The Ultimate Body Language Book

especially in subordinates. When done on more dominant individuals it can lead to feelings of
aggression and in extreme cases, even physical altercations.
Holding eye contact for slightly longer than normal can send a powerful message. When looking at
strangers, it’s a common courtesy to look away when the eyes meet, at least after a few milliseconds
have elapsed. Staring is only permitted while looking at inanimate objects (and celebrities). By holding
an extended or even unblinking gaze toward strangers, we are telling them that we think of them no
more important than objects, a phenomenon celebrities know only too well. Naturally, eye contact and
staring means one thing to men, and something else entirely to women. When the sexes stare at each
other, it’s usually due to competitiveness or envy, as in, sizing up the competition and other times out of
pure curiousity. When the sexes stare at each other, it’s usually driven by sexual interest, however,
women are far less prone to staring in any case.
We covered proper eye gaze patterns in an earlier chapter and saw that the intimate gaze happens when
the eyes travel around the face and body of someone we care about. Staring, on the other hand, is
unmoving. The eyes are piercing and intense, unblinking, and seem to want to penetrate the eyes of
another. An aggressive stare is even more intense and happens by narrowing the eyelids creating a deep
focus. Second to the unblinking eyes is the “slow blink”. This one can be imagined, but must really be
seen to understand its true intensity. While a slow blink done with a tilt of the head can appear alluring
when done by an attractive woman, it does nothing to arouse positive emotions when done head on.
The slow blink is intensified by tilted the head forward revealing the crown, and especially intense
when the head is tilted backwards while looking down at an opponent “through” the bridge of the nose.
The final cue in the slow blink cue cluster is pursed lips and the cue cluster, as a whole, signals
disapproval and contempt.
You’ve probably never made conscious the universal “stare test” but it goes something like this. First
you use proper eye language cast around a busy room, perhaps a grocery store, horizontally focusing on
whatever is of interest. By accident, you make eye contact with someone and to show that you are no
threat, you quickly shift your eyes to the left or right and continue a normal eye pattern. If no “eye
flash” happens, as we saw earlier, we understand them to be a stranger. To make sure you haven’t been
targeted by eye assault, you return your gaze after a few moments to see if that person is still fixated on
you. If they are, you drop eye contact again, but then quickly look back. If eye contact is met again, this
will set you on alert, and so you begin a very minor fight or flight response by keeping your distance.
At a subconscious level you have identified a possibly dangerous individual.