TOTT 16 November 2017.compressed

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4 Talk of the Town ADVERTISING / NEWSDESK: (046) 624 4356 Find us on Facebook November 16, 2017 A mother’s personal story of raising twins with autism JON HOUZET AFTER lying in a drawer for 30 years, a great-grandmother’s true-life story of her immense challenge raising twins with autism has finally been published. Enid Mary Stanton, 81, currently lives at Diaz Old Age Home in Alexandria, but still calls her Bloemfontein smallholding home. Her daughter, Felicity McNamara, lives on an Alexandria farm and after years of persuading her mother to have her book published, was finally able to get it done when Stanton had a nasty fall and needed special care. She is recovering well and was in good spirits when TotT interviewed her at Diaz Home last weekend. She titled her book Through a Glass, Darkly – taken from the scripture in 1 Corinthians 13:11-12. Felicity was the first-born of her siblings, and was two years old when her mother gave birth to twins Kevin and Steven. Stanton’s overwhelming joy was soon clouded by the realisation that her boys were not normal. What follows is a story of a m ot h e r ’s fierce love and sheer determination to do the best she can to get the most out of life for her boys. With all the visits the family made to doctors to see how the twins could be treated, Stanton began keeping a diary of what was happening in the boys’ lives. “It was easier than explaining things over and over to the doctors,” she said. At first, the family did not know what was wrong with the twins as autism was not commonly known. As babies they seemed apathetic and reluctant to feed properly. Of the two, Kevin was worse off and a neurologist confirmed a brain haemorrhage occurred at birth. At the age of two, the boys started attending a school for cerebral palsied children. Steven began to show a violent temper. The twins were hospitalised to have extensive brain tests done. “It was only later, at Martin du Plessis School in Bloemfontein when the inspector came around and said he thinks it’s autism. They were about four then,” Stanton said. “We went to Red Cross Children’s Hospital in Cape Town where there was a doctor who was the only authority on autism in the country.” Amid Kevin’s destructiveness and Steven’s bad temper, the family found that Steven had an aptitude for music and art. There seemed to be no hope for Kevin, as the school said his mental disability was too great. A heart-wrenching decision was made when the principal at Steven’s school insisted that Kevin should be institutionalised to give Steven a better chance in life. Kevin was placed in a mental institution at the age of six. “We put Steven in a special school in Pretoria, Unica. He was very happy there and was allowed to stay until he was 23. I dedicated the book to Unica,” Stanton said. She continued writing about the t wins’ journey until they were 23. Currently Steven lives in a sheltered workshop in Bloemfontein and visits his mother every weekend when she is up there. Stanton also visits Kevin in the mental institution, but less frequently now as she has gotten older and more frail. There is a deep melancholy in Stanton’s story, but it is not all sad. The book is also balanced with funny anecdotes and gives a glimpse into life on the smallholdings near Bloemfontein during the years the twins were growing up. Originally a handwritten collection of diary notes, a friend of Stanton’s typed it up for her on an old typewriter about 30 years ago. Then it was put on floppy disc, which since corroded. Fortunately the typed version was still lying in a drawer at her smallholding, and as things worked out, her daughter was finally able to get the manuscript and put it in digital form. The book is self-published in hardcover, and the first batch already sold out. A second batch is being printed in softcover. It will be available at Fogar t y’s and Exclusive Books in Port Elizabeth. “Autism is still a mystery,” Stanton said. “I don’t know all the answers.” LIFE STORY: Enid Mary Stanton, 81, has finally had her true-life story of raising twins with autism published Picture: JON HOUZET Showing from Friday 17 November - Thursday 23 November CINEMA WILL BE CLOSED ON MONDAY, 20 NOVEMBER, FOR PRE-SEASON MAINTENANCE R50 Adults - R40 Children (U/13). 3D Movies - R65 per person. Pensioner’s Special Wednesdays - R30 Times are subject to change due to demand. Like our FACEBOOK page and stay informed of ŵĞĂŶĚŚĞůĂĞŶĞ WE WILL REMEMBER THEM: Members of the Moths, SA Legion, SA Air Force Association, First City Regiment and councillor Ray Schenk representing Ndlambe Municipality, laid wreaths in honour of fallen soldiers at the Remembrance Day parade at the Moth hall on Sunday Picture: JON HOUZET Old soldiers remember heroes of World War 1 JON HOUZET DREAMS DO COME TRUE! R4 300 000 SOLE MANDATE IF YOU were out shopping last Saturday, you might have come across Port Alfred High School pupils with collection tins for the SA Legion for “Poppy Day”, and for a donation you would get a poppy sticker. It was Remembrance Day, commemorated to mark the cessation of hostilities in World War 1, which ended 99 years ago. It has also become a day to remember the fallen in many wars since then.On Sunday, old military veterans were joined by a few current serving soldiers and members of the public for a Remembrance Day parade at the Moth Hall. Rev Des Spenceley officiated as chaplain and took his Scripture reading from 1 Samuel 17, the story of David facing Goliath. “David was just a shepherd boy who went about with a sling and a few stones in his pocket and maybe a staff,” Spenceley said. He related how David VIEW BY APPOINTMENT This gem is situated on R72, approx 29km from Port Alfred, 4.5km from Fish River mouth & 2km from Kap River. It is fully game fenced & has plenty of water. There are 2 houses & a large shed on the property, which enjoy amazing sea views. Contact Heather: 073 542 6202 The Anchorage, Gluckman Road: Tel 046 624 2454 Fax 046 624 3347 www.jawitzportalfred.co.za e-mail: admin@jawitzportalfred.co.za volunteered to be Israel’s champion to fight the Philistine giant, Goliath, when others were too afraid. Declining the offer of armour and a sword, he went into battle with just his sling and a few stones, and his faith in the Lord. “It’s quite a gruesome story, but maybe not as bad as what some men saw in World War 1,” Spenceley said. “And then World War 2 was even worse. “We haven’t had that expected peace after two world wars, there have been many smaller wa r s . ” Spenceley spoke about courage and bravery, from people who risked their lives to save others from drowning, to men like David who go out to battle not knowing if they would come back. “Many gave the supreme sacrifice. For those who came back we give thanks to God,” he said. “We face our own wars in life which require courage and bravery. We might think we can’t overcome them, but with God nothing is impossible.” Spenceley quoted one of King George VI’s inspiring messages to the soldiers about to go to war against Nazi Germany, and ended with two poems about soldiers. Hymns were sung and the wreath laying ceremony followed at which a bugler played the Last Post and Reveille, and a piper played while members of the Moths, SA Legion, SA Air Force Association, First City Regiment and councillor Ray Schenk representing Ndlambe Municipality, laid wreaths in honour of fallen soldiers. The well-known excerpt from Robert Laurence Binyon’s poem, For the Fallen, was read: “They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old. Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the going down of the sun and in the morning we will remember them”. VISIT OUR NEW FACEBOOK PAGE TO STAY INFORMED! Multi Security Services

