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Bright coloured photo-gimp avengers, assemble! Now obviously I’m exaggerating the meteorological woes, but we definitely have a sharp appreciation of the good times, spurring us into action to grasp the clear days with both hands, occasionally defying all sensibility and, on this particular occasion, considered medical advice… An unseasonal spell has recently scorched the Mournes, the evocative smell of burning heather hanging in the air, pasty white limbs unveiled and social media feeds crammed with exaggerated descriptions of riding exploits. Nursing recently acquired injuries and awaiting surgery on a mangled thumb and torn shoulder respectively, my friend Eddie and I have jealously observed the fun unfolding, tortured by the knowledge that we may be witnessing our only shot at summer pass by without us. With the forecast due to turn imminently and the trails at their most prime, an idea was born that could only be considered by grown men who really should know better. It was time to ‘test’ the injuries – after all, surely we couldn’t make them much worse and what doesn’t kill you… Choose your crew. Choice of riding crew is key for such foolhardy exploits and we knew fellow professional mountain bike guide Andrew could be counted on to carry all the requisite tools, antiinflammatories and chocolate needed to keep us rolling. Another friend, Chris, would be joining us halfway, but afflicted with a proper job he was unable to bunk off as early as plans dictated. To document the efforts, we conscripted Caolan, Eddie’s son and media student, himself celebrating his last day in full-time education [Doesn’t sound very full-time – Ed]. 68