The Ultimate Body Language Book

If you find yourself touring a foreign country who’s culture is very different from yours, but find
someone bringing you in closer to hug, kiss a cheek, or hold a hand, don’t pull back. If someone wants
to hold your hand, don’t wince, or twist it away, or if someone shakes your hand for what seems like far
too long, don’t give up part way. These cultural traditions are no worse than yours and since it is you
who is invading someone else’s territory, it is you who deserves to respect your host’s customs and not
them yours. Being welcomed by native people with their traditional greetings is their way to make you
feel at home, even if it violates your personal space requirements, or makes you uneasy. The same can
be said for greetings from the elderly whom I find routinely hang onto a hand after shaking to keep
close. Remember that an intimate greeting is a sign of respect and it should be honoured from
whomever it comes from, and in what way.
Chapter 3 – Cultural Differences
Summary – Chapter 3
In this third chapter we examined and compared the various influences on body language: genetic,
learned and cultural. We found that in terms of genetics we all show similar roots and so display
similarly across cultures, but that learning does play a role in how we might signal. We also covered
emblems, illustrators, affect displays, adaptors and regulators which all form a part of what is called
kinesics or how nonverbal behaviour relates to movement. Emblems, we found, are quotable gestures
that are culturally specific which can be used as replacement for words and have a direct verbal
translation. Illustrators are a second type of gesture that we use while speaking to help us paint a more
descriptive picture such as talking about a boxing match and using a punching motion. Affect displays
is nonverbal language that reveal our emotional state such as smiling or frowning and adaptors are
movements or gestures that are used to manage our feelings or control our responses such as postural
changes. Sometimes these adaptors have hidden meaning, but other times they do not, so caution is
warranted. Regulators on the other hand control turn taking and flow when people speak with one
another. Finally we covered high and low context cultures as it relates to touching and the ways various
cultures meet and greet one another.