The Ultimate Body Language Book

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Chapter 8 – Dominant and Submissive Gestures Touching Heals Us Both A warm embrace makes our body release positive hormones. According to the research, healing happens just by holding hands and hugging. Men and women can
oth be made more healthy just by sharing touch. In a study by Dr. James Coan, a researcher from the University of Virginia who measured the response of men warned of an electric shock as they were placed in a MRI machine showed that holding the hand of a spouse actually helped them turn off part of the brain so they felt less distress. The handholding reduced agitation in the hypothalamus which is responsible for producing stress hormones. Over time, stress hormones can weaken the immune system and lead to sickness. For women, a long and affectionate hug from men releases the bonding hormone oxytocin which helps reduce blood pressure and helps the health of the heart. Men, try this for yourself. The next time your wife or girlfriend start into you, give her a long embrace. At first she will squirm and appear to suffer, but after a few seconds she will begin to accept the hug and her brain will release oxytocin. Soon, she will forget her reasons for feeling so upset. It’s a dirty trick, but very effective, and your wife might even thank (me)! For men however, snuggling is slightly (a lot) less powerful, and where hugs leave off, sex takes over. For men, oxytocin surges up to fives times that of normal immediately before he reaches orgasm. In a study at Queen’s University in Belfast on nearly one thousand middle aged men followed over a decade, it was found that men who had sex at least three times a week had a fifty percent reduction in risk of heart attack or stroke. Those who reported the most frequent orgasms had a death rate of oneand-a-half less then less sexually active men. So for both sexes touch can be very effective for the health, although the currency of touch differs significantly amongst the sexes. Of course, there’s really no reason a good long hug can’t turn into something much more! Chapter 8 – Dominant and Submissive Gestures The Power Of The Pause Using fillers such as “umms” and “ahhhs” or “You know what I’m talking about.” weaken speech. The simple solution is to inject more pauses. Instead of filling your language with junk, punctuating the point with a pause can be so much more effective. The mind can only work so fast and a tongue stuck in overdrive can lead to disaster. Our perception of time also changes while under pressure. As our heart races, four to fives seconds can feel like an eternity! For some, even speaking to a small group of three or four can seem like a large audience, applying even more pressure. However, pauses in speech can increase our credibility significantly as people are given more time to process the information we have given them. The best speakers know that they won’t be cut off and this lack of fear (if this is the reason for the filler sounds) is notably absent. Filling the silence with words indicates to others that you are tentative, unsure and less dominant and in control. The only function filler words serve, is to dilute the words we do say, and make the entire collection of words less powerful. Don’t be afraid to leave an audience with silence as you collect your thoughts. Be sure to take time to breath, and therefore think, and use dialogue in short bursts followed by pauses and reflection. Alpha men and women are never afraid of silence, it is their ally and speaking at a half rate is not a terrible strategy either. It gives them twice as much time to think and also builds a huge amount of credibility. Listening to someone who uses good speech rate, tone, and pitch, on the other hand, can be inspiring. Politicians are especially adept at the pause. Senator Barack Obama in the 2008 Democratic race used pause more effectively than any other U.S. presidential candidate in recent time. His speech so much resembled a priest addressing his congregation, that it was startling and even frightening. He paused frequently to allow the crowd to cheer or stir beckoning for more.
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Chapter 1 - Why The Study Of Body L
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Looking Askance And Eye Rolling Ste
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The Stiff Or Curved Arm Objects As
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The Male Crotch Display Eliminating
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How To Accurately Read Lies Comfort
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Head down with hand to mouth is a
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publish it through the www.BodyLang
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Itchy nose or does this mean someth
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and then relate the body language s
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people’s natural desires to pleas
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mind and create positive or negativ
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to the world around us, and the sti
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pulled across the mouth, but the mu
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after years apart, or when someone
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these class of neurons might be rel
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keep the conversation going. They
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Subconscious facial expressions can
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arricades to block ourselves from v
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Chapter 2 - The Basics Of Understan
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accurately judge a person. The rule
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We regularly place more importance
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statements that are taken out of co
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on the spot, and in real time. Chap
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idiosyncrasy. Does this mean that e
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to be compare to a baseline as they
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such as postures and signals or in
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than simple observation. While Wats
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Millions of years ago, we gave up q
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fact there is a class of body langu
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speak, by observation and practice.
