The Ultimate Body Language Book

Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals
Tonality Advice For Men
Communication patterns are often a make-it or break-it moment.
As we have seen in a pervious chapter, tonality plays a big part in the meaning and intent of the
message being delivered. Speaking in a soft voice can be construed as nervous, especially if words are
so quiet they are misheard. When in groups containing new people, it is very common to speak quietly
to direct your conversation to specific people you are more familiar with, however this can and will
alienate others and serve to isolate you further. While in a group, therefore, don’t be afraid to address
everyone and save private conversations for later. Whispering, which is an entirely different ballgame
can actually bring women closer and create sparks, so is fair technique to explore. As tonality pertains
to dating and attraction, it is important to hold a strong voice and use projection to carry it to your
audience. Speaking too loudly can come across as forceful and arrogant though, so try to balance your
speech to your location and audience, as well as the surrounding noise.
As mentioned earlier, women find men with voices that are deep sexy and it is possible to lower the
breadth of your voice with practice. Even keeping it monotone will make it seem deeper and sexier,
although a lack of enthusiasm will likely out-weight the benefits. Calming and slowing the voice can
also deepen it and these techniques can be perfected when practiced. Naturally each one of the
techniques for voice lowering can appear forced and awkward, and in most cases, the voice can only be
lowered by a few degrees, but this might be all that is required to bring a high pitched voice down to an
acceptable medium.
Another aspect of voice is projection. In nightclubs where talking is often difficult at best, you might
consider extending the length of words and phrases, so they are better heard. Men should never pass up
an opportunity for closeness, and as mentioned, whispering is a great tool to accomplish this. A “hey,
let’s get out of here, it’s too loud to talk” makes for a good exit strategy once a connection is formed.
Regardless of the situation, a well projected voice communicates strength and confidence.
Men should also be mindful of nervous laughing and long bouts of monotone speech, which can be a