The Ultimate Body Language Book

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Legs crossed at the ankles says I’m not happy – but I’m not going anywhere. ___________________________________________________________________________________ _______ Chapter 7 - Opened Mind Opened Body Closed Mind Closed Body How We Sequence The Letting Of Our Guard Initially when people meet there is apprehension. In today’s day and age this attitude is vestigial since most people are agreeable and sociable. It wasn’t always like this as our evolutionary past is full of treachery. Two strangers meeting on foreign territory could have meant war, violence or theft. For women, the consequences could have been worse and include rape and kidnapping. Holding a defensive posture, therefore, is a natural innate disposition and when people meet we should expect them to hold indications of timidity, at least initially. When two low ranking individuals meet they would naturally hold at least one posture that indicates that they are closed or protective. Having their arms or legs crossed at the ankles are two of the more common gestures. Those with higher rank will naturally express fewer closed postures initially when compared to those of lower rank. By the way, while we might feel rank in society is of no consequence, this couldn’t be further from the truth. As we are a capitalist society we are all more than aware of our relative standing in the world so our rank is well known to us. Even children understand they rank low in the hierarchy of the world. However, in new environments it’s normal for even adult bodies to tense up and show certain levels of awkwardness. When two strangers meet, they will have their arms folded across their chest or perhaps in a pocket and their legs will be crossed at the ankle. This depends entirely on their level of comfort related to the novelty of the environment and their perceived status in relation to the other people present. As the discussion continues between stranger, the feet are most likely the first to separate and uncross at the ankle, which will then be placed “at attention”, meaning together separated by a few inches and on the same plane. This will occur in unison with common dialogue, if no such rapport is built, the conversation can turn even more awkward and the bodies may tense and seek methods to exit the conversation. Next, the arms will become more animated and be used to colour their language, essentially losing their rigidity. The palms will be made more visible and be flashed palm-up in conversation showing honesty and openness. Next, the arms will remain uncrossed and become more active in the conversation showing comfort, be placed in pockets showing some residual reservation or be placed on the hips showing dominance if one or the other discovers they have a higher status. Next, and if general agreement is established, one foot might be extended toward the other person rather than an exit.
If one person fails to open up, usually both wont, as mirroring each other is also part of the natural process. In rare occasions, one person will open up, and the other will not, showing one-way agreement or that one person is generally more open minded and easy to please than the and the other. Finally, the distance between the two might be reduced by taking a step forward, or brief touching might take place in safe zones such as the forearm or elbow. Chapter 7 - Opened Mind Opened Body Closed Mind Closed Body Avoiding The Eyes Avoiding eye contact is usually bad news. The eyes can also signal that someone is closed-off. We turn our heads when we wish to avoid being singled out in a lecture hall or boardroom meeting. To represent a closed attitude we might pull our chins in and tuck our heads down. In theory this is to protect our vulnerable necks from attack so it also indicates and fearful state. When we wish to scold children we make sure they give us full eye contact in order to measures their reaction and to ensure they’ve given us their undivided attention. This trait is culturally specific however, as some parents require that children avoid eye contact precisely for the same reason other parents require it; to show respect for authority. That being said, a lack of direct eye contact during a conversation is not always to be taken as a negative cue or rejection. Research has shown that concentrating on faces takes a lot of effort so we look away in order to properly analyze what is being said. Looking away is also a signal that we are comfortable with our company because we can safely look away with no risk of being attacked. In other words, looking away shows that we trust those around us. As such, looking away is a “comfort display.” The distinction between rude eye avoidance and a comfort display should be obvious. For example, dropping the eyes in order to focus on picking the dirt from beneath the nails to “preen”, removing lint from clothing while avoiding a topic, or glazing over expressionless in boredom is not the same as looking away during a conversation to focus more deeply.
