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MARCH 2018 THE No.1 PREGNANCY, BABY AND TODDLER MAGAZINE<br />
WWW.MOTHERANDBABY.CO.UK<br />
www.motherandbaby.co.uk<br />
THE UK’S BEST-SELLING MAGAZINE FOR MUMS<br />
Bundle<br />
of love<br />
Five simple steps to<br />
strengthen the<br />
bond with your baby<br />
A KIND OF MAGIC<br />
How hormones help<br />
you through labour<br />
The clever trick that<br />
speeds her back to sleep<br />
10<br />
BEST MINI-BREAKS<br />
TO TAKE WITH<br />
YOUR MINI-ME<br />
The secret to a happy<br />
relationship post-baby<br />
WIN KIT WORTH £2,959!<br />
Pregnancy<br />
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download<br />
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£3.99 MARCH 2018<br />
24 JAN TO 20 FEB<br />
Shopping
Contents<br />
p49<br />
Upfront<br />
6 News and views<br />
Our round-up of the latest<br />
essential parenting updates<br />
and key trends<br />
14 Over to you<br />
All your letters, photos, emails and<br />
Facebook posts<br />
On the<br />
Cover<br />
p59<br />
Bump&Birth<br />
20 It’s a kind of magic<br />
Discover how your hormones help<br />
you through labour<br />
26 Small change<br />
Make a big difference to your<br />
pregnancy with these tiny tweaks<br />
28 Pregnant proposals<br />
Extra-special engagements<br />
32 Sorted!<br />
Soothe tender boobs<br />
49<br />
How to build an<br />
34 Birth stories<br />
‘I gave birth to triplets’<br />
unbreakable bond<br />
<strong>March</strong><br />
37 Dress my bump<br />
Fashion for work and play<br />
Baby&Toddler<br />
40 Giggle!<br />
Get your little one laughing more<br />
46 Help him get back to<br />
sleep faster<br />
Try this clever nighttime trick<br />
49 Build an everlasting bond<br />
Create a secure relationship with<br />
your youngster that’ll last forever<br />
60 Hello snow!<br />
Head outdoors for some frosty fun<br />
63 Achoo!<br />
Speed your baby through a cold<br />
78 Take the plunge!<br />
Dive into the latest swimwear<br />
Life&Kids<br />
84 Upgrade your baby snaps<br />
Smart tips to take great pics<br />
88 Adventure awaits<br />
Broaden your little one’s horizons<br />
with this nursery scheme<br />
90 Try a little tenderness<br />
Bring back real romance to your<br />
relationship now you’re parents<br />
COVER SHUTTERSTOCK<br />
p20<br />
p46<br />
p90<br />
p124<br />
p96<br />
p120<br />
60<br />
Enjoy some<br />
winter fun!<br />
Here to help<br />
Our experts answer all your questions<br />
70 Pregnancy<br />
71 Sleep<br />
73 Development<br />
74Eating<br />
4 | <strong>March</strong> 2018 | motherandbaby.co.uk
63<br />
Soothe your little one<br />
through winter snuffles<br />
with our expert advice<br />
Subscribe!<br />
Get your first<br />
three issues of<br />
Mother&Baby for £3!<br />
Find out more on<br />
page 76.<br />
20<br />
How hormones<br />
help you<br />
through labour<br />
FREE!<br />
Download your<br />
digital issue!<br />
Find out how<br />
on page 59<br />
95 Ease going back to work<br />
Make leaving your little one easier<br />
96 The 10 best mini-breaks<br />
Get away with your mini-me<br />
100 Valentine’s treats<br />
Stir a little love into these recipes!<br />
Shop!<br />
106 Feel the love<br />
Enjoy heart-warming moments<br />
with these Valentine’s buys<br />
Join us online at<br />
motherandbaby.co.uk<br />
<strong>Digital</strong> edition<br />
on sale now!<br />
Get M&B on the move,<br />
direct to your mobile or tablet.<br />
greatmagazines.co.uk<br />
108 The big test<br />
Rotating car seats reviewed<br />
114 Six ways to…<br />
Soothe a cough<br />
116 Mum’s award<br />
The best baby travel buys<br />
118 Supermarket buys<br />
What’s new down the aisles<br />
120 40% off at babyGap<br />
and GapKids<br />
