The Ultimate Body Language Book
people talk less or if done excessively stop altogether. Try this experiment. As your conversation begins nod your head every few seconds or as you see agreement. Next, increase the rate at which you nod your heard regardless of any agreement. What happens when you increase your nod frequencies? Most likely, up to about two to three continuous nods, they will become more excited believing they are building rapport. What if you nod continuously? I suspect it will stop the conversation altogether. Recall that three quick nods means that you wish to interject, while continuous nodding comes across as feigned agreement sending the conversation into a standstill. What happens with appropriate nodding absent of proper eye contact? This signals to others that their conversation is falling on deaf ears, and will be taken as an insult. The same goes with random nodding that has lost synchrony with speech. Telephone conversations easily fall off their rails if one party becomes preoccupied with another task. We immediately sense that their regulators have become unlinked from the conversation and when it comes time for them to speak, we hear nothing in return, or there is a delay. Not surprisingly, we find that the person on the other end is watching television – an obvious insult. When people near the end of their though, and wish for their partner to speak, they will often lower their volume and slow their voice down slightly. Other times, the final syllable will be drawn out or gesturing with the hands will become less frequent or stop altogether. The eyes too are often lowered along with the head but at the very last moment eye contact will resume indicating that it’s time for the other person to begin speaking. Raising the index finger can also signal a desire to speak which we learn early on in grade school which is normally accompanied by a sharp and deep intake of air. To stifle the “index finger interjector”, extend your hand across and make light contact with their forearm. This is a polite nonverbal way to show that you acknowledge their desire to speak, but that you haven’t quite concluded your point. If you sincerely wish to communicate interest and increase speaking, add a slight head tilt and a half frown or half-smile. This shows the speaker that what they have said is unclear but that you otherwise find it fascinating and wish to learn more. Good communicators will make great partners amongst all types of speakers, even those that seem to carry on endlessly or those with little to say. They will have a strong arsenal of tools to cut one set of speaker off nonverbally, or as the case may be, encourage them to speak further. While we may take regulators for granted, conversations would be awkward and disjointed without them. Experiment a little for yourself and see how you can modify behaviour with regulators to suite your needs.
Chapter 3 – Cultural Differences Culturally Our Bodies Are All Basically The Same!
- Page 65 and 66: Millions of years ago, we gave up q
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- Page 71 and 72: Body language makes the intent of a
- Page 73 and 74: We rarely catch women checking men
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- Page 83 and 84: Asymmetrical posture shows a lack o
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- Page 89 and 90: that create relief. Someone that is
- Page 91 and 92: exercise except in this case the en
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- Page 101 and 102: Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Em
- Page 103 and 104: This “a-okay” gesture means goo
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- Page 123 and 124: ecome more uniform, so too does the
- Page 125 and 126: The handshake is quickly becoming t
- Page 127 and 128: Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Int
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- Page 131 and 132: An arm is extended to indicate that
- Page 133 and 134: Personal Space Distances 1. Intimat
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- Page 137 and 138: This is a comfortable body ready fo
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- Page 143 and 144: overtly show that they are being in
- Page 145 and 146: its hidden meaning. Chapter 5 - See
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- Page 153 and 154: stance causing them to drop their a
- Page 155 and 156: pocket money, looking for someone t
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- Page 159 and 160: preparation for action so we won’
- Page 161 and 162: A second related nonverbal behavior
- Page 163 and 164: flash it lasts on average for only
- Page 165 and 166: This interest posture is hard to mi
Chapter 3 – Cultural Differences<br />
Culturally Our Bodies Are All Basically <strong>The</strong><br />
Same!