The Ultimate Body Language Book

Tugging at the ears helps distract the mind from emotional stress.
“Auto contact” is a term used to describe any gesture such as stroking the beard, rubbing the hands,
tugging the ear, massaging the throat, pulling the fingers, rubbing the back of the neck and so forth,
which is meant to sooth the body and create comfort. These gestures are also used to eliminate internal
tensions and provide reassurance. It is believed that these mannerisms stem from childhood sources
when our parents would comfort us with touch. Social touching has been shown to increase oxytocin
which is a natural chemical messenger released by the brain. Oxytocin also helps in reducing anxiety,
and creates feelings of contentment, calmness and creates trust. Studies reveal that oxytocin plays a big
role in orgasm since it helps control fear and anxiety. In fact, when negative emotions aren’t controlled,
orgasm is impossible. Self touching serves to fight the underlying stress associated with the negative
stimulus so as to recreate the feelings of having someone sooth you. This reminds people of more
pleasurable situations. In short, it takes the mind to a better place. Grooming and self touching, stem
wholly from arousal but this arousal can be due to a variety of reasons. It might stem from anxiety,
anger, stress or uncertainty. It will be your job to decide which is the main cause, and part of this means
that you need to take context in mind.
Interestingly manipulations, in this way, provide others will ‘tells’ that indicate which parts of our
bodies we don’t like. For example, a man who is self conscious about his hair loss will frequently brush
or stroke his head in a failed effort to hide the bareness, especially so when under stress He might also
run his hand backwards over his head or smooth it or pat it. A woman with a large nose will motion or
touch it whenever she feels insecure. Thus, not only do these ‘tells’ indicate that someone is stressed,
but they tell us what parts of their bodies they find most troublesome. In a chain reaction, the stress
produces an underlying emotion that then creates a behaviour – a gesture, that serves to fight the stress.
This behaviour then in turn reveals an underlying self conscious attitude toward a part of our bodies.
The method used to “attack” the ‘tell’ will give you additional clues to the intent. For example, a child
who is angry will pick and pull at a scar whereas one that is embarrassed will tend to cover it from
sight or brush it.