Exclusive offer for M&B readers<br />
123 Over the rainbow<br />
Add colour with these bright buys<br />
124 Giveaways<br />
Win kit worth over £2,720!<br />
130 Now I’m a mum, I know…<br />
Presenter Katie Piper shares all<br />
car seats tested<br />
by mums like you<br />
108Swivel
NOURISH<br />
YOUR BOND<br />
Special<br />
Step<br />
1<br />
Be a<br />
secure base<br />
50 | <strong>March</strong> 2018 | motherandbaby.co.uk
What your baby or toddler wants<br />
most of all, after the basic<br />
needs of food and<br />
shelter have been<br />
met, is a relationship in which<br />
he feels secure, and in which<br />
he knows he belongs. ‘When<br />
a youngster has someone he<br />
can rely on, he has the<br />
potential to grow up<br />
believing that it’s OK to<br />
trust people,’ says Kent.<br />
‘That helps him to form<br />
good relationships. It helps<br />
him feel safe enough to go<br />
and explore the world. And<br />
it helps him to be positive<br />
about the world around him,<br />
because he knows, deep inside,<br />
that the world has good things<br />
to offer him.’<br />
In the first year of his life, your<br />
baby simply needs someone who is<br />
there for him: to feed him, cuddle him and<br />
engage with him. ‘Some parents worry that<br />
they might “spoil” a baby if they’re too<br />
attentive to him, but babies need that close<br />
attention,’ says Kent. ‘It’s in these first<br />
months that they learn how much they<br />
matter, and that someone is there to share<br />
the world with them.’<br />
So, even when your baby is very tiny, look<br />
for ways to let him set the pace of your<br />
interactions. ‘Babies often look away from<br />
their parents for a few seconds. They then<br />
look back,’ says Kent. ‘So let him look away<br />
without trying to regain his attention – but<br />
Be<br />
bigger,<br />
stronger,<br />
wiser and kind<br />
‘Children want to know that their parents<br />
are bigger, stronger, wiser and kind,’ says Kent.<br />
‘When your youngster feels that you are all<br />
those things, he feels protected and secure.<br />
That’s because he knows someone is in charge,<br />
is looking out for him, and has his best interests<br />
at heart. But you need to be all of those things:<br />
if you’re big and strong without being<br />
kind, you’ll be mean; if you’re kind<br />
without being strong and wise,<br />
you won’t feel like a source<br />
of protection.’<br />
Try this!<br />
The Moment app<br />
(free, itunes.apple.<br />
com) keeps track<br />
of how much time<br />
you spend on your<br />
phone. If you’re<br />
anything like us,<br />
you’ll know it’s not<br />
a bad thing to set a<br />
few limits on your<br />
own screen-time!<br />
be ready to smile when he does look back.<br />
When you do this, you give him the<br />
message that his needs are valued<br />
and you’ll follow his lead.<br />
Remarkably, babies do<br />
pick up on this.’<br />
As your youngster becomes<br />
more independent, this<br />
secure base needs to be<br />
more than somewhere<br />
from which he can venture,<br />
that’s always there for<br />
him to come back to. ‘As<br />
children start to walk and<br />
explore, they need you to<br />
be there for them, but also<br />
to be there with them,’ says<br />
Kent. ‘This means being present<br />
when your toddler tries something<br />
out, without trying to dominate<br />
or direct what he’s doing. It’s the<br />
difference between watching someone<br />
with interest and stepping in to tell him<br />
how to do it better!’<br />
It’s all about being there when he needs<br />
you. ‘When you take your toddler to the<br />
park, watch him as he plays,’ says Kent.<br />
‘Even if he wants to climb or go on the<br />
slide on his own, and rejects<br />