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Chapter 1 - Why The Study Of Body L
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Looking Askance And Eye Rolling Ste
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The Stiff Or Curved Arm Objects As
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The Male Crotch Display Eliminating
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How To Accurately Read Lies Comfort
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Head down with hand to mouth is a
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publish it through the www.BodyLang
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Itchy nose or does this mean someth
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and then relate the body language s
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people’s natural desires to pleas
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mind and create positive or negativ
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to the world around us, and the sti
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pulled across the mouth, but the mu
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after years apart, or when someone
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these class of neurons might be rel
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keep the conversation going. They
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Subconscious facial expressions can
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arricades to block ourselves from v
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Chapter 2 - The Basics Of Understan
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accurately judge a person. The rule
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We regularly place more importance
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statements that are taken out of co
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on the spot, and in real time. Chap
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idiosyncrasy. Does this mean that e
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to be compare to a baseline as they
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such as postures and signals or in
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than simple observation. While Wats
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Millions of years ago, we gave up q
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fact there is a class of body langu
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speak, by observation and practice.
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Body language makes the intent of a
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We rarely catch women checking men
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Asymmetrical posture shows a lack o
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4. Keep your midsection tight to as
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kissing, back slapping, high fives,
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that create relief. Someone that is
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exercise except in this case the en
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especially as the evening progresse
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when people suffer from illness per
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Much debate has been raised about t
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present, the Japanese more than the
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Em
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This “a-okay” gesture means goo
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Il
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Af
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Re
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Ad
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characteristics. It is general in n
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of the speech during conversation.
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Cu
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Disgust.
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into facial emotion recognition and
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ecome more uniform, so too does the
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The handshake is quickly becoming t
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Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Int
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Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Pro
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An arm is extended to indicate that
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Personal Space Distances 1. Intimat
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wave of the hand in the country is
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This is a comfortable body ready fo
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Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Spa
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e it to respect it by reading their
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overtly show that they are being in
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its hidden meaning. Chapter 5 - See
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Chapter 5 - Seeing Eye To Eye - A L
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stance causing them to drop their a
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pocket money, looking for someone t
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females. The men in the study were
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preparation for action so we won’
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A second related nonverbal behavior
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flash it lasts on average for only
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This interest posture is hard to mi
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a good solid attempt should be made
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their thoughts. For most right-hand
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6) Kinesthetic Remembered (Tactile
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words), kinesthetic (touch) and vis
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meeting, so as to either, remedy th
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negative cue done to avoid harmful
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Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter The
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The uneven smile. This one is a fak
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Liars also find it difficult to smi
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Research on smiles has been a hot t
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Chimpanzees, like humans have two c
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our faces a break. We know instinct
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“Wipe that grin off your face”.
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egardless of their emotional state.
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is why it is important to surround
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Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter Is
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fun of a sprinter for being slow, i
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Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter Sum
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determine the thoughts, feelings an
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Page 215 and 216: His ventral display says that he’
Page 217 and 218: Chapter 7 - Opened Mind Opened Body
Page 219 and 220: Wrists displays shows comfort. I th
Page 221 and 222: Pockets make great hand-hiding plac
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Page 225 and 226: something. Rubbing the hands togeth
Page 227 and 228: The “politicians gesture” comes
Page 229 and 230: The “offerer” wants to give you
Page 231 and 232: Any time a part of the body crosses
Page 233 and 234: An abbreviated arm cross where the
Page 235 and 236: The coffee cup barrier - even drink
Page 237 and 238: Cutting off ventral access is a clo
Page 239 and 240: Good things are not on the horizon.
Page 241 and 242: up it would be worthwhile to contin
Page 243 and 244: The legs therefore, are a great ind
Page 245 and 246: Women with legs open are often seen
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Page 249 and 250: seated or standing. While seated th
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Page 253 and 254: disagreement at every turn. The fig
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Page 273 and 274: There are cues that can eliminate,
Page 275 and 276: includes submissive gestures so som
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Page 279 and 280: This cop knows his game. By keeping
Page 281 and 282: Chapter 8 - Dominant and Submissive
Page 283 and 284: verbal language. Let’s take anoth
Page 291 and 292: at all since all you stand to lose
Page 293 and 294: we saw before, the figure-four-leg
Page 295 and 296: might foster mirroring where they m
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Page 299 and 300: very pronounced compared to many ot
Page 301 and 302: downwards towards the crotch. Popul
Page 303 and 304: A challenge to fight - the chin pop
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Page 313 and 314: Further research shows that justifi
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oth be made more healthy just by sh
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Chapter 8 - Dominant and Submissive
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can link them in our minds, yet kee
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Hugging one’s self is a defensive
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elbow in the hand while that arm is
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Arm gripping is a sign that someone
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eadiness to attack. It can also be
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A purse can be used as a shield to
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higher than a few inches, or the ha
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The chair is a prop used to shield
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conditions, so we might benefit fro
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Chapter 9 -Defensive And Aggressive
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Fists clenching is an early sign of
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Nose flaring or “nasal wing dilat
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This isn’t going well - she looks
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Chapter 10 - Attentive And Evaluati
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A slouched appearance is a clear me
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cartoons. The cliché says that the
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is disliked. However, there is anot
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the glasses signifies deep thought.
