The Ultimate Body Language Book

Edward T. Hall in the early 1960s to describe the implications distances play between people as they
interact. He summarized the rule as follows: “Like gravity, the influence of two bodies on each other is
inversely proportional not only to the square of their distance, but possibly even to the cube of the
distance between them.” According to researcher Heini Hediger who studied the psychology and
behaviour of captive animals in zoos and circuses in 1955, spacing is governed by how close animals
are to one another, with four possible responses: flight, critical or attack, personal and social. People we
find, are no different. “Personal” and “social” refers to interactions between members of the same
species and is benign and non-confrontational, whereas “flight” and “critical”, usually occurs between
members of different species and represents a direct threat or perceived threat to safety. Hall reasoned
therefore, that with few exceptions, flight and critical distances had been eliminated from human
reactions. This is largely do to the environment by which we all exist as we tolerate mild intrusions of
our personal space on a daily bases.
When people enter our personal space we predict that they are either close friends, making a sexual
advance, or they are hostile and are attempting an attack. Close encounters from strangers produce
visceral reactions. Our hearts beat faster and we become flush as our bodies prepare us to fight or run.
The same reactions are commonplace when our lovers enter our personal space for the first time. Even
a touch of the hand can send the heart into flutter and release pleasure hormones. Except in the case of
a lover the hormones are stress hormones which are naturally bad for us and in all due to all
exhilaration we get a good dose of the “action hormone” adrenaline. This is why it is so important to
respect the personal space around others. Not only will the intrusion make them feel uncomfortable, but
they will also formulate negative judgments about you. The rule of thumb is to always give provide as
much space as possible and allow others to approach you instead of vice versa.
When in public and especially in crowded areas filled with strangers our bodies will follow very
specific silent speech rules. These rules protect our sanity first and foremost. They also convey our
desires to get along with others in harmony, and that we respect them. In close, unavoidable proximity
with strangers, our bodies will tense up or remain motionless so as to avoid contact. If accidental
contact ensues, we will pull in whatever part of the body was touched and if particularly obtrusive we
offer a verbal apology. Even if contact is rare, any part of the body that may result in touching is kept
under heavy tension. We wouldn’t want our bodies to leave our control and move into the space of
someone else. To loosen up or relax our bodies, is to ignore an important rule in congested places. Even
our faces will remain rigid and free from emotion. Our gaze will be fixed or we will glaze over, looking
“through” people instead of making eye contact. We even tend to limit conversations with people we
know as this too violates the unwritten code of conduct. We’ll pick up a newspaper, even though we
might have no interest in it, just to remove ourselves from the situation even further.
Chapter 4 – Space and Territory
Personal Space Distances
There are four distances by which people interact. They are the “intimate distance” where only about
eight inches or less separates two people, the “personal distance” from eighteen inches to five feet, the
“social distance” which is from five to ten feet and the “public distance” which is from ten feet to
twenty-five feet. We tolerate intimate distances for embracing, touching, or whispering from sexual
partners, family members and occasionally, even friends. Personal space is reserved for good friends
and those we have a fairly high level of trust. The social distance is reserved for acquaintances that we
perhaps don’t fully trust yet, but otherwise need to interact with, and the public distance is that which
we use to address large audiences.