The Ultimate Body Language Book

Knowing about downtime can be used to our advantage so as to give people enough time to take in the
new information presented rather than overwhelming them, confusing them and possibly putting them
off for good. The simplest way to do this is to watch for downtime cues and then pause or slow speech
accordingly. This will give the listener enough time to look away momentarily and process the
information. Once we learn about someone, and their character, it will be easy to find their cues to
downtime and therefore proceed at a reasonable pace for them specifically.
A second type of downtime is more extended, and happens in the absence of other people. The purpose
of this downtime is to escape daily stress and pressure, and to help us recover. The need for downtime
is obvious. We become stressed or over-stimulated, our thought process becomes hazy and we can’t
think straight. Our faces will also become blank and expressionless, and our eyes will glaze over and be
unmoving. Other times we feel under-stimulated and detached from what is going on around us, and
feel that we need to get away to re-connect. During this period we begin to withdraw by avoiding eye
contact, dropping our heads and shoulders, and switching off our ears. We may zone out in such a
significant way that we have trouble even feeling someone if they happen to brush up against us. When
downtime like this happens around other people we’re asked to ‘snap out of it’ only to reply with
“Sorry, I was zoned out” or “I must have spaced out.” The most respectful thing to do when you notice
someone in this state, is to leave them be, instead of interrupting them. Remember that they slipped into
downtime for good reason, it’s not just to ignore you! In fact, as we saw, it has much less to do with
negative reasons, than personal constructive ones. Downtime serves to relax the minds and set it back
onto the right course before getting back to business.
Chapter 11 - Emotional Body Language
Cocooning
There are two forms of cocooning, one is mild, the other extreme. Cocooning is a terms used to
describe the body language which shows others that we wish not to be bothered. I outlined a method
previously that my wife employs while out shopping where she wears a set of headphones to tell others
she isn’t interested in socializing. Another form of cocooning happens while in deep concentration,
while studying for example, or while working at a cubicle. This posture occurs by placing both elbows
on the table and drawing the hands up to the forehead so as to put “the blinders up.” The intention of
the blinders is to tell others that we are under stress and are trying to block out the rest of the world so
we can deal private matters.
Extreme cocooning on the other hand, is a complete shut down posture where the head collapses onto
the thighs while in a seated position. The posture is a form of self hugging as the arms are drawn in and
the legs are held together tightly. We see this form of cocooning only rarely as it is due to extreme
circumstances such as deaths of close relatives or massive natural disasters where houses and villages
are destroyed. The aim of the posture is to completely close off external pressures and internalize what
has just happened.