The Ultimate Body Language Book

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Chapter 2 – The Basics Of Understanding Body Language Baselining Versus Innate Actions A ‘true smile,’ where the corners of they eyes crease, is difficult to fake There are some key body language gestures which are mentioned throughout the book that don’t need
to be compare to a baseline as they tend to be innate and not learned. These gestures will give us clues as to whether actions are currently on their natural baseline or are as a result of some other underlying stress. Some things to consider when formulating a baseline includes a catalog of how often a person gestures and which direction their eyes stare when they are thinking and analyzing (can be an indicator of creative thought or recalling as we shall cover in a later chapter), how do they act when they are successful and what do they do when they are stressed? It is difficult and probably unnecessary for me to offer help in establishing baseline techniques since it’s a natural process that we all do daily. However, the take home message has more to do with protecting ourselves from thinking that all gestures in body language are universal and ubiquitous across all people. This book will help determine cues that fall in and around the baselines of the people around you and provided educated guesses as to their meaning, but this is not to say that each cue means the same thing for everyone. A final word on proper establishment of baselines is to place most emphasis of a person when they are relaxed or when they are in a normal mood and state. Don’t baseline someone when they are getting ready to go on stage to speak in public or if they are going through a divorce, or have had a recent death in the family. Their body language will be misleading and uncharacteristic. Definitely take culture and intuition into your baseline, but avoid things like projecting and making assumptions. Assumptions clog our ability to see what is really happening because we are putting our thoughts and feelings which we have inside ourselves on someone else. Our life history and experiences do play some purpose when we read people, but they can’t be the dominant force, so don’t let your biases control how you read people. Keep in mind too that almost every other person will look at body language naively. They will think that “A” means “B”, when in fact it might mean “C”, “D” or nothing at all. As an aside, you might want to be careful about using body language to influence others, since your signals might be misread or simply go unnoticed altogether. So the message here is, just because so and so does this or that, it doesn’t mean one hundred percent this or that! Compare apples to apples and oranges to oranges and him or her to his or her baseline! This will produce a much more accurate read. Chapter 2 – The Basics Of Understanding Body Language Intuition Versus Perception In Body Language: Seeing What We Want To See Research by Harvard Robert Rosenthal conducted in the 1960s showed how people see what they want to see, instead of what’s really happening. In his study, he had set up two groups of students with a maze constructed for their subjects – rats. One group of students were told that their rats where “dumb” and the other group was told that their rates were “smart”, specifically bred to run mazes better then the other rats. While both sets of rats performed equally as well, the students with the preconceived notion that their rats where dumb catalogued behaviours supporting their initial impressions. The students with the “dumb” rats found that there where lethargic and dull. The rats of the group who thought they had smart rats documented how bright, alert and efficient the rats where as they made their way through the maze. Clearly from this study, our preconceived notions are potent and misleading. The same pitfalls can arise during the analysis of body language. If we truly wish to see nervous, emotional or confident body language, we will. But if we open our minds, we might see something completely different from what we initially expected to see.
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Chapter 1 - Why The Study Of Body L
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Looking Askance And Eye Rolling Ste
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The Stiff Or Curved Arm Objects As
Page 7 and 8: The Male Crotch Display Eliminating
Page 9 and 10: How To Accurately Read Lies Comfort
Page 11 and 12: Head down with hand to mouth is a
Page 13 and 14: publish it through the www.BodyLang
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Page 17 and 18: Itchy nose or does this mean someth
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Page 21 and 22: people’s natural desires to pleas
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Page 29 and 30: pulled across the mouth, but the mu
Page 31 and 32: after years apart, or when someone
Page 33 and 34: these class of neurons might be rel
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Page 39 and 40: Subconscious facial expressions can
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Page 51 and 52: We regularly place more importance
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Page 55 and 56: on the spot, and in real time. Chap
Page 57: idiosyncrasy. Does this mean that e
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Page 63 and 64: than simple observation. While Wats
Page 65 and 66: Millions of years ago, we gave up q
Page 67 and 68: fact there is a class of body langu
Page 69 and 70: speak, by observation and practice.
