The Ultimate Body Language Book

Chapter 5 – Seeing Eye To Eye – A Look At The Language Of The Eye
Why Sometimes Eye Contact Is Bad
A 2006 study by Stirling University psychologists found that children who were instructed to avoid eye
contact while considering their response to a question had a seventy-two percent chance of answering
correctly but only a fifty percent chance of answered correctly when they had not been told to look
away. One of the theories advanced to explain this finding suggests that looking at human faces, which
are complex and information rich, requires a lot of mental processing and that this might disrupt
thinking. So next time you want a child (or anyone) to provide a correct answer, instead of forcing
them to be polite and maintain eye contact, allow them the freedom to cast their gaze wherever it might
fall so they can better process the information. The research shows that children were justified all along
by avoiding eye contact when posed difficult questions.
Eye aversion during complex thought is just one example of why sometimes eye contact is bad.
Another says that eye aversion controls hierarchy and many species of animals have evolved eye
aversion as a function of appeasement gestures. Primates will use direct stares as part of their threat
display which is a precursor to direct physical aggression. Averting the eyes altogether or looking down
and away with brief glances in the direction of the aggressor can serve to eliminate an attack response.
Eye aversion to reduce physical violence is to the benefit of both parties because it eliminates the
chances of serious injury or even death. In most cases the aggressor, having received the signal that he
is higher in the ranks, will stop in its tracks and turn away.
Eye aversion is a form of submission and submission is usually all that is desired from most attackers.
Simply put, violence is often the byproduct of two individuals who refuse to heed each other’s
dominance displays, and of which are naturally fairly evenly matched. When dominance displays
include things like strutting, stretching, false charges, chest pounding and so forth can not definitively
crown a winner, then the conflict is settled by physical contest. Obviously, the last description could
apply to any one species of animals, but it could also apply to people. When neither person backs
down, a fight ensues.
Children who avoid eye contact can also avoid being physically abused by other students, although it
does nothing to eliminate the problem altogether. It has been said that the only true way to settle a bully
down is to give them a bit of their own medicine. Bullies are always trying to pick easy fights to build
up their dominance and so tend not to want to fight as much as one would be lead to think. Eye contact
between humans and non-humans is also well documented. For example, young children who haven’t
yet learned to avoid eye contact with dogs, tend to be attacked more often as the dog perceives the child
as an aggressor. By most accounts it is recommended that people avoid direct eye contact when
confronted by bears to avoid hostile encounters. Avoiding eye contact switches off the threat response
and tells the bear that you do not wish to end the dispute with a physical contest.
In most animal species unwavering gaze is used to display dominance and aggression when it happens
between members of the same species. When it happens across species it indicates that a prey has been
centered out and the stalk has begun. Looking away and avoiding eye contact is a submissive cue and
the least dominant is usually the first one to look away. Knowing this, you can easily test out your own
dominance. Just pick a victim and stare directly into their eyes for an extended period of time. Whoever
breaks first admits to lower rank. You will see that direct and piercing eye contact lasting any longer
than five seconds will create an intense desire to look away. If you find it difficult to stare someone
down like this then look at the area just above the eyes, as if the person had a third eye. While we know
we aren’t making eye contact, the victim won’t realize the difference. Staring will evoke stress, they