November 16, 2017 ADVERTISING / NEWSDESK: (046) 624 4356 Find us on Facebook Talk of the Town 5 VISIONARY PROJECT: The Port Alfred Lions Club continues assisting folk in the community who need spectacles as part of the Lions International Bright Sight project. Pictured, from left, are the chairman of the Sunset Park Residents Committee Richard Francis, Bright Sight convenor and charter president of PA Lions Rob Brunette, 94-year-old Sunset Park resident Bill Hill who received his new spectacles and Lions past president Lloyd Stephenson Readers give their views on home schooling OUR most recent Facebook question asked readers what they think of home schooling. We asked if there were any readers who are currently home schooling and what the challenges as well as the advantages are. Most respondents said they had done home schooling but agreed that it takes really dedicated parents to make it a success. Kate van Rensburg said: “As a new home schooling mom, I am on a steep learning curve but can already see the love of learning has returned. Not stifled by a dull restrictive and substandard CAPS curriculum, children can explore their passions and learning can be made fun. It really allows children to ask questions, think critically and work outside the box in academic and practical skills which are important qualities our children will need in their future careers. This Bela Bill if passed will cause unimaginable damage to home schoolers, not be mention the knock on effect of pressurising already struggling state schools.” Carol-Ann Rattey Stiekema said that home-schooling is not for everyone, “and nobody should feel pressurised into educating their kids from home. It is a challenging but uniquely rewarding experience that can be really quite terrifying initially for the h-s [home-school] fa c i l i t at o r ”. She said it takes a brave person to make the decision and without God's leading, direction and support she wouldn’t have had the courage to home school her kids. Stiekema believes in educating kids to educate themselves; passion has to ignite the desire to learn and home school gave her the opportunity to spend time identifying the best learning style for each child and tailoring their experience to develop a passion for lifelong education. She feels the best educators in the world are freely available on Youtube to inspire and explain difficult concepts. Mary-ann van der Wath said she is a home educator. “My two children are a year ahead. There were many reasons why we chose to home school. We are happy, till now, now we are stressing about the government trying to implement a new law, the Bela Bill. There is a shortage of state schools, not enough space for children. But instead of taking this opportunity to change that, home educators are now getting targeted. There is bullying, rape and pregnancies in state schools, but again the state is not tackling the problem at hand. Instead, the people who chose to home school gets targeted? Seriously, our South Africa is failing on too many levels. And now finally they are falling our children,” said Van der Wath. Sally Ross Miller said she home schooled her two daughters for several years – the eldest was dux of Cedara Agricultural college in KZN last year and is currently the top student at NMMU in her honours year of agricultural management, their second daughter is completing her first year at Stenden and doing very well. Her son is being home schooled. “Home schooling worked fantastically for my girls as they became motivated self-learners learning to take responsibility. Home-schooling allows our children to find their passions and strengths and to go forward in the direction of their choosing so that when ready for the work place, they are already streets ahead of the mainstream schooled counterparts who wasted 12 years being force-fed curricula subjects that do not interest them and set them back years. Adele Fivaz Steck said: “We home school, it is challenging when you work full-time, but it can be done. Individual attention outweighs normal school. Totally agree with Mary-Ann, bad stuff happening in some schools. The upside too of home schooling is there is no homework and the child can work at his/her own pace.” Stephne Evans said she was very sceptical about home schooling until I she saw how it should be done. “The key factor is a committed parent/teacher. In our area the children are stress free, happy and doing far better than in "big" schools,” said Evans. Dorothy Anne Sutton said her granddaughter was home schooled for all her high school years and she finished last year and got a university entrance pass matric. “I don’t think it would work with all children, but it was a lot less stressful for mother and child than formal schooling with projects, homework and all the other school things,” Sutton said. Heritage Mall, Port Alfred Tel: (046) 624 1648 Fax: (046) 624 3547 E-Mail: leachpharm@border.co.za

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