The Ultimate Body Language Book

comes about, we relinquish our control to them, but when two jokers meet, they’ll be found competing
against each other to tell the best joke in an attempt to hog the floor.
Typically men will use humour to joke with and playfully insult other men. Women use humour to
build social bonds and connect with each other. Women rarely pull off practical jokes. Men use humour
to jockey amongst other men for position in the hierarchy and this jockeying is found most prominent
when other women are present. Men unanimously prefer women who laugh at their jokes rather than
those who make them laugh especially when choosing sexual partners. In a study that followed one
hundred five students, it was found that women chose men who produce humour sixty-two percent of
the time whereas men choose women who appreciate their humour sixty-five percent of the time. When
female speakers present to a male audience they tended to laugh themselves seven percent more then
their male audience, whereas male speakers laugh about seven percent less than their female audience.
Neither sex laughs as much with female speakers as they do with male speakers.
No doubt, being a female comedian is one tough nut to crack which is why we see far more male
professional comedians than female. Both sexes are in agreement, women want a humour generator and
men want a humour appreciator. When it comes to friendship, men will seek out women that are funny,
but when it comes to sexual relationships, men tend to fair on the side of women that only laugh at
jokes rather than those who produce them. In fact, women that display strong tendencies to make other
people laugh appear to be a strong turn-off to men. In a 1990 study by Grammer and Eibl-Eibesfeldt
where men and women interacted in a natural conversation, the extent to which woman laughed while
in conversation was related to her desire to date the man. These findings show that laughing by women
is likely an evolutionary signal of sexual attraction. A note of caution though before men get all carried
away and start memorizing knock-knock jokes before heading the pub, is that while men who were
more humorous were rated more attractive they were also rated as less intelligent and trustworthy.
These results weren’t duplicated though as in other studies as humour was linked to other positive
personality traits, one of which includes intelligence. It’s likely though, that humour has a basis in
dating and attraction, but that women still appreciate someone that can be serious if need be.
Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter
Put-Down Humour
Even when we laugh at the expense of others and their misfortunes we create togetherness and
solidarity. Putdown humour is any humour that derives amusement at the expense of others. It can be
demeaning jokes, teasing, sarcasm or even self-deprecating remarks. While putdowns can be effective
to build bonds and friendship there exists certain rules of engagement. For example, a putdown must be
within a friendly framework and we must follow certain agreed upon rules. Taking putdown humour
too far can be hurtful, and particularly harsh putdowns can be used to elevate ourselves at the target’s
expense, or equally, we too we can become victim of putdowns. For example, in a study by Susan
Martin in 1978 out of American University it was shown that police officers who use putdown humour
against female officers tended to use it because they felt uncomfortable with the notion of having
females in a male dominated workplace. However, humour among, say men at a weekly poker night
can foster belonging. Overall, men will use putdown humour more often than women and also tend to
expect it. Practical jokes work similarly, and sporting teams frequently use pranks to welcome new
members.
The real key is to avoid hitting on truisms about a person that can be hurtful. Making fun of someone
for being ugly when in fact it is well known that they are confident beauty pageant winner or making