your help, he still wants your<br />
attention as he does so. A toddler<br />
might rush ahead into the park,<br />
but he’ll still look back to check<br />
that his parent is emotionally with<br />
him. And if he sees his parent deep<br />
in conversation on the phone,<br />
instead, he’ll often visibly sag.’<br />
Three ways to help build a secure base<br />
1 CONNECT<br />
Think about using<br />
eye contact, touch and<br />
tone to create moments of<br />
connection. So, when you<br />
look your little one in the<br />
eye, consciously feel your<br />
affection for him, use a loving<br />
tone of voice, or hold him to<br />
you. He’ll get a deep and<br />
immediate affirmation of<br />
the special and strong bond<br />
between you.<br />
SHARE<br />
2<br />
Create little rituals<br />
in your daily routine that<br />
are yours, and only yours.<br />
Simple, shared activities,<br />
like starting every day by<br />
saying, ‘Hello poppet, it’s<br />
lovely to see you,’ help your<br />
child feel that the world is<br />
predictable and safe.<br />
LEARN<br />
3<br />
Your baby is unique.<br />
And if you pay him close<br />
attention, you’ll start to learn<br />
all about which sounds,<br />
textures, movements and<br />
environments he likes.<br />
‘That will help you respond<br />
appropriately to his needs,<br />
which builds his sense of<br />
security,’ says Kent.<br />
motherandbaby.co.uk | <strong>March</strong> 2018 | 51
NOURISH<br />
YOUR BOND<br />
Special<br />
Step<br />
2<br />
Let him<br />
explore<br />
‘Humans have two important<br />
needs,’ says Kent. ‘One is<br />
the drive for autonomy, or<br />
independence, and the other is<br />
the desire for true connection<br />
with others. As a parent,<br />
you’ll see both those needs in<br />
your child. And as parents,<br />
we have to try and allow our<br />
children space to express each<br />
of them. So, we have to give<br />
them the opportunity to explore<br />
their world when they want to. But<br />
we also have to show them that we’re<br />
here when they feel vulnerable. And<br />
that’s not always an easy thing to balance!’<br />
To find this happy medium, it helps<br />
if you can be objective about your own<br />
needs. Think now, for just a moment: when<br />
do you feel happiest? When your youngster<br />
is very close to you, or when he’s confidently<br />
trying out something new? ‘And now you<br />
know where you feel comfortable, you can<br />
prepare for situations where you feel less<br />
comfortable,’ says Kent. This helps you to<br />
make sure that your needs don’t interfere with<br />
accommodating both his drive to go off and<br />
explore, and his desire to be close to you.<br />
Support his need for independence, too,<br />
by giving him positive signals when he’s<br />
exploring something new. ‘Your youngster<br />
watches your face to make sense of new<br />
situations,’ says Kent. ‘If he sees that<br />
you are relaxed – for example, on<br />
his first day at nursery, or<br />
going on a new train<br />
journey together – he<br />
will be relaxed. And if<br />
he sees that you remain<br />
calm when he feels vulnerable and<br />
wants reassurance, he’ll be relaxed<br />
about that, too.’<br />
‘I try<br />
to look at the<br />
world from my child’s<br />
perspective. When you’re going<br />
upstairs, for an adult the steps are<br />
at ankle height, but for your child<br />
they’re at knee height, so it's a bigger job<br />
for them! Being aware of how my kids<br />
perceive things helps me slow down and<br />
not rush them through the day, and I<br />
think that builds the trust between us.’<br />
Claire Shepherd, 31, from Kendal, is<br />
mum to Theo, four months,<br />
and Poppy, four<br />
52 | <strong>March</strong> 2018 | motherandbaby.co.uk
Step<br />