Page 71 and 72: Body language makes the intent of a
Page 73 and 74: We rarely catch women checking men
Page 83 and 84: Asymmetrical posture shows a lack o
Page 85 and 86: 4. Keep your midsection tight to as
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Page 89 and 90: that create relief. Someone that is
Page 91 and 92: exercise except in this case the en
Page 93 and 94: especially as the evening progresse
Page 95 and 96: when people suffer from illness per
Page 97 and 98: Much debate has been raised about t
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Page 103 and 104: This “a-okay” gesture means goo
Page 105 and 106: Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Il
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Re
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Ad
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characteristics. It is general in n
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of the speech during conversation.
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Cu
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Disgust.
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into facial emotion recognition and
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ecome more uniform, so too does the
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The handshake is quickly becoming t
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Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Int
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Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Pro
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An arm is extended to indicate that
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Personal Space Distances 1. Intimat
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wave of the hand in the country is
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This is a comfortable body ready fo
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Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Spa
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e it to respect it by reading their
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overtly show that they are being in
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its hidden meaning. Chapter 5 - See
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Chapter 5 - Seeing Eye To Eye - A L
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stance causing them to drop their a
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pocket money, looking for someone t
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females. The men in the study were
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preparation for action so we won’
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A second related nonverbal behavior
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flash it lasts on average for only
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This interest posture is hard to mi
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a good solid attempt should be made
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their thoughts. For most right-hand
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6) Kinesthetic Remembered (Tactile
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words), kinesthetic (touch) and vis
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meeting, so as to either, remedy th
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negative cue done to avoid harmful
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Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter The
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The uneven smile. This one is a fak
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Liars also find it difficult to smi
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Research on smiles has been a hot t
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Chimpanzees, like humans have two c
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our faces a break. We know instinct
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“Wipe that grin off your face”.
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egardless of their emotional state.
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is why it is important to surround
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Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter Is
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fun of a sprinter for being slow, i
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Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter Sum
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determine the thoughts, feelings an
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obstruction from any limbs or objec
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His ventral display says that he’
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Chapter 7 - Opened Mind Opened Body
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Wrists displays shows comfort. I th
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Pockets make great hand-hiding plac
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parties hands might graduate away.
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something. Rubbing the hands togeth
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The “politicians gesture” comes
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The “offerer” wants to give you
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Any time a part of the body crosses
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An abbreviated arm cross where the
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The coffee cup barrier - even drink
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Cutting off ventral access is a clo
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Good things are not on the horizon.
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up it would be worthwhile to contin
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The legs therefore, are a great ind
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Women with legs open are often seen
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their legs as a dominance display a
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seated or standing. While seated th
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palm down, as if to dry them, and y
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disagreement at every turn. The fig
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posture occurs by placing one or bo
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we are already committed, our feet
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_______ Feet together - attentive.
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If one person fails to open up, usu
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In this chapter we will cover an en
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There are cues that can eliminate,
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includes submissive gestures so som
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een noted that taller men are signi
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This cop knows his game. By keeping
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Chapter 8 - Dominant and Submissive
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verbal language. Let’s take anoth
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at all since all you stand to lose
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we saw before, the figure-four-leg
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might foster mirroring where they m
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the body take up more space and hen
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very pronounced compared to many ot
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downwards towards the crotch. Popul
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A challenge to fight - the chin pop
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superiority and royalty has made th
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space, leaning on their cars, putti
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onds. Dominant people figure that w
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Further research shows that justifi
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oth be made more healthy just by sh
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can link them in our minds, yet kee
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Hugging one’s self is a defensive
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elbow in the hand while that arm is
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Arm gripping is a sign that someone
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eadiness to attack. It can also be
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A purse can be used as a shield to
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higher than a few inches, or the ha
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The chair is a prop used to shield
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conditions, so we might benefit fro
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Chapter 9 -Defensive And Aggressive
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Fists clenching is an early sign of
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Nose flaring or “nasal wing dilat
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This isn’t going well - she looks
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Chapter 10 - Attentive And Evaluati
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A slouched appearance is a clear me
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cartoons. The cliché says that the
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is disliked. However, there is anot
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the glasses signifies deep thought.
