8_Days__June_1_2017
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THE lasT pagE<br />
BY<br />
COLIN GOH<br />
To ease the labour crunch, Singapore wants to deploy robots to do jobs like being<br />
security guards, collecting dishes in restaurants, and even assisting kindergarten<br />
teachers in storytelling! Not say we say what, but we can think of much better<br />
jobs where robots can replace humans...<br />
SINGAPOREAN ROBOTS<br />
WE’D LIKE TO SEE<br />
01<br />
THE CHOPETOPUS 8000:<br />
Reserve multiple seats in a conspicuous and<br />
unambiguous manner. With motion-activated perimeter<br />
voice alarm repeating, “Chope already!” Also: dispenses<br />
more tissues than some tiny packet.<br />
02<br />
OPS READY NATIONAL SERVICE HALPBOT:<br />
Collects, cleans, stores and delivers my field<br />
pack after In-Camp Training (and also passes my IPPT for me).<br />
03<br />
MECHA OF PARLIAMENT:<br />
Helps out the most overworked profession in the<br />
country! With auto-sanitising mechanical hands that can perform millions<br />
of handshakes; super-moist puckering silicone lips designed to minimise<br />
babies crying; multi-positional selfie stick for photo ops; tireless robotic<br />
legs for marathon walkabouts; and 4K recording functions to conduct<br />
Scan The People Sessions.<br />
04<br />
PUSHY MOTHERFASTER XLR8:<br />
Solves Singapore’s No. 1<br />
labour problem — labour! Will incubate your<br />
foetus then deliver your baby, chop-chop,<br />
without the usual pains of childbirth.<br />
Watch Singapore’s population pop as this<br />
bot keeps on pooping out poppets!<br />
112<br />
8<br />
DAYS
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