TOTT 16 November 2017.compressed

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November 16, 2017
A mother’s personal story of
raising twins with autism
JON HOUZET
AFTER lying in a drawer for 30
years, a great-grandmother’s
true-life story of her immense
challenge raising twins with autism
has finally been published.
Enid Mary Stanton, 81, currently
lives at Diaz Old Age Home in
Alexandria, but still calls her
Bloemfontein smallholding home. Her
daughter, Felicity McNamara, lives on
an Alexandria farm and after years of
persuading her mother to have her
book published, was finally able to get
it done when Stanton had a nasty fall
and needed special care.
She is recovering well and was in
good spirits when TotT interviewed her
at Diaz Home last weekend.
She titled her book Through a Glass,
Darkly – taken from the scripture in 1
Corinthians 13:11-12.
Felicity was the first-born of her
siblings, and was two years old when
her mother gave birth to twins Kevin
and Steven. Stanton’s overwhelming
joy was soon clouded by the
realisation that her boys were not
normal. What follows is a story of a
m ot h e r ’s fierce love and sheer
determination to do the best she can
to get the most out of life for her boys.
With all the visits the family made
to doctors to see how the twins could
be treated, Stanton began keeping a
diary of what was happening in the
boys’ lives.
“It was easier than explaining things
over and over to the doctors,” she said.
At first, the family did not know
what was wrong with the twins as
autism was not commonly known. As
babies they seemed apathetic and
reluctant to feed properly. Of the two,
Kevin was worse off and a neurologist
confirmed a brain haemorrhage
occurred at birth.
At the age of two, the boys started
attending a school for cerebral palsied
children. Steven began to show a
violent temper. The twins were
hospitalised to have extensive brain
tests done.
“It was only later, at Martin du
Plessis School in Bloemfontein when
the inspector came around and said
he thinks it’s autism. They were about
four then,” Stanton said.
“We went to Red Cross Children’s
Hospital in Cape Town where there
was a doctor who was the only
authority on autism in the country.”
Amid Kevin’s destructiveness and
Steven’s bad temper, the family found
that Steven had an aptitude for music
and art. There seemed to be no hope
for Kevin, as the school said his
mental disability was too great.
A heart-wrenching decision was
made when the principal at Steven’s
school insisted that Kevin should be
institutionalised to give Steven a better
chance in life. Kevin was placed in a
mental institution at the age of six.
“We put Steven in a special school
in Pretoria, Unica. He was very happy
there and was allowed to stay until he
was 23. I dedicated the book to
Unica,” Stanton said.
She continued writing about the
t wins’ journey until they were 23.
Currently Steven lives in a sheltered
workshop in Bloemfontein and visits
his mother every weekend when she
is up there. Stanton also visits Kevin
in the mental institution, but less
frequently now as she has gotten
older and more frail.
There is a deep melancholy in
Stanton’s story, but it is not all sad.
The book is also balanced with
funny anecdotes and gives a
glimpse into life on the
smallholdings near Bloemfontein
during the years the
twins were growing up.
Originally a handwritten
collection of diary notes, a
friend of Stanton’s typed it up
for her on an old typewriter
about 30 years ago. Then it
was put on floppy disc,
which since corroded.
Fortunately the typed
version was still lying in
a drawer at her smallholding,
and as things
worked out, her daughter was
finally able to get the
manuscript and put it in
digital form. The book is
self-published in hardcover,
and the first batch already
sold out. A second batch is
being printed in softcover.
It will be available at
Fogar t y’s and Exclusive
Books in Port Elizabeth.
“Autism is still a mystery,”
Stanton said. “I don’t know all
the answers.”
LIFE STORY:
Enid Mary
Stanton, 81,
has finally had
her true-life
story of
raising twins
with autism
published
Picture: JON
HOUZET
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WE WILL REMEMBER THEM: Members of the
Moths, SA Legion, SA Air Force Association,
First City Regiment and councillor Ray
Schenk representing Ndlambe Municipality,
laid wreaths in honour of fallen soldiers at
the Remembrance Day parade at the Moth
hall on Sunday
Picture: JON HOUZET
Old soldiers remember
heroes of World War 1
JON HOUZET
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IF YOU were out shopping last
Saturday, you might have come
across Port Alfred High School
pupils with collection tins for the
SA Legion for “Poppy Day”, and
for a donation you would get a
poppy sticker.
It was Remembrance Day,
commemorated to mark the
cessation of hostilities in World
War 1, which ended 99 years
ago. It has also become a day to
remember the fallen in many
wars since then.On Sunday, old
military veterans were joined by
a few current serving soldiers
and members of the public for a
Remembrance Day parade at the
Moth Hall. Rev Des Spenceley
officiated as chaplain and took
his Scripture reading from 1
Samuel 17, the story of David
facing Goliath.
“David was just a shepherd
boy who went about with a sling
and a few stones in his pocket
and maybe a staff,” Spenceley
said. He related how David
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volunteered to be Israel’s
champion to fight the Philistine
giant, Goliath, when others were
too afraid. Declining the offer of
armour and a sword, he went
into battle with just his sling and
a few stones, and his faith in the
Lord.
“It’s quite a gruesome story,
but maybe not as bad as what
some men saw in World War 1,”
Spenceley said. “And then World
War 2 was even worse.
“We haven’t had that expected
peace after two world wars,
there have been many smaller
wa r s . ”
Spenceley spoke about
courage and bravery, from
people who risked their lives to
save others from drowning, to
men like David who go out to
battle not knowing if they would
come back.
“Many gave the supreme
sacrifice. For those who came
back we give thanks to God,” he
said.
“We face our own wars in life
which require courage and
bravery. We might think we can’t
overcome them, but with God
nothing is impossible.”
Spenceley quoted one of King
George VI’s inspiring messages
to the soldiers about to go to war
against Nazi Germany, and
ended with two poems about
soldiers.
Hymns were sung and the
wreath laying ceremony followed
at which a bugler played the Last
Post and Reveille, and a piper
played while members of the
Moths, SA Legion, SA Air Force
Association, First City Regiment
and councillor Ray Schenk
representing Ndlambe
Municipality, laid wreaths in
honour of fallen soldiers.
The well-known excerpt from
Robert Laurence Binyon’s poem,
For the Fallen, was read: “They
shall grow not old, as we that are
left grow old. Age shall not
weary them, nor the years
condemn. At the going down of
the sun and in the morning we
will remember them”.
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