The Ultimate Body Language Book

where eye contact is met with smiles, nods or waves and where doors are held open for others with
words such as “thank you” provided in exchange.
So why do busily moving city slickers seem as though they are moving about a forest of trees, instead
of a sea of actual living human beings with emotions and feelings? Why do city slickers dehumanize
themselves? The answer lies in phenomenon termed “masking.” Masking is a coping strategy used to
detach ourselves from our bodies so as to avoid negative feelings as we intrude on the personal space of
others and as our personal space is intruded upon. Sometimes we even mask with outwardly aggressive
emotions typified by New York streets. Cussing, yelling and other carrying on is a way to mask
sensitivity and to hide caring. This is not to say that one becomes less human in New York, it just
means that you can’t appear to be a wimp.
Masking helps people protect themselves from their emotions and is so potent that it is difficult
sometimes to snap people from this hypnosis. Sometimes even making eye contact with others can be
seen as offensive and returned only with an expressionless face, a glare, or even a snarl as if implying
that the issue is that of another and not theirs.
Just like country folk expect and appreciate amicable greetings, smiles, waves and nods, city slickers
expect and appreciate emotionless faces, few or no greetings and for people to mind their own business.
Don’t confuse either situation for anything other than a coping mechanism. Taken in similar context,
you might just see how similar each breed of people really is.
Here is a breakdown of ways we act in crowded places like subways and elevators:
[A] We stand or sit still, unmoving. The more crowded the area, the more frozen we remain.
[B] The face becomes blank and expressionless, but it is not due to negative thoughts but rather as a
coping mechanism.
[C] Eye contact is avoided by looking at the floor or ceiling.
[D] Books, newspapers and other devices appear particularly interesting and immersive, serving to
detach the self emotionally from the situation.
[E] Under extremely crowded conditions where touching is unavoidable, bodies appear to jostle to
make space and if possible only allow shoulders and elbows to touch.