time for us 

killing one. Utilitarianism states that the 

answer is obvious; it’s a simple equation 

in order to do the least amount of damage. 

There are always caveats, though, and the 

consequences of these caveats must be 

dealt with. It is not about killing one or 

killing five; it is trying to understand if the 

passenger should be prioritized or other 

drivers, or if human welfare should be optimized 

overall. Many are left wondering 

what the car’s responsibility is, as it cannot 

to stand up to abuse, demand equality, and 

pave the way for future women. Of course 

this is not going to happen overnight; I 

know that. 

But even a small action is the force behind 

a bigger, more powerful effect, and 

I want to be a part of that. I hope others 

agree. 

The Song Suffragettes, Nashville’s all-female singer-songwriter collective, has taken 

on the current hot topic of gender inequality and sexual misconduct against women 

with a new song titled “Time’s Up.” Proceeds from the sale of the song will benefit 

Time’s Up, the organization that created a unified call from women in entertainment 

to end discrimination, harassment and abuse of women everywhere. Image and information 

courtesy of musicrow.com. 

Autonomous cars are causing ethicists to question who should be responsible in an accident with a robot. If both vehicles 

are self-driven, who would be legally obligated to pay for damages? This image illustrates the situation people find themselves 

in should they be riding in an autonomous vehicle. Image courtesy of spectrum.ieee.com. 

make decisions that would seem obvious 

to humans. Whatever solution is implemented, 

it will be in some way flawed and 

accidents will still happen. 

That is not the only ethical problem associated 

with autonomous cars. Another 

problem is the displaced jobs when selfdriving 

cars become the 

norm. There are over 

three million truck drivers 

in the United States. Taxi, 

Uber, and bus drivers account 

for another million. 

The depletion of jobs due 

to technological advances 

is not modern, but making 

over four million jobs 

obsolete is major. The full 

implementation of selfdriving 

cars would likely 

be slow due to regulation, 

but despite that news, 

what would happen to the 

displaced workers? There 

is an ethical problem of 

the worth of self-driving 

cars if it means such massive 

job loss. 

It is important to remember 

that this technology is 

still in its infancy, yet 250 

million “autonomous” 

vehicles are planned to be 

on the road by 2020. The 

economic benefits also 

need to be addressed, as 

it should generate over 

one trillion dollars to the 

economy. Driverless cars 

will also decrease accidents, 

and make the roads safer. If we go 

about this the correct way, it will completely 

change the way we think about transportation.

Opinion 


New children’s Facebook App could be counterproductive 

LAUREN PORTER 


It is not a secret that social media is addicting. 

Facebook, the largest social media 

platform, has expanded its user base 

to nearly everyone. There are 1.86 billion 

active Facebook users, and most are old 

enough to make educated decisions when 

dealing with social media addiction. However, 

Facebook has recently launched a 

new social media app targeted at children, 

who are not capable of appropriately handling 

such a complex platform. The Messenger 

Kids app is designed to be a safe 

video chat and messaging app for children 

6-12 years old. While it may seem like a 

smart idea to steer kids away from dangerous, 

unfiltered Facebook content, the app 

actually is more harmful to children than 

many realize. 

The first issue with the app is the age 

range. Six-year-old and twelve-year-old 

children do not have the same maturity and 

do not consume the same content. Having 

middle school children interact with other 

children barely out of kindergarten presents 

a potentially harmful environment for very 

young children who have not matured. Furthermore, 

the lower end of the age range is 

simply too young to be using social media 

in a safe, intelligent way. Children of this 

age do not have a firm grasp on the importance 

of privacy online and do not understand 

the permanent nature of online videos 

and photos. While the lower end of the age 

range may not understand the full effects 

of social media, older children increasingly 

use many social media platforms they are 

not allowed to use. A BBC study found that 

about 75% of 10-12-year-old children with 

access to social media use the apps regularly. 

