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daily basis? Most of it has been consumed with the acquisition<br />

of food. Take that away and I’m not really sure who I am, what<br />

my identity is. The idea scares me some. I think of Haymitch,<br />

with all his money. What did his life become? He lives alone,<br />

no wife or children, most of his waking hours drunk. I don’t<br />

want to end up like that.<br />

“But you won’t be alone,” I whisper to myself. I have my<br />

mother and Prim. Well, for the time being. And then . . . I don’t<br />

want to think about then, when Prim has grown up, my mother<br />

passed away. I know I’ll never marry, never risk bringing a<br />

child into the world. Because if there’s one thing being a victor<br />

doesn’t guarantee, it’s your children’s safety. My kids’ names<br />

would go right into the reaping balls with everyone else’s. And<br />

I swear I’ll never let that happen.<br />

The sun eventually rises, its light slipping through the<br />

cracks and illuminating Peeta’s face. Who will he transform into<br />

if we make it home? This perplexing, good-natured boy who<br />

can spin out lies so convincingly the whole of Panem believes<br />

him to be hopelessly in love with me, and I’ll admit it, there<br />

are moments when he makes me believe it myself? At least,<br />

we’ll be friends, I think. Nothing will change the fact that we’ve<br />

saved each other’s lives in here. And beyond that, he will always<br />

be the boy with the bread. Good friends. Anything<br />

beyond that though . . . and I feel Gale’s gray eyes watching me<br />

watching Peeta, all the way from District 12.<br />

Discomfort causes me to move. I scoot over and shake Peeta’s<br />

shoulder. His eyes open sleepily and when they focus on<br />

me, he pulls me down for a long kiss.<br />

307

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