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Body language makes the intent of a
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We rarely catch women checking men
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Asymmetrical posture shows a lack o
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4. Keep your midsection tight to as
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kissing, back slapping, high fives,
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that create relief. Someone that is
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exercise except in this case the en
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especially as the evening progresse
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when people suffer from illness per
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Much debate has been raised about t
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present, the Japanese more than the
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Em
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This “a-okay” gesture means goo
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Il
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Af
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Re
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Ad
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characteristics. It is general in n
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of the speech during conversation.
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Cu
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Disgust.
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into facial emotion recognition and
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ecome more uniform, so too does the
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The handshake is quickly becoming t
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Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Int
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Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Pro
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An arm is extended to indicate that
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Personal Space Distances 1. Intimat
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wave of the hand in the country is
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This is a comfortable body ready fo
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Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Spa
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e it to respect it by reading their
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overtly show that they are being in
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its hidden meaning. Chapter 5 - See
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Chapter 5 - Seeing Eye To Eye - A L
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stance causing them to drop their a
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pocket money, looking for someone t
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females. The men in the study were
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preparation for action so we won’
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A second related nonverbal behavior
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flash it lasts on average for only
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This interest posture is hard to mi
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a good solid attempt should be made
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their thoughts. For most right-hand
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6) Kinesthetic Remembered (Tactile
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words), kinesthetic (touch) and vis
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meeting, so as to either, remedy th
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negative cue done to avoid harmful
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Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter The
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The uneven smile. This one is a fak
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Liars also find it difficult to smi
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Research on smiles has been a hot t
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Chimpanzees, like humans have two c
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our faces a break. We know instinct
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“Wipe that grin off your face”.
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egardless of their emotional state.
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is why it is important to surround
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Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter Is
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fun of a sprinter for being slow, i
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Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter Sum
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determine the thoughts, feelings an
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obstruction from any limbs or objec
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His ventral display says that he’
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Chapter 7 - Opened Mind Opened Body
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Wrists displays shows comfort. I th
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Pockets make great hand-hiding plac
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parties hands might graduate away.
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something. Rubbing the hands togeth
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The “politicians gesture” comes
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The “offerer” wants to give you
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Any time a part of the body crosses
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An abbreviated arm cross where the
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The coffee cup barrier - even drink
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Cutting off ventral access is a clo
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Good things are not on the horizon.
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up it would be worthwhile to contin
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The legs therefore, are a great ind
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Women with legs open are often seen
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their legs as a dominance display a
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seated or standing. While seated th
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palm down, as if to dry them, and y
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disagreement at every turn. The fig
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posture occurs by placing one or bo
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we are already committed, our feet
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Page 265 and 266: If one person fails to open up, usu
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Page 271 and 272: In this chapter we will cover an en
Page 273 and 274: There are cues that can eliminate,
Page 275 and 276: includes submissive gestures so som
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Page 279 and 280: This cop knows his game. By keeping
Page 281 and 282: Chapter 8 - Dominant and Submissive
Page 283 and 284: verbal language. Let’s take anoth
Page 291 and 292: at all since all you stand to lose
Page 293 and 294: we saw before, the figure-four-leg
Page 295 and 296: might foster mirroring where they m
Page 297 and 298: the body take up more space and hen
Page 299 and 300: very pronounced compared to many ot
Page 301 and 302: downwards towards the crotch. Popul
Page 303 and 304: A challenge to fight - the chin pop
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Page 309 and 310: space, leaning on their cars, putti
Page 311 and 312: onds. Dominant people figure that w
Page 313: Further research shows that justifi
Page 319 and 320: can link them in our minds, yet kee
Page 321 and 322: Hugging one’s self is a defensive
Page 323 and 324: elbow in the hand while that arm is
Page 325 and 326: Arm gripping is a sign that someone
Page 327 and 328: eadiness to attack. It can also be
Page 329 and 330: A purse can be used as a shield to
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Page 333 and 334: The chair is a prop used to shield
Page 335 and 336: conditions, so we might benefit fro
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Page 341 and 342: Fists clenching is an early sign of
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Page 351 and 352: Chapter 10 - Attentive And Evaluati
Page 355 and 356: A slouched appearance is a clear me
Page 361 and 362: cartoons. The cliché says that the
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the glasses signifies deep thought.
