The Ultimate Body Language Book

can link them in our minds, yet keep them distinctive since they are near opposites. We use defensive
body language to figuratively protect ourselves against aggression, which isn’t always physical either.
In fact, the vast majority of the body language we will see, and appropriately label defensive, is that
which stems from emotional roots. After all, our evolution selected defensive body language came
about under primarily physical circumstances. Being yelled at, or scolded by a superior or rival, is
similar in a visceral sense to physical abuse. Any emotionally abused victim will tell you that the
suffering they experienced, is equally, if not more sever than that experienced by those physically
abused. In most cases threats in our daily lives come in much milder forms, such as high pressure sales,
a heated discussion, or a disagreement.
Defensive body language is a set of postures that make the body feel protected, secure and comfortable
in awkward situations. Defensive body language is also similar to submissive body language in that the
postures are aimed at protecting vulnerable parts of our bodies, or in size reduction turning our bodies
into smaller targets.
Aggressive body language is nearly the mirror opposite. Here the body prepares for a real or figurative
attack as it becomes loose or tenses up and tries to appear larger and more threatening. Aggressive body
language can happen by clenching the fists, finger pointing or flared nostrils more technically termed
“nasal wing dilation”, and much more as we will see. Aggressive body language is simple to read and
classify because we instinctively find them to be a salient part of our lives. In fact, it is hard to go
through life without properly identifying aggressive body language. By missing cues to aggression,
even just once, it leads to disastrous conclusions which we naturally learn in short order how to avoid.
Defensive body language, on the other hand, because it is less of a threat, can easily be mistaken for
regular actions in a persons repertoire and be ignored. This is why we cover defensive body language in
much greater detail.
This chapter will cover defensive body language such as the double arm hug, partial arm cross, arm
gripping, fist clenching, the use of “security blankets” for comfort, using stiff arms, how barriers are
used to reduce angles of attack, how barriers like books and headphones can be used to our advantage,
in addition to others. We will then cover aggressive body language and signals of aggression such as
the unblinking eyes and personal space invaders.