The Ultimate Body Language Book

speak, by observation and practice. ‘Naturals’, as it were, may only exist because instead of ignoring
body language like most people do, they bring it to consciousness early on and follow successful
example around them. Their minds are subconsciously prepared to imitate good postures and appear in
control and confident. As we will see, good body language isn’t something you are either born with, or
must be without forever. It can be learned.
I recall a time when my wife and I were visiting a fellow who was giving away a second hand washing
machine which would I would use for a rental apartment. His body language made him appear inept
and he came across as awkward. He’d cross his arms when I was talking and when I’d make a point, he
would do his best to contradict me. He’d lean in too close and his body odor was overpowering. This
person had no reason to be dishonest, he explained that he needed the space in his house for another
project. We took the machine because at the time we needed it, however since he gave us such a
negative impression we still don’t know, to this day, if the machine works or not. I’ve never hooked it
up or used it! My wife and I got a terrible impression of the guy and the feeling attached itself to
everything about him including his free washer. It didn’t affect us while we were there, but as soon as
we left, we were able to verbalize reasons for storing, instead of using the machine. We simply didn’t
trust that the machine would work properly despite his verbal assurances, and instead of taking the
energy to move it into the basement to test it, we stored it in the garage and purchased a new set. His
body language told us that something must be wrong with the washing machine, that perhaps it ruined
clothing or leaked and he just wanted some sucker to help him dispose of the machine. Other people
who aren’t studied in body language but finding themselves in a similar situation would have
concluded that their ‘gut feeling’ was off. Since I could read his cues, it was obvious to me why I didn’t
trust him, but I did have to explain to my wife why she felt so uneasy.
This story illustrates the point about the strength of nonverbal body language and how salient and
important it is. Even though the result was at no cost to him (and little cost to me), if he had been a
commissioned salesman, or salesman of any sort, he would have lost the deal with certainty.