The Star: April 13, 2017

The Star 25
Travel
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Unlocking the secrets of Tasmania
.kiwi
Thursday April 13 2017
• By Mike Yardley
DOCKING IN Hobart on a
cruise ship is not just a sweetly
scenic affair, but a stunningly
effortless way to immerse yourself
in the heart of the city.
I regained my land legs on an
eye-pleasing walk around the
historic waterfront, in Sullivans
Cove, where 19th-century
sandstone warehouses brim with
dockside cafes, artist studios and
eateries. If you’re visiting on a
Saturday, soak up the extravagant
market flavours of Salamanca –
Australia’s largest outdoor market.
Also on the waterfront, pay
your respects to the beautifully
sculpted monument dedicated
to the legendary explorer, Abel
Tasman. It’s one of an increasing
array of sublime sculptures, dotting
the harbour edge.
My chief assignment was to
head down the Derwent River, to
visit Australia’s most talked about
museum. The Museum of Old
and New Art, MONA, harbours
a subterranean storehouse of eyepopping
eccentricity. Six-yearsold,
MONA was the brain child of
Tasmanian, who made a fortune
fine-tuning algorithms to beat
bookies and casinos at their own
game. Nicknamed “the subversive
adult Disneyland”, entering
MONA is more like falling down
a rabbit hole.
From the foyer, a spiral staircase
leads you 17m underground, into
a cave-like space, brimming with
art and objects loosely themed
around sex, evolution and death.
Standing in the basement, I gazed
TRANQUIL: The dock in Hobart sits in a historic waterfront area of standstone warehouses and eateries. Right – Magic to Do, the
Princess Emerald’s signature production.
in awe of the gigantic installation
called “Bit.fall,” a rain-painting
machine created by German artist
Julius Popp.
This multi-million dollar contraption
comprises 128 computercontrolled
nozzles, releasing
cascading droplets in the shape of
trending phrases harvested daily
from news websites. This pulsing
waterfall of words, streamed
from real-time Google searches,
is a clever, cascading ode to the
unrelenting news cycle.
I was lulled into a false sense
of complacency. As I walked on,
mulling whether MONA’s reputation
for shockability was overhyped,
I was suddenly confronted
by the chocolate sculpture of the
remains of a Chechen suicide
bomber. Stephen Shanabrook’s
cast of a disembowelled suicide
bomber rendered in chocolate is
unsettling.
One level up, a wall has been
lined with more than 100 porcelain
moulds of female genitalia,
while another wall boasts a gigantic
image of a man engaged in
bestiality. It’s not hard to see why
some art snobs sniff at MONA’s
obsession with smut.
But the centre-piece of MONA
that repulses and engrosses in
equal doses is called Cloaca Professional
by Belgian artist, Wim
Delvoye. This room-sized machine
of giant test tubes, pumps
and glass receptacles parodies
the digestive tract of humans in
lurid detail. Nicknamed the poop
SUBVERSIVE: The Museum of Old and New Art incorporates eye-popping eccentricity
machine, it’s fed twice a day, and
you can watch the full digestive
process of food unfold over three
hours. I didn’t stay for the final
act, but apparently the bi-product
is absolutely pungent.
Prior to reaching Hobart, I had
crossed the Tasman with Princess
Cruises. Notorious for offering
cruisers the tumble-dryer ocean
experience, I’d heard plenty of
dire reports. But my two days
at sea across the Tasman, were
relatively plain sailing – no brown
paper bags were required.
Before reaching Hobart, the roll
call of on-board entertainment
made very short work of those
two days at sea. There were Pilates
and yoga classes, sports tournaments
and quizzes, photography
and health seminars, star-gazing
courses and movies under the
stars, on the giant screens crowning
the pool deck.
Sea days are also a fabulous opportunity
to sneak a peek behind
the scenes, on the tours of the
galley and bridge. I marvelled at
the culinary miracles crafted in
the ship’s galley, while the sheer
magnitude of cutting-edge technology
deployed on the bridge is
an eye-opener.
But the extensive live entertainment
that unfurls throughout the
ship, was seriously impressive.
Princess Cruises has partnered
with The Voice to present The
Voice of the Ocean, featuring a
competitive cast of passengers
battling against each other for
supreme honours. The quality
was exceptional.
However, the signature production
was a Broadway-calibre
musical called Magic to Do,
created for Princess Cruises by
the producer of Wicked, Stephen
Schwartz. So even if the Tasman
is turbulent, rest assured, you’ll be
thoroughly entertained.
FAST FACTS
•Princess Cruises operates
a series of transtasman
cruises over the summer
season, with five ships
currently home-ported
down under. An extensive
schedule of sailings
from New Zealand to
Hobart will resume later
in the year, in the 2017/18
summer months. For more
information and cruise
bookings, see your travel
agent or visit www.princess.
com
“ Something to
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We are really chuffed to
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STAGE 19 NOW AVAILABLE
Sections 410m 2 to 844m 2
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Visit Rolleston’s fastest selling development
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Wednesday to Sunday, 12pm to 4pm
Call Bruce Harvey on 0800 667 849
or visit www.faringdon.co.nz
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