The Ultimate Body Language Book

sit because, and what affect seating has on the outcome.
In this chapter we will cover seating arrangements and their effect. We will learn that how we sit
indicates our reason for meeting, how rectangular tables and circular tables have trickle down
leadership effects, how square tables can set up cooperation or confrontation, how leaders always
choose to sit at the head of the table or will lose their status to he who does, and how we can change
minds by boxing in our “object” with the right associates. Next we cover how offices should be set up,
how artifacts aren’t just for decoration and how high-chairs aren’t for babies. We then learn about
where to sit in an auditorium to be completely forgotten and where the keeners sit in class.
Chapter 15 – Seating Arrangements
How We Know Why We Meet
It should be immediately obvious what the true purpose is for meeting based on the type of seating
provided. A formal setting that is boardroom-like with status icons means that serious business is at
hand, whereas a couch with a coffee table signifies much less urgent matters. When we meet formally,
relationship building is not the aim, more casual meetings build relationships, so we should either plan
or act accordingly. If the boss calls the meeting, we should know what is up before we even get there so
we know what to expect.
Seating arrangements are a big part in how the meeting will transpire. For example, facing one another
means that ideas are divisive and that party’s are probably unwilling to change, or if desired we can
even foster more competition by artificially creating this arrangement. Perhaps not useful under the
average circumstance, but effective non-the-less for lawyers who wish to milk clients dry by stretching
out legal disputes! Sitting at forty-five degrees and on the same side means that ideas are informal and
group minded where cooperation is sought. Smaller tables create more intimacy and group building,
whereas larger tables emphasis more independence and creativity. More of this is covered in the
chapter on seating arrangements. For now let’s focus on possible hidden agendas with respect to how
we sit.
There are three basic reasons for meeting, they are ‘affiliation’ to build group cohesion, ‘achievement’
to get things done, and ‘power’ to emphasis control. Who calls the meeting and who is in charge will
depend on how the meeting will be organized. To go along with the three types of meetings, there are
three types of people in business. They are the ‘affiliator’ the ‘achiever’ and the ‘power player’. The
affiliator is interested in building relationships, they arrive early and make a point of checking in with
everyone and making sure everyone is happy and taken care of. They smile often and make eye contact
frequently. They will set up meetings to foster cooperation and will often stay behind to answer any
questions. The achiever will arrive on time and won’t want to waste a minute. If he talks before the
meeting it will be because it was important and he’ll sit closest the person with the highest rank. They
often show up well prepared with note pad, fact sheets, and so forth. They keep time, don’t stray off
topic and leave as soon as the meeting is over. The final type, the power player is someone that arrive
slightly late, spends most of his time with other leaders, and will try to sit where he can influence the
most people possible. This person will also interrupt others more often, and they will stay right until
everyone has left so as not to miss something, or miss out on important decisions.
Paying attention to who is running the meetings will tell us the goals of the meetings since not
everyone is upfront about their purpose. Each meeting should begin by assessing where they sit, and
why, as well as the types of personalities they have. As leaders, we can also manipulate the strengths of
those around us for our own success. For example, you can use the affiliator initially and at the end to