The Ultimate Body Language Book

elationships, with family members or children since touching is a normal part of everyday life. Any
form of touch reduction can signal that a person is at odds with another and that they might be hiding
something. If touch isn’t normal, however, then measuring touch reduction won’t be possible. In this
case, look for distancing behaviours instead like arm withdrawal or leaning away, especially in the
torso as these are forms of distancing of which touch forms a subset. Touch is an aspect of closeness
that is simply not tolerated well between those who have different ideas. Couples have even been
shown to draw away from each other when they are generally unhappy with their relationship, and tend
to touch themselves far more frequently than they touch other people.
Touch reduction is usually accompanied with stressful questions or when information is presented that
creates anxiety. Closeness can also be useful when assessing someone because it will invoke distancing
desires. When talking with a spouse or child, sit as close as that which you are accustomed to before
taking up serious matters. If someone is hiding something, they will usually push away or even stand
up looking for ways to exit or change the subject. Holding the hand of a child can be particularly useful
when discussing matters of dishonesty. If they wish to exit the discussion, they will try to tug their hand
away.
Chapter 16 - Deception and Lie Detection
The Truth Bias
A review of the literature on lying and truth telling shows us that an average sixty-seven percent
accuracy is found when detecting the truth, whereas forty-four percent is found while detecting
deception. In other words, people’s accuracy at detecting truths is usually higher than their accuracy at
detecting lies! This is what is called the truth bias. Some possible explanations for the truth bias stem
from the fact that in everyday encounters we usually deal with honest people. While lying is pervasive,
it doesn’t happen nearly as often as does lying. Thus, we expect people to be telling the truth and are
therefore better at detecting it.
Another possible reason for our inherent truth bias is because it would be detrimental to act
suspiciously while speaking with others just in case they were telling the truth. If our default was to
label other people as deceptive, we’d be constantly interrupting others to clarify statements, or our
suspicion would have our minds busy fact checking at a later time. Our conversations would be littered
with statements such as ‘That can’t be true’ or ‘Really, I can’t see that’ or ‘I’ll believe that when I see it’
which sometimes it is, but usually not. This would be time consuming and counterproductive given the
nature of real to life situations, that is that people normally tell the truth. Our social rules also do not
permit us to act suspiciously and if we did so would alienate others and prevent us from formulating
alliances or friendships. In fact, ignoring the faults of others is the primary reason we allow ourselves
to associate with anyone at all. Those with a memory for detail find it hard to ‘let things go’ or ‘ignore
subtle unimportant flaws’ which can be detrimental for relationships. The truth bias tells us that letting
little ‘white lies’ go, is an integral part of human nature, perhaps even necessary.