3<br />
Delight<br />
in him<br />
Read this!<br />
The That’s Not My…<br />
range of books<br />
(Usborne, £6.99)<br />
are packed with<br />
bright pictures,<br />
shiny surfaces and<br />
textured patches,<br />
for stimulating your<br />
little one’s<br />
curiosity, and<br />
creating an<br />
opportunity for<br />
you to share in<br />
his delight.<br />
‘With<br />
two older siblings,<br />
Millie often struggles to<br />
get a word in, so we have a<br />
rule that we all take it in turns to<br />
speak. So when Millie’s trying to say<br />
something, the older two have to<br />
be patient and listen. It helps<br />
her to feel valued by all of us.’<br />
Abbie Churton, 43, from East<br />
Sussex, is mum to Millie, two,<br />
Frederica, seven, and<br />
Elliot, nine<br />
‘True self esteem comes not from our<br />
achievements or our looks, but from feeling<br />
that we are loved just as we are,’ says Kent.<br />
‘And when you delight in your child, when you<br />
show that you just enjoy being around him,<br />
whatever you happen to be doing together,<br />
his sense of self-worth blossoms.’ In our busy<br />
world, it can be really hard to slow down,<br />
so if you find this hard, start by setting aside<br />
five minutes to be fully present with your<br />
youngster, doing whatever he wants to do.<br />
Share tummy time with him, by<br />
lying opposite him, following his<br />
lead and chatting about what<br />
you’re doing. Go for a walk with<br />
your toddler, but go at his speed<br />
and squat down to look at all the<br />
things he finds – you won’t get very<br />
far, but he’ll love that you’re<br />
interested in his discoveries.<br />
And smile! ‘When your<br />
toddler is playing and<br />
glances up to see if he<br />
has your attention,<br />
smile at him with<br />
warmth and eye<br />
contact,’ says Kent. ‘If<br />
he grins back joyfully<br />
and turns back to what<br />
he was doing, you’ll<br />
know that he was looking<br />
to see your delight in him.’<br />
motherandbaby.co.uk | <strong>March</strong> 2018 | 53
Ingredients<br />
● 125g unsalted<br />
butter, softened<br />
● 150g caster<br />
sugar<br />
● 1 tbsp lemon<br />
zest<br />
● 2 eggs<br />
● 150g plain<br />
flour<br />
● 1 tsp baking<br />
powder<br />
TO DECORATE<br />
● 225g icing<br />
sugar<br />
● 100g unsalted<br />
butter, softened<br />
● 1 tbsp water<br />
● A few drops<br />
of pink food<br />
colouring<br />
● 1 bag of pink<br />
marshmallows<br />
● Black and red<br />
writing icing<br />
● A little pink<br />
ready-to-roll icing<br />
Pink piggy<br />
cupcakes<br />
Prep: 30 minutes<br />
Cook: 18-20 minutes<br />
Makes: 10 cupcakes<br />
SUITABLE<br />
FROM<br />
1 YEAR<br />
Method<br />
1 Preheat the oven to 180˚C/<br />
350˚F/gas mark 4. Put all the cake<br />
ingredients into a bowl or food processor<br />
and beat together until smooth.<br />
2 Line a bun tin with paper cases and<br />
half fill each case with the mixture. Bake<br />
in an oven for 18 to 20 minutes, until well<br />
risen and the cakes spring back when<br />
you press them with your fingertips.<br />
3 To make the buttercream, sieve the<br />
icing sugar into a bowl. Beat the butter<br />
until creamy in an electric mixer, and<br />
then gradually beat in the icing sugar.<br />
Finally, beat in the tablespoon of water.<br />
4 Mix a few drops of the food colouring<br />
into the buttercream and spread the pink<br />
icing on top of the cakes. Stick on a nose<br />
made from a large marshmallow and ears<br />
made from extra slices of marshmallow.<br />
5 Draw eyes and a smile with the red writing<br />
icing, and a snout using the black. Create a<br />
curly tail from the pink ready-to-roll icing.<br />
Fruit &<br />
granola pots<br />
Prep: 30 minutes<br />
