The Ultimate Body Language Book

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Edward T. Hall in the early 1960s to describe the implications distances play between people as they interact. He summarized the rule as follows: “Like gravity, the influence of two bodies on each other is inversely proportional not only to the square of their distance, but possibly even to the cube of the distance between them.” According to researcher Heini Hediger who studied the psychology and behaviour of captive animals in zoos and circuses in 1955, spacing is governed by how close animals are to one another, with four possible responses: flight, critical or attack, personal and social. People we find, are no different. “Personal” and “social” refers to interactions between members of the same species and is benign and non-confrontational, whereas “flight” and “critical”, usually occurs between members of different species and represents a direct threat or perceived threat to safety. Hall reasoned therefore, that with few exceptions, flight and critical distances had been eliminated from human reactions. This is largely do to the environment by which we all exist as we tolerate mild intrusions of our personal space on a daily bases. When people enter our personal space we predict that they are either close friends, making a sexual advance, or they are hostile and are attempting an attack. Close encounters from strangers produce visceral reactions. Our hearts beat faster and we become flush as our bodies prepare us to fight or run. The same reactions are commonplace when our lovers enter our personal space for the first time. Even a touch of the hand can send the heart into flutter and release pleasure hormones. Except in the case of a lover the hormones are stress hormones which are naturally bad for us and in all due to all exhilaration we get a good dose of the “action hormone” adrenaline. This is why it is so important to respect the personal space around others. Not only will the intrusion make them feel uncomfortable, but they will also formulate negative judgments about you. The rule of thumb is to always give provide as much space as possible and allow others to approach you instead of vice versa. When in public and especially in crowded areas filled with strangers our bodies will follow very specific silent speech rules. These rules protect our sanity first and foremost. They also convey our desires to get along with others in harmony, and that we respect them. In close, unavoidable proximity with strangers, our bodies will tense up or remain motionless so as to avoid contact. If accidental contact ensues, we will pull in whatever part of the body was touched and if particularly obtrusive we offer a verbal apology. Even if contact is rare, any part of the body that may result in touching is kept under heavy tension. We wouldn’t want our bodies to leave our control and move into the space of someone else. To loosen up or relax our bodies, is to ignore an important rule in congested places. Even our faces will remain rigid and free from emotion. Our gaze will be fixed or we will glaze over, looking “through” people instead of making eye contact. We even tend to limit conversations with people we know as this too violates the unwritten code of conduct. We’ll pick up a newspaper, even though we might have no interest in it, just to remove ourselves from the situation even further. Chapter 4 – Space and Territory Personal Space Distances There are four distances by which people interact. They are the “intimate distance” where only about eight inches or less separates two people, the “personal distance” from eighteen inches to five feet, the “social distance” which is from five to ten feet and the “public distance” which is from ten feet to twenty-five feet. We tolerate intimate distances for embracing, touching, or whispering from sexual partners, family members and occasionally, even friends. Personal space is reserved for good friends and those we have a fairly high level of trust. The social distance is reserved for acquaintances that we perhaps don’t fully trust yet, but otherwise need to interact with, and the public distance is that which we use to address large audiences.
An arm is extended to indicate that personal space is being violated and protect a personal space bubble. Our personal space, the area next to our bodies, which we protect against intrusion, has been referred to as a “bubble”, since it encircles us, but it more closely resembles a cylinder. The cylinder encompasses our entire bodies, from our feet to our head. It is this cylinder that we protect rigorously, and when it is violated we tense up or back away so as to reduce or prevent additional overlap from the cylinders of others. Our personal space isn’t totally fixed either. It is constantly expanding and contracting depending on our environment and company. For example, we permit children, pets, and inanimate objects into our personal space regularly because we do not perceive them as a threat, but other adults must earn our trust before entering. Our personal space tolerances are directly related to the strength of our relationship.
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Chapter 1 - Why The Study Of Body L
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Looking Askance And Eye Rolling Ste
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The Stiff Or Curved Arm Objects As
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The Male Crotch Display Eliminating
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How To Accurately Read Lies Comfort
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Head down with hand to mouth is a
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publish it through the www.BodyLang
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Itchy nose or does this mean someth
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and then relate the body language s
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people’s natural desires to pleas
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mind and create positive or negativ
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to the world around us, and the sti
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pulled across the mouth, but the mu
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after years apart, or when someone
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these class of neurons might be rel
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keep the conversation going. They
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Subconscious facial expressions can
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arricades to block ourselves from v
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Chapter 2 - The Basics Of Understan
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accurately judge a person. The rule
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We regularly place more importance
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statements that are taken out of co
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on the spot, and in real time. Chap
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idiosyncrasy. Does this mean that e
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to be compare to a baseline as they
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such as postures and signals or in
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than simple observation. While Wats
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Millions of years ago, we gave up q
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fact there is a class of body langu
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speak, by observation and practice.
