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Why Have Indian-Americans Won the Last 10<br />
National Spelling Bees?<br />
Ananya Vinay, a 12-year-old from<br />
Fresno, became the 2017 Scripps<br />
National Spelling Bee champ by<br />
correctly spelling the word marocain<br />
(it’s a type of dress fabric). Vinay is the<br />
first solo champ since 2013 and, in<br />
addition to her winning word,<br />
successfully spelled cheiropompholyx,<br />
durchkomponiert, and tchefuncte to<br />
earn her top spot at the top. Vinay’s<br />
achievement is her achievement alone.<br />
But it’s also one that keeping in<br />
pattern: she’s the 13th consecutive<br />
South Asian-American — including<br />
co-champions from 2014, 2015, and<br />
2016 — to win the competition. Is there<br />
a reason for the streak? Scientists have studied the streak for the past few<br />
years to figure that out.<br />
The most commonly cited factor of Indian-American spelling dominance is<br />
cultural, as Indian-Americans have invested heavily in education as the path<br />
to successfully escaping the disadvantages that often come with being an<br />
immigrant. More than one-third of Indian-Americans end up with<br />
post-graduate degrees, with another third having at least a college degree. In<br />
America, Indian-Americans attend college at a high rate, but once there are<br />
virtually absent from sports, music, and other activities.
And considering that an estimated 90 percent of Indian-Americans who go to<br />
college earn their degrees in technical fields, primarily engineering, it seems<br />
that there is an underlying cultural understanding of what fields and activities<br />
should and should not be pursued. And with this strong emphasis on<br />
education, children of professionally successful Indian-Americans have owned<br />
the Spelling Bee for more than a decade. These parents now have the<br />
economic means to give their kids the resources to succeed, and for most<br />
Indian-American parents, that means education.<br />
Some have speculated that Indian-American spelling domination is a result of<br />
British colonialism, as Indians have been taught English, giving them a natural<br />
familiarity with the language. Others insist that Indian-Americans place a high<br />
value on memorization in education, while the general American education<br />
system makes memorization a small part of the general curriculum. Still others<br />
believe that the competitive advantage comes from the South Asian-American<br />
“minor league” spelling bee circuit, where aspiring spellers can get a leg up by<br />
already putting their skills to the test against other top spellers.<br />
Ultimately, there’s no one reason for the prolonged spelling supremacy by<br />
Indian-Americans, and each individual speller deserves credit for their<br />
accomplishments. But understanding the context of the community only<br />
makes this streak even more remarkable.
6 Friends Every Mom Needs<br />
Why connecting with grown-ups is important for your sanity, and how to pick (and keep)<br />
them<br />
Not long ago, frustrated that my 3-month-old refused to sleep in his brand-new crib, I posted<br />
the following on Facebook: "Patty is wondering why Will hates his crib so very much."<br />
Almost instantly, my friend Angela, who had a sleepless 2-month-old of her own at home,<br />
sent me several suggestions for getting him to sleep in his crib. One of them actually<br />
worked (for a night or two anyway).<br />
Having these friends—one who was going through the same stuff I was and one who had<br />
already been through it—has been a lifesaver to me. I turn to the been-there, done-that gals<br />
for parenting advice, my fellow clueless new-mom peers when I need someone to<br />
commiserate with, and my pals without kids when I need a night out—and, let's be real, a<br />
cocktail or two. No matter how old our kids are, we moms need our confidantes. These six<br />
are lifesavers—but before you freak out, thinking, "I don't even have six friends," don't<br />
worry: One woman might fill several roles, making you one lucky gal.
The Mom in the Same Boat<br />
Why you need her: She gets it. Theresa Heroux of Vernon, NJ, mom of 4-year-old Julia,<br />
spends a lot of time with her friend Erin, who's also a single mom. "When my married mom<br />
friends want to get together, they don't understand why I can't immediately agree. I have to<br />
find a babysitter," she says. "They just don't get it. But Erin does. We always have the kids<br />
with us when we get together, and even though it's hectic, it's more relaxed because we<br />
don't have to worry about finding, paying, and rushing home to relieve a sitter."<br />
How to keep her: Whether the two of you are stay-at-home moms, working moms, or<br />
single moms, try to get some one-on-one time without the kids—and make it fun, says Amy<br />
Kovarick, coauthor of Baby on Board: Becoming a Mother Without Losing Yourself and a<br />
mom of four. Yes, you're busy with work, the kids, errands, the house, and other craziness,<br />
but the more time away from Chuck E. Cheese, the better. Make a date: You both deserve<br />
it—and probably for the exact same reasons!<br />
The No-Kids Pal<br />
Why you need her: For adult conversation—and so you can act like you're still cool.<br />
"Mother is my favorite role, but not my only one," says Mary Moore of Austin, TX, a<br />
stay-at-home mom and an author. "It's so hard to get together with other moms because<br />
someone's kid always has to nap or go to school or has some other commitment, and we<br />
can never easily agree on a time or place to meet," she says. "With my friends who don't<br />
have kids yet, that's not an issue." Another plus: "They're still into the latest restaurants,<br />
fashion, and gossip," says Moore. "There are a lot of moms who just say 'Forget it, I'm too<br />
crazed,' but that's not me." And perhaps best of all, she adds, "They're a respite from all the<br />
mom chatter, like, say, discussing at length the local preschools years before we need to.<br />
My single or non-mom friends are testament that there is life outside of 'cookies versus<br />
cupcakes.'"<br />
How to keep her: Put aside all the mommy stuff for an hour or two. Take time to find out<br />
what's new with her, and be honest with yourself about her reaction to your kid talk. She<br />
may eat up your cute stories, or she may not be so fascinated by the embarrassing thing<br />
your 4-year-old said. As Kovarick puts it, when talking about one of her single friends: "She<br />
likes my child and she likes to see him—kind of like she likes to see my dog." So when the<br />
two meet up, they go halfsies. "I send my son to the babysitter for an hour so we can go for<br />
a drink at a restaurant," she says, "then it's back to my house—with my three-year-old<br />
running around." Compromise is key, even if your pal adores your kids.
