The Ultimate Body Language Book

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Chapter 10 - Attentive And Evaluative Body Language Introduction – Chapter 10 Trying not to pay attention. It’s not a stretch to say that reading attentive and evaluative body language is a useful skill for everyone at one time or another. For teachers, attentive and evaluative body language cues are useful to read student interest and their level of active thought, for sellers it provides a gauge to the efficacy of a pitch, and to acquaintances at a social even, the level of engagement. A presenter at a conference might want to measure his story telling skills and so might look for cues to “undivided attention”. He might therefore be interested in shortening presentation points that create fidgeting and shuffling. The salesman, on the other hand, also wants to avoid boredom, but needs to watch for evaluative gestures such as chin stroking, flared nostrils, pinching the bridge of the nose and rubbing the back of the neck to see how close he is to closing the sale and what level of decision making is at hand in his target. Does a chin stroking mean he’s already made up his mind and is mulling things over, or is he just satisfying and itch? Naturally, as the stakes rise, so too does the importance in reading evaluative and attentive body language accurately, so it is important to keep these cues at hand. In this chapter, “attentive” refers to the level of interest expressed during an interaction whereas “evaluative” delineates indicators that a decision is in the process of being made. This chapter, while brief, covers a significant subset of the body language that happens as people are in thought, give undivided attention or lack thereof and show that they are preparing to reach a decision. We also hit on the hidden meaning of glasses, hand steepling, neck rubbing and a subset of additional evaluative gestures we might encounter in our daily lives.

Chapter 10 - Attentive And Evaluative Body Language Undivided Attention An interested listener is focused on the entire person, their gestures, voice tone and the information delivered. Meeting in crowded areas offers plenty of distractions, which in and of itself might lead one to belief that measuring attention would be difficult. However, the opposite is actually true; in other words, it’s easier to measure interest in busy places because the eye can be caught wondering. As we covered earlier in the chapter on eye language, we can verify interest based on where eyes are cast. The eyes tell where the body wants to be, and when the mind is fully engaged on the presentation, the focus will be on the speaker rather then what is going on around them. Looking away rarely happens with someone who is completely engrossed in a conversation unless they do so to concentrate. We know from an earlier discussion, that faces are complicated making it difficult to process information. However absent of complex thought, we know that when someone looks away, it’s due to disinterest in the subject matter. Take for example, a very important news item appearing suddenly on television and the sequences of events that follow. First, we try to quiet a room so we have time to tune into the broadcast, next we locate the remote and turn the volume up loud enough so that even random noises don’t supersede the broadcast. Our eyes become fixated at the exclusion of anything else in the room and our ears become finely tuned to the voice of the broadcaster. When completely engaged, there is a fear of missing something important. This doesn’t just occur while watching television or movies, but can happen when in deep conversation, while reading something interesting or any other task for that matter. Any husband will tell you how easily it is to “tune” women out when watching sports! An interested listener is focused on the entire person, their gestures, voice tone and the information delivered. For most, the picture they pick up about the speaker’s body language is subconscious, but it does help them form an overall impression of their honesty, integrity, emotionality and so forth. Therefore the focus doesn’t stop on the words alone, but on the entire message. An attentive listener is

Chapter 10 - Attentive And Evaluative <strong>Body</strong> <strong>Language</strong><br />

Introduction – Chapter 10<br />

Trying not to pay attention.<br />

It’s not a stretch to say that reading attentive and evaluative body language is a useful skill for everyone<br />

at one time or another. For teachers, attentive and evaluative body language cues are useful to read<br />

student interest and their level of active thought, for sellers it provides a gauge to the efficacy of a<br />

pitch, and to acquaintances at a social even, the level of engagement.<br />

A presenter at a conference might want to measure his story telling skills and so might look for cues to<br />

“undivided attention”. He might therefore be interested in shortening presentation points that create<br />

fidgeting and shuffling. <strong>The</strong> salesman, on the other hand, also wants to avoid boredom, but needs to<br />

watch for evaluative gestures such as chin stroking, flared nostrils, pinching the bridge of the nose and<br />

rubbing the back of the neck to see how close he is to closing the sale and what level of decision<br />

making is at hand in his target. Does a chin stroking mean he’s already made up his mind and is<br />

mulling things over, or is he just satisfying and itch?<br />

Naturally, as the stakes rise, so too does the importance in reading evaluative and attentive body<br />

language accurately, so it is important to keep these cues at hand. In this chapter, “attentive” refers to<br />

the level of interest expressed during an interaction whereas “evaluative” delineates indicators that a<br />

decision is in the process of being made. This chapter, while brief, covers a significant subset of the<br />

body language that happens as people are in thought, give undivided attention or lack thereof and show<br />

that they are preparing to reach a decision. We also hit on the hidden meaning of glasses, hand<br />

steepling, neck rubbing and a subset of additional evaluative gestures we might encounter in our daily<br />

lives.

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