The Ultimate Body Language Book

undetected lest it cause irreversible damage or negative thoughts. Echoing was compared to mirroring,
with one key difference. That is, we found that echoing happens when similar postures were taken up,
but only after some time had elapsed, rather than immediately as in mirroring. Echoing was therefore
described as a more subtle way to build rapport. We found that mirroring can help find common ground
during negotiations by creating cooperation and empathy instead of deception.
We also talked about what issues can arise to inhibit mirroring which includes resistance from inward
looking people who define themselves by whom they are rather than their associations with others, self
monitors who tend to obey their own internal regulators instead of modifying themselves by
environment, and the final reason was outlined as outright disagreement. We discussed how mirroring
can be matched to create perfect flow through changing dialect, speech rate or tempo, pitch, tonality,
voice inflection, use of words and even accent and is called “communication accommodation theory.”
We defined perfect speech patterns as “pacing” where information flows uninterrupted and in rhythm.
Next we solved the puzzle as to why our pets look like our kids and couples look like each other, how
our bosses and superiors call the shots and we should only sometimes mirror them, and how women
mirror more than men overall.
Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals
Introduction – Chapter 13
He could learn a thing or two from this chapter.
In dating, men are the initiators, or aggressors, right? Wrong! In fact, the vast majority of the time
women are the ones to give off signals first which cue men to approach rather than the other way
around, and men usually don’t approach unless they perceive some form of attraction. I suppose the
problem as women see it, is that the signals they give off are often under subconscious control so they
never realize they are actually compelling men to approach them. This is what makes this chapter so
important for both men and women who are newly entering, still playing, or even those who are reentering
the dating game. It will help men identify sexual cues from the cues we’ve seen so far which