The Been-There, Done-That Mom<br />
Why you need her: She gets you through your "I don't know what I'm supposed to do next"<br />
moments. For Jen Matlack of Bethel, CT, mom of 3-year-old Mae, this friend is Janet,<br />
whose kids are 22 and 20. "If I have any concerns—Mae not napping, Mae constipated,<br />
Mae not having playdates, or maybe my own parenting worries—I always check in with<br />
Janet. She has offered me a lot of reassuring guidance," says Matlack. "And even though<br />
she's my older, wiser parenting friend, she's also a kid at heart, just like me, so when I'm<br />
around her, I get the best of both worlds: wisdom but also a wild side."<br />
How to keep her: The good news is that she probably loves giving advice as much as you<br />
love getting it. "Motherhood can seem like a thankless job, so it's great to be recognized<br />
and be able to share what you've learned," says Kovarick. If you've asked for help, try to<br />
remember to call and tell her how well her ideas worked out. And even though you may not<br />
know yet what it's like to be in her shoes, you can still be a sounding board for her older-kid<br />
problems.
The I'll-Do-Anything-For-You Buddy<br />
Why you need her: She'll help you with your garage sale, drive the kids to soccer, and<br />
bring over lasagna when you're dealing with a crisis. For Erin Hart of Arlington, VA, her<br />
husband's best gal pal, Laurie, is this friend. "When I was pregnant with my second child,<br />
we were in the process of redoing our closets, and my baby girl arrived a week early. Let's<br />
just say the bag I brought to the hospital was a grocery bag, with a nursing bra, underwear,<br />
a toothbrush, and a hairbrush. There wasn't much time." The day after Erin's daughter<br />
Emerson was born, Laurie called a sitter to watch her own two boys, came over, and<br />
washed, folded, and organized all the baby's clothes. "It was incredible," says Hart. "She<br />
basically dropped everything to come to our rescue. And the first week we were home, she<br />
brought over a fully cooked meal. I'll never forget that."<br />
How to keep her: Friendships don't come with vows, like marriages do, says Marla Paul,<br />
author of The Friendship Crisis. It helps to remind your friends that you care. "So many<br />
friendships fall apart because one friend feels neglected," says Paul. So return the favor.<br />
Maybe you don't have the time to drop everything, as she always seems to, but make an<br />
effort. When she's going through a tough time (or even having a tough week), instead of<br />
cooking the family a homemade meal, as she might, drop off a pizza or a gift certificate for<br />
her favorite Chinese takeout.<br />
The Slightly Glam Girlfriend<br />
Why you need her: For inspiration (it is possible to be a fashionable mom), advice (how<br />
does she get out the door looking so great?), and a wardrobe you can borrow. My friend<br />
Mary fits neatly (of course) into this slot for me. Every photo she e-mails me of her and her<br />
daughter shows the two of them looking gorgeous, whether in their matching bikinis or out<br />
to dinner at a fancy restaurant I couldn't imagine going to with a kid.<br />
How to keep her: You admire your friend's got-it-togetherness, so tell her, says Kovarick.<br />
She surely works hard at it and will appreciate the compliment. Watch out for your own<br />
jealousy or embarrassment, though. Most of us feel that way sometimes, but if she's a real<br />
friend, she's not trying to make you feel bad about your relative lack of style or organization.<br />
She likes you for you—though if you're still wearing mom jeans, maybe she can help you<br />
trade up.
The Brutally Honest Pal<br />
Why you need her: We all need to hear the truth sometimes. It can sting, true, even if you<br />
asked for your friend's opinion. But if she cares enough to tell you not just what you want to<br />
hear, then she's a keeper. For many women, sisters play this role; for others, it's a longtime<br />
friend, or a particularly outspoken newer one. The trick is distinguishing between someone<br />
who's just bossy and someone who actually puts thought about you into her opinions. You'll<br />
know the difference (one clue: If she only ever criticizes your choices, she's not helping).<br />
How to keep her: It may take a day or two for you to digest what she's told you, but once<br />
you have done so, call your friend and thank her for being honest—even if you don't agree,<br />
says Kovarick. We don't have to be exactly like our friends—Twitter would be seriously<br />
boring if we were—as long as we look out for each other, even while we're looking out for<br />
our kids.