The Ultimate Body Language Book

an imagined negotiation scenario where instructed to subtly mirror the actions of the other. It was found
that mirroring helped them secure a better outcome and allowed them to perform better as a whole than
negotiators who were instructed to focus more on their own strategy and where no mention of
mirroring was given. The subjects that mirrored in this experiment created more value for themselves
under the parameter of the study and that benefit did not come at the expense of their opponents. The
study suggests that mirroring creates more information sharing which lead to a greater ability to bend
on concessions and hence formulate more positive outcomes for each party.
In their second study, they used two groups once again. One was instructed to mirror and the other was
instructed to use their own strategy. In this case however, the subjects either acted as a buyer or seller
and they were negotiating the purchase of a gas station. In the scenario, which was cleverly devised,
there was no overlap in the price with which the seller was willing to accept and of which the buyer
was willing to pay, making the negotiation more than about price alone. Some key outside factors that
played into the negotiation was that the seller was keen to leave quickly to travel caused by burnout
from running the gas station, but that upon his return he would require employment from the purchaser
to recover some of his expenses. This was compatible with the interests of the buyer who wanted to
hire managers to run the station in the future. The deal hinged upon the desire of the seller to divulge
this information and to what degree, if any, either party would drop or raise their closing price. Not
surprisingly, ten of fifteen groups where buyers were instructed to mirror led to an acceptable deal,
whereas only two of sixteen reached a deal where the buyer did not. They also cross referenced the
level of mirroring with deal success and found that as mirroring increased, so too did deal making. As a
positive side effect, trust also increased with mirroring.
It’s obvious from these studies that mirroring can have a profound positive effect on negotiations. They
can open the channels of communication and release valuable information between parties resulting in
creation of value, deal making and trust. When no mirroring happens, deal making suffers, but when
mirroring happens both parties stand to benefit.
Chapter 12 - Mirroring And Building Of Rapport
What Stops Mirroring?
Because mirroring is so efficient and useful to us, it should naturally happen across all people in equal
proportions and remain consistent across time, but this is far from true. While differences in
connectivity happen between various groups of people or cliques, we also feel more connectivity to
certain individuals within a group. Therefore, mirroring will have various strengths across various
pairings. Over time our goals and needs change too, and so too do our opinions and ideals. So as we
develop, our relationships to people also change. The level of rapport we feel with another person
affects the level of mirroring, and a lack of liking can even stop mirroring dead. There are many factors
that affect mirroring or lack thereof such as inward versus outward looking people, high versus low self
monitors, and the goals desired. If mirroring should suddenly turn cold or fail to start at all, we should
be aware of possible explanation just in case it is something we can control or fix.
Inward looking people are those that define themselves specifically by virtues or characteristics
attributed directly to them. Inward looking people call themselves intelligent, tall or friendly. Outward
looking people, on the other hand, create their identity by their social role, the groups they belong to,
their friends and relationships. Someone who sees themselves outwardly will say they are a daughter, a
mother of a son, an aunt and the coach of a soccer team. Outward looking people will also be more
likely to affiliate with others, and will therefore tend to partake much more in mirroring. Inward