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form a bridge. In this posture fing
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interlocked hands as if praying but
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one’s self back” as one might d
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Pinching the bridge of the nose. Ch
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emotions we talk about what motivat
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Burying yourself in a book or liste
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smoothing clothing, rotating a wedd
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The fight or flight response is a b
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Chapter 11 - Emotional Body Languag
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Extreme anxiety causes the desire t
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Clenching and gripping can have man
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A hand-to-mouth gesture used to pla
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Tugging at the ears helps distract
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is also in effort to self sooth. Wi
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indicate confrontation due to anger
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as the fingers stroke the inside of
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need to mouth it, and yet it, so as
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When the mouth becomes inverted in
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Pushing the tongue through compress
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Sneering often happens as a microex
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The ear grab refers to a subconscio
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Itchy nose or does this mean someth
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aggressive with their gestures and
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These legs are interested - note ho
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where the toe is facing down, but t
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useful skill in reading people. Bei
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Happiness. Happiness (smile): The g
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__________ Ever thought about why o
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would identify the policemen as par
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mimicry of postures, mannerisms, fa
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[D] Keeping the legs uncrossed. [E]
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an imagined negotiation scenario wh
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loose situation where one person wi
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dialect, speech rate or tempo, pitc
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Chapter 12 - Mirroring And Building
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undetected lest it cause irreversib
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although it can be helpful to women
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Some men are naturals - the rest of
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‘Accidental touching’ is a subt
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals The
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals She
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The “hands on hips” or hands
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Tibi
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The Forehead Bow, Smiling And Child
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Tickling and other play related act
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Shoulder shrugs make the outline of
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parts aren’t inherently sexy on t
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Hair tossing is done by women to sh
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also tend to carry low hip-to-waist
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Groo
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals The
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Hiki
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correlate it back to their fertilit
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good signal of attraction. Sometime
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Echo
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Kiss
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dropper here and there with regards
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If this sort of tactic makes you un
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Women prefer men with square jaws a
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features and “dance” for them.
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There are a few postures that men u
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effectively to attract his attentio
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Domi
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the same position for too long. Rat
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Tona
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Even stone faced women can be broke
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the mating dance, men can see these
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Hand touches shoulder. This form of
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Summ
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customer and should be respected. T
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expect it. Anyone lower in the food
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they are doing when they shake hand
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normal. Three pumps is recommended
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language H
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language L
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language H
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language W
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language R
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sit because, and what affect seatin
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Boardrooms present an interesting p
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements C
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are already a part of your team and
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ooks, papers and other belongings t
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements S
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements S
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements C
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was the trickle down effect where t
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements O
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A low rank desk arrangement because
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alance between looking out the wind
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He’s already a bit taller than me
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eceiving a D or F from twenty-three
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Touching the nose has long been use
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question “Does this dress make me
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Chapter 16 - Deception and Lie Dete
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while lying was taking place. For e
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create facts instead of simply reca
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One of the most reported cues of de
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To avoid detection, under the ‘fr
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catcher braced and ducked with his
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ecognition software that reads all
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__________ False smile: Where the e
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Such devices are new and their effe
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denial statements such as nodding
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level of guilt. 4. If possible have
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info. This is public info after the
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Evolution and Human Behavior. 27(1)
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Communication Research. 13 (3): 345
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21(4): 1-10. Frank M.G. and Ekman P
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Hecht, M.A. and LaFrance, M. 1988.
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Knackstedt, G., & Kleinke, C. L. (1
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exploring the accuracy of visitor a
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Peluchette, J. V., K. Karl, and K.
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Sommer, R. 1967. Socifugal space. A
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nonverbal behavior. 21: 87-102. Vri
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