The Ultimate Body Language Book

thoracic (upper) and lumbar (lower) regions where the upper curves slight backwards and the lower
slightly forward. To be technical, the ears, shoulders, hips, knees and ankles should align as if a plumb
line where run from top to bottom. This is called the neutral position because the body is best able to
hold this posture without stressing joints, muscle and bones. What it really means is that the weight of
the body is held by the bones and not by the muscles. You can imagine the structure of a house whose
weight is carried down from the rafters to the side and supporting walls, then straight down to the
foundation. A house that leans puts uneven stress over certain walls causing a risk of collapse. A good
posture promotes breathing, circulation and balance. Persistent improper posture can lead to general
discomfort, long term damage, or even deformities. While there are medical reasons for holding good
posture, there are certainly nonverbal reasons for keeping a good level body.
Having rounded shoulders for example, shows that a person is inactive in the conversation, as does
leaning away or even closing the body off. We also attribute negative ideas to people with poor posture.
People that slumped over or habitually lean on their elbows while seated or against a wall come off as
lazy and careless; sloppy. People with poor posture often come across as lacking confidence.
Conversely, being too rigid can come off as stiff, awkward, stressed, nervous and uncomfortable.
Holding good posture shows the world that one is in control, confident and powerful.
Shorter people can even add several inches with an upright posture over someone with poor posture.
The effect is magnified even moreso while seated, and can even level the field entirely. A posture
experiment is simple so feel free to try it at the next board meeting and see just how much height you
can gain just by holding a more upright posture. The postural advantage therefore is best used by
striking a happy medium between being proper and upright but not appearing stiff. Keep the shoulders
back, with your spin generally straight and head upright.
Body orientation, a subset of posture, can also convey information. For example, having weight
unevenly distributed across the legs can show that a person is ready to leave a conversation by
slumping toward the desired exit direction. Usually this is a door, or hallway. Reading or using this
posture can tell you when its time to wrap things up or tell others when you would prefer to end the
conversation. I use this skill on adamant door to door salespeople. Simply by orienting my body away
from the salesman and even slightly moving in that direction I can show the salesman that I am serious
about my disinterest. You can easily do the same.
Leaning towards or away also conveys useful meanings. Someone interested in the conversation will
literally be thrusting themselves forward into the conversation by moving their bodies forward toward
the speaker. Other times the body leans much more subtly. For example, an interested person might
stand, shifting their weight slightly forward or might teeter just a touch to the side to display interest or
connectivity to someone to their left or right. Because leaning requires a significant amount of work to
do, not to mention balance, it is a significant nonverbal message especially when it is seen in the torso
since it carries a large portion of our body weight. However, when the brain requires it to evade other
people that we dislike or favour those we like, the body will hardly realize it. There will be times that
distancing behaviours are not terribly dramatic as even just a few inches tells us that ideas and the
people that voice them are diverging. While seated, interest driven leaning can be even more dramatic
as weight is placed on the knees almost in a sprinter position as someone is trying to accept as much
information as possible.
Steps to perfect posture
1. Stand upright, shoulders relaxed yet up and back.
2. Align your neck with your spine with your head back and level. Don’t let your head droop and ‘lead’
you.
3. Push your rear end forward so as to shift your weight onto your hips and legs without becoming
overly rigid.