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form a bridge. In this posture fing
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interlocked hands as if praying but
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one’s self back” as one might d
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Pinching the bridge of the nose. Ch
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emotions we talk about what motivat
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Burying yourself in a book or liste
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smoothing clothing, rotating a wedd
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The fight or flight response is a b
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Chapter 11 - Emotional Body Languag
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Extreme anxiety causes the desire t
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Clenching and gripping can have man
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A hand-to-mouth gesture used to pla
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Tugging at the ears helps distract
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is also in effort to self sooth. Wi
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indicate confrontation due to anger
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as the fingers stroke the inside of
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need to mouth it, and yet it, so as
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When the mouth becomes inverted in
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Pushing the tongue through compress
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Sneering often happens as a microex
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The ear grab refers to a subconscio
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Itchy nose or does this mean someth
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aggressive with their gestures and
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These legs are interested - note ho
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where the toe is facing down, but t
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useful skill in reading people. Bei
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Happiness. Happiness (smile): The g
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__________ Ever thought about why o
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would identify the policemen as par
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mimicry of postures, mannerisms, fa
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[D] Keeping the legs uncrossed. [E]
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an imagined negotiation scenario wh
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loose situation where one person wi
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dialect, speech rate or tempo, pitc
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Chapter 12 - Mirroring And Building
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undetected lest it cause irreversib
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although it can be helpful to women
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Some men are naturals - the rest of
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‘Accidental touching’ is a subt
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals The
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals She
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The “hands on hips” or hands
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Tibi
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The Forehead Bow, Smiling And Child
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Tickling and other play related act
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Shoulder shrugs make the outline of
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parts aren’t inherently sexy on t
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Hair tossing is done by women to sh
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also tend to carry low hip-to-waist
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Groo
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals The
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Hiki
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correlate it back to their fertilit
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good signal of attraction. Sometime
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Echo
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Kiss
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dropper here and there with regards
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If this sort of tactic makes you un
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Women prefer men with square jaws a
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features and “dance” for them.
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There are a few postures that men u
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effectively to attract his attentio
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Domi
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the same position for too long. Rat
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Tona
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Even stone faced women can be broke
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the mating dance, men can see these
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Hand touches shoulder. This form of
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Summ
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customer and should be respected. T
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expect it. Anyone lower in the food
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they are doing when they shake hand
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normal. Three pumps is recommended
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language H
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language L
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language H
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language W
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language R
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sit because, and what affect seatin
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Boardrooms present an interesting p
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements C
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are already a part of your team and
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ooks, papers and other belongings t
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements S
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements S
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements C
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was the trickle down effect where t
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements O
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A low rank desk arrangement because
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alance between looking out the wind
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He’s already a bit taller than me
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eceiving a D or F from twenty-three
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Touching the nose has long been use
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question “Does this dress make me
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Chapter 16 - Deception and Lie Dete
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while lying was taking place. For e
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create facts instead of simply reca
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One of the most reported cues of de
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To avoid detection, under the ‘fr
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catcher braced and ducked with his
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ecognition software that reads all
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__________ False smile: Where the e
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Such devices are new and their effe
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denial statements such as nodding
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level of guilt. 4. If possible have
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info. This is public info after the
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Evolution and Human Behavior. 27(1)
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Communication Research. 13 (3): 345
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21(4): 1-10. Frank M.G. and Ekman P
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Hecht, M.A. and LaFrance, M. 1988.
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Knackstedt, G., & Kleinke, C. L. (1
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exploring the accuracy of visitor a
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Peluchette, J. V., K. Karl, and K.
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Sommer, R. 1967. Socifugal space. A
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nonverbal behavior. 21: 87-102. Vri
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