These children ignore the age limit of 

most apps, which is 13, by entering a false 

birthdate. The survey found the most popular 

site children under 13 use is Facebook, 

so it is logical that to decrease the number 

of underage children on the app, Facebook 

would launch a kids app. However, the 

Messenger Kids app should have a tighter 

age range, possibly from 10-12. 

While the age is just one possible concern 

for parents, another dangerous possibility 

is the potential for increased bullying 

on the app. While cyber bullying has been 

a problem on social media for years, this 

app opens the platform for cyber bullying 

to younger audiences who may have never 

experienced online bullying. All children, 

especially children as young as six years 

old, should not have to endure the pain and 

sadness of cyber bullying. Child development 

advocates recognize the potential of 

harm this app could cause, and they are 

currently trying to discontinue the app. 

According to CNN, over a dozen organizations 

and 100 health experts wrote a letter 

to Facebook advocating for the removal of 

the app. In the letter they identified all of 

the issues with the app and the difficulty 

for parents to raise their children in the new 

digital age. 

The Campaign for a Commercial-Free 

Childhood (CCFC) leads the effort against 

Messenger Kids, and they advocate for a 

digital world without exploitative marketing 

to kids. So far, Facebook has not addressed 

the problems with the app, and 

continues to promote unhealthy childhood 

development. 

Facebook needs to realize the influence 

and power they have in a child’s life and 

hopefully they will discontinue the app to 

create a safer childhood environment. 

Gun control must be addressed 

CAMI PYNE 


Sitting in class and seeing “At least 17 

dead in school shooting” terrifies me. 

Learning more about the Florida High 

School shooting did not make me feel any 

better. 

I felt the chills go down my spine as I listened 

to Emma Gonzalez’s groundbreaking 

speech that called for one thing after 

the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman 

Douglas High School, and we need to listen. 

There were at least thirty-nine tips given 

to local police about shooter Nickolas 

Cruz, warnings about his being a violent, 

mentally ill individual with intent to harm 

himself and others. Even his quote, “I’m 

going to be a professional school shooter” 

posted on Youtube was a clear warning. 

Yet, nothing was done to prevent him from 

buying a weapon of war and murdering 

14 students under the age of 16 and three 

adults. These people were not all people 

Nickolas knew; they were freshmen at the 

school he was expelled from for “threatening” 

students’ lives. 

After the Marjory Stoneman Douglas 

shooting, San Bernardino shooting, Las 

Vegas massacre, Orlando slaughter, and 

Sandy Hook horrors, where does it end? 

It starts with us. If we continue to allow 

the sale of semi-automatic weapons of war, 

we are saying, “My right to own a gun outranks 

your students right to live” (Emma 

Gonzalez). 

But what can we do to change this? We 

can start by having conversations, about 

preventing people with severe mental illnesses 

from purchasing a firearm. We can 

talk about closing the gun show loophole, 

which allows the legal purchase of a firearm 

to any paying person, even a thirteenyear-old 

(ABC News). Most importantly, 

if you see something, say something. Call 

your legislators, call your representatives, 

and do something. 

To start combating this problem, let’s require 

a mental health evaluation for anyone 

planning to purchase a firearm, close 

the gun show loophole, and start a ban on 

bump-stocks and semi-automatic and automatic 

weapons. A complete and adequate 

mandatory gun safety course in order to 

obtain a license would not hurt either. 

The next steps in all of this would be 

to guarantee the safety of our students, 

citizens, and every American by making 

America Safe Again. 

Facebook’s Messenger Kids app attempts to offer an alternative to regular Facebook 

use, but the new app does not address an appropriate age range. Photo courtesy 

of newsroom.fb.com. 

