The Ultimate Body Language Book

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Chapter 2 – The Basics Of Understanding Body Language The Rule Of Four Are there enough cues to justify a conclusion in this case? The rule of four, and it’s an important one, says that you can’t attach meaning to a single gesture and
accurately judge a person. The rule of four calls on us to read cues alongside other cues commonly referred to as “cue clusters” before drawing conclusions. The more cues that appear in association with other cues, the more accurate one can be about the underlying meaning. It isn’t impossible to see cue clusters in the six’s and sevens or higher. However, most agree that four independent signals is enough to positively identify true meaning. Sitting with arms tightly pressed against the chest can mean that a person is uncomfortable, but it can also mean that a person is cold! Scratching the nose or face can mean that a person is lying or it could actually have an obvious purpose; to alleviate an itch! However, touching the nose, wiping the mouth in a down-stroke, avoiding eye contact and fidgeting tells us that something dishonest is probably going on. Another example of a cue cluster is as follows: crossing the legs by bringing one foot over the opposite leg (the figure-four leg cross), fingers interlinked together (steepling), leaning back in the chair, and tilting the head back and looking down through the nose at others. This cluster shows arrogance and superiority. However, just the figure four, which is a mild crotch display on its own, means very little. The figure-four-leg-cross only tells us that the crotch has been put on display, but does not necessarily attach meaning to the gesture and indicate arrogance. To some, this posture might not even mean that, it just may be a comfortable way for them to sit. In all cases, gestures are just gestures and nothing more. It is our targets, the creators, who, knowingly or accidentally, attach meaning or emotions to gestures; it is the senders who are in charge of the delivery phase, and we, as readers, who are in charge of the deciphering phase of the transaction. In other words, it is the sender who is responsible for the message and the meaning entirely, the reader is a passive entity that should never project meaning, especially from that which is not present. That’s not to say that a reader would try to create emotions inaccurately, as this would be counterproductive, but rather that it would be a mistake to bring a gestures to the consciousness of a target and then try to persuade them that their intentions are different from that which is actually true. In many cases, however, you may find that targets won’t be aware of their true emotions anyway and will generally be uncomfortable to be made aware of their subconscious gestures, so reads are best kept to one’s self. Just like you wouldn’t show your cards in poker game, you shouldn’t actively show off your body language skills. Reads, and the skills in this book, are much more powerful if kept a secret. Not all body movement has hidden meaning either. Sometimes our bodies are quiet and do no talking at all. It is normal for novice readers of body language to immediately begin to see body language cues creep into consciousness, but it’s a mistake to assume that all gestures suddenly have hidden meaning and get carried away with reckless diagnosis. Let’s take another cue cluster: arms crossed tightly over the chest, legs crossed, head down and shoulders pulled inward. Our conclusion here is that our target is uncomfortable and is closing off the outside world. As signals are removed from this cluster we can be less certain of their emotional origins. Legs crossed with head down can mean just about anything, but even if we add in shoulders pulled inward, it does not provide solid evidence of anything underlying. What we really need here is the fourth, the arms pulled in tight against the body, to really give us enough information to justify a conclusion. The other cues by themselves are closed body postures, but they can be due to other factors. Leg crossing can sometimes even demonstrate interest, as is the case when they are crossed toward a girlfriend or boyfriend (rather then away) for example. The rule-of-four says that we need a “preponderance of evidence”, a term borrowed from the civil judiciary system. We have preponderance of evidence, not when we have achieved absolute unquestionable or irrefutable data, but instead, happens when we have superior weight in our favour and in this case, four independent cues is plenty of weight. This doesn’t mean that it’s impossible, or that we shouldn’t read people who only exhibit one or two cues. Reason being that the damage that might occur from an inaccurate read is likely very small so
Page 1 and 2: Chapter 1 - Why The Study Of Body L
Page 3 and 4: Looking Askance And Eye Rolling Ste
Page 5 and 6: The Stiff Or Curved Arm Objects As
Page 7 and 8: The Male Crotch Display Eliminating
Page 9 and 10: How To Accurately Read Lies Comfort
Page 11 and 12: Head down with hand to mouth is a
Page 13 and 14: publish it through the www.BodyLang
Page 17 and 18: Itchy nose or does this mean someth
Page 19 and 20: and then relate the body language s
Page 21 and 22: people’s natural desires to pleas
Page 25 and 26: mind and create positive or negativ
Page 27 and 28: to the world around us, and the sti
Page 29 and 30: pulled across the mouth, but the mu
Page 31 and 32: after years apart, or when someone
Page 33 and 34: these class of neurons might be rel
Page 37 and 38: keep the conversation going. They
Page 39 and 40: Subconscious facial expressions can
Page 43 and 44: arricades to block ourselves from v
Page 45: Chapter 2 - The Basics Of Understan
Page 49 and 50: Chapter 2 - The Basics Of Understan
Page 51 and 52: We regularly place more importance
Page 53 and 54: statements that are taken out of co
Page 55 and 56: on the spot, and in real time. Chap
Page 57 and 58: idiosyncrasy. Does this mean that e
Page 59 and 60: to be compare to a baseline as they
Page 61 and 62: such as postures and signals or in
Page 63 and 64: than simple observation. While Wats
Page 65 and 66: Millions of years ago, we gave up q
Page 67 and 68: fact there is a class of body langu
Page 69 and 70: speak, by observation and practice.
