The Ultimate Body Language Book

has “no bones.” It can be so ineffective it is as though one is shaking the hand of a five-year-old and
usually comes from people who are ill at ease with shaking hands and touching in general. The limp
fish handshake comes from people who submit the handshake ritual but who find the handshake as a
violation of their personal space. The credibility of this handshake is very low and makes people think
that you are shy or timid, lack masculinity and interest, confidence, leadership or have poor people
skills. You are far less likely to gain employment for positions requiring dominant traits such as
management. Men also might resort to the limp fish when shaking hands with women, but this is a
mistake. Today, women expect the same treatment that men do, so give them the respect they deserve
and don’t let up, give a good firm handshake. When shaking hands always try to match grip pressure to
the other person unless of course they have a weak handshake. If that’s the case, apply slightly more
pressure, there is no need to overdue it. If you really wish to send a submissive handshake you can do
so by letting up slightly, but be careful not to seem like a push-over.
Short grabber/finger grabber 4: Someone that grabs your fingers rather than your entire hand is trying
to keep you at your distance and also put you in your place. Short grabbers are usually insecure but
often try to hide this by coming off as dominant. If they add a crushing action in addition to the finger
tip grab they are trying to send and even stronger message by displaying their physical power over you.
Crushing is used to put a bit of fear into their partners so as to dismiss the likelihood of any future
challenge against them. If by chance you accidentally grab the fingers of someone else which can
happen when men shake hands with women, you can vocally suggest doing the handshake over again.
A simple “sorry, that didn’t quite work, let’s give it another go” will suffice. This will show that you are
concerned about starting off on the right foot to properly set the tone for the relationship.
Stiff arm and thrust forward 5: The stiff arm thrust forward happens when someone grabs your hand
then pushes you backwards putting you off balance. It’s a common occurrence for those trying to
maintain their distance. Take for example a city slicker and a country farmer who meet for the first
time. The farmer might accept the handshake even though a wave would be more appropriate for their
comfort and to keep his space will push his arm forward shoving the city slicker back. This sort of
handshake can happen anytime a person requires more space than their partner and this isn’t always
people from the country.
Wrench forward 6: Unlike the thrust forward, the wrench forward handshaker will pull people into their
personal space. This is done by people who require less personal space. It happens during a normal
handshake except that a person pulls sharply toward them forcing you off balance and moving you into
their personal space. People who shakes hands in this way are trying to control the other person by
moving them into their personal space against their will. They feel that they can influence them more
efficiently by making them uncomfortable. They are also setting the other person off balance making
them unable to properly respond. Another variation exists too where someone might pull you forward
toward a chair, or move you to one side of the room as they desire. Someone that shakes hands like this
is trying to set the tone for the relationship by controlling where you move next. Obviously, this is a
sign that they want to dominate you.
Arm twister 7: The arm twister happens like any other normal handshake except that part way through
the hand is twisted underneath into the submissive palm up position. Someone who does this is
absolutely committed to being on top. Sometimes a dominant handshaker will also offer their palm
facing upwards almost vertically making it nearly impossible to gain the upper hand position. An arm
twister is someone that wants to dominate the relationship from the start, so your tactics should be
adjusted accordingly. In future encounters, attempts should be made to rotate the palm back to an even,
vertical position.
Over pumper 8: This guy thinks handshakes are like pulling water from a well. Your arm is not only
vigorously pumped up and down and with force, but it’s done more than what anyone would call