Cook: 40-45 minutes<br />
SUITABLE<br />
FROM<br />
Makes: 8 pots (with<br />
1 YEAR<br />
additional granola left over)<br />
Method<br />
1 To make the granola, preheat the oven to<br />
150ºC/300ºF/gas mark 2. Put the oats, chopped<br />
pecans, coconut, salt and sugar in a large bowl,<br />
and mix together with a wooden spoon.<br />
2 Whisk the oil and syrup together in a jug or small<br />
bowl. Pour over the oats and mix well. Spread out<br />
on a lightly oiled baking sheet and bake in the<br />
centre of the oven for 40–45 minutes, stirring every<br />
15 minutes. Transfer to a bowl, stir in the raisins and<br />
dried cranberries, and leave to cool.<br />
3 Mix the double cream and yoghurt together with<br />
a little maple syrup to taste. Layer up the glasses<br />
with the granola, yoghurt and cream mixture and,<br />
finally, some sliced strawberries and raspberries,<br />
and a sprig of mint to finish. If you like you can tie a<br />
wooden spoon around the glasses with some string.<br />
Ingredients<br />
● 175g rolled<br />
oats<br />
● 70g coarsely<br />
chopped pecans<br />
● 20g<br />
desiccated<br />
coconut<br />
● ¼ tsp salt<br />
● 60g soft<br />
brown sugar<br />
● 2 tbsp<br />
sunflower oil<br />
● 4 tbsp<br />
maple syrup<br />
● 25g raisins<br />
● 25g dried<br />
cranberries<br />
● 150ml double<br />
cream<br />
● 150g Greek<br />
yoghurt<br />
● A little maple<br />
syrup, to taste<br />
● 100g each<br />
raspberries and<br />
strawberries<br />
● Fresh mint<br />
102 | <strong>March</strong> 2018 | motherandbaby.co.uk
Raspberry & chocolate heart cake<br />
Prep: 20 minutes<br />
(plus setting time)<br />
Cook: 35-40 minutes<br />
Makes: 8-10 portions<br />
Method<br />
1 Preheat the oven to<br />
180°C/350°F/gas mark 4.<br />
Grease and line the base<br />
of two 20cm heart-shaped<br />
(or round) sandwich tins.<br />
2 Combine all the cake<br />
ingredients, using an electric<br />
whisk, until smooth. Spoon<br />
into the prepared tins and<br />
level the top. Bake for 35-40<br />
minutes, until well risen and<br />
shrinking away from the<br />
sides. Remove from the<br />
tins and leave to cool on<br />
a wire rack.<br />
3 To make the filling, whisk<br />
the cream until stiff, then<br />
fold in the raspberries<br />
and spread over the bottom<br />
layer of the cake. Place the<br />
second sponge on top of the<br />
cream and press down.<br />
4 For the icing, melt the jam<br />
in a saucepan until runny,<br />
then spread over the top<br />
of the cake.<br />
4 Melt the chocolate and<br />
butter together in a small<br />
bowl set over a pan of<br />
simmering water (make sure<br />
the bowl doesn’t touch the<br />
water), then leave to cool<br />
and thicken a little.<br />
5 Spread over the top of<br />
the cake. Leave to set for<br />
1 hour, then decorate with<br />
raspberries and petals.<br />
Serve with a little pouring<br />
cream, if you like.<br />
Ingredients<br />
● 180g unsalted<br />
butter, softened<br />
● 180g caster sugar<br />
● 180g self-raising<br />
flour<br />
● 30g cocoa powder<br />
● 3 large eggs<br />
● 2 tbsp milk<br />
FOR THE FILLING<br />
● 200ml double cream<br />
● 150g raspberries<br />
FOR THE ICING<br />
● 2 tbsp raspberry jam<br />
● 100g dark chocolate<br />
● 30g unsalted butter<br />
TO DECORATE<br />
● A few raspberries<br />
● A few edible<br />
rose petals<br />
SUITABLE<br />
FROM<br />
1 YEAR<br />
Find lots<br />
more inspiration with<br />
Annabel’s Baby & Toddler<br />
Recipe App, new and updated<br />
with over 200 delicious<br />
recipes for tasty, nutritious<br />
mealtimes – and clean<br />
plates! Available via the<br />
app store or visit<br />
annabelkarmel.<br />
com<br />
motherandbaby.co.uk | <strong>March</strong> 2018 | 103
LOVE STORY<br />