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form a bridge. In this posture fing
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interlocked hands as if praying but
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one’s self back” as one might d
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Pinching the bridge of the nose. Ch
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emotions we talk about what motivat
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Burying yourself in a book or liste
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smoothing clothing, rotating a wedd
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The fight or flight response is a b
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Chapter 11 - Emotional Body Languag
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Extreme anxiety causes the desire t
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Clenching and gripping can have man
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A hand-to-mouth gesture used to pla
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Tugging at the ears helps distract
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is also in effort to self sooth. Wi
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indicate confrontation due to anger
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as the fingers stroke the inside of
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need to mouth it, and yet it, so as
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When the mouth becomes inverted in
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Pushing the tongue through compress
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Sneering often happens as a microex
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The ear grab refers to a subconscio
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Itchy nose or does this mean someth
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aggressive with their gestures and
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These legs are interested - note ho
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where the toe is facing down, but t
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useful skill in reading people. Bei
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Happiness. Happiness (smile): The g
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__________ Ever thought about why o
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would identify the policemen as par
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mimicry of postures, mannerisms, fa
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[D] Keeping the legs uncrossed. [E]
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an imagined negotiation scenario wh
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loose situation where one person wi
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dialect, speech rate or tempo, pitc
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Chapter 12 - Mirroring And Building
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undetected lest it cause irreversib
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although it can be helpful to women
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Some men are naturals - the rest of
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‘Accidental touching’ is a subt
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals The
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals She
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The “hands on hips” or hands
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Tibi
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The Forehead Bow, Smiling And Child
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Tickling and other play related act
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Shoulder shrugs make the outline of
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parts aren’t inherently sexy on t
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Hair tossing is done by women to sh
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also tend to carry low hip-to-waist
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Groo
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals The
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Hiki
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correlate it back to their fertilit
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good signal of attraction. Sometime
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Echo
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Kiss
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dropper here and there with regards
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If this sort of tactic makes you un
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Women prefer men with square jaws a
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features and “dance” for them.
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There are a few postures that men u
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effectively to attract his attentio
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Domi
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the same position for too long. Rat
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Tona
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Even stone faced women can be broke
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the mating dance, men can see these
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Hand touches shoulder. This form of
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Summ
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customer and should be respected. T
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expect it. Anyone lower in the food
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they are doing when they shake hand
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normal. Three pumps is recommended
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language H
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language L
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language H
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language W
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language R
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sit because, and what affect seatin
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Boardrooms present an interesting p
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements C
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are already a part of your team and
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ooks, papers and other belongings t
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements S
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements S
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements C
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was the trickle down effect where t
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements O
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A low rank desk arrangement because
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alance between looking out the wind
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He’s already a bit taller than me
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eceiving a D or F from twenty-three
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Touching the nose has long been use
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question “Does this dress make me
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Chapter 16 - Deception and Lie Dete
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while lying was taking place. For e
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create facts instead of simply reca
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One of the most reported cues of de
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To avoid detection, under the ‘fr
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catcher braced and ducked with his
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ecognition software that reads all
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__________ False smile: Where the e
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Such devices are new and their effe
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denial statements such as nodding
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level of guilt. 4. If possible have
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info. This is public info after the
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Evolution and Human Behavior. 27(1)
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Communication Research. 13 (3): 345
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21(4): 1-10. Frank M.G. and Ekman P
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Hecht, M.A. and LaFrance, M. 1988.
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Knackstedt, G., & Kleinke, C. L. (1
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exploring the accuracy of visitor a
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Peluchette, J. V., K. Karl, and K.
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Sommer, R. 1967. Socifugal space. A
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nonverbal behavior. 21: 87-102. Vri
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