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Body language makes the intent of a
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We rarely catch women checking men
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Page 79 and 80: Chapter 2 - The Basics Of Understan
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Page 83 and 84: Asymmetrical posture shows a lack o
Page 85 and 86: 4. Keep your midsection tight to as
Page 87 and 88: kissing, back slapping, high fives,
Page 89 and 90: that create relief. Someone that is
Page 91 and 92: exercise except in this case the en
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Page 95 and 96: when people suffer from illness per
Page 97 and 98: Much debate has been raised about t
Page 99 and 100: present, the Japanese more than the
Page 101 and 102: Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Em
Page 103 and 104: This “a-okay” gesture means goo
Page 105 and 106: Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Il
Page 107 and 108: Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Af
Page 109 and 110: Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Re
Page 111 and 112: Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Ad
Page 113 and 114: characteristics. It is general in n
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Page 117 and 118: Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Cu
Page 119 and 120: Disgust.
Page 121 and 122: into facial emotion recognition and
Page 123 and 124: ecome more uniform, so too does the
Page 125 and 126: The handshake is quickly becoming t
Page 127 and 128: Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Int
Page 129: Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Pro
Page 133 and 134: Personal Space Distances 1. Intimat
Page 135 and 136: wave of the hand in the country is
Page 137 and 138: This is a comfortable body ready fo
Page 139 and 140: Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Spa
Page 141 and 142: e it to respect it by reading their
Page 143 and 144: overtly show that they are being in
Page 145 and 146: its hidden meaning. Chapter 5 - See
Page 147 and 148: Chapter 5 - Seeing Eye To Eye - A L
Page 153 and 154: stance causing them to drop their a
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Page 157 and 158: females. The men in the study were
Page 159 and 160: preparation for action so we won’
Page 161 and 162: A second related nonverbal behavior
Page 163 and 164: flash it lasts on average for only
Page 165 and 166: This interest posture is hard to mi
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Page 175 and 176: their thoughts. For most right-hand
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meeting, so as to either, remedy th
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Chapter 5 - Seeing Eye To Eye - A L
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negative cue done to avoid harmful
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Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter The
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The uneven smile. This one is a fak
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Liars also find it difficult to smi
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Research on smiles has been a hot t
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Chimpanzees, like humans have two c
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our faces a break. We know instinct
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“Wipe that grin off your face”.
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egardless of their emotional state.
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is why it is important to surround
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Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter Is
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fun of a sprinter for being slow, i
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Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter Sum
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determine the thoughts, feelings an
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obstruction from any limbs or objec
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His ventral display says that he’
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Chapter 7 - Opened Mind Opened Body
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Wrists displays shows comfort. I th
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Pockets make great hand-hiding plac
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parties hands might graduate away.
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something. Rubbing the hands togeth
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The “politicians gesture” comes
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The “offerer” wants to give you
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Any time a part of the body crosses
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An abbreviated arm cross where the
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The coffee cup barrier - even drink
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Cutting off ventral access is a clo
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Good things are not on the horizon.
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up it would be worthwhile to contin
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The legs therefore, are a great ind
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Women with legs open are often seen
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their legs as a dominance display a
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seated or standing. While seated th
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palm down, as if to dry them, and y
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disagreement at every turn. The fig
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posture occurs by placing one or bo
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we are already committed, our feet
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_______ Feet together - attentive.
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If one person fails to open up, usu
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In this chapter we will cover an en
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There are cues that can eliminate,
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includes submissive gestures so som
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een noted that taller men are signi
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This cop knows his game. By keeping
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Chapter 8 - Dominant and Submissive
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verbal language. Let’s take anoth
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at all since all you stand to lose
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we saw before, the figure-four-leg
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might foster mirroring where they m
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the body take up more space and hen
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very pronounced compared to many ot
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downwards towards the crotch. Popul
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A challenge to fight - the chin pop
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superiority and royalty has made th
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space, leaning on their cars, putti
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onds. Dominant people figure that w
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Further research shows that justifi
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oth be made more healthy just by sh
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can link them in our minds, yet kee
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Hugging one’s self is a defensive
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elbow in the hand while that arm is
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Arm gripping is a sign that someone
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eadiness to attack. It can also be
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A purse can be used as a shield to
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higher than a few inches, or the ha
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The chair is a prop used to shield
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conditions, so we might benefit fro
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Chapter 9 -Defensive And Aggressive
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Fists clenching is an early sign of
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Nose flaring or “nasal wing dilat
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This isn’t going well - she looks
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Chapter 10 - Attentive And Evaluati
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A slouched appearance is a clear me
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cartoons. The cliché says that the
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is disliked. However, there is anot
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the glasses signifies deep thought.
