The Ultimate Body Language Book

If you meet a “Not OK” person you will subconsciously feel uneasy or suspicious. Sometimes people
put on a good temporary show but within a few minutes their bodies relax only to revert back to their
natural dispositions. We instinctively know this and read it, but don’t always bring it to our active
consciousness to process it. Have you ever asked others what your body language portrays? Do you
hold certain gestures that make you look unapproachable or negative?
One of my wife’s friends consistently receives negative comments about her scowls despite being an
extremely kind hearted person. However her natural face appears ‘bitchy’, so much so that it’s her
defining feature and one that is joked about by those that really know her. This example raises an
important point. Our bodies leak information without our consent and when we aren’t receiving the
results we want, we should do something proactive about it. From an outside perspective, people think
that her face really shows inner turmoil and then discount her kindheartedness even on a first
impression. It is her facial expressions that set the tone with others, even before she has the chance to
speak. She then must work extra diligently to reverse the first impression she creates. People naturally
perceive those that hold negative facial expressions and body language to be holding a grudge. This
story outlines the importance of monitoring our gestures and facial expressions to convey the types of
feelings we wish to show the world and achieve the results we desire. Thus, while I don’t know this
person well enough to explain this trait to her without offending her, others have, but with only
mediocre results. At least now she is aware of what impression she makes, so she can resolve matters
more quickly if she senses negativity from others. With just a modest change she could reap immense
results.
The point here is that if you hold negative body language, it’s not yet too late to fix things so hold your
head up high and watch people around you begin to treat you better. Sit more upright, swing your arms,
smile more and despite inner feelings, start acting happy. Body language is a great way to ‘fake it until
you make it’. Holding confident body language makes us feel confident so let’s use our bodies to
change the patterns in our brains.