The Ultimate Body Language Book

and found that there are three main handshake orientations; palm down (superiority), palm up
(submissive) and palm even (equality) and also the ways to deal with them. We summarized a good
handshake as having just the right pressure and duration but that it should vary depending on whom
you are shaking hands with. We learned that firm handshakes versus “limp” handshakes can equalize
women and men in the workplace and supported this with research that tied firm handshakes to
extroversion and emotional expressiveness rather than shyness and neuroticism. We then covered the
various handshakes one might encounter and provided visually accurate names for them. They were the
death grip, the cold dead wet fish, the limp fish, short grabber/finger grabber, stiff arm and trust
forward, wrench forward controller, arm twister, over pumper, double gripper politician, the teacup, the
undershaker and the oddball.
We then explained how to thwart dominant handshakes particularly the palm down presentation with
the step to the right technique, as well as the various other techniques to send particular messages based
on your particular handshake partner and intention. We gave women a sequence by which to follow to
impress men in the workplace by keeping the hand perfectly vertical, thrusting forward and aiming to
meet web to web, the skin between index and thumb. We then gave women some advice to maintain
sexuality without appearing unintelligent, one of which included the heels to neutralize prey, the others
included avoiding the figure four sitting position and the full body steeple. We also found that women
should appear masculine in their attire, yet retain curves, but not cleavage.
Next we covered readiness and attentiveness body language which includes the sprinting positions or
leaning forward to show interest, or by coiling the legs to show eagerness to leave, whereas leaning
back shows either comfort of disinterest. We followed this up with tips to become a leader and saw why
it is important to show better posture, take up more space, hold a serious gaze with eye contact, use
appropriate and tactful touching, avoid too much smiling (especially women), avoid excessive
placation and fight the urge to nod with agreement especially if someone expresses a thought you
disagree with. For those of us who are happy to follow, we provided tips in dealing with the three
different types of bosses, the autocratic, democratic and laissez-faire, then covered ways to impress on
a job interview, and concluded with buy signals; eye contact, moving in, touching the chin and greater
relaxation.
Chapter 15 – Seating Arrangements
Introduction – Chapter 15
Where we sit at a table or how we arrange our guests can influence the ability to form bonds and share
information. Sometimes arriving to a table early helps, other times we end up at a disadvantage because
those we wish to communicate with most end up sitting in locations that make them less accessible.
Arriving midway through represents the best case scenario, but if you aren’t aware of the propensity to
which people speak to one another, this will give you no advantage at all since you won’t know where
to sit.
The most powerful people will almost always prefer to sit facing the entry because it allows them to see
first hand who is entering and prevents them from sneaking up from behind. Likewise, we find that
sitting on the inside at a restaurant allows us the best vantage because it puts everyone else in front of
us and inhibits interruptions from those passing in isles. In this chapter we will learn that it’s best to
avoid sitting side by side if possible, especially when trying to form a good impression or when trying
to assess someone. Reading people is best done face-to-face but this raises a competitive head to head
arrangement, as we shall see. We will also learn that our reasons for meeting will tell us how we should