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form a bridge. In this posture fing
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interlocked hands as if praying but
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one’s self back” as one might d
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Pinching the bridge of the nose. Ch
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emotions we talk about what motivat
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Burying yourself in a book or liste
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smoothing clothing, rotating a wedd
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The fight or flight response is a b
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Chapter 11 - Emotional Body Languag
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Extreme anxiety causes the desire t
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Clenching and gripping can have man
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A hand-to-mouth gesture used to pla
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Tugging at the ears helps distract
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is also in effort to self sooth. Wi
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indicate confrontation due to anger
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as the fingers stroke the inside of
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need to mouth it, and yet it, so as
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When the mouth becomes inverted in
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Pushing the tongue through compress
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Sneering often happens as a microex
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The ear grab refers to a subconscio
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Itchy nose or does this mean someth
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aggressive with their gestures and
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These legs are interested - note ho
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where the toe is facing down, but t
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useful skill in reading people. Bei
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Happiness. Happiness (smile): The g
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__________ Ever thought about why o
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would identify the policemen as par
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mimicry of postures, mannerisms, fa
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[D] Keeping the legs uncrossed. [E]
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an imagined negotiation scenario wh
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loose situation where one person wi
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dialect, speech rate or tempo, pitc
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Chapter 12 - Mirroring And Building
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undetected lest it cause irreversib
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although it can be helpful to women
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Some men are naturals - the rest of
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‘Accidental touching’ is a subt
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals The
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals She
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The “hands on hips” or hands
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Tibi
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The Forehead Bow, Smiling And Child
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Tickling and other play related act
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Shoulder shrugs make the outline of
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parts aren’t inherently sexy on t
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Hair tossing is done by women to sh
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also tend to carry low hip-to-waist
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Groo
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals The
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Hiki
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correlate it back to their fertilit
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good signal of attraction. Sometime
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Echo
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Kiss
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dropper here and there with regards
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If this sort of tactic makes you un
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Women prefer men with square jaws a
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features and “dance” for them.
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There are a few postures that men u
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effectively to attract his attentio
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Domi
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the same position for too long. Rat
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Tona
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Even stone faced women can be broke
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the mating dance, men can see these
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Hand touches shoulder. This form of
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Summ
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customer and should be respected. T
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expect it. Anyone lower in the food
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they are doing when they shake hand
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normal. Three pumps is recommended
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language H
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language L
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language H
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language W
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language R
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sit because, and what affect seatin
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Boardrooms present an interesting p
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements C
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are already a part of your team and
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ooks, papers and other belongings t
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements S
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements S
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements C
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was the trickle down effect where t
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements O
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A low rank desk arrangement because
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alance between looking out the wind
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He’s already a bit taller than me
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eceiving a D or F from twenty-three
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Touching the nose has long been use
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question “Does this dress make me
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Chapter 16 - Deception and Lie Dete
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while lying was taking place. For e
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create facts instead of simply reca
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One of the most reported cues of de
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To avoid detection, under the ‘fr
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catcher braced and ducked with his
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ecognition software that reads all
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__________ False smile: Where the e
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Such devices are new and their effe
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denial statements such as nodding
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level of guilt. 4. If possible have
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info. This is public info after the
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Evolution and Human Behavior. 27(1)
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Communication Research. 13 (3): 345
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21(4): 1-10. Frank M.G. and Ekman P
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Hecht, M.A. and LaFrance, M. 1988.
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Knackstedt, G., & Kleinke, C. L. (1
Page 631 and 632:
exploring the accuracy of visitor a
Page 633 and 634:
Peluchette, J. V., K. Karl, and K.
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Sommer, R. 1967. Socifugal space. A
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nonverbal behavior. 21: 87-102. Vri
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The Ultimate Body Language Book

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