The Ultimate Body Language Book

Chapter 4 – Space and Territory
Indicators of Invasion
‘Ventral denial,’ or turning the front of the body away is a sign that there is discomfort.
There are some very simple ways in which people indicate that they are being invaded, and they are
important should one want to avoid offending them. As we have learned in this chapter, personal space
is important to all people and so we want to be cautious not to intrude on others for two reasons: first,
for the sake of the comfort of the people around us, and second, for our own sake, so that people don’t
attach negative ideas to us.
Strangers should be given the most amount of space until we get to know them so we should avoid
breaking the five foot separation mark unless invited to do so. While it might seem rude to keep a new
acquaintance at a distance and five feet might even seem like a huge distance, it’s a clearly defined
ritual and a benchmark that most people find commonplace. For those that use touch to display
connectivity (the touchy-feely ones) should show reservation at least until proper rapport is built and
your acquaintance shows relaxed and open signals. Handshakes are common across most culture and
are acceptable greeting method when meeting new people. The kiss-hello and other more intimate
methods to greet find their place in many cultures, but the handshake is becoming more and more
popular across the globe, so it’s a fairly safe bet it will be well received. After the handshake is
complete, on should take a step back or to the side to converse. Next, you should allow the other person
to define their preferred zone in which to carry on the remainder of the interaction. This is done by
allowing them to move forward or backward if they desire. Eventually you will find a happy medium
between you and them, so do avoid continuously approaching or leaning forward, in other words, plant
your feet and keep an upright body.
Your partner will signal that you are encroaching on them and making them feel uncomfortable by
taking a step backwards. If this isn’t possible due to space restrictions, or while in tight quarters such as
an elevator, or if continuously followed by advancements, your partner will begin to pull their heads
backwards and away. Even when space is not limited, we may find that polite people that don’t wish to