The Ultimate Body Language Book

We regularly place more importance on what words are used rather than how others gestures in their
delivery, but this is a mistake. When we don’t have congruency and the verbal language doesn’t match
the nonverbal gestures we should always place more importance on the nonverbal channel. Credence
should almost always be given to nonverbal language over spoken words since the research tells us that
it is often more accurate. When people plan lies they often rehearse the sentences and in what sequence
they will deliver them, but they often ignore or disregard gestures that will accompany them. While we
monitor our spoken words, our unconsciousness can leak unwanted information through our bodies.
However, even if people were consciously aware that their body language gave them away, they would
not know what to do since most people are completely unaware of the meaning their body conveys.
Politicians can leak information through congruency and this can give them away, although most
politicians today are quite learned in body language. We should be suspicious of politicians, however,
when they have their arms tightly folded against their chest while saying that they are open to change
or to a door-to-door salesman that swears his life on a product but wipes downward with his hand as if
to clear the lie. Another example is the cheating husband who tries to pass off a late meeting and then
pulls at his neck tie, collar or scratch his neck indicating stress.
Sometimes however, knowledge about body language just comes off as less expressiveness. The body
language thus tends to be much more controlled and subdued because it’s much easier to eliminate
body language altogether then it is to add honest body language. However, even reduced
expressiveness helps us read people because a relaxed and natural politician is more likely to be telling
the truth. Therefore, even reserved body language can be a ‘tell’ to those who are in tune. Congruency
therefore, is very important because it is a clear comparison between two communication channels, the
verbal and nonverbal. When words are mismatched against the body language, we can be sure
something dishonest is at play and these hints should instigate us, at minimum, to pay closer attention.