The Ultimate Body Language Book

classic eye-glass wearing domineering teacher or librarian look when a student has done something she
does not approve of, so she stares him down. The gesture can be done by looking over the glasses or
simply by looking down the bridge of the nose. The posture elicits a prey response in others because it
puts them in an aggressive relationship with the predator peering down on them. Tilting the head back
is a way to adjust the height levels between people because by doing so it raises the level of the eyes by
a few inches. Looking down the nose is indicative of someone that is condescending or pushy and is an
authoritarian posture but is also a gravity defying body language so shows confidence and positivity.
It’s where the phrase “Keep your chin up” come from when we wish others to frame their outlook in a
more constructive light. Conversely the chin down shows negativity and destructive thoughts such as
judgement.
While the cue can be done without glasses, peering over them by slightly pulling them down as if to get
a better view is even stronger. A friend of mine who is a photographer explained to me that he felt
turned off by a client that habitually held this posture. For whatever reason, it was her natural tendency
to tilt her head back and look down the bridge of her nose at the camera. Since the nose and chin move
together they both signal the same sort of high confidence dominant signal. At the time he didn’t know
why but was quick to have the model drop this posture because it didn’t feel right to him. I explained to
him that he likely felt put off by the posture because it made her appear dominant and authoritative
when he was likely looking for a coy pose instead. I was right after all. His reply “Why would anyone
want to look at a domineering model peering down on her subjects?” He then explained that he wasn’t
doing a stock photo for a fluff editorial, rather “She wanted to look attractive for her boyfriend!” We
both found this amusing; he would have received an interesting surprise!
Chapter 8 – Dominant and Submissive Gestures
The Chair Straddler
The chair straddler is a dominant, yet cowardly sitting position, because for one, the seating position
requires one to spread their legs wide open exposing the genitals, and two, because symbolically it is as
if they were holding a shield against their chest. Crotch displays are typical for dominant people,
especially men. Women can also sometimes display authority in this fashion but if done improperly it
appears like a sexual invitation rather than a dominance display. Figuratively, chair straddlers are spears
throwers or arrows flingers as they toss words at others from behind their barricade. It might not always
be the intention of the staddler to come across this way, so it is our duty as good body language readers,
to reserve judgment until we catalog enough cues in clusters. For every rule there are always
exceptions. The point here though, is that other people will judge us poorly if we become the person
that straddles chairs. Certain dominant body language is acceptable, but this isn’t one of them.
If you find yourself (over) exposed to a straddler, there are a few ways to disarm him from his shield.
The first is to change your seating location so that he no longer faces you directly, exposing his
genitals. You can also stand up altogether and even move behind him making his posture totally
ineffective. By moving behind him, his back will become exposed and unprotected, causing him to
tense up. The height differences will also force him to try to remain more erect and upright, so to speak,
causing him to feel uncomfortable and annoyed in short order. A proficient straddler will then turn his
chair (and his member) to face you, and just like a real-life chess game the pieces move strategically.
This brings about the third technique, which is to overcrowd his personal space by standing over him,
being careful to continuing the conversation. If all these techniques fail, and in most cases they won’t,
you can always call him out on his attitudes and body language. Like calling anyone out for any reason,
this is risky and can easily backfire alienate him altogether. In extreme situations, you might see no risk