suzanna-kollinz-acliq-oyunlari-1-hisse-eng

Prim was thrilled to have her back, but I kept watching,
waiting for her to disappear on us again. I didn’t trust her. And
some small gnarled place inside me hated her for her weakness,
for her neglect, for the months she had put us through.
Prim forgave her, but I had taken a step back from my mother,
put up a wall to protect myself from needing her, and nothing
was ever the same between us again.
Now I was going to die without that ever being set right. I
thought of how I had yelled at her today in the Justice Building.
I had told her I loved her, too, though. So maybe it would
all balance out.
For a while I stand staring out the train window, wishing I
could open it again, but unsure of what would happen at such
high speed. In the distance, I see the lights of another district.
7? 10? I don’t know. I think about the people in their houses,
settling in for bed. I imagine my home, with its shutters drawn
tight. What are they doing now, my mother and Prim? Were
they able to eat supper? The fish stew and the strawberries?
Or did it lay untouched on their plates? Did they watch the recap
of the day’s events on the battered old TV that sits on the
table against the wall? Surely, there were more tears. Is my
mother holding up, being strong for Prim? Or has she already
started to slip away, leaving the weight of the world on my sister’s
fragile shoulders?
Prim will undoubtedly sleep with my mother tonight. The
thought of that scruffy old Buttercup posting himself on the
bed to watch over Prim comforts me. If she cries, he will nose
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