Page 71 and 72: Body language makes the intent of a
Page 73 and 74: We rarely catch women checking men
Page 83 and 84: Asymmetrical posture shows a lack o
Page 85 and 86: 4. Keep your midsection tight to as
Page 87 and 88: kissing, back slapping, high fives,
Page 89 and 90: that create relief. Someone that is
Page 91 and 92: exercise except in this case the en
Page 93 and 94: especially as the evening progresse
Page 95 and 96: when people suffer from illness per
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Much debate has been raised about t
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present, the Japanese more than the
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Em
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This “a-okay” gesture means goo
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Il
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Af
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Re
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Ad
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characteristics. It is general in n
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of the speech during conversation.
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Cu
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Disgust.
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into facial emotion recognition and
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ecome more uniform, so too does the
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The handshake is quickly becoming t
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Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Int
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Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Pro
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An arm is extended to indicate that
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Personal Space Distances 1. Intimat
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wave of the hand in the country is
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This is a comfortable body ready fo
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Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Spa
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e it to respect it by reading their
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overtly show that they are being in
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its hidden meaning. Chapter 5 - See
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Chapter 5 - Seeing Eye To Eye - A L
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stance causing them to drop their a
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pocket money, looking for someone t
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females. The men in the study were
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preparation for action so we won’
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A second related nonverbal behavior
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flash it lasts on average for only
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This interest posture is hard to mi
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a good solid attempt should be made
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their thoughts. For most right-hand
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6) Kinesthetic Remembered (Tactile
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words), kinesthetic (touch) and vis
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meeting, so as to either, remedy th
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negative cue done to avoid harmful
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Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter The
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The uneven smile. This one is a fak
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Liars also find it difficult to smi
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Research on smiles has been a hot t
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Chimpanzees, like humans have two c
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our faces a break. We know instinct
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“Wipe that grin off your face”.
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egardless of their emotional state.
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is why it is important to surround
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Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter Is
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fun of a sprinter for being slow, i
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Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter Sum
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determine the thoughts, feelings an
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obstruction from any limbs or objec
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His ventral display says that he’
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Chapter 7 - Opened Mind Opened Body
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Wrists displays shows comfort. I th
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Pockets make great hand-hiding plac
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parties hands might graduate away.
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something. Rubbing the hands togeth
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The “politicians gesture” comes
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The “offerer” wants to give you
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Any time a part of the body crosses
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An abbreviated arm cross where the
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The coffee cup barrier - even drink
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Cutting off ventral access is a clo
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Good things are not on the horizon.
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up it would be worthwhile to contin
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The legs therefore, are a great ind
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Women with legs open are often seen
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their legs as a dominance display a
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seated or standing. While seated th
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palm down, as if to dry them, and y
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disagreement at every turn. The fig
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posture occurs by placing one or bo
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we are already committed, our feet
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_______ Feet together - attentive.
