Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
5<br />
Flashlights, for some families, were <strong>the</strong> first items to vanish. For o<strong>the</strong>rs, it was a spare propane tank.<br />
Or books on a bedside table, or steaks you’d put <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> freezer. In one cab<strong>in</strong> it was a cast-iron fry<strong>in</strong>g pan, a<br />
par<strong>in</strong>g knife, and a coffeepot. Batteries, for sure, were miss<strong>in</strong>g—often every battery <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> house.<br />
It wasn’t funny enough to be a joke, and it wasn’t serious enough to be a crime. It occupied some<br />
unsettl<strong>in</strong>g place between. Maybe your kids took <strong>the</strong> flashlights. You did put those steaks <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> freezer,<br />
didn’t you? After all, your TV was still <strong>the</strong>re, as was your computer, your camera, your stereo, and your<br />
jewelry. No w<strong>in</strong>dows or doors were broken. Do you call <strong>the</strong> police and tell <strong>the</strong>m <strong>the</strong>re’s been a burglary,<br />
that all your D batteries and your Stephen K<strong>in</strong>g novel are gone? You do not.<br />
But <strong>the</strong>n you return to your cab<strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> follow<strong>in</strong>g spr<strong>in</strong>g and <strong>the</strong> front door is unlocked. Or <strong>the</strong> dead bolt is<br />
undone. Or, <strong>in</strong> one case, <strong>the</strong> hot-water knob on <strong>the</strong> kitchen s<strong>in</strong>k breaks off <strong>in</strong> your hand—easily, as though<br />
it has just been balanced <strong>the</strong>re—and you exam<strong>in</strong>e <strong>the</strong> s<strong>in</strong>k, <strong>the</strong>n <strong>the</strong> w<strong>in</strong>dow over <strong>the</strong> s<strong>in</strong>k, and you see on<br />
<strong>the</strong> sill a few t<strong>in</strong>y white curls that look like file shav<strong>in</strong>gs. <strong>The</strong>n you notice that <strong>the</strong> metal lock on <strong>the</strong> w<strong>in</strong>dow<br />
is open, and that <strong>the</strong> frame around <strong>the</strong> lock has been slightly scraped away.<br />
Holy crap, someone has been <strong>in</strong>side—and probably stepped on your faucet while wriggl<strong>in</strong>g through <strong>the</strong><br />
w<strong>in</strong>dow, <strong>the</strong>n made it look like noth<strong>in</strong>g was broken. Aga<strong>in</strong> no valuables are miss<strong>in</strong>g, but this time you do<br />
call <strong>the</strong> police.<br />
<strong>The</strong> police say <strong>the</strong>y already know about <strong>the</strong> hermit and hope to have <strong>the</strong> case quickly solved. All summer,<br />
at barbecues and campfires, you hear a dozen similar tales. Propane tanks, batteries, and books are <strong>the</strong><br />
constants, but also lost are an outdoor <strong>the</strong>rmometer, a garden hose, a snow shovel, and a case of He<strong>in</strong>eken<br />
beer.<br />
One couple opened <strong>the</strong>ir place for <strong>the</strong> season and discovered that <strong>the</strong>re was no mattress on one of <strong>the</strong><br />
bunk beds. This was baffl<strong>in</strong>g. You couldn’t push a mattress out any of <strong>the</strong> cab<strong>in</strong>’s w<strong>in</strong>dows, not even close.<br />
But <strong>the</strong> front door, <strong>the</strong> only door, had been bolted and padlocked for w<strong>in</strong>ter. <strong>The</strong> door had been sealed when<br />
<strong>the</strong>y’d arrived, <strong>the</strong> lock untouched; <strong>the</strong>re was no damage anywhere. <strong>The</strong> kitchen w<strong>in</strong>dow, however, had been<br />
jimmied open. <strong>The</strong> only idea that made even a sliver of sense was that <strong>the</strong> thief came <strong>in</strong> through <strong>the</strong> w<strong>in</strong>dow,<br />
pried <strong>the</strong> p<strong>in</strong>s out of <strong>the</strong> front door’s h<strong>in</strong>ges, forced <strong>the</strong> door open from <strong>the</strong> h<strong>in</strong>ge side, slid <strong>the</strong> mattress out,<br />
put <strong>the</strong> door back toge<strong>the</strong>r, <strong>the</strong>n exited through <strong>the</strong> w<strong>in</strong>dow.<br />
It was <strong>the</strong> P<strong>in</strong>e Tree Camp, everyone learned, that was <strong>the</strong> primary target, <strong>the</strong> thief’s own private Costco.<br />
In every break-<strong>in</strong>, <strong>the</strong> damage was m<strong>in</strong>imal—no broken glass, no ransack<strong>in</strong>g. He was a thief, not a vandal.<br />
If he removed a door, he took <strong>the</strong> time to reattach it. Expensive items didn’t seem to <strong>in</strong>terest him. Or her.