The Ultimate Body Language Book
A classic evaluative gesture done by producing an “L” shape with the thumb and index fingers, but where the chin is not carrying any weight. We can measure the level of interest or negativity our listeners have by how much pressure is held by the hand during conversation. Under average evaluative body language, the index finger is placed to the side of the head and only lightly supports the weight of the head, or the hands are left and placed on the table with palms up or uncrossed to the front of the body. When the hands touch the face and interest is present, the index and thumb will form an “L” shape and the chin is placed in the crux of the “L” but is not supported by it. Conversely, with genuine interest, the hand will barely touch the side of the face. In this case, the hand curls and the knuckles gently rests against the side of the face, and in other cases, the hand remains open with the finger tips of the index and middle finger gently resting on the cheek. As the listener becomes bored or tired, the hand will bear more and more of the weight and the body will seem to slump completely over the hand and be supported by it. As boredom sets in, the thumb will move under the chin to help the person hold their head even further, or the chin will seem to compress into the palm. When the index finger is found playing with or rubbing the corner of the eyes it indicates fatigue or disbelief as in “I can’t see that.” Movements to the eye like also serve to show negative thoughts and emotions. We should be careful to watch for them. She’s growing bored – we know because her “L” hand is taking on some the weight of her head. Now she’s checking out as the head is clearly being supported by the palm. Seeing these cues develop tells us that it’s time to change the subject to revive interest, change locations to get the blood flowing again, or take a break to try to recover, and in extreme cases, throw in the towel and give up. Boredom is a negative thought indicator and the cues used to indicate it tell us that rapport is being lost between the listener and the speaker. Interested individuals inject themselves and their body completely into the conversation, rather than detaching themselves.
Chapter 10 - Attentive And Evaluative Body Language Other Attentive Cues There are a variety of singular cues that also serve to indicate attention. Concentration for example, is obvious when the face is scrunched together, the eyes narrowed as if to focus on a prey, with the eyebrows tightened inward. Reflective activities can also include matching the body language of the speaker, not interrupting and using agreement sounds such as ‘uh huh’ and ‘mhum’. We rarely think about the powers of these small sounds but it can make the difference between having your counterpart believe they made a connection right up to contempt as in “He just sat there and didn’t say a word”. By nodding and adding agreement sounds, the person will feel heard and therefore appreciated. Paraphrasing back what was just said to the speaker, is another method of sending the correct message. This technique shows what is called active listening and shows that you are internalizing what is said and affords a chance to clarify any misinterpreted information.
- Page 307 and 308: superiority and royalty has made th
- Page 309 and 310: space, leaning on their cars, putti
- Page 311 and 312: onds. Dominant people figure that w
- Page 313 and 314: Further research shows that justifi
- Page 315 and 316: oth be made more healthy just by sh
- Page 317 and 318: Chapter 8 - Dominant and Submissive
- Page 319 and 320: can link them in our minds, yet kee
- Page 321 and 322: Hugging one’s self is a defensive
- Page 323 and 324: elbow in the hand while that arm is
- Page 325 and 326: Arm gripping is a sign that someone
- Page 327 and 328: eadiness to attack. It can also be
- Page 329 and 330: A purse can be used as a shield to
- Page 331 and 332: higher than a few inches, or the ha
- Page 333 and 334: The chair is a prop used to shield
- Page 335 and 336: conditions, so we might benefit fro
- Page 337 and 338: Chapter 9 -Defensive And Aggressive
- Page 339 and 340: Chapter 9 -Defensive And Aggressive
- Page 341 and 342: Fists clenching is an early sign of
- Page 343 and 344: Nose flaring or “nasal wing dilat
- Page 345 and 346: Chapter 9 -Defensive And Aggressive
- Page 347 and 348: This isn’t going well - she looks
- Page 349 and 350: Chapter 9 -Defensive And Aggressive
- Page 351 and 352: Chapter 10 - Attentive And Evaluati
- Page 353 and 354: Chapter 10 - Attentive And Evaluati
- Page 355 and 356: A slouched appearance is a clear me
- Page 357: Chapter 10 - Attentive And Evaluati
- Page 361 and 362: cartoons. The cliché says that the
- Page 363 and 364: is disliked. However, there is anot
- Page 365 and 366: the glasses signifies deep thought.
- Page 367 and 368: form a bridge. In this posture fing
- Page 369 and 370: interlocked hands as if praying but
- Page 371 and 372: one’s self back” as one might d
- Page 373 and 374: Pinching the bridge of the nose. Ch
- Page 375 and 376: emotions we talk about what motivat
- Page 377 and 378: Burying yourself in a book or liste
- Page 379 and 380: smoothing clothing, rotating a wedd
- Page 381 and 382: The fight or flight response is a b
- Page 383 and 384: Chapter 11 - Emotional Body Languag
- Page 385 and 386: Extreme anxiety causes the desire t
- Page 387 and 388: Clenching and gripping can have man
- Page 389 and 390: A hand-to-mouth gesture used to pla
- Page 391 and 392: Tugging at the ears helps distract
- Page 393 and 394: is also in effort to self sooth. Wi
- Page 395 and 396: indicate confrontation due to anger
- Page 397 and 398: as the fingers stroke the inside of
- Page 399 and 400: need to mouth it, and yet it, so as
- Page 401 and 402: When the mouth becomes inverted in
- Page 403 and 404: Pushing the tongue through compress
- Page 405 and 406: Sneering often happens as a microex
- Page 407 and 408: The ear grab refers to a subconscio
A classic evaluative gesture done by producing an “L” shape with the thumb and index fingers, but<br />
where the chin is not carrying any weight.<br />
We can measure the level of interest or negativity our listeners have by how much pressure is held by<br />
the hand during conversation. Under average evaluative body language, the index finger is placed to<br />
the side of the head and only lightly supports the weight of the head, or the hands are left and placed on<br />
the table with palms up or uncrossed to the front of the body. When the hands touch the face and<br />
interest is present, the index and thumb will form an “L” shape and the chin is placed in the crux of the<br />
“L” but is not supported by it. Conversely, with genuine interest, the hand will barely touch the side of<br />
the face. In this case, the hand curls and the knuckles gently rests against the side of the face, and in<br />
other cases, the hand remains open with the finger tips of the index and middle finger gently resting on<br />
the cheek. As the listener becomes bored or tired, the hand will bear more and more of the weight and<br />
the body will seem to slump completely over the hand and be supported by it. As boredom sets in, the<br />
thumb will move under the chin to help the person hold their head even further, or the chin will seem to<br />
compress into the palm. When the index finger is found playing with or rubbing the corner of the eyes<br />
it indicates fatigue or disbelief as in “I can’t see that.” Movements to the eye like also serve to show<br />
negative thoughts and emotions. We should be careful to watch for them.<br />
She’s growing bored – we know because her “L” hand is taking on some the weight of her head.<br />
Now she’s checking out as the head is clearly being supported by the palm.<br />
Seeing these cues develop tells us that it’s time to change the subject to revive interest, change<br />
locations to get the blood flowing again, or take a break to try to recover, and in extreme cases, throw<br />
in the towel and give up. Boredom is a negative thought indicator and the cues used to indicate it tell us<br />
that rapport is being lost between the listener and the speaker. Interested individuals inject themselves<br />
and their body completely into the conversation, rather than detaching themselves.
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