The Good Life – July-August 2017

More documents

Recommendations

Info

MR. FULL-TIME DAD The Toddler Diet Revolution Get Your Beach Body by Summer's End BY: BEN HANSON – MR. FULL-TIME DAD • PHOTO BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA Any stay-at-home parent will attest, not a day goes by without learning something new about your child, yourself or the greater experience of life. My son, Macklin, turns two in late July, and already he’s taught me valuable lessons about humility, love, creativity … even the actual process of learning itself. Somewhere along the line, he also apparently signed a lifetime contract to teach a master class on patience. It’s a pass/fail class that I had no business signing up for. Not all lessons are quite so lofty. Often, I simply end the day with a better understanding of how to clean yogurt off the dining room wall. That was just yesterday, in fact. I was feeling pretty confident in my yogurt cleaning abilities, but Mack thought otherwise and gave me yet another chance to get it right. As I was scrubbing, another light bulb went off. Perhaps this isn’t a cleaning lesson at all. Maybe I’ve been looking at this wall of yogurt all wrong. And it hit me. Mack’s immensely frustrating bedside manner (at the dinner table) is actually a pretty clever, five-part diet plan. I took a step back and ran through our typical mealtime scenarios in my head. It was all there — calorie reduction, gastrointestinal maintenance, even stress control. I 10 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com thought about calling Oprah immediately, but figured it might be too early in the process. What I need are a few real-life case studies to validate this toddler diet revolution. So, good news for you. I realize the summer of 2017 is already half over — the longest day of the year is now in the rearview — but there’s still plenty of bathing suit season left to make one last push toward attaining a beach body worthy of a double-take. Use these tips, report back and let’s get (me) rich! Fling Your Plate Across the Room At the outset of any new endeavor, it’s good to keep things simple. Thus, step one of the Toddler Diet Revolution (yes, I’ve since trademarked it) is simply to throw all of your food directly on the floor. You’re allowed one … maybe two bites, but seriously, fatty, that’s it. And if you’re an adult that still drinks cow milk, throw that on the floor, too, then use your newfound free time to deconstruct the idea of drinking cow milk. Poop Whilst Eating Step two requires a little more effort. Maybe even a grunt or two. The concept, however, remains simple. You’ve probably heard about the concept of “calories in/calories out,” but that brings exercise into the mix, which I will assure you
now has no place in the TDR (also trademarked). Step two of TDR is simply to poop out those calories as soon as you take them in … right at the dinner table. You might even be able to burn an extra calorie or two by staring down each guest at the dinner table as you go about your business. In terms of sheer efficiency, you won’t find a more effective diet tip. Exfoliate to Cut Calories Let’s be honest. The driving force behind any weight loss attempt is to look good on the outside. We can pretend we’re working toward better health and wellness, but it’s all about turning heads. The TDR takes this into account by including a step wholly dedicated to skincare. Again, sticking with the theme of simplicity, all you need to do is take the food you’d normally shove into your mouth and, instead, rub it all over your face, arms, legs, ears, neck … any exposed flesh will do. And don’t forget about your hair. Juice It (With Your Bare Hands) Periodically, Mack will take whatever it is we’re trying to nourish him with and, instead of eating it, he’ll sit there and just squeeze the you know what out of it. It could be a sandwich, a bowl of pasta, crackers. His favorites seem to be avocado and banana (both of which happen to be great exfoliators — see step three above). I finally figured out what he was really doing: destressing. It makes sense, and while I’m not a big fan of this step myself, it does negate the tendency to overeat due to stress. Pretend It’s Wine If you’ve made it this far, the TDR rewards your hard work with a truly indulgent final step. You get all the delectable benefits of eating a fine meal without any of the belly bloat. It’s the chew-andspit method, and it’s as simple as it gets. You can get elbows deep in the most delicious, most nutrient devoid fast food value meal of your choice without any of the consequences. Just chew it up, and spit it out like a sommelier exploring a new flight of reds. Simple. Effective. It’s the TDR, and it’s your answer to ending summer looking your best. • urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 11
Page 2 and 3: CELEBRATING FOUR YEARS OF THE GOOD
Page 4 and 5: 06 NOT IN MY FAMILY - PART ONE OPIA
Page 6 and 7: BY: BRITTNEY GOODMAN “Dead Overdo
Page 8 and 9: 18 months they “have really seen
Page 12 and 13: BY: MEGHAN FEIR • PHOTOS BY: URBA
Page 14 and 15: are thriving. Thirty days later, th
Page 16 and 17: 16 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia
Page 18 and 19: BY: ALEXANDRA FLOERSCH • PHOTOS B
Page 20 and 21: PHOTOS SUBMITTED BY: KEVIN WALLEVAN
Page 22 and 23: to a refugee camp in Angola, Africa
Page 24 and 25: BY: MATT LACHOWITZER PURCHASING A U
Page 26 and 27: 26 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia
Page 28 and 29: CO: “Legally Blonde.” I don’t
Page 30 and 31: BY: BRITTNEY GOODMAN Shane Tibiatow
Page 32 and 33: were brought aboard our ship and sp
Page 34 and 35: His Navy friendships are valued:

The Good Life – July-August 2017

You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles

Delete template?

Save as template?