WORDS NIKKI DUTTON PHOTOGRAPHY GETTY IMAGES<br />
Try a little<br />
TENDERNESS<br />
Forget sex: now you’ve had a baby, it’s time to rethink what<br />
real romance means and bring more of it into your relationship<br />
Ah, remember those early, heady<br />
days with your partner, when<br />
romance meant a big bunch of<br />
flowers, an expensive meal or<br />
talking until the sun came up?<br />
Since having a baby, it might<br />
feel like that kind of love has packed its bags<br />
and left, sometime in between a nappy change<br />
and a sleepless night. But having a baby<br />
together, with all of the challenges as well as<br />
the magical moments it brings, can lead to a<br />
healthier, happier relationship, and mean you<br />
discover more ways to love your partner than<br />
you ever imagined. So forget trying to recreate<br />
what you used to have, now you’re parents it’s<br />
time to move your relationship on to become<br />
a more genuine romance that’s better than ever.<br />
‘Having a baby is the most wonderful,<br />
stressful and life-changing thing you and your<br />
partner will do together,’ says relationship<br />
specialist Wendy Capewell. ‘And once your<br />
baby arrives and becomes the centre of both<br />
MEET THE<br />
EXPERT<br />
Wendy Capewell<br />
is a relationship<br />
specialist, counsellor<br />
and author of From<br />
Surviving to Thriving<br />
in a Romantic<br />
Relationship<br />
(CreateSpace<br />
Publishing, £7.99);<br />
wendycapewell.co.uk<br />
‘My fiancé Ralph<br />
regularly asks me how<br />
I’m feeling, and gives me the<br />
time to chat through any<br />
worries, which I appreciate as<br />
it’s so easy for everything to<br />
become just about our baby.’<br />
Tanith Batterham, 32, from<br />
Nottingham, is mum to Grace,<br />
four months<br />
of your worlds, it’s only natural that your<br />
relationship will change.<br />
‘But being constantly bombarded with<br />
images on TV and social media of happy,<br />
contented families, where everyone snuggles<br />
in bed together in the morning, and no-one<br />
gets ratty, can lead to us having unrealistic<br />
expectations about what our relationship<br />
should be like after having a baby. The reality<br />
is that babies put a lot of pressure on even the<br />
strongest of partnerships. But finding ways<br />
to support each other through these ups<br />
and downs of parenthood can make your<br />
relationship a whole lot stronger and far more<br />
intimate than it was before your baby arrived.’<br />
LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX<br />
Let’s get straight to the point and get this bit<br />
sorted from the get-go shall we? If you’re not<br />
having much sex – or any at all, thank you<br />
very much – since your baby came along,<br />
then that’s perfectly normal. In a recent<br />
survey, a quarter of couples revealed they<br />
didn’t have sex for six months or longer after<br />
having a baby. And shelving sex for the time<br />
being won’t harm your relationship a jot – as<br />
long as you and your partner talk about<br />
it. If you’re struggling to start the<br />
conversation, try ‘I know you<br />
want to be close to me,<br />
but I’m too tired and<br />
uncomfortable right<br />
now.’ Or if you’re<br />
worried that sex isn’t<br />
on his agenda, then<br />
‘It’s great that we can<br />
still feel close without<br />
having sex’ is a great<br />
icebreaker. What’s<br />
important is that you air<br />
that elephant in the room,<br />
so you both know the other<br />
isn’t feeling rejected. ‘It’s not how<br />
90 | <strong>March</strong> 2018 | motherandbaby.co.uk
motherandbaby.co.uk | 2017 | 91<br />
a<br />
e<br />
of<br />
fac<br />
mo
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