The Ultimate Body Language Book
of a bag or briefcase where the arms must cross the body, playing with a bracelet, watch or shirt button and holding a drink with both hands. Any sort of motion that allows one hand or arm to cross the center of the body, or where a crutch object is sought that otherwise serves little or no appropriate purpose, qualifies as a security blanket. To those aware of the cue, it is a very easy ‘tell’ to catch, because there really is no purpose for the behaviour aside from tension relief. What to know if a women trust you? See how she reacts around her handbag! The handbag is a very personal item for women and she uses it as an item of security. When nervous or out of place, she can dive into her bag and checks its contents so as to symbolically connects her to the comforts of home and exempt her from outside interruptions. In other words, while she checks her back, she’s busy, don’t bother her! Handbags give women something to grasp onto and hold especially if they feel particularly self-conscious or insecure and will feel naked without it. On the other hand, if she allows the handbag contents to be viewed by a potential male suitor, or trusts him to guard it, you can bet that she is willing to explore a relationship. Women are personally connected to their handbags! Chapter 9 –Defensive And Aggressive Body Language The Stiff Or Curved Arm The stiff arm is an obvious signal that approach is unwelcome as it forms a solid barrier around our personal space zone. A more obvious defensive posture is the stiff arm which happens by thrusting the arm forward and away from the body with the palm face vertical in a “stop” type signal. Another defensive posture is the curved arm, a variation of the stiff arm, where the arm is bent and locked at the elbow and thrust outward facing down or horizontally. As a cluster, the stiff arm and curved arm is accompanied by a step backwards to reclaim stolen space, which is the true intention of the stiff arm. Both postures are called “arm-distancing” tactics because the arms are used to control space. When we say “Keeping people at arms length” this is the body language we refer to. The curved arm also creates a closed body position since the arm crosses over the middle of the body. At times, the arm fails to come up any
higher than a few inches, or the hand might flip upwards slightly while being held at waist level, however, the message is the same. As the intensity of the approach increases, the hand and arm will rise even further and a person will shift their weight backwards. Football running backs use the stiff and curved arm to provide a space buffer in order to fend off tackles by keeping the arms of defenders away from their bodies. The space created next to the body, to the inside of the elbow in the curved arm, is reserved so that no one can enter. The curved and stiff arm both serve to deflect a possible attack away from the body or when navigating crowded areas such as airports, amusement parks or nightclubs. Women can also be found doing this too, especially when men get too close for comfort. The signal is a strong indicator that personal space is being violated and the carrier of the message does not want someone to come even an inch closer. Men in dating situations should be particularly aware of this body language and treat it appropriately, back up, and give some space. Other times, the stiff or curved arm is used to thwart closeness that is not necessarily due to physical threat. Sometimes we keep our arms out just to keep people we don’t like from getting too close. The arms can also indicate how much someone likes or dislikes someone by their proximity to other people. When someone is particularly turned off by someone else they will keep their arms away from them inso-much as their bodies can maintain enough personal space and don’t need to be thrown in harms way, so to speak, to serve as stiff arms. Chapter 9 –Defensive And Aggressive Body Language Objects As Barriers The chair is employed to maintain distance. How the environment is used by people can provide clues to their inner thoughts and emotions. For example, propping up against the wall indicates that the person is in need of support (or is really tired) which shows that they are incapable of comfort without the assistance the structure affords. Hiding a
- Page 279 and 280: This cop knows his game. By keeping
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- Page 291 and 292: at all since all you stand to lose
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- Page 295 and 296: might foster mirroring where they m
- Page 297 and 298: the body take up more space and hen
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- Page 303 and 304: A challenge to fight - the chin pop
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- Page 307 and 308: superiority and royalty has made th
- Page 309 and 310: space, leaning on their cars, putti
- Page 311 and 312: onds. Dominant people figure that w
- Page 313 and 314: Further research shows that justifi
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- Page 319 and 320: can link them in our minds, yet kee
- Page 321 and 322: Hugging one’s self is a defensive
- Page 323 and 324: elbow in the hand while that arm is
- Page 325 and 326: Arm gripping is a sign that someone
- Page 327 and 328: eadiness to attack. It can also be
- Page 329: A purse can be used as a shield to
- Page 333 and 334: The chair is a prop used to shield
- Page 335 and 336: conditions, so we might benefit fro
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- Page 341 and 342: Fists clenching is an early sign of
- Page 343 and 344: Nose flaring or “nasal wing dilat
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- Page 347 and 348: This isn’t going well - she looks
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- Page 351 and 352: Chapter 10 - Attentive And Evaluati
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- Page 355 and 356: A slouched appearance is a clear me
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- Page 361 and 362: cartoons. The cliché says that the
- Page 363 and 364: is disliked. However, there is anot
- Page 365 and 366: the glasses signifies deep thought.
- Page 367 and 368: form a bridge. In this posture fing
- Page 369 and 370: interlocked hands as if praying but
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- Page 373 and 374: Pinching the bridge of the nose. Ch
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- Page 377 and 378: Burying yourself in a book or liste
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higher than a few inches, or the hand might flip upwards slightly while being held at waist level,<br />
however, the message is the same. As the intensity of the approach increases, the hand and arm will rise<br />
even further and a person will shift their weight backwards.<br />
Football running backs use the stiff and curved arm to provide a space buffer in order to fend off<br />
tackles by keeping the arms of defenders away from their bodies. <strong>The</strong> space created next to the body, to<br />
the inside of the elbow in the curved arm, is reserved so that no one can enter. <strong>The</strong> curved and stiff arm<br />
both serve to deflect a possible attack away from the body or when navigating crowded areas such as<br />
airports, amusement parks or nightclubs. Women can also be found doing this too, especially when men<br />
get too close for comfort. <strong>The</strong> signal is a strong indicator that personal space is being violated and the<br />
carrier of the message does not want someone to come even an inch closer. Men in dating situations<br />
should be particularly aware of this body language and treat it appropriately, back up, and give some<br />
space.<br />
Other times, the stiff or curved arm is used to thwart closeness that is not necessarily due to physical<br />
threat. Sometimes we keep our arms out just to keep people we don’t like from getting too close. <strong>The</strong><br />
arms can also indicate how much someone likes or dislikes someone by their proximity to other people.<br />
When someone is particularly turned off by someone else they will keep their arms away from them inso-much<br />
as their bodies can maintain enough personal space and don’t need to be thrown in harms way,<br />
so to speak, to serve as stiff arms.<br />
Chapter 9 –Defensive And Aggressive <strong>Body</strong> <strong>Language</strong><br />
Objects As Barriers<br />
<strong>The</strong> chair is employed to maintain distance.<br />
How the environment is used by people can provide clues to their inner thoughts and emotions. For<br />
example, propping up against the wall indicates that the person is in need of support (or is really tired)<br />
which shows that they are incapable of comfort without the assistance the structure affords. Hiding a
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