The Knight Times 

Head of School 

Ned Smith 

Episcopal High School 

4650 Bissonnet, Bellaire, TX 77450 

713-512-3400 


Lauren Porter 

Assistant Head of School 

Nancy Laufe Eisenberg 

Dean of Arts 

Jay Berckley 

Visual Arts Chair 

Kate Philbrick 

Publications Coordinator 

David Framel 

Photojournalism Instructor 

Jaime Sonnier 

Photojournalism Editor 

Miranda Greenwalt 

Managing Editor 

Sydney Hutchins 


Cami Pyne 

Staff Writers 

Ellie Ragiel 

Isabel Young 

Isabella Goodman 

Angel Stringer 

Sophia Henry 

Preston Witt 

Patrick Bayouth 

Elliott Jones 

Daniel Davis 

Gabrielle Ducote 

Photographers 

Teagan Ashworth, Chris Castro Janecki, Cara Kennedy, Lane McCool, Mason Morris, Parker 

Nickerson, Julia Toups, Trinity Watts, Hannah Windle, Rohan Asthana, Phoebe Crow, Layton 

Debes, Caroline Fertitta, Elliott Jones, Robert Mason, Taylor Ranucci, James Henry Ray, 

Stockton Shaffer, Madison Stanke, Sophie Thomas, Sasha Vermeil, Rachel Boeker, 

Sydney Bosarge, Kaveinga Davis, Will Davis, Spencer Donley, Cydne Harrell-Malveaux, 

Amber Hatfield, Alexandra Herrera, Sadie Jensen, Elliott Leathers, Chloe Masterson, 

Luke Pugh, Ethan Tuckwood, Luke White, Alan Ayanegui, Christina Betti, Isabel Frasier, 

Sophia Pamphilis, Margaret Runnels, Sophia Wayne, David Bebczuk, Sydney Cooper, 

Alex Deutsch, Elizabeth Anne Charbonnet, Sophia Haugh, Sadie Jensen, Lindsey Little, 

Anna McLauchlin, Julia Nasser, Chandler Onyekwelu, Kate Peterkin, 

Lexi Sagers, Madelyn Scholtes, Amelia Traylor, Celine Waxham 

Photo courtesy of voanews.com. 

The Knight Times is a product of students in the Episcopal High School newspaper class, who are 

solely responsible for its creation and editorial content. The opinions expressed are those of the 

writer and do not necessarily represent those of the Episcopal Board of Trustees, administration, 

faculty, and staff. Published ten times a year, The Knight Times is a non-profit educational tool. 

The staff encourages the submission of letters, editorials, and story ideas from the community 

but reserves the right to edit and/or use said articles.


Knight Shift 

KT Crossword 

1. 

May Flowers 

Hot or Not 

April Showers 

Radishes 

Other vegetables 

Laughing 

Hurting your funny bone 

Astros Opening day 

Rangers Opening day 

Amazon 

Toys R Us 

Having Fortnite wins 

Having a social life 

Having coffee at Coffee House 

Not actually having radishes on 

Radish Day 

Top 10 Instagram Accounts to Follow 

1. @ehsknighttimes if you enjoy quality journalism 

(Celebrity Sighting) 

2. @texasgrub if you’re feeling hungry 

3. @jerryoftheday if you wish you were on a mountain right now 

4. @historyphotographed if you love a good throwback 

5. @cadescakes if you want to be amazed 

6. @the.adventures.of.gerald if you are a pinata enthusiast 

7. @labs_of_insta if you are a pupper enthusiast 

8. @tunameltsmyheart if you like dogs with unconventional beauty 

9. @houseofhighlights if you are a sports fanatic 

10. @awkwardfamilyphotos if you want to cringe 

Don’t be misled by the April Fools Day theme of this paper; the resemblance between 

Horrible Bosses actor Charlie Day and EHS physics teacher Mr. Justin Hickey is no 

joke. Or is it simply a radish? Photo by Cami Pyne and courtesy of nme.com. 

ehsknighttimes 

Hot Cheetos 

Hot Cheetos 

KNIGHT TIMES SWEET SIXTEEN 

Fortnite 

Fortnite 

Takis 

PUBG 

Recycling 


Trash 

Recycling 

April Fools Day 



Recycling 

The Kinkaid Falcon 


Easter Break 



Spongebob Memes 



Kermit Memes 



Senior Skip Day 

Senior Prank 

Senior Prank 

“dongle” 

“dongle” 

“adapter”

THE KNIGHT TIMES - March 2018

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