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If one person fails to open up, usu
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In this chapter we will cover an en
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There are cues that can eliminate,
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includes submissive gestures so som
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een noted that taller men are signi
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This cop knows his game. By keeping
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Chapter 8 - Dominant and Submissive
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verbal language. Let’s take anoth
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at all since all you stand to lose
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we saw before, the figure-four-leg
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might foster mirroring where they m
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the body take up more space and hen
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very pronounced compared to many ot
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downwards towards the crotch. Popul
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A challenge to fight - the chin pop
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superiority and royalty has made th
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space, leaning on their cars, putti
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onds. Dominant people figure that w
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Further research shows that justifi
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oth be made more healthy just by sh
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can link them in our minds, yet kee
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Hugging one’s self is a defensive
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elbow in the hand while that arm is
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Arm gripping is a sign that someone
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eadiness to attack. It can also be
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A purse can be used as a shield to
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higher than a few inches, or the ha
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The chair is a prop used to shield
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conditions, so we might benefit fro
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Chapter 9 -Defensive And Aggressive
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Fists clenching is an early sign of
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Nose flaring or “nasal wing dilat
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This isn’t going well - she looks
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Chapter 10 - Attentive And Evaluati
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A slouched appearance is a clear me
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cartoons. The cliché says that the
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is disliked. However, there is anot
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the glasses signifies deep thought.
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form a bridge. In this posture fing
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interlocked hands as if praying but
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one’s self back” as one might d
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Pinching the bridge of the nose. Ch
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emotions we talk about what motivat
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Burying yourself in a book or liste
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smoothing clothing, rotating a wedd
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The fight or flight response is a b
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Chapter 11 - Emotional Body Languag
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Extreme anxiety causes the desire t
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Clenching and gripping can have man
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A hand-to-mouth gesture used to pla
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Tugging at the ears helps distract
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is also in effort to self sooth. Wi
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indicate confrontation due to anger
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as the fingers stroke the inside of
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need to mouth it, and yet it, so as
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When the mouth becomes inverted in
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Pushing the tongue through compress
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Sneering often happens as a microex
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The ear grab refers to a subconscio
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Itchy nose or does this mean someth
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aggressive with their gestures and
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These legs are interested - note ho
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where the toe is facing down, but t
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useful skill in reading people. Bei
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Happiness. Happiness (smile): The g
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__________ Ever thought about why o
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would identify the policemen as par
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mimicry of postures, mannerisms, fa
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[D] Keeping the legs uncrossed. [E]
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an imagined negotiation scenario wh
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loose situation where one person wi
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dialect, speech rate or tempo, pitc
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Chapter 12 - Mirroring And Building
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undetected lest it cause irreversib
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although it can be helpful to women
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Some men are naturals - the rest of
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‘Accidental touching’ is a subt
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals The
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals She
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The “hands on hips” or hands
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Tibi
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The Forehead Bow, Smiling And Child
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Tickling and other play related act
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Shoulder shrugs make the outline of
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parts aren’t inherently sexy on t
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Hair tossing is done by women to sh
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also tend to carry low hip-to-waist
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Groo
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals The
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Hiki
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correlate it back to their fertilit
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good signal of attraction. Sometime
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Echo
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Kiss
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dropper here and there with regards
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If this sort of tactic makes you un
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Women prefer men with square jaws a
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features and “dance” for them.
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There are a few postures that men u
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effectively to attract his attentio
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Domi
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the same position for too long. Rat
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Tona
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Even stone faced women can be broke
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the mating dance, men can see these
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Hand touches shoulder. This form of
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Summ
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customer and should be respected. T
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expect it. Anyone lower in the food
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they are doing when they shake hand
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normal. Three pumps is recommended
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language H
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language L
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language H
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language W
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language R
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sit because, and what affect seatin
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Boardrooms present an interesting p
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements C
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are already a part of your team and
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ooks, papers and other belongings t
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements S
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements S
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements C
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was the trickle down effect where t
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements O
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A low rank desk arrangement because
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alance between looking out the wind
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He’s already a bit taller than me
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eceiving a D or F from twenty-three
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Touching the nose has long been use
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question “Does this dress make me
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Chapter 16 - Deception and Lie Dete
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while lying was taking place. For e
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create facts instead of simply reca
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One of the most reported cues of de
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To avoid detection, under the ‘fr
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catcher braced and ducked with his
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ecognition software that reads all
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__________ False smile: Where the e
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Such devices are new and their effe
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denial statements such as nodding
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level of guilt. 4. If possible have
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info. This is public info after the
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Evolution and Human Behavior. 27(1)
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Communication Research. 13 (3): 345
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21(4): 1-10. Frank M.G. and Ekman P
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Hecht, M.A. and LaFrance, M. 1988.
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Knackstedt, G., & Kleinke, C. L. (1
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exploring the accuracy of visitor a
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Peluchette, J. V., K. Karl, and K.
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Sommer, R. 1967. Socifugal space. A
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nonverbal behavior. 21: 87-102. Vri
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